Ladies and gentleman, meet my new Petey Faggins
Mar 1, 2008 2008 Draft, 2008 Season, Anger, Beer, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Dunta Robinson, Faggination, Fuck, Fuck the Cowboys, You remind me of ____, You'd like to think I was joking
According to Pancakes, the Texans have signed the execrable Jacques Reeves. My favorite line of the article:
At 5-11, 188 pounds, the 25-year-old Reeves is the veteran cornerback the Texans targeted.
W.T.F? Are you kidding me? Well, at least he adds this:
They’re still going to draft a cornerback, maybe two, and they might sign another veteran.
Ya think? And if Reeves really was that key veteran CB, why would we need to go out and sign another half dozen players?
I went to see what Tim had to say, and that guy could make lemonade out of a gallon of goat piss. Alas, I am not similarly gifted. I’m more the guy who sits on his porch and throws rakes at squirrels, yelling “Get off my lawn!” Kids, of course, get ice picks.
Because I get this perverse enjoyment from watching the Cowboys suck, I openly rooted for teams to throw against Reeves as he reminded me of DGDB&D Hall of Famer Petey Faggins. This was, and will be, a poor signing, and I feel like we have to take a CB with #18 in order to simply keep Reeves off the field. I just don’t think we have a choice now. But, luckily, our new Texan who’ll resemble a Molotov cocktail will cost only $4MM/year.
Where’s my rubbing alcohol? I could really use a drink.
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March 1st, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Sigh.
Why? Why not just start some league-minimum scrub instead and use that precious cap room for Antoine Odom or maybe bringing Demps back?
This front office knows how to draft, I’ll give them that, but they’ve really dropped the ball on free agency.
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March 2nd, 2008 at 12:39 am
Well the front office may have dropped the ball, but at least they had it to begin with, Cape Casserole never knew where (if they knew WHAT) it was. I agree though, Reeves is Petey Lite basically, I’ll never forget his eating dirt when Daniels threw that dubious lil juke move on him in Pre-Season.
If Reeves was actually a real solid CB he’dve been starting for the Cowpukes by at least his 2nd season considering their “top CBs” are Anthony Henry and Terence Newman, neither of which area really all that spectacular in my opinion.
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March 2nd, 2008 at 9:39 am
Eddie, I completely forgot about that (what can I say? I was pretty hammered for that game). You’d think there were some film reviews, people openly laughing at Molotov (my new nickname for Reeves, but I am still open to suggestions). You’d think we’d know. Damn.
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@nash: That’s exactly the problem. With the salary cap in place, the key is maximizing one’s resources. Pissing away $4MM/year on Molotov does not meet that goal. Sliding Manos de Piedras Demps to SS would be a good thing.
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March 2nd, 2008 at 12:28 pm
well…i’ve been doing my best to look for an underlying reason why we would make this move and pay this nimrod as much as we’re paying him. after reading this latest update on rotoworld….
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Jacques Reeves’ contract with the Texans is worth $20 million over five seasons, according to NFL Network.
We haven’t seen the guaranteed money, but this indicates he’ll probably be a starter until Dunta Robinson returns from his knee injury. Reeves has blazing speed, but is notorious for giving receivers tons of room underneath. There is no question he’s being overpaid if the deal isn’t backloaded.
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i have to think that ray rhodes had some kind of input in the decision to sign him. additionally, ray would have to have seen something in this kid that he thought he could work with. after all, he’s still young enough to be teachable. so called “blazing speed” at least gives ray something to work with. i know this is reaching but it’s the best i could come up with.
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March 2nd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
So, speaking of the Cowboys, I went to a friend’s house last night in Arlington and passed by the new Cowboys stadium and it reminded me of how much I hate the Cowboys. Just thought I’d let that be known.
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March 2nd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
According to the Dallas Morning News:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/spt/football/nfl/stories/030208dnsporeeves.2550f40.html
Texans told him he´d be a starter…
Sorry, I only read the DMN when I want to prove how
bad Pancakes and the Chron cover the Texans.
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March 2nd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Well it at least makes me feel better that the Saints overpaid Randall Gay.. when you look at his contract, and Reeves’ contract… oh wait. Gay signed for LESS guaranteed money than Reeves. *blows brains out*
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March 2nd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Huh. They told him he’d start, eh? Wow.
Now I’m scared.
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March 3rd, 2008 at 12:54 am
$8 million guaranteed for Reeves, oh well, at least they got Bentley (LB) for $4 million total (3yr. deal). The current front office sure knows how to get LBs and to some extent DLs on the cheap at least. I watched that clip from the pre-season game, and I don’t think it was actually Reeves, but it doesn’t matter cuz he did get burned in that game for a TD, by Jacoby I think, in the back corner of the endzone. I think I’ve had it dwelling on that, now that he’s on our team, lol.
Hopefully Reeves plays well enough this season to at least convince Smithiak to cut Petey, and even if next season he goes halfway before he’s on IR he’ll have his $8 million guaranteed and we can cut him at no extra charge. I will say that at least the front office does a good job at tryin to get the “dead money” taken care of early in the contracts, instead of spreadin’ it out everywhere like Cape Casserole did with Gary Walker and Seth Payne.
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March 3rd, 2008 at 9:25 am
be happy - if nothing else this gives you new material for the next season.
I mean, as much as I want the Rockets to cut/waive/trade/kill Rafer Alston - if he leaves the team, who would I pick on in my own blog?!?!
You need a new Petey!
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March 3rd, 2008 at 10:45 am
My guess is that they were looking for a young guy with some significant starting experience, just in case we HAD to lean on him as the starter this year. I think Reeves has 13 or so games as a starter, so that’s not bad, but who else was really out there for us? I guess i haven’t been jaded enough by Smithiak to shit on this deal yet. And for those of you who feel you HAVE BEEN, was it all in the Ahman deal, or do you percieve ALL their moves to be Casserly-esque?
You know, SOME PEOPLE might call you “whiners.”
And as a follow-up, were you shitting on the Ahman signing when he looked pretty effin’ solid in pre-season last year? They guy got hurt in week 1, and it affected him the whole year. It’s not HIS fault Domanick Davis died and Chris Taylor’s year ended in camp, and all we had in the cupboard was Ronnie McDayne.
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March 3rd, 2008 at 1:28 pm
@beef: if you think that’s whining, you definitely don’t have kids. Also, I didn’t agree with the Green signing, either, which was actually an easier call. The thing is, one can find RB talent deep in the draft (Ahmad Bradshaw, for example) as opposed to hoping a 32-yo RB who’s having injury issues is going to be productive and healthy.
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There’s a great chance that Reeves will be healthier and better than Green, but it doesn’t mean I’m not going to criticize a move I really, really disagree with. Plus, when you consider that salary cap management is a zero-sum game, the signing hurts all the more.
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March 3rd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
@bfd: I will agree with you that neither (Green and now Reeves) was a “best case scenario” signing. more like a “fingers crossed until we figure something else out” deal. But, we couldn’t take the risk of heading to the draft last year with nothing but Dayne and Taylor, then hoping we’d strike it gold with an Ahmad Bradshaw. The same way that we couldn’t go into this April’s draft with Bennett as the only CB with starting experience. The bottom line is that Casserly screwed us, not only with the cap disasters, but we have little/no depth anywhere to speak of. THAT’S why we have to reach for potential starters in FA. Nobody likes it, but that’s the team we’ve got now. If Smithiak keep their draft shit right, we may never have to worry about it again. Nature of the beast, I rectum.
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March 3rd, 2008 at 4:38 pm
[...] he is probably better than what they currently have in the secondary. DGDB&D calls him “my new Petey Faggins,” (not a good thing, so yeah, I’m going to have to warn about bad language in that last [...]
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March 11th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
[...] I am willing to take a chance with salaries like that, especially in lieu of our signing Petey Faggins, Jr. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that parts of the Texans nation are developing a [...]
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