I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You’ve done nothing! NOTHING!
Sep 13, 2007 2007 Season, David Carr has Post-Concussion Syndrome, Teams that aren't the Texans
I am not ignoring the “David Carr facing his old team” angle of this week’s game. I’m aware the story is out there and that the Chronicle seems to think Zoolander took more knowledge with him than he bothered to display while in Houston, but I just don’t have a lot to say about it.
Thankfully, Tim does.
On behalf of Houston fans, allow me to offer our sincere apology. We’re truly sorry that the situation “just got so big,” David. Unreasonable expectations, such as a .500 record within (5) years and/or a QB who is better known for his play than his hair, sure can be a pain.
[...]
And while his worth ethic, leadership, and performance have thus far proven to be everything you weren’t, we haven’t forgotten you, Dave. Every time we purchase a bottle of mousse, or get a spray tan, or watch an infant or a puppy curl up as if it was still in its mother’s womb, we will think of you.
Awesome. And it only gets better in the accompanying diary.
Zoolander: But it’s not over. A defender may have already gotten some penetration into the…wait, who am I kidding? This is the Texans offensive line! Of course the D will have gotten back there! You know, that’s why I’m not still in Houston, Foxy. The Texans never protected me.
Fox (speechless):…
Zoolander: Anyhooo…if there’s a defender within five yards of that SOB #8, he’ll go to his third option–the fetal position.
Fox: WHAT THE…!
Zoolander: Yup. He’ll curl up and fall down. I used to imagine that I was back in my daddy’s womb, where it was always so safe and warm and…
In other news, I am actually starting to look forward to this game. Considering the Panthers have good corners and a pass rush, this should be the perfect test for the Texans v. 2.0 offense, as we’ll actually have to manufacture some drives. (Something that we are not used to seeing between September and December.) Should be close.
Also, if anyone can find a link to the stats that Eric Kuselias (or it might have been John Seibel) was talking about yesterday regarding the importance of week 1 games, I would greatly appreciate it.
