With apologies to Oasis
Jul 9, 2008 Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, Idiot Karaoke, Inanity, Overrated, Tunez, Vince Young can't read this post
Wonderlic
by: Vince Young
This year is s’posed to be the year
That I’m gonna learn to lead a team
Or not, since I just forgot
Everything ‘Dinger taught to me
I don’t believe that they expect me
To memorize an entire playbook
Last week the word was on the street
That the fire in my heart was out
Forget I said I almost quit
Because I never really had a doubt
I don’t believe that they expect me
To memorize an entire playbook
And I’m sure the way I play this year will hurt us
But at least the guys I’m dancing with are shirtless
Our mascot is a Babyeating
Sisterfucker, too
But I don’t care!
Tenn-ess-eeee
You know I fit in cuz I can’t read
3-4-5-6
It’s my Wonderlic
I know Gage is wide open
But I’d rather just tuck and run
Throwin’ deep, man that ain’t for me
Interceptions ain’t no fun
I don’t believe that they expect me
To memorize an entire playbook
And all the fans who watch me play are meth-mouthed
And all of them have wheels underneath their house
Our mascot is a Babyeating
Sisterfucker, too
But I don’t care!
Tenn-ess-eeee
You know I fit in cuz I can’t read
3-4-5-6
It’s my Wonderlic
Tenn-ess-eeee
You know I fit in cuz I can’t read
3-4-5-6
It’s my Wonderlic
Tenn-ess-eeee
Where people just love to inbreed
Where they’ve got no shoes on their feet
Where they really think I’m a Q-B
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July 9th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Let me be the first to say that this absolutely. Fucking. Rocks.
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May Durga bless you for bringing such mirth into our lives.
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July 9th, 2008 at 8:21 am
“3-4-5-6
Its my Wonderlic”
Hahhah fucking clever man! I can feel a song about Reggie Bust coming to life in the next few days.
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July 9th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Absolute Greatness, my friend.
Bravo!
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:15 am
O-U-T-S-T-A-N-D-I-N-G!
I’ve printed off copies of this “battle hymn’ or “Ode to Possum Holler” and will distribute them post haste!
(the toothless assbag hillbillies can send you a royalty check or their 10th born…your call?!)
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:23 am
@ Jordan: Here is the original Reggie song. Though I probably need to do a non-country follow-up.
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@ Eric: Hmm…a check drawn on mama’s welfare check or some kids that look like Sloth from The Goonies? I guess I’ll take the cash.
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:23 am
Also @ Eric: Your immense hatred for the people of TN makes my disgust with Arkansans seem tame. Well done.
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:26 am
But where was LenDale while I was getting hiiiiigh?
(Dig the song!)
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:33 am
@ Jeff: You get bonus points for working Champagne Supernova humor into your comment.
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July 9th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Confession to be made, my mother side of the family is from here (they’re hillbillies but, love’em just the same) but, the rest of these inbreed’s, can choke on a bag of used condoms!
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July 9th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
In my best Tracy Morgan - “That was hilarious”
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I actually sang it aloud.
And I’m sure the way I play this year will hurt us
But at least the guys I’m dancing with are shirtless
Our mascot is a Babyeating
Sisterfucker, too
But I don’t care!
Tenn-ess-eeee
You know I fit in cuz I can’t read
3-4-5-6
It’s my wonderlic
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Funniest shit I’ve read in a while. Nice going senior.
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July 9th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Yuk yuk yuk…he and the Titans are still gonna beat you Texans losers all over the place this year so laugh it up fuzzball.
Besides, it’s getting closer to me winning another bottle of Jager from you Matty, and Imma gittin THIRSTY.
GO TITANS!!
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July 9th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I KNEW this post would de-lurk you, Tman.
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July 9th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Yah, the gmail tag about your grammy award was a dead giveaway.
Great to be back as the butt of many of your upcoming jokes I’m sure. I look forward to getting teased and teasing right back throughout the upcoming season.
By the way, Crumpler is making all kinds of noise at training camp.
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July 9th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
@tic-turd #13
That sound you hear is the Titan meatball virus of hunger! As the team name implies, he wants to fuck your sister and eat your babies (if your able to pollute the gene pool with your stank).
Instead of T-man, can we call you “spanky”?
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July 9th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Seriously though, why would anyone ever owe an apology to Oasis….for anything?
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July 9th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Instead of T-man, can we call you “spanky”?
No. But I can call all the Texans fans our bitches since the Titans have OWNED you since your franchise started.
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July 9th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Dude. If Weird Al can do this shit, you could making millions. Like eleventy million dollars. Really. This is some Grammy winning shit.
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July 9th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
@ TMan: Seriously, you need to go back to your sausage fest, shirtless parties with your sexual chocolate lover, Vince. Go drink a Zima or something.
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July 9th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
@Tman - You can’t technically own anything you stole, and Tennessee stole the Titans
@ Matt - I still have love for VY, lots of it actually. He did nothing wrong to the Texans. I definitely defend the pick, but I still love Vince.
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July 9th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
@ Matt: Yeah, a non-country song would be well appreciated coz eventhough I live in Texas, I hate country music with a passion.
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July 9th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Holy shit! That was hysterical. I cried tears of laughter… I actually sang it aloud also, but at some point I couldn’t continue. This is a classic effort, Matt.
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“And all of them have wheels underneath their house” - that’s where the tears started. Oh my god, that was fantastic. You need to spam every Titans site with that.
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July 9th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
@Matt & Stacy: You know that song was originally named after me…”Wonder Lick”.
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@Shake: I couldn’t agree more…I fuckin’ hated Oasis. Ewwww…I just threw up in my mouth.
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July 10th, 2008 at 1:03 am
[...] Wonderlic, by Vince Young [...]
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July 10th, 2008 at 10:24 am
@ 17.stacy: Well, I am up to five parodies, I think. When we get to ten, I’m coming to Austin to cut a CD.
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July 10th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Fuck. Vince. Young.
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July 10th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
@stacy: Zima? That’s the best you got?
Weak sauce.
Seriously, I prefer to drink the Jager that was bought from the bet I won with Matt last year from BOTH Titans victories over the hapless Texans.
I fully expect to be able to restock the bar again with more winnings. And don’t worry, I’ll be back for more abuse so you can come up with some more awesome burns like that Zima comment.
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July 10th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
@Lee - UofTOrange: We stole the Titans? Oh.
Fine, I won’t say we OWN the Texans. I’ll just keep reminding you guys that you have managed to beat us TWICE in your entire franchise history.
2-10 does not give you guys much to brag about.
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July 10th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
@Tman: After we sweep you this year and make it 4-10…um…I forget where I was going with this.
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Oh, yeah, VY kisses men.
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July 10th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
@Tman: So you’re saying you won a bet w/ Matt for some Jager based on the game(s) b/n the Texans/BESF? It’s just weird that this is the first I’ve heard about this.
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
@Matt: You were probably gonna say “then I’ll drink this years wager on YOU instead!!! Ha ha!” or something.
It’s gotta be on again this year, right?
@Shake: Yep, and he went double or nothin’ on the second game. More free booze for me!
I do love to take crap from you guys and then watch the fits of hysterics when Houston inevitably collapses under the weight of its own incompetence. It’s like icing on the cake, with free Jager.
Bring on Petey and da Boys!
(Is Faggins still playing with Houston? I’m lazy and haven’t checked the roster.)
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
@Tman: So, they’re still all sold out of sarcasm detectors in Tennessee huh?
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
@TMan - And you have the same amount of championships as the Texans, so whoopdy fucking do
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
@Shake: Mine apparently wasn’t functioning. It’s been a while.
@Lee - UofTOrange: True. And you still may get one before us, but you’re still 2-10.
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July 11th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Yep, a 40 year old franchise absolutely owns an expansion team in its first 6 years of existence. Who would’ve thought it possible?
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Next, to up your ego some more you should play dodgeball with a group of 2nd Graders.
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July 11th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
@Shake: 2-10 baby, 2-10.
Make all the excuses you want. Come January when the Titans are in the playoffs again and the Texans are back where they belong on the fairways of Houston, I’m sure you’ll have plenty more excuses.
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July 11th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
http://bp2.blogger.com/_jePiFJPZE8Y/RxugyXbwWRI/AAAAAAAAAGA/2RQjHIOJggM/s1600-h/image-upload-769558.jpe
“Memoreeeeees………Like the corners of my mind……”
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July 11th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
It’s funny how in Houston we are pissed that the Rockets keep losing in the 1st round of the playoffs, but it’s equivalent to gaining 1 more yard in the Super Bowl to Titans’ fans.
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July 13th, 2008 at 7:29 am
The Rockets have won a few championships before, so that makes sense Shake.
Seriously, have I mentioned how much I hate the Titans and Bud Adams?