DGDB&D: a Texans blog.

Kickoff – “Jared Allen, Travis Johnson, and low hits” Edition

Nov 6, 2008 Albert Haynesworth can go to Hell, Anger, Fuck Jared Allen, God hates ugly, H/T Eric, High Motor must be a euphemism for White, Travis Johnson is a piece of shit

Jared Allen responds to Kubiak’s (correct) claim that Allen is a cheap-shot artist.  I respond to Jared Allen’s response.  Because fuck him, that’s why.

Wednesday, Allen said: “I don’t care. I don’t even know who the hell [Kubiak] is.

Right.  When asked “what do you think of Texans’ coach Gary Kubiak’s comments,” this is your response?  So, out of the gate, we’ve established that you are either a liar, a retard, or both.  Awesomeness.

So I don’t care. I’m worried about what coach [Brad] Childress thinks of me and what my peers in this league think of me.”

“And, to a lesser extent, what the nice officers who give me my field sobriety tests think of me.  I also used to care what my mom thought of me, but then she got on to me about drinking and decided to try and run her down with my car.  We don’t speak much these days.  Wait…what was the question?”

Television replays show Allen hitting Schaub below the knee and from behind, but Allen said it was neither intentional nor late.

I accidentally fling my shoulder in the back of someone’s knee ALL THE TIME.  I know exactly what he means; that shit was accidental.

He said he spoke to Schaub after the game and was aware of no hard feelings.

“People can say what they want,” Allen said.

OK, then I say you are a cockeating asstaster with no soul and a cheap and dirty player to boot.  I also say that I would pay $50 to watch you get sodomized by a syphilitic boar.

“I’m not a dirty player. My reputation speaks for itself.

You really wanna go there?

I talked to Schaub after the game. I said, ‘Hey man, how is your knee?’

So then you WERE aware that your hit was the cause of his injury, despite his staying in the game for a while thereafter?  Sounds to me like you knew such a hit could cause an injury then, Jared.  You fucking cunt.

We’re competitors.

“And since I got blocked out of the play, I decided to compete by flinging my body into his most vulnerable joint.  I’m a warrior goddamnit!”

He’s got the ball in his hand.

Actually, no he didn’t.  He’d already thrown it.  Which is why he had stopped rolling out after the little hop and why both feet were firmly on the ground.

I’m trying to take down the quarterback.

“EVEN AFTER THE PLAY IS OVER BECAUSE I AM A ‘HIGH MOTOR’ GUY AND THAT’S HOW I ROLL!”

I wouldn’t do anything intentionally to hurt people. If the coach wants to spout off that I’m a dirty player because they lost the game, well, whatever.”

What if he wants to spout off that you are a dirty player because you are a dirty player?  I mean, in addition to the late, cheap hit that injured Schaub, you were pretty blatantly trying to hit him low prior to that play as well.  Was that an accident, too?

***

So, all that dumb shit aside, here’s the part about all of this that is really bugging me.  Last season, Travis Johnson was castigated by the Dolphins and the media for yelling at Trent Green after Green threw his brain in front of Travis’ knee and knocked himself unconscious.  Somehow, because he yelled (in anger, not taunting), Johnson was the bad guy and was a dirty player.  But here, Allen dives into a QB’s knee after the play is over, blatantly trying to hurt the guy, after doing the SAME THING earlier in the game, and half the media and fans are rushing to Allen’s side about how he’s just “a hardnosed player” with “a high motor” and  he “didn’t do anything wrong.”  How does this make any sense?  Had he gotten up and done his sack dance afterward—the worst sack celebration in the league, by the way—would he have been the bad guy then?

I loathe the race card on most occasions, but I’m going to pull it here.  This shit is racial.  If Albert Haynesworth or, better example, Leonard Little did that exact same move, Peter King and the rest of the baby-raping MSM would be talking about how dirty the hit was and how the league should fine him and possibly suspend him.  Here?  Nothing.  Even ESPN’s Paul Kuharsky wrote to Eric that:

It’s not getting more press from [Kuharsky] because I don’t find it outrageous.

By the letter of the law, the hit that I’ve seen in super slow mo is illegal and I expect he’ll be fined. I’ve made my calls to find out if he is. I’d typically learn about it Friday and I expect I’ll chime in on it then.

Still, I think it’s a defender instinctively doing what he had to to get to the QB and not pausing to consider where exactly he’d be hitting him…

Or even stopping to consider WHETHER he should hit him.

You know, if Allen had made any effort whatsoever that would suggest he was actually trying to tackle Schaub—put his hands up, try to wrap up his feet, whatever—I might buy the “he thought the play was still going” argument.  But, when you dive into the QB’s knee with your head TWICE in the span of about five minutes, whether the play is ongoing becomes irrelevant.  You are simply trying to hurt that guy.  And that, by definition, makes you a cheap and dirty player.  So fuck you, Jared Allen.  Fuck you right in the ear. I literally hope you die.