Old Five And Dimers Like Me
Aug 11, 2008 2008 Season, 2008 Training Camp, Amobi Okoye is an adult, Big dudes doing the little things, Corky Johnson, Daddy's girl, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Duane Brown as Eliza Doolittle, Morlon Greenwood, Okam's Razor, Preseason 2008, President Lyndon Veins Johnson, Super Mario
…aaaaand, we’re back!
Back from where, you ask? Well, for the first time since Sophia was born back in February, my wife and I were able to escape for a kidless vacation this past weekend. And how better to spend a romantic weekend than in Houston, eating Mexican food, listening to live music, and watching your Houston JUGGERNAUT in action?
Speaking of live music, if you’ve never seen Billy Joe Shaver in concert, do yourself a favor and make that happen. The man is a living legend (he wrote 90% of Waylon Jennings’ Honkytonk Heroes album as well as songs for the Allman Brothers, Jerry Jeff Walker, and Bobby Bare) and, even better, completely out of his mind. He spent two songs explaining how to throw a punch, one song trying to kick a woman in the head, and at least two songs flapping his arms like he was going to fly. But, regardless, the show was fantastic. And I defy you to show me another 69-year-old performer who comes on at 11PM and plays until well after 1AM.
Other thoughts about the game and the weekend in general:
- First off, huge thanks to Tim and his better half for taking us to the game and just generally showing us a good time around Houston. A+ effort as always.
- A separate thank you to Tim’s dad for giving us the tickets.
- He got close last year, but this is going to be the season that Mario Williams makes all the doubters feel silly. You wouldn’t think he could look appreciably better than he did last year, but you would be wrong. On one play, Mario shoved Ryan Clady (all 325 lbs of him) back about six feet and snared Selvin Young with one hand, bringing the RB down for a two-yard loss. The funny thing was Clady was in proper to position to block Mario—he had his butt low and was squared up correctly—yet Mario just flung him out of the way as if he was nothing.
- DeMeco Ryans is very, very good. This is not news. What is news, however, is that he seems to have found another gear as well, as he was disrupting plays in the backfield with surprising regularity during the first two series.
- Ninfa’s is really, really good. It’s so good, in fact, that every time I eat there, I refuse to eat Mexican food in Little Rock for months afterward.
- Is there some reason Jacques Reeves was giving a five- to seven-yard cushion to the slot WRs? Because I can’t figure out what it would be. I mean, his one asset is speed, right? So shouldn’t he play a little closer, knowing that he can keep up stride-for-stride? Someone needs to answer this.
- Will Demps looks very good in run support. He is one of five Texans who can claim that praise following Sunday’s game.
- Petey Faggins made one tackle where, before I realized it was him, I said “wow…great hit!” Then I felt dirty and started to question my own existence. Thankfully, Faggins then completely lost outside contain on Anthony Aldridge’s run, turning a 4-yard loss into a 19-yard gain. All was immediately right with the world.
- In other news, Petey tackles very well when he is hitting a stopped receiver from the side.
- Contrary to what some random ‘tards will tell you, there is no QB controversy, nor should there be one. Matt Schaub looked fantastic on his first four throws and the timing route he fired to Andre Davis was a throw that (a) Zoolander never could have made and (b) our offense has rarely, if ever, featured before. Schaub threw it to Davis’ back shoulder and the ball was halfway there before Davis ever made his turn. It is obviously something they’ve been working on, though, as Andre knew without a doubt where the ball would be when he broke. Impressive as hell. That throw is also why I think Matt forced the fifth throw into coverage—he’s apparently been working with Davis on a lot of short routes and precision throws and he’s comfortable throwing to Andre regardless of the situation. Was it a bad throw? Of course. It was into triple coverage and David Anderson was open to the left. But it was an understandable early-season mistake.
- Speaking of QBs, Sage Rosenfels did look good, especially on the throw to Anderson. But what apparently doesn’t come across on television (as I haven’t seen anyone talking about it) is that Sage has a serious case of happy feet back there. Oh, sure, he’s nails and he will stay in and keep his eyes downfield, but his footwork is pretty bad. He made that very nice throw to Jacoby Jones, but he was practically dancing in place before he launched it. And I can’t recall him stepping up into the pocket much at all.
- Good news! There was actually a pocket the QBs could have stepped into. I am already prepared to admit that I was wrong on Duane Brown; that kid looked fantastic Saturday night. His footwork was nearly flawless, his technique was solid, and he used his hands very well. Ephraim Salaam just got Wally Pipped, I do believe.
- I am going to tell myself that the injury to Louis Green and the ensuing five-minute delay took the steam out of our drive and that is why they had to settle for a field goal. I am telling myself this and you can’t convince me otherwise.
- Remember not that long ago when Chris pointed out that Ahman Green’s 2007 injury was hardly a fluke—it was a straight-on hit to the knee, which happens to all running backs multiple times per year? Well, you know, AT LEAST IT WAS A HIT!!!! Seriously, you are going to hurt yourself on the VERY FIRST PLAY OF THE YEAR without so much as the defense getting a hand on you? Really? Honestly? I don’t think I am alone in saying that I am fine with the team taking the cap hit and giving Green his walking limping papers.
- Cadillac Bar’s brunch buffet is fan-friggin’-tastic. It is doubly great when you have 5 or 6 mimosas. What’s that, you say? Mimosas are lame? Good sir, the fact that I am allowed to drink alcohol with breakfast without drawing scorn from others is far from lame. Plus, you know…vitamin C. No scurvy for me!
- Was it just me, or did it seem like Morlon Greenwood was trying to make me look like a jerk? I spend two friggin’ weeks defending the guy and arguing that he’s way better than we give him credit for being and…um…wow. He was horrid Saturday night. No one should get owned like that on a Jay Cutler run, yet Morlon did. And he was abused in the short passing game as well. NOT GOOD, MORLON.
- Thanks to Lee, stacy, and grungedave recommending breakfast spots. We tried to go to The Breakfast Klub on Saturday, but the line was around the block.
- The more I think about it, the less problem I have with Jacoby’s second punt return. Granted, he did everything wrong—he ran backward, he changed directions too many times, he waited too long to switch hands—but he also juked past at least five would-be tacklers and, at the moment he fumbled, was about six inches from beating the last guy and taking that punt to the house. No, I don’t want to see him doing that again, but I love that he is still that confident in the return game. That’s the swagger we saw last year until he was destroyed by Hunter Smith. Just hold on to the ball, son!
- Steve Slaton has ridiculous speed, but could get knocked over by a stiff breeze. There were three plays where if he had made a real move or ran with a little more power, he could have made something big happen. On both of the runs, he got arm-tackled by the last possible defender and, on the pass play, he thought he could juke an NFL lineman with nothing more than a head bob. This ain’t Rutgers, man.
- The interior line of the future, aka Amobi Okoye and Frank Okam, really impressed me. Amobi blew up a running play early and seemed to be playing with a better motor than at this point last season. Big Frank annihilated two blockers and blew up a running play of his own late in the game. Frank is still raw, no doubt about that, but he did nothing to lower my expectations of him.
- Why is food so much cheaper in Houston than in Little Rock? I don’t get it.
- Dear Travis Johnson, Please stop diving late into piles just to “prove” that you are playing with intensity. It’s stupid and it is going to cost us yards at some point. In fact, why don’t you do us all a favor and just leave? Love, Matt.
- David Anderson: Helluva game from the worst dancer in the history of the world. I agree with Tim’s assessment, however, that we might have the best receiving corps in the NFL top to bottom. We definitely have one of the fastest.
- I have no opinion on Chris Taylor getting the bulk of the carries. Whether it is to see just we he has to offer or simply to keep the other people healthy, I am fine with it. I would like it, however, if he could actually get 4 or 5 yards/carry in these games. Whatever.
- Zac Diles: A+.
- OH…I almost forgot to mention this, but Kevin Bentley looks…how can I say this…FAT. Not at all what I expected from ol’ LVJ. When he came out for special teams work, he was hopping up and down to loosen up, and you could see a gut jiggling. NOT COOL, Kevin. Do you want to lose the bet? Is that it?!?!
- Did anyone see Antwaun Molden? Because I didn’t notice him at all. Also, could we verify that Tim Bulman and Rosie Colvin were actually at the game?
- And, finally, though I already mentioned it once, it bears repeating that Mario Williams is an absolute man. Be afriad, AFC South. Be very afraid.
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August 11th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Just for you Matt, the Houston TV announcers called that early ‘Dre run an “End Around…..Reverse”. They were so close to having it right, but then reverted to being retards.
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Oh, and they also kept referring to Turk’s run as a planned punt fake. Because I’m sure that the oncoming punt block from his left had nothing to do with the running upfield.
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And no, we couldn’t see Sage’s ‘Happy Feet’. There was a lot we couldn’t see, because EVERY SINGLE play fake totally fucked up the camera operators.
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And on the good side of the kicking game, Kris Brown is nails.
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August 11th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Yeah, I should’ve mentioned Kris Brown. He came out for that 52-yarder and approached it like he was kicking an extra point. I’m not sure when he sold his immortal soul to the devil, but I really like the end result. I say we let him kick anything shorter than 65 yards. I don’t think he’ll miss.
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“Reverse.” Someone should die for that. It’s not difficult. Imagine if they kept calling a “punt” a “field goal.”
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August 11th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Damn, I still haven’t seen the game thanks to a) NFL Network didn’t have it scheduled until 10pm last night, and b) then they decided change that to 1am just to screw with those of us that have a fucking job.
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But at least now I know what to look for. So thanks.
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August 11th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Damn, I should have told you to get there early. There isn’t much better than a breakfast from Breakfast Klub.
Glad you had a good time!
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August 11th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
@Matt: I believe Molden was suited up but they decided not to play him, because of some illness, I read it somewhere and it may have been on the texans home page message board.
I didn’t see much of reeves’ game so I don’t know how well he did but he did look bigger and stronger than he did last year,if that means anything.
I am also surprised that you did not mention Adibi lookin like the tackle machine he’s supposed to be.
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August 11th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
from Manfull’s blog today:
(Molden was held out of the game because of an injury he’s trying to get over. He should play this week.)
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August 11th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
@James: Re: Adibi–that’s another brain fart on my part. I meant to mention him and Brown in the actual post.
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August 11th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
@James: No kidding. Adibi & Diles should have Texans’ fans happy about the future of the LB corps.
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August 11th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Wait, you ended up at the Cadillac Bar? Shit, my house is about one block from there…
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August 11th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
The great thing about Breakfast Klub is that, even though I live twenty minutes away by car, I can pretty much just walk out my front door in the morning and get in line. That place is always packed-nuts.
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August 11th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
When I saw LVJ on Saturday I thought Hugene Seals had snuck on the field. Looks just like that old jackhammering SOB.
I hope that DAndersons hair was a joke, prank or debt payoff. I can’t cheer for any man who looks like that on purpose. It’s a good thing he got that fucking goofy ass dance out of his system, because you know Kubes will not allow him near a pigskin in the redzone. Ever. Lest we will be subjected to his idocy again. I half expected it to start raining because of that shit.
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August 11th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
@Matt: No mention of tailgating? Please don’t tell me you came to a Texan’s game and didn’t tailgate.
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August 11th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
@GlassHalfFull: Actually, I didn’t. It was hot and muggy out, so we drank at Ninfa’s, then went to the game, where we proceeded to drink inside. Viva Club Level!
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August 11th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
@Matt: So, if you had to place a bet today on who your starting RB will be you’d say _____
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August 11th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
@bigwood25: shit.
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OK, no, I’d say Chris Brown until he gets hurt, which he will.
/bangs face on desk
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August 11th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
At least we don’t have any important players undergoing knee surgery today (see McGahee, Willis) or anyone from our WR core dealing with a cracked shoulder and being out 6-8 weeks (see Engram, Bobby).
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that’s good news, right? Even if our RB corps if filled with a bunch of Initech employees.
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August 11th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Fighting for yardage also increases the risk of fumbles. At the point in the game where Slaton was playing, the coaches probably just wanted him to take the sure yards, and to hang onto the ball. That said, I don’t think he’s going to break a lot of tackles. At best, he ends up being a Brian Westbrook.
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August 11th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
@kozanack: “At best, he ends up being a Brian Westbrook.”
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Somehow I think we’ll be able to tolerate such ineptitude. I remember hearing Bill Parcells on ESPN Radio last year when someone asked him about Reggie Bush vs. Westbrook, and he pointed out that Westbrook’s legs were apparently tree trunks compared to Reggie Bush’s, and that’s why he thought Reggie Bush would never be the same sort of player that Brian Westbrook is. He said Bush just didn’t have the leg strength that Westbrook has which is why Bush can’t run consistently. I’d be curious to know where Slaton falls on that scale. It’s probably hard to get personnel opinions out of Bill Parcells these days, though.
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August 11th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Yeah whenever you go to the Breakfast Klub (You should’ve read the menu just for shits and giggles coz every word that has a c on it they turned into a K. i.e pankakes) especially on a saturday you gotta get there early coz the line will be around the block. But it is worth the wait since their Katfish and Grits is so damn good. It’ll keep you full the whole day. While you were there you could’ve at least tried Taco’s a go go’s famous fish tacos since the place is right around the block. Just follow the waiting line around the Breakfast Klub and you’ll see it.
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August 11th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
@Jordan: I’ll put both of those places on the “must do” for the next trip. I fucking LOVE fish tacos. (Which sounds like it has something to do with lesbians, but doesn’t.)
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August 11th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
@Matt: Yeah everytime I say fish tacos, I giggle like a five year old. It sounds dirty to me for some reason.
Yall gotta check this blog out about Oldman Green.
Its titled Ahman Green Fall down go boom.
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Ahman-Green-fall-down-go-boom;_ylt=Aiwto.07pfmYyPFZ45Pu8qBDubYF?urn=nfl,99796
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August 11th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
@socctty - Although comparing Slaton to Westbrook looks like a slam, it wasn’t intended as such. I, too, would be happy if Slaton becomes a Westbrook for us.
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August 12th, 2008 at 12:35 am
Personally I’m more of a Berryhill’s fan for fish tacos. Good Brunch too — at least the one by my house. The Sunday Brunch is basically people that haven’t yet gone to bed from Saturday Night. Total lunacy.
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August 12th, 2008 at 8:11 am
@txnpwrlifter: David Anderson’s hair was a result of a goofy talk radio prank. He’s been doing stuff for the 1560 am afternoon show. Very funny, good sense of humor about his place in the world. David Anderson was open ALL night.
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Dangit. I missed a Matt sighting. After your Peter King rant, the boys at the tailgate want to meet you.
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I’m a Empire Cafe breakfast fan–used to live up the streetfrom there. Hunters style eggs, mmmmmmm.
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August 12th, 2008 at 10:43 am
@socctty: Bill Parcells is a smart man, well at least about Bush, because that’s the exact thing I said about Bush. He looked like a guy who worked out to look good with his shirt off at the beach…..but skinny ass legs. Not a good build for a RB. I might be a little biased, but I think a running back should have legs like Earl Campbell. Even smaller RB’s like Barry and Dunn were more bottom heavy.