Top 5 Worst Defensive Texans
Jun 23, 2008 Awards, Awfulness, Frank Okam is an evil genius, Top 5, Travis Johnson is a piece of shit, Tremendous Busts
Back to the lists, bitches. You call it filler, I call it…well…filler. But that’s beside the point. This post was originally going to be Top 5 Worst Texans, regardless of position. After a short conversation with Tim, however, I quickly realized that there are, sadly, too many deserving players to narrow the list to five. The defensive guys come first here because we are all about defense in these parts. We’ll cover the offense tomorrow.
Note: The only requirement to be on this list was a minimum of 10 games started in a Texans uni. Thus, Boselli, Joppru, etc., are not eligible.
5. Cory Sears, DE. The fact that Sears started 12 games at LDE for the team in 2003 (also known as 3 B.M. (Before Mario)) should tell you all you need to know about the early Texans’ defensive line. He racked up an “impressive” 1 sack and 26 solo tackles. He also had one sack the previous season (4 B.M.) as a non-starter. And they say we didn’t have a pass rush???
4. Travis Johnson, DT. One career sack. One career INT. 58 solo tackles in three years. Roughly 30 personal fouls for blatant stupidity. About the only thing he’s got going for him is that the coaching staff is convinced that he will still live up to his draft status. Well, until he is officially supplanted by evil genius Frank Okam.
3. Phillip Buchanon, CB. Showtime’s failures have been chronicled here over the last week in these Top 5 lists, so there’s not much to add. Well, other than the fact that he tackled worse than any player we’ve ever had.
2. Matt Stevens, FS. Tim once relayed to me that he tried to name BRB “Shaking Matt Stevens,” but it was vetoed as being too obscure. It wouldn’t have been the least bit obscure to Texans fans, however, who still remember Matt Stevens as the poster child for blown coverage, failed tackles, and general shittiness. He apparently was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident, but, contrary to popular belief, this occurred after he left the Texans organization. (I’m going to Hell.)
1. DeMarcus “Petey” Faggins, CB. Wow…where to start? It’s not like Faggins suckiness in 2007 was a sudden change of course — he’d sucked badly enough in previous seasons that I spent most of last preseason screaming (in written form) that he should not be starting. Then came the Atlanta game. Ugh. I know the whole story of “he’s a pretty decent nickel corner” and, while that might have been true at one point, moving him back to nickel last year didn’t really help his play. Still, I wonder how true the idea that he was a good third corner is. He was playing with some pretty subpar secondaries throughout his days as NCB, so it’s just as likely that the QBs were picking on other players a lot of the time. Either way, Petey sucked at some level then, sucks horrifically now, and wins the honor of the Suckiest Suck to ever Suck. I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening.
Also receiving votes: Jerry DeLoach, Lewis Sanders, Marlon McCree.
**All stats courtesy of Pro Football Reference.


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June 23rd, 2008 at 7:39 pm
So you’re using jedi mind tricks on me right? By Worst Offensive Texans you really meant Worst Defensive Texans, right?
Damn you for being literate and logical. Fixed.
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June 23rd, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Mcree became a decent safety once he left the texans and Sanders is doing well, I think he signed with the pats. I dont blame them for sucking. I blame Dumb Capers for it.
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June 24th, 2008 at 6:52 am
There he is… the man who broke a dragon’s heart -
“The man who broke a dragon’s heart…”
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:40 am
I have to disagree with Travis Johnson. He’s probably more of a bust in the sense that he didn’t meet expectations of someone drafted at his position…even that doesn’t make him a bad player though. The fact that he wasn’t who a large portion of the fan base wanted shouldn’t factor into how he has played on the field. Yes he had some dumb penalties at the worst possible times last year, but he has been a solid player for us, especially last year. Outside of the sack numbers he was more consistent and a better all around player for us than Okoye. I expect that to change rapidly, but either way I don’t see how he’s even in the conversation for “worst defensive player” in Texans history…even though I think there is a decent shot that Okam takes his job at some point.
No other complaints other than I think time has softened the memory of just how bad Matt Stevens was….that or somewhere deep, deep down inside there is a very small slice of humanity that feels sorry for him that he got paralyzed and your giving him a break by not making him number 1. There was at least a time when Petey could be described as filling in admirably as a nickel corner. Matt Stevens had some cool tattoos….that is the best thing I can remember about him being on the field.
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June 24th, 2008 at 8:44 am
@ Papa: Johnson never gets to the QB when they let him play the one-gap tackle, yet he sucks balls when they put him as the two-gap (because he’s too small, which isn’t his fault per se, but still). He makes more stupid plays (late hits, etc) than he does good plays. He wasn’t consistent last year, either — he had some good weeks early in the season, but was playing like dog ass by the mid-point, then completely went to shit in the Colts game. We might have to agree to disagree on this, but to my eyes, Johnson has been above average for about 6 total games in his career and has been awful in far more than that.
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I think the Stevens/Petey thing has more to do with my hatred of Petey than a soft spot for Stevens. We could have tied them for #1, though, really.
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June 24th, 2008 at 9:09 am
@matt: We can just disagree.It’s not so much that I think he has been a great player, or honestly even good. It’s just I don’t think he’s bad enough to be on this list. I suppose I could do some research and come up with someone with enough starts with a higher level of suckitude….but I’m way to lazy for that.
It’s good to know you haven’t developed a conscience….wouldn’t want you to change who you are or anything.
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June 24th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Yeah, the starts threshold was one big reason Travis was included. Most of the really shitty players never made 10 starts. Thankfully.
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June 24th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I´m sort of for replacing TJ on this list as well, but I can´t really think of anybody else who stood out. We´ve certainly had worse players, but most of them were probably late draft picks and didn´t receive the playing time or standards that we set for TJ.
Did we have any really terrible linebackers for our first couple years in the league? It´s a tough position to really get exposed at, but we must have at some point.
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June 24th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
None that I could think of who met the 10 start limit. Which doesn’t mean they don’t exist, mind you.
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June 25th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
I don’t remember our LBs being terrible ever, not good, sure, but with Jamie Sharper at the beginning playing pretty damn well, he may have masked others suckage