Kickoff
Jul 17, 2008 2008 Season, Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, Kickoff, Morlon Greenwood, Self-Referential Stuff, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Fred
Fuzzy math. The Titans claim Haynesworth’s one-year tender offer makes him the highest paid player in football. Haynesworth’s agent disagrees. Haynesworth responded by punching an eldery lady and squishing a newborn baby with his bare hands. (h/t Eric)
Irritating trends in national sports journalism. I post this article merely as further proof that Morlon Greenwood is the most underrated player in football. He is lumped into the guys who are “holes around” Mario, Amobi, and DeMeco. Fred Bennett is also, apparently, part of that group.
The is your brain on drugs. Following up from BFD’s Kickoff yesterday, Chris has added a second round of numbers to the predictions for the BE-SF’s 2008 season. Suffice it to say that, should these numbers pan out, the Titans will be one of the greatest offensive teams in the history of football. Which will be even more impressive, since they are doing it without WRs.
Finally. Some retard wrote a breakdown of the Texans’ running back situation.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 9:46 am
@TMan
VY=gay
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 10:00 am
What kind of cap hit would we take for cutting Ahman Green?
If we have to cut somebody, I’d want it to be either him or Chris Brown, and if the cap hit isn’t that significant, I’d want to ditch the 31 year old jalopy.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 10:04 am
@TheBlowLeprechaun: About $4.9MM by my calculations. Maybe a little less depending on if there are any loopholes in some of the incentives that are included in the bonus pay.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 10:19 am
HA check this out!
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/hashmarks/0-8-226/Improved-footwork-and-new-shoes-for-Vince-Young.html
Favorite nugget: ” This cleat is awesome and I can’t wait to wear it when it counts — in September.” — uh, shouldn’t that be January? or at least December?
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Okay, I’m about to leave on vacation… and when I return, I’d like to see:
Petey doing something other than playing football for the Houston Texans;
a report about Peyton’s rehab going slower than expected;
Pac-Man making it rain at the Lodge at least once;
the Rockets trading Luther Head; and
an SI story about Brett Favre’s unfortunate career-ending injury suffered while trying to suck his own dick.
I think these requests are reasonable.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Keith Weiland, who’s usually dead on with cap figures, posted this over at inthebullseye.com a couple of weeks ago:
-
“Says here that if Green doesn’t find a way to stay healthy through training camp, he’ll be gone before the season opener in Pittsburgh. And, if he is sent packing, then as a June 1 cut Green only carries $1.25 million in dead money on the 2008 salary cap, actually saving a couple million in cap space should the team be looking for an alternative.”
-
But given all of Kubiak’s comments about how great he is, I can’t see them cutting Green. Nice breakdown, btw, on the running back situation, Matt.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 11:24 am
$1.25, huh? As a June 1, that means his cap his $2.5. Hmmm. His allocated bonus money for this year is $1.6something. Dunno. I trust Keith more than my own figures, however.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 11:27 am
@Buck: Also, thanks. I took great joy in throwing in the cost/carry number for Ahman.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 11:54 am
@Matt: It inspired me to go see what my company paid me per dump I took last year. $260. It’s not much, but it still feels like a small victory.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
@Buck: There’s something pleasing about the thought of being paid to take a dump. That’s why I do it at work as much as possible.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
@Buck: Do you have an ROI on that?
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
@Buck: But what about your “pages after dump” (PAG) numbers? I usually at least finish the chapter/article I’m working on.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
@bigfatdrunk: It’s spelled “ROID.”
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
@Eric: Well done. @TheBlowLeprechaun: I still don’t understand why you guys took Brown. I’ve always liked him in Tennessee but he could never stay healthy. A banged up veteran RB who never played a full season is never worth that much.
@Matt: Between Ahman and Brown who would you let go?
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
@Tman: It’s called “Texan hospitality”! We don’t eat those we just meet nor date and pro-create with our family members…
Glad you appreciated the “shout out” and hope to meet you one day in Hillbilly Heaven”.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Not any kind of threat, I live in Springfield…just saying.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
@Matt: re: Green’s dead money. For post-6/1 cuts, you don’t just double the current year dead money for the total dead money. Green signed a contract thru 2010, so there is an extra year’s prorate that must be accounted for on the 2009 cap. Also, the higher bonus allocation this year ($1.6mm) is an expectation of Green achieving a series of gameday roster bonuses, plus a workout bonus of $200k. The roster bonuses do no count as dead money until earned. The workout bonus for 2008 might have been earned already, so Green’s dead money cap hit this year might really be $1.45mm if released before Week 1. Love the blog, btw. I don’t wander over here often enough.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
@DisplacedTexan: I just went with a straight “show up for work, take a dump, go home” rate. Which came the closest in accurately describing what I did there. And that might be the only thing I’ll ever have in common with Ahman Green.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Thanks for clearing that up, Keith. That makes a lot more sense.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
@Eric: We will definitely be throwing down against each other during the season here at DGDB@DM, but remember that (for me anyways) it’s all for fun. I expect to get completely flamed if the Titans lose against the Texans this year, and you can probably guess that the opposite will happen otherwise.
Lookin’ forward to it! And who knows, maybe I’ll get some others to join me in a freindly wager?
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
@Tman: Just what I expected from a BE-SF, you can’t even get the acronym right. And yes, I’ll be more than happy to make whatever wager you like. Just name it, T(wat)Man.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Ooh! Ooh! Can your wager involve the loser sleeping with Foomey?!?
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
@matt: And to think that I introduced you to Svetlana Suckalotacockovitch! That’s the last time Stacy and I entertain you before work…Fucker! Besides, my punani is off limits for 3 more weeks due to unforeseen circumstances beyond the owner’s control.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
@matt: Wait just a fuckin minute..you make it sound like sleeping with me would be a bad thing. Double fuck ya…fucker! (damn those hydrocodones…make-foomey-slooooowwwww-to-react)
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
@Foomey: Did Stacy put it on lockdown or what?
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
@Foomey: Getting herpes after banging a Guns N’ Roses tribute band is not really “unforeseen.”
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
@Jordan: Stacy might be my friend, but “twat lock” he is not. Oooh…that could be the modern name for the chastity belt.
@Matt: Duh…3 weeks wouldn’t help an incurable virus like Herpes. You should know that, Matt…we talked about that a few days ago. You’ll be ok.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
@matt: Hey now, we like Foomey, and besides, she’s not a part of TMan’s family, so why would he even want that?
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Matt-
Uh, I don’t know why you love Morlon Greenwood so much. He gets a lot of tackles, (after the offensive player drags him a little bit). He has one of the largest salaries on the team, and I don’t see him even as a average linebacker in the league. Heck, some might make the argument that he isn’t even above the average for linebackers on this team.
-
I know you heart MG, and I’m only bringing this up to have a discussion of it because I’ve never understood your Greenwood love.
-
Is it just the stats? Or are you seeing something in his play that is not as obvious as what you see with DeMeco. Ryans gets fat stats, but his play is so obviously outstanding when you watch it.
-
I’m not trying to be a smartass asking this question. I really want to know your thoughts on this. I see Greenwood’s play and I don’t consider him underrated but rather overpaid. I also will conceed that perhaps my eyes haven’t seen something that yours have, as I try to keep an open mind about stuff.
-
As for the secondary, IMO, they are considered holes until the defense doesn’t have to be dumbed down to compensate for their inexperience.
-
“Haynesworth responded by punching an eldery lady and squishing a newborn baby with his bare hands.” hahahahaha
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I have to say I agree with Steph here (not that this is rare), MG does it for me fine as a low paid vet, but at his current salary it should be obvious that he is good, I shouldn’t have to watch 15 plays before I see something
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
@Lee - UofTOrange: Ummmm…Thanks….I think.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
@Steph: I’m not trying to be a smartass asking this question.” Just admit it, Steph…yes you are. ” I also will conceed that perhaps my eyes haven’t seen something that yours have, as I try to keep an open mind about stuff.” Yes, Matt has seen something you haven’t…Brett Favre naked.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
@Matt: You’ve seen Brett Favre naked! Holy Canoli! Is his dick as big as his legacy or that’s just all the hype talking.
(click arrow to reply)
July 17th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
@Foomey: Are you sure that Stacy isn’t a twat lock? I swear I remember him mentioning……….. Wait. Nevermind.
BTW I prefer Chastity Belt since it doesnt sound as dirty as “twat lock”
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 7:25 am
FOR THE RECORD: I am NOT Foomey’s Twat Lock. I am merely the man that directs traffic to and away from that ‘man-hole’. /picture road cones, flares, signal flags and hard hats. You just never know if it will be the day you fall in that hole and die. I’ve heard rumors that she and Solis are making the rounds to all the gay bars in San Antonio. They just love that whole ‘Glory Hole’ tour. Supposedly, they’ve been taking turns pitching and catching.
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 7:50 am
@Jordan: Oh geez weewill-a-kers…shucky darn it…
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 7:55 am
@stacy: We’ve only taken over the “Glory Hole” tour because Stacy is worn out. For the last 11 months, he was a real trouper, but alas, his bunghole is just worn out. He started getting hate mail, so he passed the torch to me…an experienced professional.
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 9:38 am
@Steph: I’ll answer this in a post later today or over the weekend.
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 11:17 am
@Matt: I was going to commend you on your procrastination, but I think I’ll just do it later.
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 11:40 am
@Shake: Ass. The reason I am doing it in a post is the answer is fairly long and I didn’t feel like typing all of it in a comment that only a few people would bother to read.
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
@Matt: Hole. This word association thing is fun. Next, are we going to look at symmetrical ink blots?
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
@40 Yay! I was hoping it was going to get a post. I think it is interesting not knowing what our linebackers are going to look like in the upcoming year.
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
@Shake: Well played! Is that what you and your doc normally do next…look at symmetrical ink blots?
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
My doc and I are scheduled once a week and thats the first thing we do. Looking at ink blots. We never get past it though because he gets frustrated that all I see from the ink blots are football and beer.
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
@Jordan: That’s what I call dedication…or is it addiction? Ask your doc the next time you see him. I throw in $10 for the answer.
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
@Matt: As opposed to the normal stuff you right and it’s hordes of readers?
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
@Lee - UofTOrange: I’ll take 200 over the number of people likely to scroll down and find an old Kickoff post and read the thread. We can’t all rely on hundreds of GIS searches dragging people our way each day.
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
@Matt: Nicely done! That 22 game win streak helped our site a lot last year. I think the 10 wins the Texans get this year are going to make this site even crazier than it already is and honestly, you guys deserve it. This is the only site I look forward to seeing each night (since I hate my network at work).
And good God, did I put “right” where it should have been “write”. That is Bill horrendous /Walton
(click arrow to reply)
July 18th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
I just realized that I didn’t mention how much better this site is than TheDreamShake. I know Dave and I hope to be to this level this year but we have a long way to go