Kickoff
Jul 15, 2008 Frank Okam is an evil genius, Kickoff, Kris Brown's golden leg, Peyton Manning's lovelife, Please let the season start soon, Teams that aren't the Texans
Praise Durga. As Steph mentioned in the comments to a previous post, Peyton Manning will miss about 6 weeks after having surgery to remove an infected bursa sac. They say he will be ready to go by the start of the season, but a 10-year vet having knee surgery (even minor knee surgery) doesn’t sound like the type of thing that is guaranteed to turn out well. Some people would say, “man, I hope he comes back because I want the Colts to be at full strength when we beat them.” To that, I say “you, sir, are an idiot.”
The other guys on the team / Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads / And also like to hide the special shoe / I need to kick in the snow. Scout.com interviewed Kris Brown. It’s your typical Q&A fluff, though the part about tuition reimbursement for former players is kind of neat. (OK, fine, it’s not neat. You win. I only posted this story so I could bust out some Lonesome Kicker lyrics.)
They say nothing of Frank Okam’s evil genius, however. Nothing new in this breakdown of Texans’ training camp goals, but it does repeat all the stuff we’ve been talking about for a while. I’m just glad to finally see other outlets saying this stuff instead of “line bad…bah, Texans suck” or whatever.
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July 15th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Agreed re: Peyton. Yeah, it would be a nice story to see our team beat the crap out of the Colts when they’re at full strength, but I care more about the W and that will be a hell of a lot easier with Jim Sorgi under center.
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July 15th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Sorgi’s gonna go into hiding if Peyton can’t start the season. I’ve never seen a backup QB who seemed like he wanted to play less.
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July 15th, 2008 at 10:32 am
@DemecoShallInheritTheEarth:
but what if Elisha gets hurt AND there is a big sale on gloves and hand accessories?? I think you’d see one very confused and sad Zoolander!
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July 15th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Okay - I’ll admit it. Despite playing for the Colts, and beating us senseless time and again… I like me some Peyton Manning. It all goes back to the year (2004) that I had him on my FFB team, along with Reggie Wayne (they helped me win over four bills that year). I had no choice but to root for him. Plus, his SNL United Way commercial is a fucking classic.
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With all that said, I hope he never sees the field this season.
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Cut that knee, cut that knee!
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July 15th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
@SOLIS: I understand the sentiment. It’s why I’ll never say anything too bad about Chad Johnson no matter how much of an ass he comes off as. When you help win me a championship, you get a lot of leeway for stupidity.
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July 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
@SOLIS: No, No, SO(lis)…..say it ain’t so. Peyton is a ho and sucks dicks f’sho. I don’t think I like you no mo.
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July 15th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
@DemecoShallInheritTheEarth: See above without the catchy rhyme.
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July 15th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
If it was only a bursa sac removal, he should be back quickly. Today’s the 15th? Yeah, I can see him being out on the field on August 1. It’s really not a big deal.
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July 15th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
@bigfatdrunk: Don’t you burst my bubble!
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Seriously, though, I know it is minor. I’m just holding out hope that this is the first sign that father time is catching up with Mrs. Chesney.
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July 15th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
what we really need to do is injure his offensive line. Then it’s easier to get to Mrs. Chesney. Healthy or not.
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July 15th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Matt - the top video on HT.com right now is a present from the team to you. Have fun with it. LOL
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July 15th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
The Peyton is going to miss no time at all. He never misses games nor does he have to worry about game injuries. For he has a pact with the devil:
http://www.fanhouse.com/2006/09/18/peyton-manning-is-evil/
Alas, good doesn’t always triumph over evil as he got his Super Bowl after I wrote that. That’s one of my favorite things I’ve written. Mostly because Colts fans are overly literal, have no sense of humor, and didn’t get it at all. Well, that, and it is hard to find fun things to write after the Colts destroy your team.
Colts fans are so spoiled about the Peyton always being available. Their older fans remember what it was like to be the suckage, and so they don’t come across as donkeys. Their younger fans know nothing other than unhurt Manning, and are so smug about their team that you want to pop them square in the face.
I really think that team would look like garbage without the Peyton, and the nastier of their fanbase makes me want him to sit for a while to see how that tastes.
(I love how my piece comes up as a first page google search for “Peyton Manning evil”–it’s because Colts fans left lots of comments in it and sort of google bombed it with relevant info. Well and I was jacking with them some in the comments. The comments are pretty funny if you are terribly bored).
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July 15th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
I like Peyton too, but if he never plays against the Texans again I’d be ecstatic. In fact, if every to 10 QB wants to skip our games I’m down
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July 15th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
@DiehardChris: Mmmmm…nothing more “pretty” than a grown man wearing lipgloss and “size 9″ shoes. What was that all about? So…he has small feet. You know what they say about men with small feet? Damn…I wear size 9.5 in mens!!! I have larger feet than Will Demps? You have no idea how loudly I am laughing right now.
@Stacy: He sure does have a pretty mouth too!
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July 16th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Here’s a Manning link dumpy article I wrote:
http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2008/07/16/favre-schmarve-whats-the-real-deal-with-peyton-mannings-injur/
With extra sick of hearing about Favre goodness.