My crush note to Peter King
Jul 28, 2008 Little Dickie Justice, Pancakes McTard, Peter King sucks balls, Ranting
Dearest Peter,
Though we all know I could never speak as eloquently as my erstwhile co-blogger, Matt, I am going to add my dos centavos to your high-level of discourse when it comes to Texans fans.
Your obviously well-though-out comment about Texans fans reminds me of an old boss I used to have. During one of our usual discussions when I was questioning his lack of intelligence and morality, his rejoinder was that I “lacked a sense of urgency.” You see, in my boss’ world, running around without a plan or goal was showing a sense of urgency, while coming up with a plan and executing the plan meant that I didn’t care.
How does this apply to you? Thanks for asking! You seem to have this odd belief that, just because you wear some makeup, a dress, and a pig nose, one is a “passionate fan.” In the real world, one would say these people have some horrific father issues, but that’s neither here nor there. The simple truth is that dressing in drag does not equal passion (unless, of course, that’s your goal, as Pancakes would attest).
Perhaps, to you, passion means catching players when they jump into the stands after a score? Or is it flashing gang signs to your dog-killing quarterback? Making sweet love to your sister?
Do we need more fat guys to paint their bodies?
Do we need to turn the AC down to -20? The heater up to 140?
Or, like a Dallas fan, do we need to beat our wives after a particularly close loss? Is that passion to you, Mr. King?
Can you please forward me your quantifiable passion formula? Because if there’s anybody who knows about passion, you are that person.
Maybe, just maybe, we should take a moment to think the unthinkable. Perhaps, you’ve never as much as even watched a game involving the Texans. Perhaps, you don’t even like football. There are no other truly rational reasons for you to state, objectively, one of the most irrational statements uttered by a “sports” writer since Richard Justice’s latest column on the Texans.
If your idea of evoking passion was to piss off the Texans Nation en masse, mission accomplished…you fucking East coast hack asshole.
FOAD,
bfd
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July 28th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
I am hereby incorporating “FOAD” into at least one e-mail conversation or blog rant every day now until the NFL season begins. Love that acronym. Thanks for the reminder, bfd.
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July 28th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
@BFD: If my tubes weren’t tied, I’d want to have your baby! (Ok..and Matt’s too.)
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July 28th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
@BFD: If my tubes weren’t tied, I’d want to have your baby! (Ok..and Matt’s too.)
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July 28th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Ok..that was weird. Not the “have your baby” part, but the double post.
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
“you fucking East coast hack asshole.”
No offense taken, bfd.
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July 28th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
@Jersey Bill: Just…just…sorry, man. *hangs head in shame*
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July 29th, 2008 at 6:57 am
I have to be devil’s advocate here. BFD, didn’t you just post something about no one wearing or showing Texans gear about a month ago? Isn’t that his point? I’m not agreeing with him, I think the endless sellouts for a team that hasn’t won dick, the bullpen and the amazing tailgating ruins his argument, but on the surface, I see where the opinion comes from. He’s wrong and ill informed, but still
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July 29th, 2008 at 8:28 am
@Lee - UofTOrange: To me, the difference is in setting and raising expectations versus unilaterally and irrationally saying we aren’t passionate. It’s a substantial difference. Can our fans improve? Yes. Are we the worst? No way. No group of fans comes close to the fair-weathered-ness of cowfuckers fans.
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July 29th, 2008 at 8:34 am
If I were an anonymous blogger, I would go by The Erstwhile Co-blogger. (You know, assuming there was someone else blogging with me. Otherwise, the “Co” part would just seem odd.)
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July 29th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Has anyone emailed King to let him know he’s a toolbox? I don’t know if it would be of any use (I once emailed Dr. Z to let him know he’s a moron and he didn’t respond) but it might be fun to let him know how wrong he is.
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July 29th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Yeah - as a matter of fact, Steph posted something at TexansTalk.com asking the board to post their emails to P.King. It’s gone like 5 or 6 pages deep.
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Wait - here it is: http://texanstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52004
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His email is listed in the original post.
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July 29th, 2008 at 9:57 am
@SOLIS: Ah. Will be interesting to see if he responds. If he does, my guess is that it will be in typical ignorant, self-serving fashion.
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Loser.
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July 29th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
nice post–but come on, don’t blame Skins’ fans for the sins of Peter King
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July 29th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
@Sid: I didn’t. I just claimed that y’all have psycho-sexual issues to sort out.
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July 29th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
@SOLIS: FWIW he didn’t mention anything in his MMQB mailbag today: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/peter_king/07/29/mail/index.html
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Figures.
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July 29th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Yes indeed sir, well put. It needs to be again repeated that he made these claims with NO evidence to support the statement. To me, that’s a personal attack. When it’s a personal attack - fuckin’ gloves come off.