Kickoff
Jul 9, 2008 Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, Fuck the Cowboys, I really dig my readers, Injury bug, Kickoff, National Media, Ranting, Teams that aren't the Texans
We could take up a collection. Apparently, die-hard Cowboys fans (as well as people who don’t fuck sheep) can buy personalized stones for the walkway around the new stadium. For $150, you get four lines of text on a brick. I assume they will weed out shit like “TO’s mom sucks cocks in Hell” and “Hey, Romo, why don’t you die in a fire, you fucking twat?!” So I suggest someone with a little extra cash should purchase “September 8, 2002. 19-10. Never forget.” (h/t Deadspin)
All your ESPN are belong to Bulluck. The Titans’ LB is going to do his best Woody Paige and be on the Leader all day long, spreading the gospel of the Titans or some shit like that. Whatever. I post this because Keith throws out “Yeah, we are in a smaller market and we don’t get the notoriety as a team that others do.” Um, Keith, there is no such thing as a “small market” in football, considering there is a hard cap, total revenue sharing, and league-wide TV contracts. Fuckin’ idiot. (h/t Eric)
Strategery. The Texans are “working toward less injuries” this year. Ignoring the grammatical misstep (it’s “fewer,” not “less,” goddamnit), this seems to be a solid idea. Honestly, I can see nothing wrong with such a plan. (h/t Eric)
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:20 am
On item no.#1, where do I send the check?
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:36 am
would “F–k you, Emmitt Smith!” get by the Cowboys’ censors? I’d pay double…
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:51 am
How about poor ole Wade Phillips? He could take his team (America’s Most Wanted,,,to die in a plane crash) to a SB (I just threw up in my mouth) and stillbe shown the “barnyard” door!
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/spt/stories/070908dnspoinsidethecowboys__.31900ea.html
Wonder what his brick would say?
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July 9th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Little off topic, but I was driving home from school today and was thinking what bfd said about the lack of texans gear around the city. That’s when I looked up and saw a damn vince young powerade billboard on 45. Granted it was advertisement for powerade, but fuckin come on.
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July 9th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
@ Eric: Wade Phillips brick would say “I only got my first job coaching because my dad was a good ‘ol boy. I really suck and have the worst playoff record of any active coach in the NFL.”
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July 9th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
My brick outside of the new stadium would say “I could beat Emmitt Smith in a spelling contest”
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July 9th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Wade Phillips has pretty much won everywhere he’s been, he’s a good coach, no idea why people think he isn’t.
And I love the “word” strategery
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July 9th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
I’ll throw in a 10 if someone could throw in the other 140 and we’ll let the people her decide what to put.
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
I caught Bulluck on NFL Live. He was pretty bad. Not Emmitt Smith bad, but definitely bad. He’s great at stating the obvious… Mark Schlereth tried to set him up for some insightful comments a couple of times, but Bulluck didn’t do anything with it.
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July 10th, 2008 at 6:13 am
I’m in for $10. We could write: “I’ve been sober for 10 years. Boo. Bring back the 90’s Cowbowys!”
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:51 am
@ Lee: I have to respectfully disagree about Wade Phillips. He’s never been good enough to get a team to the next level (playoff win). He has always taken over teams that were already winning when he became head coach.
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With the exception of the ‘99 Bills (whose success I attribute to Doug Flutie), every team he’s coached has consistently gotten worse. That’s why he can’t hold a job. He walks into a good situation and rides the team into the ground. Not too unlike what his father did with Earl Campbell. But that’s a rant for another day.
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Sorry, the formatting and spacing didn’t hold when I pasted it. Here is the link to the source:
http://www.pro-football-reference.com/coaches/PhilWa0.htm
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July 10th, 2008 at 10:45 am
@stacy: Fixed it for you. Because I am amazing.
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July 10th, 2008 at 11:04 am
@Matt: That is not up for debate, fuckrag.
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
@stacy: He still has won everywhere but his first stop. Talent changes, he’s managed to win with a good hand, but he’s still won.
And there are two things I don’t get as a Texans fan. 1. Why should I hate the Cowboys? We don’t play them, the Oilers didn’t play them (yes I know it occasionally happens). They aren’t in our conference and are a Texas team. 2. Why do I have to hate VY? He’s the greatest college football player of all time. And he wanted to be a Texan.
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July 11th, 2008 at 6:08 am
@Lee – UofTOrange: I can’t speak for everyone else, only myself. To my knowledge, only BFD and I are old enough to remember to remember the football of the 70’s. Back then, the Dallas Cowboys really were America’s team. Like BFD, my blood ran Columbia Blue. I grew up in Houston, going to Oiler games. But like allot of families back then, it was a house divided. My mother was a Cowboy fan, my dad and brother’s were Oiler fans. Back in the day, the Cowboys had integrity. That all changed when Jerry Jones, the Asshat, bought the team. I lost all respect for the organization with the way he handled replacing Tom Landry. He was an icon that didn’t deserve to find out about losing his job while watching ESPN. Back then, the Oilers were my team but I respected the Cowboys. I’ve since met Roger Staubach and I’ll be the first one to say that he’s one of the classiest and most down to earth people you’ll ever meet. I was and still am proud to say I shook the man’s hand. He was the epitome of classy athlete as was Tom Landry to coaching. That all changed when the team changed hands. They aren’t worth of my respect and deserve every pound of blind hatred they receive. Bunch of cocksuckers.
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July 11th, 2008 at 8:31 am
@Lee – UofTOrange: I’m assuming that, under this line of reasoning, that you feel no ill will toward A&M or Tech. Still, reasons to hate the Cowboys: 1. Most insufferable fans in all of sports, and that includes Red Sox fans. Dallas hasn’t won dick in YEARS but Cowboys fans talk like they have a championship team. I blame Romo. 2. Everything stacy said. 3. The are more than willing to sell out and bring in every head case, criminal, and ne’er-do-well to try and win a championship. I have no problem with bringing in one (or maybe two) such guys, but your franchise has to have some level of integrity if you don’t want non-fans to think you are sell-out whores.
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Re: VY. He talked shit about the team after he wasn’t drafted, he’s not smart enough to realize he’d have been a horrible fit here, he’s overrated in the pros, there’s a good chance he had a homosexual experience with Cedric Benson. (Also, “greatest college football player ever?”)
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July 12th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
@Matt – No, the logic doesn’t play there on A&M or Tech, as they are actually in the Big 12 AND the Horns’ South Division. We play them every year. But for Tech, I actually like them. I love Mike Leach. A&M, don’t hate, but hate a lot of their fans.
I’m also a Red Sox fan, so take that for what it’s worth.
I guess I’ll post on the other stuff in the thread made in my honor
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July 12th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
@Lee – UofTOrange: I’m also a Red Sox fan, so take that for what it’s worth
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You honestly could have said “I also eat other people’s boogers” and I wouldn’t have been as repulsed.
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July 12th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
It could be worse, I could be a Yankees fan
I can fully own up to the fact that the vast majority of my fellow Red Sox fans are
1. Dushbags (Happy BFD?)
2. Full of themselves
3. Bandwagoners
4. May have become fans bc of Roger Clemens like me, but that now kind of sickens them, like me
5. Are sadly represented by the small group that is both a dushbag AND a douchenozzle