Kickoff
Jul 10, 2008 Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, Duane Brown as Eliza Doolittle, Kickoff, Training camp 2008
Finally, football is almost here!: Eric reminded Matt and I that the list of dates for open training camp is up and at the Texans’ website. July 26 is just 48 days away! (math h/t VY)
Fluffy analysis: Eh, Pete Prisco doesn’t make me overly nauseous, and here’s his take on the Ephraim Salaam/Duane Brown battle. I’ve never been one to downplay the role of rookies, but let’s see how Brown actually performs in training camp and the pre-season before anointing him the starter. I would love to see him start on Opening Day, but if it means sacrificing a procession of QBs - Teh Schaub, Rosy Rosenfels, Alex Brink, Brett Favre, Dan Pastorini, Commander Cody Carlson, and a surprisingly spry George Blanda - then not so much.
Speaking of fluffy analysis and unnecssary foresight: It’s really not a secret that I think Brooke Bentley has quickly become the best “beat reporter” for the Texans (really, the only difference between her and the Comicle is that 1. we *know* she is paid by the Texans, and 2. the whole grammar, style, intelligence thing). But this new series previewing 2008 matchups? I dunno.
The latest is a preview against our favoritist rivals, those cute and bubbly Babyeating-Sisterfuckers. The game is over two months away. Let’s, you know, wait til we get closer to the season until we actually start writing Week 3 previews. It’s not like we’re printing a magazine here. (h/t Eric)
Be-Sf analysis?: This is the right way to start.
Finally: Well, just because.
(Oops, wanted to add this: Trent Dilfer retired. The last of the great Fresno State QBs?)
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July 10th, 2008 at 10:24 am
At Trent retirement party, TJ rminds him that “God don’t like ugly”. (Then he knees him in the noggin for good luck…)
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July 10th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Good luck in retirement to Trent. Hopefully he doesn’t try to stop a purse-snatcher on the street by throwing his head at their knees.
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July 10th, 2008 at 10:58 am
@Eric: Wrong Trent altogether. I’m sorry, Mr. Pickford.
@matt: I’ve got no beef with the game by game analysis Brook’s doing. At least it’s SOMETHING football related while we sit on our thumbs (Easy Foomey) and wait for training camp. Good to see ole Vandermeer hasn’t blown away in the latest stiff breeze. (Not sure if Htown’s gotten any breeze lately, though)
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July 10th, 2008 at 11:08 am
OK. Speaking of Vandermeer. Is it me? Or, is this guy the biggest fucking douchebag of all time? I can’t even begin to list how many ways I can’t stand him. Rock And Roll!!! Razzle Dazzle!!! Abracadabra!!! You’re supposed to have your catchphrase BEFORE the first game, fuckwad.
I wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire…
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July 10th, 2008 at 11:23 am
@mgamaguche: Do any radio guys *not* suck? Seriously. I’ve never heard one that doesn’t make me say WTF a thousand times. I mean, it’s like they never actually watch the damn games.
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@beef: I wrote this one, dagnabbit!
Yeah, it’s something, but it’s about as meaningful as any column about football by Little Dickie Justice.
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
@bigfatdrunk: Sorry bud. F me in the A. That’s what I get for not using the fancy schmancy reply to function. I deserve to die from feline AIDS.
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
@bigfatdrunk: and duude… don’t do that to Brooke. NO ONE deserves to have their work compared to that cocksleeve.
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
@mgamaguche: No, Andre Ware now holds that championship title in the sportscasting division.
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@bigfatdrunk: Below is a link to the only sports guy on radio whom I believe not to suck, and actually be pretty good:
http://www.790thesportsanimal.com/pages/charliepalliloblog.html
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
@beef: I stand corrected and you are right, Mr. Blutarsky, I’ll try harder next time! Thanks for pointing it out!
Mr. Pickford
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
@beef: Yikes! Sorry, Brooke.
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
The caption underneath the picture of Ephraim Salaam said: “Can Ephraim Salaam ‘top’ Duane Brown in Houston?”
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That’s like VY gay.
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
“I would love to see him start on Opening Day, but if it means sacrificing a procession of QBs - Teh Schaub, Rosy Rosenfels, Alex Brink, Brett Favre, Dan Pastorini, Commander Cody Carlson, and a surprisingly spry George Blanda - then not so much.”
Perfectly sums the LT battle up.
BTW, FanHouse did a complete redo, and the programmers have sort kinda messed things up. So I put a link in this that will direct any bored peoples to my stuff.
Oh, and BTW, though I do not listen to him much any more, I will say that Marc Vandermeer is an impressively niiiiiice guy. Not an act. I don’t have anything bad to say about the guy, but then again, I am the sort of sentimental person that likes to sing the lyrics to “Football Time in Houston” because it means we scored a TD. I unable to listen to beginning of “Down With the Sickness” without being at a football game or it makes me cranky that I’m not watching football.
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I’m a huge fan of everything but Dickie J on 1560
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
@Steph: I have no problem with Vandemeer. I have HUGE problems with Andre Ware on the radio though