Kickoff

by Matt

So, you’re saying we’re not the only ones who noticed? Great post on Mario Williams v. Bush and Young, including some potshots at Lil’ Dickie Justice, age 12, and Bill Simmons.  Oh, and Dr. Z, who I am reasonably sure is not really a doctor.  Money quote: “In a league that has been called modern day gladiator combat, isn’t having the most physically dominating gladiator worth something more than constant derision?”  (H/T Eric)

Sticking with Mario.  As a counter-point to last week’s David Carr pictures (which, by the way, never stop being funny), Mario Williams illustrates how to be awesome.  1. Arrive in Hummer stretch limo.  2. Dress like a normal human.  3. Rock a watch that costs more than most cars.  4. Ignore the small white man who is groping your bicep.

Yes, please! Finally, because I can’t find much news this morning, here are your Houston Texans cheerleaders to dance us on out of this post:



18 Responses to “Kickoff”

  1. 1 Vega
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    Mario Williams ascent to awesomeness has to rank as one of the top five greatest, most satisfying Fuck-You’s in the history of sports media. It will never get old reminding said media about how dumb they were and I look forward to enjoying it.

  2. 2 WillFist4Food
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    I can’t stand Dr. Z. Peter King is bad, too, but at least he can string enough words together to form a coherent sentence.
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    I look forward to watching Mario prove these morans wrong for many, many games to come.

  3. 3 Steph
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    Heh heh. I betcha I know where some of that information from that Williams v. Mario v. VY post came from. (esp. relating to Richard Justice’s blog post):

    http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007/12/12/mainstream-media-apologizes-to-mario-williams-for-irresponsible/

  4. 4 Steph
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    Or it might have come from my FanBlog Texans writing I did. Because I was unkind about what Justice wrote then:

    http://blogs.chron.com/fanblogtexans/2006/09/why_does_david_carr_mishandle_1.html

  5. 5 stacy
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    That was an excellent write up on Mario. Thanks for linking to it.

  6. 6 Demecoshallinherittheearth
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    Give Justice a break. If he spent time researching and writing intelligent articles he wouldn’t have time to fellate Mack Brown in the middle of the summer, months removed from any actual football.
    http://blogs.chron.com/sportsjustice/archives/2008/06/sure_the_astros.html
    My favorite part is where he responds to complaints about his bias by insinuating that they are too stupid to get into UT. Of course he gets exactly what he wants, stupid commenter flame wars that boost his page hit numbers. At this point, I think he’s just angling for a job at the Austin-American Statesmen.

  7. 7 Eric
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    Richard Justice is the architect, poster child, and founder of the Flip-Flop-Fuckers and Stoogies of the MSM. This ass-hat even credits himself with the “tombstone” picture during the abysmal start of the Astros in the Chron. I’m sure those who “rent” D.C. use his “position” (normally on all fours with the his best face foward) paper for those in the “know” or needing re-election. Like Simon Legree, his demise can’t come soon enough!
    Mario Williams has become a NFL monster and has shown all the “expert” hacks that they need to 1) appologize, 2) Shut the hell up, 3) mother his children!
    I think the hacks around the NFL are beginning to take note of what’s going on in Houston!?

  8. 8 stacy
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    My question is this: How long will it take everyone at the Comicle to jump on the bandwagon once we start winning games this year? Who will be the first to say “I’ve been saying it all along…..we’re building a winner.” What a bunch of fuckers.

  9. 9 kozanack
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    Justice is unrepentant. When I last tuned into his radio show a couple of months ago, he said something to the effect of, “call me when Mario makes a sack when it matters….”

  10. 10 Matt
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    @koz: Then you’d think someone would have called him 3.5 times during the Denver game, what with it being nationally televised and Mario’s biggest stage.
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    Unless that is some kind of patented Justice-is-retarded dig about the team not making the playoffs. Because, as we all know, that is totally under Mario’s control.
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    I wish Richard Justice would die in a fire.

  11. 11 Demecoshallinherittheearth
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    Hmm… sacks that matter… how about several drive-killing sacks of Cutler, a turnover-inducing sack on Brees, a one-handed sack in a very close Dolphins game, a 13-yarder against Tampa Bay…any of those ring a bell?
    Forget sacks, how about game-changing defensive touchdowns and a tipped two-point conversion that saved a game his rookie year? Fuck this, call me when Dickie writes or says anything that isn’t total shit.

  12. 12 Lee - UofTOrange
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    @ DSITE: insinuating that they are too stupid to get into UT

    Wow, occasionally Dickie J actually makes a good point! ;-)

  13. 13 Matt
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    C’mon, there can’t be THAT many Sooners reading the Chron, can there?

  14. 14 Lee - UofTOrange
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    Last year was the first year I could remember the Texans actually having attractive injuries, I’m glad they have finally stepped up their game. It’s one thing when a basketball dance team isn’t the best looking in the world, they actually do something. But when a football cheerleader is ugly it completely defeats the only purpose they are there, to look hot.

  15. 15 Demecoshallinherittheearth
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    I dunno Lee, his argument kinda fell apart after the third comment, when a Rice guy pointed out that not everybody considers UT to be the best school in the world. Not that it matters. The dumbest guy at ITT Tech knows that writing a fluff piece about a college football program in July is total bullshit.

  16. 16 Shake
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    And I’m absolutely certain that you would be just as outraged if someone wrote a similar piece this month about Mike Sherman and the sacred sheep grass…….right?

  17. 17 Lee - UofTOrange
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    @DSITE - You are correct, not everybody considers UT the best school in the world, but then again, nobody considers A&M that ;-)

    And I agree, Texas is far from the best school in the world, but bang for the buck I couldn’t be happier with my education and where it has taken me in life. And with 50K students, A-holes like Dickie J are inevitable

  18. 18 Lee - UofTOrange
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    I just noticed that I wrote “attractive injuries” and meant “attractive cheerleaders” ouch