DGDB&D: a Texans blog.

All the little chicks with the crimson lips

Jul 25, 2007 Batman, Posts that list too many players, Preview, Super Mario, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Schaub Experiment, Winner winner chicken dinner

What in the world??? Fear not… just read here for an explanation.

Win #6–Week 12 @ Cleveland.

During warmups for this game last season, Ron Dayne passed out after eating a whole tub of Crisco¹ and Jeb Putzier fractured his foot. Even worse, Zoolander went 9/15 for 86 yards and a red zone INT. Still, when the shooting stopped the Texans were on top 14-6. (Thanks, in part, to Anthony Maddox getting a sack, forced fumble, fumble recovery, and 47-yard TD all on the same play.)

So, what has happened in the days between Dec. 31, 2006, and right now? Dayne has been replaced by Batman. Carr has been replaced by Matt Schaub. The offensive line (save for Chester Pitts) is healthy.

In Cleveland, however, they drafted a whiny crotch grabber (who might hold out), then decided that they would stick (at least initially) with the QB who lost to Houston last year. Jamal Lewis takes the place of Reuben Droughns, which is what the guys in Vegas call a “push.” They did improve the O-line by drafting Thomas and getting Bentley back, but even the mid-90s Cowboys’ line couldn’t make Charlie Frye into an NFL QB.

Here’s how I see it playing out. Quinn will have gotten the nod about two weeks before this game. However, since he missed some of camp and because he is a complete ninny, he will still be somewhere near the bottom of his learning curve. Joe Thomas, as good as he might be, will struggle with Mario. Our running game will chug along, but probably not crack 100 yards. This won’t matter, though, because Schaub and Co. will pick on Eric Wright, et al, to the tune of 250 and 3 TDs. Good times.

¹ Or, if you want to believe the media, he aggravated an existing ankle injury. Either way, he didn’t play.