Kickoff “Schaub, Stupidity, Suggestions, and Snatch” Edition
Sep 23, 2008 Boobies, Drunky Drunkerton, H/T Eric, Kickoff
In other news, Gary Kubiak hates Sage Rosenfels. According to Coach K, Matt Schaub is still the starter for your Houston JUGGERNAUT. Because, you know, a 50.3 rating and performance so poor that ten different people have asked me what the hell is wrong with Schaub are grounds for keeping your job.
Damn. Merrill Hoge might be retarded. And, by “might be,” I mean “is definitely.” But I still liked him when he was ripping on VY and standing by his comments. Now it seems he’s explaining himself. He doesn’t HATE Vince; it’s just Hoge’s job to be critical of players and he’s sorry if he offended anyone. OK. Whatever. Wuss.
I’m sort of speculating. David Thornton teased Kerry Collins about how slow he looks when running the football. Collins then told Thornton to shut his black mouth and bring him a beer. (Note to Titans fans: No, the drunk racist jokes never get old.)
Finally.
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September 23rd, 2008 at 11:10 am
Solid tackling technique! Notice how she wraps up the other player…sweet!
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September 23rd, 2008 at 11:42 am
Maybe Sage got to Rhonda before Travis Johnson did?
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September 23rd, 2008 at 12:10 pm
@grungedave:
Does a Bris count as a blessed cock?
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September 23rd, 2008 at 12:31 pm
@Papabear: I can definitively say no.
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September 23rd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I still do not understand what anyone has seen in Sage to say he would play any better. There were ELEVEN drops in the game
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September 23rd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
@Lee – UofTOrange: I’m just curious how many of those drops were in bounds? The only reason I ask is I’ve seen a number of people mention Andre’s drops but they seem to be counting balls he dropped where there was no chance of him coming down in bounds, including in the end zone. Basically, can you call it a drop if it’s uncatchable?
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September 23rd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
The QB rating is pretty awful, but part of that was his desperation heave at the end.
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I think that the entire Texans offense, including teh Schaub, isn’t clicking yet. That the line with three new guys and a new scheme is figuring out their deal, that AJ is knocking off rust and that Schaub played unwell with people in his kitchen. I think that all teams playing Schaub should just do an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty at least once. It would totally be worth the 15 yards.
Oh, and it doesn’t help when your ZBS is facing what ZBS’s usually struggle a bit against–physical defensive lines.
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Sage has looked bad on the road too against good teams, like the Colts game last year.
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I’m in the wait and see camp. A couple of passes caught here and there, you never know what would have happened. More thoughts: http://blogs.chron.com/texanschick/2008/09/want_to_bench_matt_schaub_here_1.html
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September 23rd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
@LoneSpot: So call it 8, even though I frankly believe that ball could have been caught and his feet could have come down in bounds. I think it looked worse because he couldn’t believe he didn’t catch it.
He was 17 for 37, give him 8 of those back and he’s 24 for 37, not nearly as awful. And if he got those 8, it’s unlikely he needs to throw 37 times.
I’m not saying he hasn’t looked terrible, he clearly has. What I’m saying is, what has Sage ever done that makes anyone think he’s better?
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September 23rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
@Lee – UofTOrange:
Agreed. Do we not remember that Sage went unwanted by the Dolphins! The Dolphins – a team who hasn’t had a quarterback since Ace Ventura came out! Sage is not the answer – he just did nicely against a prevent defense a few times last year. Big deal.
Also, on the “drops” issue – if you are a QB and your WRs start dropping passes en masse – your first inclination is to be more precise with your passes. This can cause you to start guiding the ball instead of throwing it. Which often tends to make it sail right into the arms of dudes named “Finnegan”. Which is bad.
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September 23rd, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Steph said: “Oh, and it doesn’t help when your ZBS is facing what ZBS’s usually struggle a bit against–physical defensive lines.”
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True. But off the top of my head I can only really name one team in the league without a physical defense line: the Houston Texans. And we don’t get to play them very often. Which begs the question: why are we trying to install the ZBS in a division with Jacksonville and Tennessee? In a conference with San Diego, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, New England, Cleveland, Buffalo, etc. What in Denver and Atlanta’s recent history has suggested that this was the right course? I get that our linemen are still learning it, but just from a physics perspective, I don’t see how Chris Myers is ever going to hold his ground in this league. Because nearly every team (excluding the Texans) has a strong interior presence on the D-line.
I like the idea of athletic tackles, because defenses are electing to go with speed on the ends instead of size. But you just have to have a center and a guard big enough to hold up against the Haynesworths and Hamptons of the league. We can hate on Dallas all day long, but we should probably at least try to emulate their offensive line (ie, awesome 350-pound guards like Leonard Davis).
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September 23rd, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Trent Green gets his first start since your Texans nearly ended his life last year. Who was it that lit him up again? I’m sure Matt will link me to the pic. Go. Rams?
(Bulger is DONE. He’s completely gun-shy in the pocket, terribly inaccurate now for some odd reason, does NOTHING to stretch the field anymore, and has been completely clueless in Saunders’ offense…it can’t get any worse, so I applaud the move.)
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September 23rd, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Oh, and a big “FUCK YEAH, SONZ!!!”—I’ve made it to the Top 20 DGDB&D posters’ board! Hurray for on-the-job “productivity!”
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September 23rd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
@bigwood25: I expanded the list to 25 last week.
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September 23rd, 2008 at 4:51 pm
@Matt: How do I change my picture. This guy’s funny and all…
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September 23rd, 2008 at 5:21 pm
@LoneSpot: Nevermind…viewing the source file gave me a hint and voila!
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September 23rd, 2008 at 7:19 pm
@Steph:
Steph, I’m in that camp as well. I got a 30 pack of stones on ice and a bottle of 7. Livin the high life baby.
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September 23rd, 2008 at 9:26 pm
@Matt: You did. I’ll still try and break into the Top 20.
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September 24th, 2008 at 6:51 am
@Matt: Crap now I have to fight for 25 like one of those crappy mid-major basketball teams.
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September 24th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Hey! Matt has 25 people that read his blog now! His mother must be so happy!
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September 24th, 2008 at 8:53 am
@grungedave: I only like 24 of them, though.
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Seriously…people in Houston need their electricity back so we get back up over 400 hits/day. We are never going to crack 200K before May without Lee’s people getting their asses in gear.
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September 24th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Lee’s people are busy fixing the stadium. Priorities, ya know.
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September 24th, 2008 at 10:55 am
@Matt: DAMMIT IT’S NOT US!!!!!
Damn you Centerpoint for F’ing up and giving my company a bad name to go with it.
Just for kicks, this happened to me this morning:
6% without in my area
I finally got fed up about some downed lines and called Centerpoint. Lady was a complete biatch. I tried to tell her the area the lines are down in and she asked me for an address of the pole. I told her I had no idea but could tell her the intersection and the address of a business nearby. Nope, need the pole address. I said, so, you want me to leave work, drive to the pole, get out of my car, walk near a downed power line, go find the address and call you back? She said “I can’t do anything without that address”. I was none too happy. So I asked her if the system told her what was specifically down with my area. Her response “a section is down”. I said, what do you mean a section? Now, mind you, I trained the electric industry to people here for 2 years, I know almost everything there is to know about how poles and wires and substations and power in general works. She said to me “You wouldn’t understand if I explained it to you”.
So all in all, I’m emailing Bill White today.
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September 25th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
@Lee – UofTOrange:
If you plan on sending another letter to Bill White and/or Centerpoint, please tell them to kindly suck my balls. Thank you.