Top 5 Favorite Players
Jul 25, 2008 Fuck the Cowboys, I really dig my readers, This is a rather lame and pointless post, Top 5
Remember WAY back (in June) when I was doing Top 5 Lists related to the team? Well, there are a couple more in the works, but this particular list is all about reader interaction. And it’s a two-parter. Or a “double-ender,” if that makes some of you feel more comfortable?
Part One: Your Top 5 Favorite Active Texans
Part Two: Your Top 5 Favorite Active Non-Texans
NOTE: If the Texans are not your favorite team, feel free to substitute your team for “Texans” in the instructions. Unless your favorite team is the Cowboys, in which case I ask you to go fuck yourself.
My Answers:
Part 1.
1. Mario Williams. Absolutely WORSHIP the dude. Last year’s dominance made me feel vindicated in liking the selection from Day 1 and I actually expect him to be in the running for Defensive Player of the Year this year. He’s a god.
2. DeMeco Ryans. Though it doesn’t rise to the level of man-love I have for Mario, DeMeco is a pretty close #2 on my list. He’s my son’s favorite player, too. If he stays healthy and Okam plays 2/3 as well as I think he will, DeMeco will have 170 total tackles this year.
3. Andre Johnson. Maybe I am high, but as of this moment, I would take Johnson over any WR in football. Size, strength, speed…dude is the total package and is not a headcase like Moss, Johnson, Owens, and (apparently) Boldin.
4. Fred Bennett. The Fred went from “this kid might be all right” to “Jesus, we got a steal” in the span of about 8 games last year. With the force-out rule gone, I look for Fred to be even more of a beast this year. He’s gonna OWN your punk ass, Roydell!
5. Morlon Greenwood. It’s been documented.
Part 2.
1. Justin Tuck. Even before his domination of the Patriots (shoulda been MVP of the game), I was digging the Tuck. He’s a force and, yet, even in NYC he’s underrated.
2. Braylon Edwards. Like I need to explain this one.
3. Larry Foote. See #2.
4. Carson Palmer. He’s cool anyway, but when you come out and say how much you dislike Ohio State, you get bumped WAY up.
5. Charles Woodson. Ok, I’m a homer. Leave me alone.
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July 25th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Ouch. FIVE favorite Texans? I’ll give it a try:
1. Andre Johnson: My mancrush on this stud from Tha U got way out of hand last year as he completely ran shit (when healthy) on my fantasy team last year. Considering Houston had zero running game and the whole Schaub/Sage switch-a-roo every week, his stats were even more impressive. It would’ve been the Titans sitting at home and y’all playing in San Diego had he played in a couple of more games. I don’t think you’re crazy, Matthew–I’m taking this guy with my second pick in our draft if I get the chance.
2. DeMeco Ryans: Came out with a bang as a rookie and hasn’t slowed down a bit. Hugely underrated.
3. Jeff Zgonina: those monster calves and his former-Ram status catapult him to this totally undeserved spot.
4. Mario Williams: Count me among the other 99% of football fans in thinking y’all were crazy to not take Bush or VY #1. Kudos to Casserly.
5. Ahman Green: RB prediction–Ahman rushes for 900-1,000 and Steve Slaton emerges as a solid back-up about 5 weeks in.
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Non-Texans:
1. Darren McFadden: “But he hasn’t even taken a snap yet.” Yeah, I know. And I don’t care. This dude is DA TROOF (all caps warranted). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one these idiot Hog fans that live, breath, and shit all things Razorback (though I keep a rooting interest in them since I live here in LR), but after following the guy’s college career and seeing him play in person, I’m all about Run DMC’s career.
2. Will Witherspoon: a little longer in the tooth than DeMeco, but just as underrated. Can fly side to side as good as anyone. Granted, when you play behind the Rams “D-line” of the past couple of years you’re going to total some tackles, but this guy is a bonafide star and deserves a lot more love.
3. Steven Jackson: Only because what he brings for my team (and hopefully my fantasy team). Impressive ball catcher who will get back to his 90 reception self this year. Of course, if he walks as a FA after this year, he can rot in hell.
4. Andre Johnson: See above.
5. Chris Long: I’ve said it before here–he ain’t gonna be the next Super Mario, but I do believe the guy is the real deal. With a healthy Leonard Little back (watch out, you late night StL pedestrians), I don’t think 8-10 sacks is out of the question his first season. The more and more I thought about, the more certain I became that the Rams made the right choice for the long term with this pick.
(it’s really sad that there just ain’t no QBs I’m too excited about these days…I think Kurt Warner’s still my fave by default)
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And just for shits and giggles, my Top 5 All-Time:
1. Marshall Faulk
2. Joe Montana
3. Barry Sanders
4. Greg Lloyd
5. Isaac Bruce*
*close enough to retiring that he goes on the olde timers list with these other guys
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[maybe it's pointless, but I just can't help but love a good list]
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July 25th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Texans Top 5:
1 & 2: Mario and Demeco (tie)
3. AJ
4. Dunta
5. Okam, Slaton, and Molden (tie): I’m just super excited about their potential. Odds aren’t great that they’ll all become above-average, but I think they bring a much higher ceiling than your typical comparable picks.
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Non-Texans
5. Bob Sanders - undersized but brings the hammer. I don’t think he’s long for the league with his injury history and the way he plays, but he’s pretty dominant when healthy from that spot.
4. Shawne Merriman & Adalius Thomas - I loves me huge, explosive OLBs.
3. Devin Hester - Yeah, he’s kind of a moron and pretty one dimensional, but has there ever been anybody as exciting in the open field?
2. LT - Supposedly as good a guy off the field as he is on the field, according to a friend. Explosive yet fundamentally sound.
1. Casey Hampton - Yes, some homerism, but he’s got the best engine in the league.
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Top 5 Oilers
5. H-Eugene Seale
4. Billy “White Shoes” Johnson
3. Elvin Bethea & Curley Culp
2. Big Bad Earl
1. Robert Brazile - Still probably my all-time favorite player. I think it’s a crime he’s not in the Hall.
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July 25th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Texans:
1. Mario - I love how he’s sticking it to the UNIVERSE with his great play. He’s just a fantastic story of redemption, to this point. I even got excited watching him beat up tackling dummies.
2. Dunta - Nobody has more heart. Nobody plays “bigger” despite his small frame. By the way Matt - I looked it up, and it turns out Dunta is actually two inches taller than Bob Sanders. I love how Dunta hits like he’s much bigger than he is.
3. DeMeco - Huge character guy, natural born leader - and one of those guys who would have to be legally declared dead before he’d come out of a game.
4. AJ - Matt - I would take him over anyone else too, because unlike Moss and TO - you never EVER have to worry about where his head is. I want to see what this guy can do in a 100% healthy season with someone other than Mittens throwing him the ball.
5. Eric Winston - I love his charisma, and his ability to smash things. He’s gonna be around a long, long time.
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I gravitate toward the defensive players, and the O-line. I’m just a defense guy. That said, I do like Schaub a lot too, and I think he’ll do great things if he can stay on the field.
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Non Texans… I’m gonna have to think on that one a little.
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July 25th, 2008 at 10:56 am
@bigfatdrunk: How the hell do you work 13 guys into two top 5 lists? That’s impressive.
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July 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am
@DiehardChris: It was REALLY hard leaving Dunta off my list. I guess I am more of a front seven guy, but Dunta has more heart than just about anyone I can think of.
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July 25th, 2008 at 11:10 am
@Matt: Pshaw, everyone knows Brett Favre has the most heart of anyone in the history of the world. He’s like a kid out there, even at the age of 60!
Okay, that last part was more prediction.
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July 25th, 2008 at 11:30 am
1. Demeco
2. Dre
3. Mario
4. Daunte
5. Chester
Don’t have any players that i give a crap about, who aren’t texans…unless i draft them on my fantasy team.
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July 25th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
@Matt: Thinking outside the box! New paradigm! Aligning strategic synergies! I’m good at that shit.
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July 25th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
1. Andre Johnson
2. Andre Davis
3. Andre Walters
4. Jacoby Andre
5. DeMeco Ryans
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July 25th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
1. DeMeco–he’s going to go down as one of the best to ever play his position.
2. Super Mario–take THAT, world!
3. ‘Dre–the best WR in the league. Matt and Jeff are spot on here.
4. The Schaub–he’s going to show he was worth every cent we gave up to get him this year. I swear it.
5. Dunta–keep him in your prayers and/or sacrifice a small animal to ensure that his recovery is swift and that he picks up where he left off pre-injury.
Honorable Mention: Matt Turk–for not being Chad Stanley.
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July 25th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Okay, for NFL:
1. Bob Sanders, IND - see my reasons for Dunta.
2. Brandon Jacobs, NYG - it’s like watching a linebacker playing RB. I love watching him plow over defenders.
3. Ray Lewis, BAL - way past his prime, and I have to take the off-field stuff out of the equation - but I love high-emotion, non-stop motor guys. Guys that literally scare the opposition.
4. Ed Reed, BAL - did I mention I love defense? Reed’s a good contact hitter, and a playmaker. I wish we could find another one of him to play for us.
5. Brian Dawkins, PHI - and again, a hard-hitting safety. Clearly you can tell what I like most about football… contact!
Honorable mentions - Sheldon Brown for blasting the ever-living shit out of Reggie Bush, and Brian Westbrook for being so good for so long - yet being so under the radar.
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July 25th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Texans:
1. Mario Williams — not that he’s done anything to deserve it. Psyche!
2. DeMeco — everyone knows why, so no need to go on here.
3. ‘Dre
4. Teh Schaub
5. Owen Daniels — seems to get less attention than the Dres or Kevin Walter, but he is quietly on his way to becoming an elite TE.
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Non-Texans:
1. Steven Jackson
2. Steve Smith
3. Patrick Kerney
4. Bob Sanders
5. Tony Gonzalez
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Oilers:
1. Earl, and it isn’t even close.
2. Ernest Givens
3. Ray Childress
4. Warren Moon, even though he beat his wife, he was a hell of a qb
5. Allen Aldridge, because he was my swim coach in Middle School. Ironically, the guy that he replaced was Mark Knoblauch, brother of Chuck, who left to coach baseball at Bellaire until he got nailed on statutory rape charges after molesting three of the bat-girls there.
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July 25th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
tex-anns
5. AJ
4. teh Shaub
3. Mario
2. Demeco
1. Kasey Studdard and the whole O-line. From Worst to First in three years because of the improvement right up front.
Others
5. janikowski
4. shockey
3. Turley
2. Cooley
1. Farve- I don’t have an explanation for this one.
AllTime
5. Pat Tillman
4. Ronnie Lott
3. Bo Jackson
2. Lawrence Taylor
1. Tom Rathman- My idol as a ball player
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July 25th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
For all time - I only have one player, because there is nobody else. Deacon Jones. Baddest, meanest motherfucker in the history of the NFL.
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July 25th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I love Deacon, but I think Greg Lloyd—fifth degree blackbelt and tenth-degree asshole—might have whipped him in a fight.
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July 25th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
1. Mario – There’s no player out there that I want to see kick ass more than Mario
2. Demeco – If he’s not on everyone’s list, you better have a fucking good explanation. And let me save you a little time. Your explanation SUCKS!
3. Andre – Even though I HATE University of Miami
4. Teh Schaub – I really liked how he played last year and I hope he can stay healthy. He made our offense dangerous
5. Dunta - Still has the greatest quote in Texan history with the “how many 180 pound guys do you see bring the wood like I do?” line.
Honorable mention: Owen Daniels, Amobi, Fred, Kevin Bentley (Northwestern connection) and I hope to have good reason to add Super Steve soon
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1. Reggie Bush
2. Vince Young
3. Peyton Manning
4. Tony Romo
5. Tom Brady
Ha! Just kidding. Would you ban me from the site if I actually put that?
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Here’s a real list
1. Derrik Brooks – During the NFL dark ages (the years between the Oilers and Texans) I pulled for the Bucs. Hey, I live 2 hrs away.
2. Luis Castillo – Northwestern connection
3. Steve Smith – Gotta love the little guy who can kick ass – even if his ass kicking days may be behind him
4. John Lynch – See Derrik Brooks
5. Adrian Peterson – I know this won’t be popular with the UT crowd here, but I don’t give a shit about that and I loved watching that guy run last year.
Guys who might have been on my list last year include Tomlinson before he pulled that pussy shit in the playoffs last year and Zach Thomas before he signed with the dirty whores.
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July 25th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
@Vega: Ha! Just kidding. Would you ban me from the site if I actually put that?
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Yes, though because I am a Michigan fan, I will totally claim Tom Brady when it suits me. But, otherwise, I damn near threw up when you said Reggie Bush before I read #2.
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July 25th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I’m not entirely sure what constitutes as active (Plummer hasn’t turned in his retirement papers!), but I’ll try to go with people who are likely to play next year.
1) Dunta Robinson: 170 pounds of torque, yet the man hits like John Lynch. He plays the run as well as any CB in the league arguably, and his cover skills are respectable considering he’s never had a pass rush to help him out.
2) Andre Johnson: Quietly the best receiver in the game. I can’t wait to see what he can do on the big stage if we can ever slide into the play-offs.
3) Mario Williams: These top five are becoming a bit repetitive. The man is a monster though, and somehow manages to not be a cocky douche.
4) DeMeco Ryans: Possibly on his way to a HOF career; he’s up there with Dre as arguably the best player in the history of the Texans.
5) Fred Bennett: What can I say? I’m a cornerback guy, and this guy has all the tools to be a great player for the next decade. I’m not expecting a Cromartie-like year out of him, but people are going to know who he is after next season.
As for my non-Texans… I don’t really think about it much, but I’ll give it a shot.
1) Marshawn Lynch: No offense to Okoye, but I was secretly hoping the Texans would grab him in last year’s draft. He doesn’t have ridiculous speed like AD, but he runs the ball hard between the tackles, blocks well, and catches the ball out of the backfield. I think he’ll carry the Bills to the playoffs this season.
2) Champ Bailey: Here’s another CB for you. The man is simply nasty. Does anyone remember the Denver-NE playoff game a few years ago? He single-handedly won that game for them, and he has bailed out the Snake plenty of times so I owe him.
3) MJD: I’m allowed to pick somebody on the Jags, right? I just love the little bowling ball.
4) Bob Sanders: Much in the same way that I like Dunta, I like Sanders. He’s not a huge guy, but he brings the pain.
5) Hines Ward: He make me smirre.
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July 25th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
@Matt: As a Northwestern alum and a resident of Miami for 8 years, I fucking hate Tom Brady. Actually, if you had asked us to put together a list of the 5 active NFL players I’d like to see beaten with a 9 iron, that would be it.
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Although I’d find a way to cheat and include TO.
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July 25th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
@Nash: Agreed on MJ-D and Ward. If I am leaving off Michigan guys solely because they are Michigan guys, those two are on my list or close to it.
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I HATE Marshawn Lynch, but I have no rational reason for it.
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July 25th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
@Nash: I considered MJD. I really respect him as a player and I’m sure I’d be a big fan of his if he played for a team I didn’t hate. As a guy who was generally too small (but BIG where it counts!) I tend to pull for the guys who are considered undersized.
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Since he plays for the Jags, however, I hope his knees meet the end of a sledge hammer.
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July 25th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
@Vega: Oddly enough, I don’t hate the Jags. By which I mean I would root for them in the Super Bowl over any NFC team. I still want them to lose horribly when we play them, but I don’t want to see their key players murdered and/or infected with SuperAIDS.
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July 25th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
@Matt: “Double-Ender”? How in the name of Durga can you mention dildos in a post about the Texans and the Oilers? Since I don’t have allot of time I’m only going to list my top 5 favorite Oilers.
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1. Earl Campbell - DUH.
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2. Warren Moon - If you included the yardage he passed for in the CFL, he would easily have the record for passing yards.
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3. Mike Renfro - The man had heart.
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4. Billy “White Shoes” Johnson - Best return man of all time.
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5. Robert Brazile - He was a beast.
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July 25th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Texans:
1) Andre - best WR in the NFL, a quiet leader, a professional who never complained (loudly) about Mittens
2) Mario - what’s scarier than a game changing, once in a lifetime DE? One with a huge chip on his shoulder, thanks to the Pro Bowl snub
3) DeMeco - great player, better person
4) Dunta - fearless, mentored the Fred
5) Schaub - brought stability, professionalism, and leadership to a position that never had such qualities.
All time -
1)Andre
2)Mario
3)DeMeco
4)Dunta
5)Schaub
Screw everyone else. Once the Texans were awarded to Houston, all other allegiances died.
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July 25th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Texans:
1. Demeco. I have his signed jersey and can’t think of any other player on the team who better combines instincts, athleticism, and brains.
2. Dunta. I was a very undersized offensive lineman in high school and I will always love little guys why play above their size.
3. Mario. No more need be said.
4. Eric Winston. Athletic, nasty right tackle? Yes please.
5. Ephraim Salaam. Funniest Texan ever and really played above his head for us.
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Other:
1. Chris Cooley. Read his blog or you fail the internet.
2. Big Ben. Succeeds despite O-line (the anti-Carr) and saved my fantasy team last year.
3. Jay Cutler. No good reason other than an expectation of future beastliness.
4. Hines Ward. Nothing makes me angrier than receivers that don’t block, so I’ll give love to one who does it well.
5. Champ Bailey. Hey opposing quarterbacks, you’ll only be throwing on one side of the field this game.
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July 26th, 2008 at 5:37 am
Okay. Now for my top five all time Texans:
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1. Andre Johnson - The only consistent offensive threat we’ve ever had. The epitome of class.
2. Mario Williams - Because this season he’ll make Peyton his little bitch.
3. DeMeco Ryans - Totally underrated and was the steal of the draft 2 years ago.
4. Dunta Robinson - He hits like a big guy.
5. Amobi Akoye - He’s wicked smart and freakishly athletic.