Duane Brown: BFD’s Second Take: Coyote Ugly?
Apr 27, 2008 2008 Draft, 2008 Season, Alex Gibbs, BFD's Real Doll, Duane Brown as Eliza Doolittle, You remind me of ____, You'd like to think I was joking
I’ve had a bit of a cold over the past couple of days, and it’s been a bear to sleep. Top it off with a huge line of storms that hit at about 5:30, and I’m running on little sleep.
So, in that time, I’ve been thinking about Duane Brown, football, and sweaty men in tight pants in general. After looking at the other comments, I think a lot of us having been thinking about large men with big, manly hands…and have come to fairly similar conclusions. Here’s my take:
I woke up next to Duane this morning, and I didn’t have a case of coyote ugly. I looked over at Duane and thought to myself, “You know, he ain’t bad. He’s not a cheerleader, he’s not the hottie drill team chick….he’s kinda like the homely looking Debate Club girl, not at all as in Not Another Teen Movie, though.”
Now, we had a good time, but I’m not quite ready to meet his parents yet. Frankly, he’s going to have to work on a few things to win me over completely, such as creating holes, getting to attack points, getting stronger, and washing windows - you know, the usual stuff.
Now, the last time Alex Gibbs set somebody up in the first round with a LT, it was George Foster. Foster was also a “terrific athlete” who was supposed to be all that and a bag of Cheetos. Sure, we can’t control the fact that he ate all that, the bag of Cheetos, and the bag, but it still turned out to be a bust of a pick. Alex seems to be a bit better at the whole “My Fair Lady” thing, taking lumps of clay and molding them into gold. Matt Lepsis, who was signed as an UDFA by the Broncos, is a perfect example.
We did get 3rd and 6th round picks to make up for trading back. And, heck, I would be elated to take Jamaal-American Charles with one of 3rd rounders to bring in for the occasional menage-a-trois to spice up the marriage a bit.
One additional comment: Somebody mentioned (too lazy to look, sorry!) that this was like 2006 all over again. I respectfully disagree. I think there was consensus that we wanted a LT, just not one so damn early, especially considering we passed on Rashard Mendenhall, a bunch of DEs, and other schwag on the way through.
Don’t worry, Duane: I’ll call you in the morning. I know some people - and they apparent already really like you, as well - that can fix you up to make me proud to be in a long-term relationship with you. It’s a little more maintenance than I had hoped, but I’ll give it a chance to work.
{hugs and kisses},
bfd
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April 27th, 2008 at 8:50 am
At least we’re not Titan fans, or Satan would have drafted Brian Brohm and Mario Manningham, just to ensure that we didn’t touch a position of need.
Plus Dallas fans can’t be too happy with JJ going all homerific on them and then trading up to draft a corner AFTER TRADING FOR PACMAN JONES! I know JJ loves to piss off Texans fans more than he likes to make his own team happy, but that was a little insane.
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April 27th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Crap, it took me so long to type this up, I missed a pick: Antwaun Molden. Jamaal got snatched up by KC.
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April 27th, 2008 at 8:56 am
I hate ESPN, but I like the fact that Duane is not even one of the 5 options for “Most Questionable Pick of the 1st Round”.
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April 27th, 2008 at 9:01 am
Surprisingly enough, the only media figure i’ve seen really lay into the pick was Bucky Brooks from SI, and I know he’s a retard. I think the msm is scared of attacking the Texans draft picks so soon after the Mario debacle.
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April 27th, 2008 at 9:03 am
On a side note, what is the Texans obsession with picking up guys who spell their name wrong? Dunta, Chaun, and now Antwaun? Maybe they’re on to something here.
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April 27th, 2008 at 9:15 am
I am 100% ok with Steve Slaton. Who we just took.
I am more curious about Antwaun Molden - who scouts projected as a 7th round pick.
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April 27th, 2008 at 9:16 am
@ DT: I saw quite a few mocks w/ Molden in the 3rd or 4th.
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April 27th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Slaton’s gonna be fun to watch, that’s for sure. Looks like another year of RB by committee, though. I don’t see anyone on the roster capable of being an every-down back.
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April 27th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
@Demecoshallinherittheearth
You know, after reading all the stuff to catch up on what I missed, I’m real happy with the draft. We hit the areas of need and the team will improve. Good stuff all around.
you funny man! I like the name thing…we joked about it a year ago…funny stuff! Bfd…whatcha gotta say…you my bitch in round one.
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April 27th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Fuck, I’ve never hated losing so much.