DGDB&D: a Texans blog.

The 2008 Season: A Retrospective on Emotions

Jan 2, 2009 2008 Season, 2009 Season, Fire Richard Smith, Rosencopter, Self-Referential Stuff

So, I was looking at the Schmap widget over there on the sidebar and trying to remember my reaction to each game, both in terms of the instant result and in terms of my feelings toward the season at that moment.  Here’s what I came up with.

Week 1.  Lose to the Steelers 38-17.
Instant Reaction:  Whoa.  What the fuck just happened?
Big Picture View:  Holy Christ, is our line REALLY that bad?

Week 2.  Hurricane Gustav Ike prevents my use of a press pass at the Baltimore game.
Instant Reaction:  Motherfucker.
Big Picture View:  Oh, well…this gives us another week to get our shit straight.

Week 3.  Lose to BESFs 31-12
Instant Reaction:  Really?  I drove all the way to Nashville for this?
Big Picture View:  Ya know, this could be a REALLY long season.

Week 4.  Lose to Jags 30-27 (OT)
Instant Reaction:  I would really, really like to light Richard Smith on fire in front of his loved ones.
Big Picture View:  I blame you, Richard Smith.  And God.

Week 5.  Lose to Indy 31-27
Instant Reaction:  Why?  Why did he jump?  I mean…just…slide.  Oh, oh god.  No.
Big Picture View:  0-4, huh?  I wonder what bleach tastes like.

Week 6.  Defeat the Dolphins 29-28
Instant Reaction:  Goddamn, that was awesome!
Big Picture View:  Wish those fucking BESFs would lose a couple games.

Week 7.  Defeat the Lions 28-21
Instant Reaction:  Phew.  That was too close.
Big Picture View:  Richard Smith is going to be the death of me.  Why hast thou forsaken me, Jesus?

Week 8.  Defeat the Bengals 35-6
Instant Reaction:  Hot damn!  3-4!  That was a beat down, bitches.
Big Picture View:  We just might sneak back into this thing.

Week 9. Lose to the Vikings 28-21
Instant Reaction:  Fuck you, Jared Allen, you inbred, alcoholic shitstain.
Big Picture View:  Sonofabitch.  And we were this close to being relevant.

Week 10.  Lose to the Ravens 41-13
Instant Reaction:  I wonder if its possible to strangle yourself with your own hands?
Big Picture View:  Well, at least Richard Smith is gone.  Right?  RIGHT??

Week 11.  Lose to the Colts 33-27
Instant Reaction:  *sobs quietly*
Big Picture View:  I suppose it’s time to start looking at the draft.  And to up the drinking, if that’s even possible.

Week 12.  Defeat the Browns 16-6
Instant Reaction:  You don’t fool me, Richard.  Or, perhaps more accurately, Braylon Edwards must’ve bet on the Texans.
Big Picture View:  Yeah, yeah…I’m still looking at Brian Orakpo, jerks.

Week 13. Defeat the Jags 30-17
Instant Reaction:  Mario Williams OWNS prime time football, bitches.
Big Picture View:  Remember that scene in Castaway where you realize Tom Hanks considered suicide a while back but thought better of it?  I’m there.

Week 14.  Defeat the Packers 24-21
Instant Reaction:  Umm, I’m not familiar with this “road win” you speak of.  Are we sure it really happened?  Sweet.
Big Picture View:  Damn, we might just salvage this season.  Not counting that pesky “make the playoffs” angle.

Week 15.  Defeat the BESFs 13-12
Instant Reaction: Well I’ll be good goddamned!
Big Picture View:  Wait…we’re 7-7 with the Raiders and Bears left?  We could go 9-7!

Week 16.  Lose to the Raiders 27-16
Instant Reaction:  This is definitely the worst loss of the Kubiak tenure and maybe the worst in Texans history.  Way to fuck the winning record.
Big Picture View:  If this leads to the termination of Richard Smith, I suppose I can live with it.  But the next DC better not consider Jesse Nading a coverage option.

Week 17.  Defeat the Bears 31-24
Instant Reaction:  I suppose it’s better than losing.
Big Picture View:  8-8, huh?  That’s nice.  Not as nice as playing next weekend, though.

In the end, even a pessimist like myself has to admit that 8-8 following an 0-4 start is about as good as one could hope.  That said, there are so many moments from this year—the Rosencopter, the J’ville game, the Oakland game—that leave one with a distinct “what if” taste in his or her mouth.  I suppose the good news is that the offense is very, very good and the defense had its biggest tumor removed earlier this week.

The bad news, of course, is that it will be at least a year before we find out if that’s enough.