Existential crisis
Feb 3, 2008 Beer, Self-Referential Stuff, You'd like to think I was joking
Like I mentioned in the last post, I am BBQing today. (You can go back and re-read that post if you don’t believe me. I’ll wait.
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Ok? Moving on.) Anyway, one of the real joys of this chore is that it takes about 10 hours (minimum) to do correctly, meaning there is ample time to study the Old Testament drink beer.
Which brings me to my question: I cracked my first beer open at 5:45 AM; does this mean I am an overachiever or that I might have a problem?
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February 3rd, 2008 at 8:49 am
It means you’re committed to your craft, and for that I salute you. Now, we’ll have to talk about the whole pork v. brisket thing at some point, but this is a day for celebration and goodwill, not mocking of retarded Tennessee-style bbq.
At least tell me you’re using some of the beer to keep the meat from drying out…
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February 3rd, 2008 at 8:56 am
Now, I grew up on Texas-style BBQ and I actually prefer brisket to pulled pork. That said, I didn’t want to spend 16 hours to do a brisket properly and I don’t believe in half-assing anything when it comes to BBQ. Additionally, the people here do prefer pulled pork to brisket, which probably has to do with pigs being far more prevalent here than cattle. (I mean, there’s a reason burgers are so much cheaper in Texas, even at fast food chain restaurants.)
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As for drying out, if a person knows what he is doing (and I picked that gender-specific pronoun on purpose), it is very easy to cook a pork shoulder/butt without having to baste and without sacrificing moisture. The key, my friend, is injecting the butt the day before with a mixture of apple juice, apple cider vinegar, and a few other things.
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As to Memphis v. Texas-style, I will give the TN bunch credit for BBQing without the use of aluminum foil. Part of this is necessity–brisket is a shitty cut of beef–but part of it is also a willingness to put in the effort and not leave the meat unattended. Hell, you can do brisket without foil (and without beer) if you keep the fire at 225, don’t turn it but once, and keep it fat side up the whole time.
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Finally, if we are going to disparage any regional BBQ, it should be North Carolina, where they think burying a pig and dousing it with vinegar is palatable.
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God, I love to BBQ.
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February 3rd, 2008 at 9:19 am
everyone knows you can’t bbq without beer. you really didn’t even have a choice in the matter. as soon as you were elected (even if it was self appointed) as the person preparing said pork butt, you were automatically given a mandate to pop open that first beer as soon as the roast was pulled out of the fridge. you dont have a problem, it just can’t be done any other way. god bless you mdc, god bless.
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February 3rd, 2008 at 10:09 am
Look man, I’m Cuban, which means I regularly cook whole pigs. I also love smoking (uh… barbequeing smoking and… let’s move on). Anyway, this means I’ve spent many days up cooking dinner before the sun comes up. And I never once did it without beer. Good work my man. Enjoy the day.
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February 3rd, 2008 at 10:32 am
You guys are either brilliant or the most enabling sonsabitches ever. Either way, I love you all.
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February 3rd, 2008 at 11:17 am
You’re a Texan fan.
The Texans have mostly noon starts.
Ergo, morning drinking (and also BBQ consumption) is just a part of our normal game day experience.
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February 3rd, 2008 at 11:21 am
My personal opinion is that you started too late, if I was going to be BBQ-ing all day I would just start before I went to bed and then tape my next beer to my hand so I wouldn’t have to waste all that time getting up and going to the fridge. I would have to say that you have made the right decision but I still say you wasted time writing when you could have been drinking.
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February 3rd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Whether there’s beer in the sauce, or you’re the one on the sauce, it’s an absolutely critical element of any bbq. Because if you don’t have a hangover the next day and a lingering mesquite smell in your nostrils for three days, you’re doing something wrong.
Don’t think of us as enablers. We’re more like cheerleaders of debauchery.
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February 4th, 2008 at 1:14 am
What a game! That was a really exciting 4th quarter. By the way, as someone who will one day have a Ph.D. in OT, I love to read it WHILE drinking a nice Guinness! Do you like dark beers?
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February 4th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Matt,
You’re not a problem… You’re a perfectionist.
Hope it went well. And by “well” I mean “better than your prediction of the game.”
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February 4th, 2008 at 9:13 am
@Triple. I do love the dark beers.
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@beef: Both the BBQ and the drinking turned out very well. Not lie they could have been worse than my prediction.
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February 4th, 2008 at 10:18 am
If drinking pre-6am always nets results like THAT, than I’m all for it! I’m excited about eating BBQ leftovers for lunch today. Great par-tay, my man!
What’s really sticking with me today re: The Game:
Belichick’s an important guy and everything, but I wasn’t aware that the league had given him the authority to decide when games end.
There’s time left on the clock, his team’s been humbled, outplayed, and lost their chance at history…and Bill Belichick doesn’t have the stomach to sit there and absorb the pain until the clock read 0:00. What a classless asshole.
Going and hiding when he lost? That’s unsportsmanlike at best, disrespectful at least, and at worst, it makes him a big pussy. Most importantly, your opponent deserves more respect than that. You can imagine how the media would’ve portrayed it if “bad boy” Randy Moss had bailed early. There shouldn’t be a double-standard, especially not for this “great” leader of men.
Rumors that I’m wicked pissed about the Boston Globe’s report that Spygate actually started back before the Pats’ upset of my Rams in the ‘02 Super Bowl are true. F*@# that guy. WHAT A CHOKE, Belicheat.
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February 4th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Matt, no, you are not that drunk - Elisha Manning DID in fact win the game. Or have I not yet come down from that hit of acid I took during Tom Petty’s show?
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February 5th, 2008 at 2:02 am
All it means is… wait - what reason is there in the UNIVERSE to be up that early on a Sunday?
(unless you just never went to bed… then I would hope instead of beer, you’d roll with crack. bbq and crack go surprisingly well together - and don’t get me started on Houston crack vs. Memphis crack)