Top 5 Worst Decisions By Texans Brass
Jun 20, 2008 2002 Draft, 2004 Draft, Anger, Awfulness, Bad Idea Jeans, Sandy Vag, Top 5, Travis Johnson is a piece of shit, Tremendous Busts
As we continue channeling my inner Rob Gordon, we turn to another not-so-pleasant list of memories: the top 5 all-time front office fuck-ups. I promise to move on to something positive at some point, but that ain’t today, bitches.
(H/T to Dave for the topic idea.)
5. Signing Todd Wade. In 2004, we gave this turd a 6-year, $30MM contract with $10MM signing bonus. Over the next two seasons, he received just over $12MM in salary and bonuses. In that same timeframe, he contributed roughly $48 worth of actual quality gameplay.
4. Refusing to employ a 3-4 NT in a 3-4 Defense. You know, I liked Seth Payne. You probably liked Seth Payne. Seth Payne was a seemingly nice dude and he worked his ass off. In a 4-3, defense, that kind of attitude and work ethic might have paid big dividends. In a 3-4, when you are only 303 lbs, that kind of effort is necessary to stay afloat. Sam Adams, Casey Hampton, Jamal Williams–these are 3-4 NTs. Seth Payne was not, yet we never ever got one, despite running that D for 4+ years. I hate you Dom Capers.
3. Trading back to take Travis Johnson over Derrick Johnson. Man…just…I mean…FUCK. Derrick Johnson was the dude I wanted most in that draft, he was sitting RIGHT THERE, and we decide to say, “nah, fuck it, let’s take this other Johnson.” Great. And then that Other Johnson turns out to be a retard dickhead who hasn’t lived up to his potential at all. AWESOME. HAPPY DAYS. I’M MOVING ON BEFORE SOMEONE DIES.
2. The David Carr Experience. I had about three different, Carr-specific decisions for this list, but I figured I’d just lump them together and give him the penultimate place on this list. Let’s see–passing over Julius Peppers–who was an obvious monster–to take a Fresno State pretty boy with a meddling daddy? Letting him “play” for five seasons, despite a mountain of evidence piling up that he was either too shell-shocked or too shitty to play the position? Watching him seem oblivious to his own shittiness and grin like a retard even after losses? Keeping him around for an additional $8MM roster bonus as some sort of reclamation project for Kubiak? Wow, Dave. Thanks for the memories. May you burn in hell.
1. Trading for Phillip Buchanon. On the surface, for a moment or three, this seemed like a decent move by the Texans. I mean, the pricetag was high (a 2d and a 3d), but Buchanon had shown the ability to be a top-flight corner, and now we had him. Of course, any love and admiration for P.Buch evaporated like a wet fart in August once he took the field and displayed a complete inability to tackle anyone. At all. Ever. I still have nightmares of his attempted “tackle” against Pittsburgh.
Also receiving votes: The continued employment of Petey Faggins, the cost of Jason Babin, throwing multiyear money at Ahman Green, and 94% of the other decisions made by Casserly/Capers
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June 20th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Oh man, I remember being so mad in that draft. I wanted Derrick Johnson, but I guess they freaked out because everyone and their momma was drafting DTs that year.
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June 20th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
The no.#1 fuck up was when Bob McNair drafted Charley C”ass”erley and Dumb Caper to run the show! Mr. Mittens is a close 2nd…
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June 20th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I’d like to fault McNair for Casserly/Capers but how was he supposed to know they sucked monkey scrote?
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As for Babin, you know I actually like Babin and was a little sad they traded him. I mean, as long as they were going to use him in situational pass rush only. But what they gave up to get him almost landed him here and put him on the bust list.
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Back to your 4-3 post, seems like a few screens or play-actions would keep that style of defense honest. Was Indy’s runs to the outside part of what helped them dominate that game? Is that defensive style susceptible to those kinds of plays?
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June 20th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Didn´t we miss out on Jamaal Brown when we took the Teej as well? What a bitching that was. He´d better step it up this season. To his credit though, he was drafted while we still ran the 3-4, and we switched to 4-3 just one year after that.
And for some reason the Buchanan thing doesn´t phase me at all. I think that might have been the season that I really gave up on the Texans before the season even started. The Ahman Green signing pisses me off though. Depending on how much production (or lack thereof) we get out of him this year, he´ll be in the running. I believe you´ve already calculated his “dollars per carry”.
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June 20th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
In complete agreement that trading for Buchanon was the worst field personnel decision made by the franchise, with one exception: The “P” in “P-Buc” stands for “Pathetic,” “Putrid,” or “Phillip,” not “Patrick.”
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June 20th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Oops. Brain fart.
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June 20th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
@ Buck: Screens and play actions don’t really do much to slow it down because both of them, especially the play action, is designed to trip up a read-and-react system. If you are coming forward at the snap, you’re not giving much credence to the fake handoff so much as just getting into the backfield with the first guy hitting the RB and the rest continuing to the QB. As for screens, there will almost always be a man assigned either to the RB or to the zone where the screen is thrown, plus your MLB will be immediately freed and will come to help, as will the safety. The screen could work for a few yards if it was a real quick toss and the guy beat his coverage, but it won’t consistently beat it.
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Indy was able to beat Philly, at least in the most recent game, because their O-line was straight blowing people up at the point of attack and Addai went off. It happens, but not often. In the earlier meeting, if I am remembering correctly (and I really should double-check this), I think the defense went to zone coverage early and was a step slow getting to Manning, so he picked them apart, plus Marvin got free in man coverage a couple times. Like I said, I need to double-check, but that is my recollection of the game.
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June 20th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Lee and I were at the KC game when Buchanon basically quit on the team (and the season). It was sad to see. What a p*ssy.
and on a sidenote… what a great idea for a blog post topic. Just pure brilliance, I must say.
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June 20th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
tough to call. For every Drew Henson or Andre3K, there are 3 or 4 Buchanon’s. Your list is pretty solid though.
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June 20th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
In this “looking back” post, I was looking at the “worst” draft picks/owner picks. I’m sure that Ryan Leaf looked great to many teams and GM’s and many Texans fan jumped with GLEE when David Carr was chosen. Well, we all know how those decisions panned out…
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June 20th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Im actually happy we took Trav. Fake conversations with real people wouldn’t be as interesting without him.
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June 20th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
@ Jordan: That’s a terrific point, actually. Viva Trav, I guess.
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June 25th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Lee and I were at the KC game when Buchanon basically quit on the team (and the season). It was sad to see. What a p*ssy.
and on a sidenote… what a great idea for a blog post topic. Just pure brilliance, I must say.
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It was horrendous, we both called it as soon as it happened, it was truly sad. He also had his whole posse there earlier in the season and it was the sadest bunch of schmucks you’ve ever seen (Miami game? Probably way off there)
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June 26th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Wait, how did I not comment about the DJ no-pick? I still truly believe that guy is going to be a beast in the NFL