DGDB&D: a Texans blog.

I’ve got a super busy day today, but there were a couple of haps last night/this morning to talk about.

Happy trails to Jerome Mathis. Wait, not happy trails. What’s the term I am looking for? Oh yeah. Jerome, bite me. See ya,pal.

“Word out of Houston” is that the Texans and Vikes have broken off trade talks, which would send Houston a pick for Sage Rosenfels. I can’t even begin to tell you how disappointed that makes me. Sage for anything would kick ass. The sad fact is that, with Sage at the helm, I don’t think we are a playoff capable team. He’s a backup. He had a career year. It’s called trading high. Take a 3rd and 4th or 5th for him, and be happy.

C Rex Hadnot is coming in for a visit. The Lufkin native likely has Houston at the top of his charts, but we don’t need to acquire another C who’s not an appreciable upgrade (if at all) over what we already have…especially when he wants $5MM/year. We need a LT. Let’s save some dough for one of those.

Jacques Reeves, formerly of the Dallas Childmolesters, is coming in for a visit. The dude is going to strike it rich, and he’s got literal cleat marks on his back. He was picked on all year by opposing offenses. If we are the team to make him rich, I can guarantee that I will make him the new bfd DGDB&D whipping boy. DO NOT SIGN HIS ASS!   EDIT: What Tim said.

Finally, a dios to Cedric Killings, who is retiring after his horrific neck injury last year against the Dolts. As I’ve gotten older, I realize how hard it is to stop doing something you love due to physical limitations. There are many athletes who just go too long and lose their quality of life as a result. Killings has physically returned to normal, but he is at great risk for permanent injury in case he has a similar collision. I feel for him, but I also congratulate him on his career and, most importantly, on his decision.

* Source: Everything from rotoworld.com, which is saving my lazy ass this morning.

I know I am on record various places as saying I absolutely do not want to draft a CB with our first pick, primarily because I hate the idea of “Fred and Rookie CB” as our starting tandem. (Then again, I’d take a number of 7th graders over Petey and he was one half of our duo at this point last season, so it could be much worse.)

Anyway…I have to amend that position a bit. I absolutely do not want to draft a CB with our first pick unless Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie falls to 18.

40-yard dash? 4.33 (3d among CBs).
Vertical jump? 38.5 (1st among CBs).
Broad jump? 10′11″ (1st among CBs).
Three-cone drill? 6.74 sec (T-1st among CBs).
60-yard shuttle? 11.06 sec (1st among CBs).

Wow.

Holy fucking jeez, even.

And before any of you mentions that “combine numbers are overblown–what matters is on-field performance,” take a gander at this:

In 39 starts for the Tigers, opposing quarterbacks completed just 55 of 161 passes (34.16%) thrown in Rodgers-Cromartie’s immediate area. He intercepted 11 of those throws, deflected 25 and held the opposition to a miniscule 3.54 yards per pass attempt, the best of any collegiate defensive back over the last three seasons.

I think I am in love. I put him just below Felix Jones and above Kenny Phillips (who, luckily might actually slip due to a mediocre combine) on my wish list.

As a general rule, I probably put WAY more personal information into posts on here than (a) most bloggers do on their own blogs and (b) is probably a good idea.  That said, I ain’t stoppin’ now.

Sophia Elizabeth Campbell was born February 26, 2008, at 12:53 A.M, and weighed in at 5 lb. 10 oz.  Despite the fact that the baby was 4 weeks and 4 days early, she scored a 9 on the one-minute APGAR and a 10 on the 5-minute.  She is also, according to the doctor, one of only two or three 35 week babies he’s ever discharged after only one night.  Plus, she looks nearly exactly like I did as a newborn.  So, yeah, you could say I am proud.

Some random thoughts and observations based on my first 72 hours of being the father of a girl.

• Because she had to spend her first night in the nursery and because mom was hooked up to the happy juice through lunch the next day, I spent a lot of quality time talking to her during her first twenty-four hours.  During that time, we discussed things she should like (the Texans, Michigan football, BBQ) and things she should hate (the Cowboys, Ohio State, midgets).  We also worked on our first phrase (”fuck the Cowboys”) and decided that 25 is an appropriate age to consider dating.
• Girl plumbing is, to say the least, different.  I knew this going in, of course, but I hadn’t really considered until my first diaper changing experience.  I am pleased to report we had no problems.
• You know your baby is small when you look at the “newborn” sized clothes and think, whoa, that is WAY too big for her.
• I am reasonably sure she is the smartest human being on the planet.
• It wasn’t until after she was named that I realized her initials were “SEC.”  This troubles me.  I fear, as I told Tim, that I am slowly being assimilated.  Damn.

As I write this, I have Elmore James singing “The Sky is Crying” in the back of my head, and I think I know why.

As reported in Nashville’s City Paper (ironically, an old client of mine from many years ago), Pacman Jones “has been given permission by the Tennessee Titans to pursue a trade.”

Now, let’s see here.  Texans have a huge need for help at CB?  Check.  Houston has serious zoning issues?   Check.  The Crystal Pistol?  Check.  Houston has the highest strip joints/capita in the nation?  Check and check.*

Can you say match made in heaven?

Seriously, though, and tip your waitress, I have no problem giving up a 5th round pick or so and taking a chance on Pacman.  Fact is, he’s still only 25, and I really don’t have a problem with taking chances on people who have made mistakes in the past, especially when considering he’ll be relatively cheap to acquire.  The Texans’ locker room seems to have strong character people, and something might click for Pacman.  I mean, who among us wasn’t arrested six times in their 20s?  Sheesh.

Sometimes, the gamble pays off, and this one could be huge.  Just say yes to Pacman.  What do y’all think?

Anyway, how can I possibly thank the person who brought the phrase “make it rain” into my every day vocabulary enough?   You simply can’t pay back that kind of reward.

* Yeah, I made that shit up, though I wouldn’t doubt it.

Fred Bennett.

Posted without further comment and only one tag.

(h/t Eric)

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog for an announcement:

My wife is having a baby today. And I am reasonably sure it is mine. The good news (for you) is that my absence won’t be all that different from what you’ve gotten for the last couple weeks. BFD, please make sure to feed the animals and lock the doors at night.

Catch y’all on the flip-side. With pictures, no doubt.

-M

Michael Huff, the versatile defensive back of the Oakland Raiders, is on the trading block (h/t to Jersey Bill). The 2005 Thorpe Award winner was a badass for the Longhorns (as are all Longhorns, natch), but the Raiders in their infinite wisdom decided to take a 4.34 guy and put him at SS. Ummm, yeah, that turned out to be a pretty bad idea (their experiment to insert Randy Moss as a blocking tight end didn’t work out well, either).

If there is a more humble group of people than the Raiders Nation, it could only be a clown car full of Gandhis, so let’s see what nice things they have to say about Huff:

Einstein says: “Huff reminds me of Najee Mustafa or Elvis Patterson. He sucks, how he even receives and NFL check is beyond me. And to think this waste of roster spot was a first round pick. What a complete bust. He is probably one of the biggest busts the Raiders have ever drafted.”

Bodiddly says: “The Raiders scouting department needs an overhaul,they have missed on more than they have hit.Look at the winning teams draft history and you will seldom see a safety drafted so high.Now the team is stuck with this player that is over paid due his high draft position.No team is likely to pay more than a bargain price for a player
in this salary category if he’s not an outstanding contributor.” (if a post ever needed the {sic} notation, this would be it}

Granted, there are a lot of commenters on this post who get it: Huff is a FS or CB, not a SS. As we have previously agreed, there often is not a huge difference between the FS and SS. However, with guys like Antonio Gates and Kellen Winslow in the league, covering and being able to tackle tight ends is an essential part of the job, one that Huff had difficulty in doing because of his size.

Perhaps the Raiders realize this. And, perhaps, with a roster already loaded with CBs like Fabian Washington, Stanford Routt, and Nnamdi Asomugha, the Raiders believe they have some depth (and salary) to trade.

In many ways, Huff would be a great pick up because of his versatility. If Dunta is 100%, Huff easily slides into FS. If Dunta loses a step, Huff sticks at corner and Dunta moves to FS.

There is a genuine question on if Huff can play CB in the NFL. At UT, he had a reputation as a hard, self-motivated worker, and that 4.34 speed doesn’t hurt, either (as a benchmark, Huff’s 4.34 would be 3rd for RBs and tops for WRs this year (DBs haven’t run yet). At 6′ and 205 lbs, he has good size, as well.

The bigger problem is, what would it take to grab the Nimitz High (and therefore Houston) native. It’s a huge contract on top of giving something up. The Raiders don’t exactly have a friendly trading history, either, with Al Davis a well-known trading asshole.

As for Brian Kelly? I vote for “Just say no.” First, he lost his starting job in TB to P-Buch. Secondly, he’s 32 and has obviously lost a step. Third, P-Buch took away his job. Finally, we don’t run the Cover 2, the defense he’s most familiar with and one that covers his weaknesses (aka, coverage and anything related) well.

————————

Just, holy crap. This is considered journalism? “And I wish each one of you could be here with me.” That’s really what it’s all about for you, isn’t it?

Whenever the traditional media shits on blogs for not following journalistic standards, think of this article.

——————-

Zach Thomas, thanks to {insert deity of your choice here}, signed with the Cowpokes. There’s just a poetic, ironic justice at work here. I wish both ZT and the ‘pokes a nice, downhill ride off into the sunset together. Actually, I take that back. I wish ZT a pleasant farewell. The cowboys. still. suck.

Now, I know that at least once before, I wrote a post about the Chron ripping off something that happened here and passing it off as original. I was subsequently accused of being overreaching, paranoid, and narcissistic (none of which I can dispute). Whatever. Let’s ride that horse again.

I got an email from Jersey Bill tonight, pointing out a little similarity between a comment he made and a column written by Megan Manfull. Bill writes:

I honestly believe it is a testament to Al Gore’s Internet that this could happen. Notice the post date and time [of this Megan Manfull column]. I put up the same thing about 3 hours before she did in BFD’s CB post. Now, I’m not claiming that I had inside knowledge and this an exclusive. I’m saying that a goof who likes to read a blog about the Texans throws out the same question, and on a nothing doing day, it ends up in a major media website. This pretty much takes another stomp at the dead horse, but how lazy could these writers be? I wouldn’t mind that much, but all these smarmy writers takes shots at fan sites and blogs whenever they get a chance.

Interesting. Let’s investigate. First, Jersey Bill’s comment on BFD’s post about CBs.

Jersey Bill replies at 24th February 2008, 3:42 pm :

Brian Kelly (Bucs CB) opted out of his contract and Michael Huff is available via trade. Wouldn’t it be nice to grab those two with one fell swoop? Certainly would change the draft board.

Now, for Megan’s missive.

How does safety Michael Huff sound for Texans?

There are reports around Oakland that former Longhorns safety Michael Huff is on the trading block. With the draft full of offensive tackles and cornerbacks, the Texans will be looking for safeties in free agency. Anyone want to see Huff become a Texan?

Posted by Megan Manfull at February 24, 2008 07:25 PM

Is it completely plausible that Manfull heard the rumor elsewhere and thought it would provide thought-provoking fodder for her blog. I realize that. At the same time, it is awful convenient (as Bill points out) that on a day when next to nothing is happening other than the combine, Manfull writes a blog entry about something that was posted here three hours prior. (This is where I would say “verrrrry interesting” and stroke my long white beard if I were an evil mastermind.)

It’s ok, Megan. There is no shame in reading DGDB&D. Well, other than some of the stuff BFD writes, that is. All we ask is that you give a little nod or hat tip or some kind of Lilith Fair fish taco wave or whatever.

***

In other, related news, I hope to have some sort of rundown of Combine results tomorrow or Tuesday. My wife and this damned fetus are in “well, it could fall out at any point” mode, so I promise nothing. Actually, that’s not true–I promise a Romo-Simpson wedding post at some point real soon. And if Pancakes does the fake conversation before I do, I will kill a puppy.

Darren McFadden unofficially ran a 4.33 in his second go at the 40.

His first run, you ask? 4.27.

The Falcons are now rumored to want to trade up to grab him, but my hope that he would slide because of character issues just died a spectacular, flaming death. BTW, Felix Jones ran a 4.47. How’s that for a backfield?

Hopefully, I will have a post up about RBs tonight. No guarantee as I still have a ton of “other” to take care of this evening.

Source: rotoworld.com. Also, this dude is putting some cool stuff on his blog: http://draftheadquarters.com/. It’s like real coverage by the Chron without the self-fluffing!

According to Rick Smith:

[T]he team won’t hesitate to start [Sage] Rosenfels if he outplays [Matt] Schaub this season.

“That to me always plays itself out on the football field,” Smith said. “I don’t think you can let finances, ego, I don’t think you can let anything stand in the way of playing the best football player because that is going to win you football games on Sunday.”

I suppose, on its face, that statement is far more enlightened than what you get out of most general managers. Lord knows, you’d never hear something like that out of Dallas, even if Jesus Christ himself was the second-string QB. (Not that Jesus would ever deign to play for the ladies up north. Maybe I should have used “Troy Aikman’s assbaby” as my hypothetical QB. Whatever.)

ANYWAY…like I said, that is a pretty enlightened statement for a GM to make. Do I buy it? Depends. If you are asking whether I believe that Sage would get to play if Schaub flopped, of course. If, however, you are asking whether I think Schaub and Sage enter this season on equal footing with the starting QB job up for grabs, my answer is “hell to da naw, dawg.” Which I think means “no.”

Without rehashing all the same Schaub v. Sage arguments, can we all just agree that pretending like the QB you mortgaged the farm for this time last year is going to be given every chance in the world to succeed is asinine? Better yet, can we agree that if Sage and Schaub turn in identical pre-season performances that Schaub is the guy you go with? Finally, can we assume that I am just doing a paragraph of nothing but rhetorical questions so it looks like I have posted more?

Now that Nnamdi Asomugha has broken Matt’s heart like so many Anna-Megans, let’s take a look at some of the least sucky options at cornerback still available.

Marcus Trufant - Franchise tag. Not a surprising move by the Seasquawks, but it means he’s out.

DeAngelo Hall - Yeah, we have consensus that he’s an asswipe. I’ve always been of the opinion, however, that as long as you play for the team, being an asswipe isn’t all bad (see Sanders, Deion). But I’m not sure if Hall qualifies for that level. And considering the baggage he carries, and that the Falcons allegedly want a first round pick for him, fuck him. Of course, there’s the chance that we can dick the Falcons on a deal again, which definitely gives me warm fuzzies.

Asante Samuel - We’ve previously brushed Samuel aside for contract size reasons, but considering what Trufant and Nnamdi are getting, is that the market for a CB? Perhaps it’s now something to consider?

Lito Sheppard - A dirty, unsubstantiated rumor has the Eagles interested in Samuel because they think Sheppard has a glass jaw. If the Eagles do sign Samuel, I think Sheppard is gone.

Jacques Reeves - Ugh, a cowpoke, and one who was picked on during the year. But, sheesh, this is the territory we are starting to hit. Reeves is an unrestricted free agent.

Randall Gay - When watching the Patriots this year, it seemed to me that the Pats had two weak links in their secondary: King Asshole Rodney Harrison, and Randall Gay. Yet, Gay might be the most likely option as of today. Still, Gay can be flammable at times, and I kinda see him as a more expensive Petey. There, I said it..

Brian Kelly - Dude, you lost your job to P-Buch? Seriously? What, did you fall asleep on the field?

Drayton Florence - You can add him to the flammable list.

Chris Carr - Has seen most of his action on special teams, including as a punt returner.

Have I missed anybody?

Look at this list. It’s pretty pathetic at this point. There’s a chance somebody like Ricky Manning becomes available after the first round of salary cuts, and I wouldn’t mind him in the least. But, still, the lack of feasible CBs, along with Dunta’s injury, means that we have to address CB a lot sooner than later. Even though I am against huge mega-contracts, I think Samuel may be the only decent option out there, even if we have to overpay.

The way I look at it: we either overpay for mediocrity, or we overpay for above average production.

Or, of course, we take a CB in the draft with our 1st or 3rd round pick.

PS: Look, Matt, I bolded names all by myself. I’m a big boy today!

PPS: If you can name the show from where I got the reference in the title, give yourself a cookie.

Well fuck me in the ear.

It seems that the puppeteers who manipulate the Corpse of Al Davis have placed the exclusive franchise tag on stud CB and cause of rampant wishing and speculation, Nnamdi Asomugha.

Asomugha, who emerged as a franchise star the past two seasons, will earn $9.465 million for the 2008 season, the average salary of the top-five cornerbacks in the NFL. He could earn more if the average is higher at the end of the restricted free agency period.

I know it was–at best–a pipe-dream that he would sign with the Texans. I know this and yet I am still pissed about it. And here I said I wasn’t going to drink tonight. Thanks, Al.

February 15, 2008. Manvel, TX. 10:30PM.

Jerome Mathis: (in car, to himself) Damn. DAMN! I have completely fucked up. Fuck. She is going to be pissed, too. Why the fuck did I let the dogs get out? After the year I had…man…I’m fucked.

(pulls into driveway, goes into house) Erica! Erica?! You here?

Erica Smith: (from upstairs) Yeah, I’m upstairs. Hold on. I’ll be down in a minute.

Mathis: (to self) Fuuuuuck. OK, Jerome. Hold it together. You’re a Pro Bowler; you’ll get a job somewhere. And she loves you for you…y’all having a baby together and shit. OK, here she comes. Stay calm. Don’t get defensive… (to Smith) Hey, baby! How was your day?!

Smith: Motherfucker, how do you think my day was?! I am fucking pregnant. I threw up this morning, then I was tired, then my feet started hurting, then I threw up again, then I had to nap for a while. That’s how MY day was. But that’s not what concerns me right now. What concerns me is whether you talked to McNair about what we talked about last night.

Mathis: Yeah, I did.

Smith: And?!?

Mathis: He said the team wasn’t entirely sure if they were going to bring me back. He said the pit bull incidents really having him questioning whether I have the right kind of character to be a Houston Texan.

Smith: You ignorant motherfucker! I told your stupid ass to chain those dogs up! Did you listen?! Fuck, no, you didn’t listen. You just let those mutts go out and maul some people. Brilliant. Asshole. Did you at least mention that you were a Pro Bowler not that long ago?

Mathis: Yo, you need to ease up off me a little bit. I thought I told you I wasn’t going to put up with that kind of tone anymore.

Smith: Fuck you, jack. Who the fuck do you think you are? Motherfuckin’ Ron O’Neal or somethin’? Talkin’ ’bout I better not talk to you like that.

Mathis: Look, bitch, seriously…I’m not going to put up with much more of this lip.

Smith: Whatchu gonna do, then? You ain’t gonna hit a pregnant woman. Besides…remember what happened last time you tried to pick a fight with me. You want your ass kicked again?

Mathis: Bitch, I told you I had a sinus infection. And I was kinda drunk. You can’t take me in a fair fight and you know it!  I’m in the NFL, goddamnit.

Smith: Yeah…that “F” stands for “Fragile As A Motherfucker.”

Mathis: I am leaving before you make me break my foot off in your ass.  (turns to leave, pauses, turns back) Hey, where the hell is my phone charger?  I need it–my Blackberry is dead.

Smith: Just like your career, apparently.

Mathis: Shut up. Just go get my charger. (shoves Smith)

Smith: Make me, bitch.

Mathis: That’s it.  It’s on now! (grabs Smith by the throat) Yeah! You like that?! You like…wait…what the fuck…LET GO OF MY NUTS!!! OW OW OW OW OW!!! FUUUUUCK!!!! (begins weeping)

Smith: Yeah! You think you’re bad?! You ain’t bad! You ain’t shit!! Get the fuck out of my house, bitch! (throws him out the front door, locks it behind him, heads back upstairs)

Will Demps: (from closet) Everything cool.

Smith: Yeah, baby. It’s cool. Come give mama some of the black throbbing Jesus before I call the police on his unemployed ass. I love me some Pro Bowler sex.

The Texans did a little house-cleaning yesterday, though nothing major, releasing:

Shawn Barber - Pancakes is reporting that Zach Thomas is being brought in by the Texans next week. Will he try to re-capture Barber’s magic from the 2007 signing? Or will it be yet another bullet point that signing old linebackers who’ve lost a step is actually a bad idea. Barber costed us over $2MM. Yay?

Jeb Putzier - I really thought he would be a special receiving TE in Denver, and when we signed him, I hoped he would break out for the Texans. Yeah, I was a little wrong.

Drew Hodgdon and Mike Flanagan - These moves shouldn’t be a surprise in that we signed Okobi and Eslinger. Flanagan, especially, does not personify the mobile C necessary in a zone-blocking scheme.

All I can say is: Zach Thomas better not be the only free agent we bring in over the next couple of weeks.

First, h/t to Eric for the reminder.

Oh, I am a stats geek. Back in the 70s - which few of you outside of stacy even know - I was a sabrematrician. That’s right, bitchez, I am a baseball geek, and I think there’s a HUGE progression to be made with football. So, let’s hit it.

At footballoutsiders.com, they have broken down offensive line play. And what do their vicious computers say? They say that, *gulp*, or offensive line don’t suck so much. In fact, we were the best team about getting positive yards from the run, and we were the 10th best team at avoiding the sack. There’s a lot to like from these stats. AND, when you consider that we did all this with Ron Dayne (and a cloud of meringue) as our leading rusher, then we look all the better.

Now, am I saying that we have the best offensive line evar!!!!~!~!~111~!? Well, no. Obviously, we could stand to use a little work. Tenth, after all, ain’t first. And if you ain’t first, you’re last (or something). I do, however, think it’s another data point in that we won’t be looking LT with our first pick (#18). Putting Alex Gibbs in control, alone, should put us up the scale a notch or two. If, and I pray to Barbaro’s Alp0-ed ass every day, our own Barbaro, Charles Spencer can come back, then we might bump up a couple more notches on the o-line rankings.

At this point, with a history of passing on offensive lineman early in the draft, and a focus on the system rather than the specific player, I again hypothesize that we do not go o-line with our pick. I just don’t see it, and yet, it doesn’t concern me. We will go defense, even if we trade down.

Allow me to end this post by saying that I am doing nothing more than self-gratification here - I have been married for 13 years, so I am used to it - and I could be wrong. And I oh-so-want to be proved right. But, you know, my ego ain’t that important, and I am mostly talking from the logical side of my brain. Anyway, it’s either this, or I can talk about all the super important people I talk to. Why, the other day, my mail-lady told me about…

For some unknown reason - and I think it has something to do with the half-assed coverage our beloved team normally receives - I have this irrational infatuation with how outsiders look at us. As one example, let’s look at the latest team needs via yahoo on rivals.com.

Running back? Sure. Cornerback? Well, like duh. Defensive end? Ummmm…..

I dunno. There is something a bit odd about Rivals listing DE as a Texans team need. And, see, here’s that weird little thing about Rivals that the Comicle can’t rival: Rivals actually takes pride in their reporting. So, if the Rivals sez it’s true, it must be, right? Well, in that self-gratification kinda way, they nailed that sucker!

Look, let’s be honest here. Will Smithiakibbs take a RB in the first? Extremely doubtful. I simply don’t see the team taking a RB with #18 with the new system in place and a whole host of RBs coming out this year. LT? Yeah, I don’t think so. I mean, if you took George Foster, would you take another T in the first so soon? Talk about jilted dude syndrome. CB? That’s a maybe. I still think that the team look at CBs via FA, and the CB talent this year in the draft - while not horrible - it won’t be elite by our pick. Talib? Maybe. I just don’t think so.

I’ve said for a while, no matter how irrationally, that we take a DE with our pick. I’m going to wait until after the combine as to who I think that might be, but, personally, I think that’s where we are going. However, I jumped on the Shake train a long time ago hoping that we will trade down to acquire a late first and late second. If that’s the case, all the better. Still, I think our first pick will be a DE.

If I am wrong, I will dance for your entertainment.

I know it’s been dead-ish around here. Apologies.

All should improve starting tomorrow. I think. Probably.

Until then, here are five topics to discuss:

• Has anyone ever done more in a shorter time to submarine his own trade value than Sage did at the end of the season?
• Andre Johnson–god, or mere demigod?
• If Ahman Green died in a forest, would anyone notice?
• Given that Andre Davis is a special teams ninja as well as a solid receiver, do you think Jacoby Jones admires Apostrohpe or secretly wishes him dead?
• Who weighs more: Ron Dayne or Rosie O’Donnell?

You wanna know why I love DeMeco Ryans?¹ It’s not because he sent me and my son all sorts of autographed stuff, even though he did. It is because he ALWAYS thinks about how he could have done better. And, unlike Travis Johnson, DeMeco plays so well day in and day out that often he is the only person who thinks he could have done better.

Take, for instance, the Pro Bowl.

The Texans’ first-time Pro Bowler and starting middle linebacker for the AFC had two passes defensed and a forced fumble in only the first quarter of Sunday’s game. He added two more tackles and another pass defensed later in the contest. [***]

On the NFC’s first play from scrimmage, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo executed a play-action fake that didn’t fool Ryans, who dropped into coverage and tipped a ball intended for Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald.

Later in the series, Ryans knocked down a pass intended for Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens in the red zone.

Asked about the two early pass breakups, Ryans lamented his missed opportunities.

“I should’ve had two interceptions,” he said. “I’m a little upset about that. I should’ve picked those passes off. I was kicking myself about that one. But it was good to actually put my hands on the ball, but I fell down. I wish I would’ve pulled them in, though.”

That’s right–in a game where nobody even pretends to give a damn, Ryans was upset with himself for not having two INTs. Defensive backs stand around and watch WRs fly past, but Ryans is in coverage on Fitzgerald and is mad he didn’t do more.

My middle linebacker is so much more awesome than your middle linebacker.

¹ In a totally NON-gay way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I suppose I should take the high road, but that is clearly not my style. So file this under “Things That Continue To Make Me Laugh.”

CHARLOTTE – It’s time to begin trimming the fat from NFL rosters.

The Carolina Panthers, like other teams around the league, are free to begin releasing unwanted players Monday morning as the NFL waiver wire picks up. The cuts will come for various reasons – age, overall ineffectiveness, injury concerns and high salary cap figures.

After finishing 7-9 in 2007 and failing to make the playoffs for a second straight season, the Panthers are likely to see plenty of turnover. As owner Jerry Richardson said last month, the Panthers can’t afford to have a “ho-hum” off-season.

That means the team will be looking to make changes. And to make room for the new, the Panthers in many cases will have to part with the old.

And while the cuts won’t all come Monday – and, in fact, some may takes weeks or months to make as the team makes certain it has a replacement in place – you can bet the Panthers roster will look very different when they report to training camp in July.

That said, here are a number of players who should be a little concerned with their job security over the off-season:

QB David Carr

Reasons to cut him: Carr looked frightened in the pocket and his teammates quickly lost all confidence in him. By the end of the season coach John Fox was even afraid to play Carr, demoting him to third string. With a cap figure of more than $4 million, keeping Carr would be, well… ludicrous.

Reasons to keep him: Can’t think of any.

My take: To me, this is easiest cut in franchise history. I would anticipate the team will waste little time parting with Carr.

Over/under on how long it takes before he starts blaming the players around him and suggesting that, had there been more talent, he would have succeeded?

Those of you tuning in this morning to read a pithy recap of the Pro Bowl will be disappointed. Not because I won’t be a smartass, but, rather, because I boycotted the game due to the egregious injustice that was the absence of Mario Williams.

In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted that I generally only watch about the first 20 minutes of the game anyway. Who the hell wants to see people NOT hit Tony Romo as hard as they possibly can? Certainly not I.

But, anyway…I refused to watch any of it yesterday. I’m sure the NFL is reeling from this loss. In lieu of Pro Bowl coverage, however, I present to you:

A Random Number Of Links That Have Dick To Do With Anything!

1. ***In news that I am sure all of you support (or at least any of you that I like), “Stupid beer laws” are going away around the country. Of course, there is still no sign that Arkansas is going to repeal the uber-ignorant Sunday sales ban that plagues me every weekend, again proving that this state hates me.
2. ***Speaking of the state that time forgot, it appears that there is LEPROSY in Northwest Arkansas. Now, the Department of Health says it is not an “outbreak,” as only nine people are infected, but still…LEPROSY? Seriously? I didn’t even think that existed anywhere in the U.S. Outside of Anna-Megan’s pants, of course.
3. ***The Dream Shake (aka The Only Blog Solely Dedicated To The Rockets That Is Worth Reading) thinks Stern picked Rasheed Wallace for the NBA All-Star game out of spite. I love this theory, if only because that is the type of shit I like to do as a parent. It’s good for the kids. And for ‘Sheed.
4. ***Official invite list for the 2008 Combine. I still say one of the events should be sending the guys to a strip club with $10,000 in ones.
5. ***The other day, BFD and I were invited to join a bigger website as football contributors. We considered it briefly, until we saw this caveat: “All submissions must comply to accepted decency standards. No obscenities, inflammatory or slanderous statements, or abusive comments will be tolerated and are grounds for immediate withdrawal of content, as well as withdrawal of writing/podcasting privileges, without reimbursement.” Umm…yeah…fuck that shit.