Greg Olsen is to Rex Grossman as a penis is to an Indigo Girls concert
May 19, 2007 2006 Draft, 2007 Draft, Amobi Okoye is 19, Athletes who don't stab people, Broken Record, DeMeco Ryans, Super Mario, Teams that aren't the Texans
I understand that, as the perennial AFC South doormats, the Texans don’t get the press coverage of, say, the Cowboys or even the Sam Houston State University field hockey team. I am generally ok with this.
Still, an article about the ten draft picks likely to have a big impact with their respective teams should almost certainly include Manchild, shouldn’t it? You are talking about someone who (a) is a gifted interior pass-rusher and can also play the run; (b) will take double-teams off of Super Mario, almost guaranteeing that he will break double-digits in sacks; and (c) makes life easier for ROY DeMeco Ryans (which should be a frightening thought for AFC South RBs).
I fail to see how this kind of impact will be less than a pass-catching TE who will rely on Rex Grossman’s arm or a defensive end who is being converted to tackle in order to play the run in the NFC West. Both Olsen and Carriker will likely disappear for long stretches, both within a single game and over the course of the season. Manchild, on the other hand, will make an impact on nearly every defensive snap in one (or more) of the three ways listed above.
Shit, I feel like a damned parrot at this point. BRRAWCK PEOPLE ARE IGNORING THE TEXANS BRRAWCK! PRETTY BIRD PRETTY BIRD!
(click arrow to reply)
May 19th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
What does Rex Grossman have on Coach Lovie Smith? Did Smith lose a bet with one of his buddies? Rex Grossman was nothing more than average at Florida and has consistently shown that he couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat. Olsen should think about setting up Coach Smith with a she-male and get some compromising pictures of his own.
As to the lack of press about our beloved Texans, I like to think that at this particular time of the year, after the draft and before the official start of training camp, no news is good news. All we’ve heard for the past few weeks is about players from the Bengals, Jags, Dolphins and Bears either going to jail, getting out of jail, failing a drug test or just being stupid. (I’m choosing not to acknowledge the video of Mario being a dumbass in his car). It’s nice that we don’t have an abundance of players who feel the need to act out their own version of Boyz in the Hood and roll heavy everywhere they go.
You also get the triple word score for using the word penis in the same sentence with the Indigo Girls. I could see Rex Grossman at an Indigo Girls concert. EWWWW.
(click arrow to reply)
May 19th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Rex’s inability to throw pairs well with the Bears’ WRs’ inability to catch. Other than Muhammad, those guys couldn’t catch the clap in a Mexican whorehouse.
Your point about press is well-taken. Aside from the collective national blowjob being given to the Pats, I suppose there aren’t a lot of teams getting constant positive press.