Kickoff
Jun 18, 2008 Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, Bad Idea Jeans, Inanity, Kickoff, Self-Referential Stuff
Is this thing on? I’ll be damned if I can find any Texans news worth linking to this morning. We have officially hit the summer doldrums, aka “the time of year when we are forced to talk to family.” Damn. Because there is no news, I am just going to link to a bunch of random funny stuff.
Like the real thing, only smarter. You know what you need? A Dom Capers bobblehead doll. The description doesn’t say whether the doll comes with an inability to coach offense, but it seems so life-like I assume it would have to. 
Not so much funny, as awesome. Sticking with the bobbleheads for a second, here is an Andre Johnson Draft Day ‘head. I’ve never even seen this before. Of course, it’s going for $54.99, so it ain’t cheap, but nothing good ever is.
Ice, Ice Baby. I know I’ve linked to this once before, but MJD’s take on David Carr being “too cool to QB” still makes me laugh.
Wasn’t me. Brandon Jones, another WR that Vince Young has little use for, was arrested for trying to take a gun through airport security. Said the flanker, “uh, yeah…I, um, grabbed the wrong bag. I meant to grab my suitcase and, instead, grabbed the bag where I haphazardly keep my LOADED firearms.”
Parting shot. My wife, after reading the long post on the 4-3: “You make football sound like it takes thought to play it. I read the first two paragraphs, but the rest are sounding like the teacher in a Peanuts cartoon.”
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June 18th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Florio at PFT, wrote a column for Sporting News about player’s on the bubble:
http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=424496
It appears two “can’t miss” Cali player’s appear on the radar,
2. Reggie Bush, running back, Saints. Bush deserves credit for taking football more seriously as he prepares for his third season. But will showing up for most of the offseason workouts and generally caring more about the game allow him to suddenly run circles around NFL defensive backs, just like he made Fresno State defenders look like blindfolded schoolchildren with their shoes tied together?
This isn’t about desire; it’s about ability. In two full years, Bush simply hasn’t been the guy that everyone thought he’d be. Thus, the pressure in this case comes primarily from Bush himself; the rest of us already know that he’s not the next Gale Sayers. Heck, Reggie isn’t even the current Maurice Jones-Drew.
And:
4. Matt Leinart, quarterback, Cardinals. The 2004 Heisman winner raised red flags when he opted to spend another season at USC. The thinking was that a guy who craved playing NFL football wouldn’t delay his entry to the highest level of the game for a year so he could milk his role as big man on campus. Since joining the Cardinals in 2006 as the tenth overall pick in the draft, Leinart has done little to remove doubts about his desire.
He became the starter in 2007, but new coach Ken Whisenhunt opted to yank him out of the game whenever things got dicey, turning to cagey veteran Kurt Warner, who’d clean up the mess before returning to the bench. The approach was generally working — even though Leinart didn’t like it — until Leinart suffered a season-ending collarbone injury.
This year, the pressure is on. If Leinart can’t perform, or if he can’t stay healthy, Whisenhunt (who wasn’t there when Leinart was drafted) will likely begin lobbying aggressively for the ability to bring in his own guy.
Len Whale White’s not on the list cause he’s been wiping out the buffet lines across TN.
I think a certain no.# 10 is missing from the list?
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June 18th, 2008 at 9:12 am
@matt: So, how is your wife’s eye this morning? I hope you didn’t beat her too badly.
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June 18th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I agree with your wife about the 4-3 post. I wanted to read it closely, but the Peanuts teacher is a good analogy for what was going through my brain towards the end. The longass quote from a previous post didn’t help matters.
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June 18th, 2008 at 10:38 am
I couldn’t make it through in one shot. I had to stop and drink a beer half way through. That seriously irritated my coworkers.
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June 18th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I will take responsibility for that mjd blast. I sent him that link and begged him to write about it. Seriously.
/hopes that mjd becomes new Deadspin editor because he is my favorite read.
//won’t likely happen because I want it.
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June 18th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
@ Steph: I vote for MJD as well.
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@ Powers-that-be: I’d take the D’spin job in a motherfucking heartbeat. For real. Call me. (Foomey has the number.)
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June 18th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
@Steph I would love to see MJD at Deadspin. I miss his long posts at Fanhouse. It just isn’t the same reading the short blurbs at Yahoo. Also, I worry about his smorgabord (I know I butchered that spelling), will he be able to continue it this year?
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June 18th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
@Matt: Just when did I get your “sacred” number? Damn…I would’ve been phone-stalking you already!
I have to agree with your wife, except I started to hear Stacy calling me a “filthy whore”, and singing “Reunited, and it feels so good” in my head. You’ll have to ask him about THAT story. It all started with, the now infamous, meeting BFD.