Texans fans: The Giants luv you! {hugs}

This post is about four hours late this morning. Doesn’t my employer know that work time is blog time? DAMMIT! Anyway, work sucks today, so sorry for the delay.

The big news of the morning is, of course, that the New York Giants loves them some Mr. Mittens. The mere fact that the Giants want to keep Mittens in the news is proof that *the God of your choice* loves us and wants us to drink more rubbing alcohol beer! The danger is that Mittens actually beats the monstrous Jared Lorenzen (that’s Shake on the left), and Jared simply pops Carr into his mouth like the worm from a bad bottle of Mezcal. Obviously, our nation would grieve for days after the loss of someone of Mittens’ stature, but I don’t think Mittens has much of a chance of winning the backup job. (original link courtesy from profootballtalk.com)

If that isn’t enough to make you swoon, then how about signing Pacman Jones (again from PFT):

If Titans CB Pacman Jones is reinstated and traded to another team, the new team would be on the hook for base salaries of $1.29 million in 2008, $1.74 million in 2009, and $2.19 million in 2010.

Yeah, I am willing to take a chance with salaries like that, especially in lieu of our signing Petey Faggins, Jr. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that parts of the Texans nation are developing a nice little man-crush on Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (ADF, Matt, me, I’m looking at you). Sadly, I don’t think he’ll be there for #18, and it looks like the Ravens are zeroing in on Leodis McKelvin with their pick.

I’m neither inherently a risk-taker, nor am I risk averse. I am, however, optimistic that things would work for Pacman in Houston, but I’ve got nothing to base that on other than my formidable gut.

Finally, and a little off-topic, but it looks like the Stros’ Kaz Matsui has a little pain in the ass. This is ironic, of course, because watching him play this year will cause pain to all our asses.

Crap. Back to work. “Clean your windshield, sir?”

9 Responses to “Texans fans: The Giants luv you! {hugs}”

  1. Eric
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    Next Broadway show: “Manhattan Smitten with Mittens” or “David Rocked Again By Giant Goliath”.
    Does Matsui’s “problems” go north and south or east to west?

    Shake that money tree!!


  2. Football » Texans fans: The Giants luv you! {hugs}
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    [...] bigfatdrunk wrote a fantastic post today on “Texans fans: The Giants luv you! {hugs}”Here’s ONLY a quick extractThe big news of the morning is, of course, that the New York Giants loves them some Mr. Mittens. The mere fact that the Giants want to keep Mittens in the news is proof that *the God of your choice* loves us and wants us to drink more … [...]


  3. bigfatdrunk
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    Eric, I’ll keep shaking if you stop throwing those nickels at me. They hurt!


  4. Eric
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    Damn! Those were nickels!!??? I hope I get some change back!

    As “Cool-hand Luke” would say, “just shaking the bush boss, just shaking the bush”.


  5. Matt
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    Astros news?! Was that just to light a fire under my ass to get the “other place” designed?


  6. AstronautDinosaurFiretruck
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    As far as I see it we have two options: send some Emperor’s Club ladies The Rog’s way to grease the wheels of reinstatement or start vicious rumors about DRC’s past so that he will fall to us.

    Speaking of which, did you know that Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie once beat a kitten to death with another kitten?


  7. bigfatdrunk
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    Matt, do you ever think I could turn down a story about anal fissures? I thought you knew me better. *stomps foot and makes pouty face*

    Strangely enough, I did hear about that, ADF. In fact, he’s personally responsible for the extinction of unicorns, AND he’s the one who canceled Firefly. Oh, and he was Michael Vick’s “enforcer.”


  8. Shake
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    You’re jealous of my watch, aren’t you.


  9. bigfatdrunk
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    No, but I am jealous of your t-shirt. I amz l33t h@><><0r.