A post wherein Titans fans send emails and comments about how great Vince is and how I am a jealous dumbass.
May 27, 2008 2006 Draft, Overexposure, Overrated, Vince Young can't read this post, Vinsanity
Boo fucking hoo.
Apparently, Vince Young is a huge pussy was so bummed about life in the NFL that he nearly quit after his first season.
I really thought long and hard about it,” Young said on Thursday after practice. “There was so much going on with my family. It was crazy being an NFL quarterback. It wasn’t fun anymore. All of the fun was out of it. All of the excitement was gone. All I was doing was worrying about things.
So what brought him out of this funk you ask? His teammates. And God.
My teammates helped lift me out of it. I prayed really hard. And I began to focus on God’s calling for me. Play football. Be a role model.
Hey, far be it from me to say whether God exists or opine on whether he really gives a shit about athletes qua athletes, BUT I am reasonably sure that anyone whom God chose to be a QB would post a TD-INT ratio of better than 9-17. I mean, Kurt Warner was sacking groceries and God told him to be a QB and he put up 41 TDs and 13 picks. Jon Kitna loves him some Jesus and even he can post a near 1:1 TD:INT ratio. Yessir, God’s QBs tend to put up respectable (or better) QB numbers.
Long story short, Vince, I think you might have misheard God. Maybe he said your were supposed to be a cornerback. Those sound pretty similar when you are hammered on Patron.
(click arrow to reply)
May 27th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
However, in the old testament God shows a predilection for taking people who were otherwise unfit for the job and making that square peg fit in that round hole. To God with a hammer, a screw is just a nail that hasn’t been filed down yet.
(click arrow to reply)
May 27th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
And if anyone knows how to raise completion percentages a few notches, it is old man Crumpler.
Also, unheralded pick up Mike Williams is sure to make an impa….hahahahahahhahahahaa…shit, I almost got through that with a straight face.
(click arrow to reply)
May 27th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
@Dallas Texan: I don’t “LOL” too often, but I did on your post. Nicely played.
-
And if Crumpler’s knees hold up at all, I’ll be shocked. Wasn’t Bo Scaife’s knees bad enough for the team already? Sheesh.
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 7:21 am
This whole story reeks of, “Hey – let’s get past the whole shirtless dance party and start focusing on what’s important here – ME. Believe it or not, yall almost lost me. Keep talking shit about me and my topless man-dancing and I might be gone for good…”
-
What a fag.
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Here’s the timeline:
He parties with his Longhorn friends, drinking Patron out of a bottle, shirtless, but wearing a huge cross necklace. Because role models always wear a symbol of Christianity when the get their drink on.
He apologizes not for the partying but for getting pictures taken of him. He guesses someone pay for the pictures, which wasn’t true. Duh, you are a public figure, you are going to get your picture taken.
He has an interview with an NFL.com reporter, saying he almost quit after his first season for family reasons not mentioned. If Titan fans aren’t freaking over that, they are living in a land of delusion. I cannot remember something stranger in the NFL than a starting QB wanting to quit after being named OROY. It makes Ricky’s helmet interviews look sane.
Then for his birthday party, he has 6 parties in 4 days in Houston. Lots of pictures he knew about because he posed for them.
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 8:09 am
I’m a huge fan of plagiarism. While looking at Steve Campbell’s recent blog entry on VY’s existential crisis, tucked among the usual cadre of VY fetishists was this little gem, created by a commenter named Buckeye Ray:
Look people, Vince was depressed his first year. The person that completes him, broke up with him for being drafted by the wrong team and moving too far away. And now look at him at the bar with all those shirtless men. Don’t blame Vince, blame Richard Justice for not trying to find a newspaper job in Nashville!!!
Posted by: Buckeye Ray at May 28, 2008 01:30 AM
I don’t know this Ray fellow, but I like him.
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 8:11 am
It’s a good thing God said his calling was football, and not Quantum Physics. I’m not sure there’s enough in ole Radio’s noggin to fulfil that calling.
Here’s to him committing to scoring TD’s (at an equal, or only slightly better pace than he throws picks)!
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 8:20 am
@WF4F: This Ray fellow sounds like someone we could all hang out with. Unless, of course, the “Buckeye” refers to an OSU allegiance, in which case I would have to hate him out of principle. It’s hard being a fan sometimes.
@beef: There’s not enough in his noggin to fulfill a calling of “learn to read.”
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 9:50 am
I’m ashamed Buckeye Ray beat me to a Little Dickie Justice reference. I feel much shame.
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 11:53 am
@Matt: I like to think that dislike VY and his cuddle buddy Justice can bring Buckeyes and Longhorns together. Perhaps they can take their act to the Middle East. Hmm… maybe that’s why Radio wanted to retire…
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Matt’s a longhorn too? I thought BFD was the only blogger here I had to remember not to shower with.
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I believe Steph is a longhorn grad? You kicking her out of this “roman bath” also?
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Oh, HELL no, I am not a Longhorn. I overpaid to go to a small Jesuit school because Catholic chicks put out like whoa. (Or something like that.)
-
I am, however, a die-hard Michigan fan and, thus, all Ohio State players, fans, and alums are worthless pieces of human trash that aren’t even fit to live in Oklahoma.
-
In short, feel free to shower with me. I mean…wait.
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
we should compile a list of all of God’s QBs… for I think Vince would be the “which of these doesn’t belong with the others” names:
“Kurt Warner”
Jon Kitna
Mark Brunell
… others?
(click arrow to reply)
May 28th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
@grungedave
David Carr
Jake Delholme
Trent Dilfer maybe?
(click arrow to reply)
May 29th, 2008 at 8:33 am
@Eric: Nah, if Steph went there, that was four years of her not getting attention from boys, save for a weekend trip to San Marcos. The same reason parents have been sending their virgin daughters to Baylor for years. Cutting the odds. Though, be warned, parents… not all of Waco is hallowed Baylor ground! (insert evil laugh and moustache twist here)
(click arrow to reply)
May 30th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Mustache Twist vs Beard Stroke
-
The ultimate battle of masculine non-verbal cues.
(click arrow to reply)
May 30th, 2008 at 8:18 am
I prefer “popping of knuckles and neck in anticipation of a physical scrap.”
(click arrow to reply)
May 30th, 2008 at 8:59 am
@Matt: Well, if you’re going there… What about “the step-dance move that a breakdancer does in the club when he/she wants to ‘battle’ an opposing breakdancer?” THAT shows onions, my friend.
(click arrow to reply)
May 30th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Hmm…if you pulled that move, while twirling your mustache and popping your neck, would that make you the baddest man on the planet? Or just really gay?
(click arrow to reply)
May 30th, 2008 at 11:26 am
You could always go knuckle to the nostril, snot rocket – ala Chong Li (Bolo) in Bloodsport.
(click arrow to reply)
May 30th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Oh, I forgot to mention that the moustache I’m twirling is made out of DeJesus’ armpit hair.
Game. Set. Match.