Kickoff – “Viva Quan!” Edition
Epic fail immortalized. Go ahead and guess which Texans moment shows up on the NFL.com 2008 Season video. Flight 18, you are cleared for take off.
Implementation is key. PFT has created a one-stop-shop for rumors about coaching and coordinator vacancies. Odds that they really give detailed coverage to the Houston search?
Dead Man Walkin’. From the mothership, here’s the list of restricted and unrestricted free agent Texans. So help me, Durga, if we resign Petey, someone dies. Possibly me.
Finally. Thanks to Eric, Paul Kuharsky has a blurb about the passing of Thomas Hilton.
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January 6th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Good God, I hate the fucking longhorns. I’m happy for my boy and all, but this shit has got to stop. Now that he’s gone, I can go back to praying for nuclear bombs and clocktower shootings to rain down on that shit heap.
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January 6th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
@beef:
Keep hatin’, keep hatin’.
The only thing I hate about being a Longhorn fan is that there is a lot of sword-crossing with Cowboy fans. Sigh.
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January 6th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
@beef: If it makes you feel any better, I would have rooted for any team against the pedophiles from Ohio. So I was a Longhorns fan last night only to serve my bigger goal of watching those fuckstains lose.
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@DiehardChris: I actually find beef’s hatred of UT a refreshing change-up around here. I mean, I have no dog in the fight, so I don’t care one way or the other about A&M, Tech, UT, etc., but I like passion and beef certainly has THAT.
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January 6th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@DiehardChris: Come to tha’ co… everyone here but me is a UT AND Cowbitch lover, and “has been since all their lives.” Funny how there sure weren’t too many around these parts when they both sucked. To be quite frank, they are the biggest reasons why I hate the two franchises.
Oh, and don’t say “keep hatin’” to me like I’m hating ON them because they’re good. I really fucking hate them with all my soul. There’s a difference.
@Matt: I’m nothing if not consistent.
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January 6th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
@Matt: FYI – I was in the Lexington, KY airport a couple of weeks ago and tried to get to your site through the public WIFI. I laughed when I saw the message that the site was blocked because it is “pornographic.” Either the hillbillies don’t know what pornography is, or I missed seeing the really good pictures. Maybe bfd should share some of his collection…
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January 6th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
@beef: Thanks for the well wishes, beef. That’s awfully sweet of you to with us luck like that! You take care now!
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January 6th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
@KT: Yeah, I don’t get that. I can understand blocking us for a whole lot of shit, but porn ain’t part of it. Sadly.
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January 6th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
@KT: Somebody *did* threaten to post nasty pictures of Matt’s wife, but they never followed through. Damn tease.
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January 6th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
@beef: I second everything Beef said if you replace Longhorns with Gators. Everyone around these parts is a diehard Gator fan even though most of them can’t even spell UF. I know it won’t make me popular with the UT guys on here, but I hope to see OU rape T-Bo with the entire fucking goal post.
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January 6th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
@Vega: I don’t have a dog in that fight, but my bowl pickem sure does, and it sure hopes like hell you’re wrong.
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January 6th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
@beef: The ENTIRE FUCKING GOAL POST!!! Fully assembled.
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January 6th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
I hate Ohio State. Almost as much as I despise Nebraska, Oklahoma or TCU. So, UT winning doesn’t bother me.
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Now… UT failing to cover? That shit is infuriating.
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January 6th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Can we all at least agree that squeaking by a marginal OSU team from a weak Big 10 makes Mack Brown’s whining about deserving the championship a little moot? Right now Utah and USC have a better claim to being screwed than Texas.
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January 6th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
@DemecoShallInheritTheEarth:
USC has NO SUCH claim. Utah – definitely.
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Right now, I think Utah should be #1. The ‘horns have a better claim than USC. USC lost to a nobody team. UT lost to a team that was #1 for a while – and at the end of the most murderous four game stretch I can ever recall in NCAA football history…. and they lost, literally – at the last second. UT beat OU not comfortably – but certainly not down to the last snap.
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USC has no claim on any-fucking-thing except the claim that they can be #1 if they don’t lose to a team that hasn’t been within a sniff of the top of the rankings in Oregon State. No way. Their conference is weaker, their schedule is weaker, and their one loss was MUCH weaker.
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January 6th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
@bigfatdrunk: Not just Matt’s wife, iirc. Matt’s wife sucking off a Cowboys blogger. Talk about unfulfilled wishes.
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I’m with Matt on the whole college football thing. I didn’t go to a major football school, so I’m actually happy when any Texas team does well (even Rice). I think that puts me in the minority here.
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January 6th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
@WillFist4Food: Speaking of Rice, did everyone see that Sam McGuffie enrolled there? That hurts on so many levels.
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January 6th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
@Matt: I feel you, especially because he teased about coming to A&M for a while.
@DiehardChris: I’m as big a Big 12 homer and Pac-10 hater as anybody, but the Pac-10 went undefeated this year in bowls, and the Big 12 has looked pretty soft in the Tech and Mizzou games. That said, fuck USC, and that’s what they get for not taking care of business against a weaker team.
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January 6th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
And what’s more, the media cock sucking of Teeb-o has surpassed Favre or Manning. “Oh, you can’t not love him,” they say. Oh yeah… watch this… I fucking hate the dude. I don’t give a shit how many hospitals he’s visited, or how many churches he’s spoken at, or how many dicks he’s cut off in the Philippines. He’d probably hate me too because I drink a lot of liquor, I don’t believe in God, and I curse in front of children. All I care about is football and he plays for the enemy so fuck him!
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January 6th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
@Vega: Ah, come on Vega, tell us how you really feel!! This time, don’t hold back.
I live in fucking SEC country and to hear these bozo tell it, it’s the cradle of college football. Happily Fulmer got shit canned and the Vols sucked but, their (SEC) only hope is FL and their media machine is working overtime.
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January 6th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
@Eric: Ok, how’s this…
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If I have to hear “Go Gators” one more fucking time I’m gonna fucking snap. I know people that answer the fucking phone that way. And when you tell them that you don’t like the Gators, they look at you with this dumbfuck look of disbelief like you just shat on their shoes. Also, to hear people from North Florida criticize Oklahoma as being redneck is kind of like a skank calling a hooker a slut. Yeah, it might be true, but you shouldn’t talk crap when your own shit stretches like an old rubber band. Seriously, have you ever been to North Florida? It’s like the whole area just coordinated a fart.
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Anyway, I completely agree with Eric. It’s more than just Florida, it’s the entire fucking SEC. They talk about how great they are and quote ESPN guys as proof when in reality quoting ESPN says as much about them as the fucking gap in their teeth. So it’s not that I like OU. I don’t give a shit who it is, but I hope they take a big ole Sooner shit on the collective hearts of the Gator faithful.
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By the way, Eric, I know exactly how you feel living in Tennessee during this NFL season. That’s how it is here except the entire fucking state treats Tebow the same way Richard Justice treats VY.
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January 6th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
@Matt: That’ll be a change. Going from women who wear sweaters around their waists because it’s cold to women who wear sweaters around their waists because they have big asses.
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January 6th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I’ve seen all the stuff about what a great guy Tebow is – yet, I can’t stand him. He’s smug as fuck, and when I heard that he called Mel Kiper on his show to talk shit and whine about how Kiper says he will not be an NFL QB, that just put me over the top.
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So, as a UT fan and Tebow hater – I don’t even know what to root for Thursday other than the game getting canceled.
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That guy is in for a RUDE AS FUCK awakening in the NFL.
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Jax @ #8 – would they take the hometown kid? Houston passed on VY, it was a good thing. Nashville passed on Cutler, it was a bad thing…. what about Tebow and Jax?
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January 6th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I would love to say the Horns have a case, and they would….if it weren’t for Utah. Utah is the only team who has a shot at the AP #1, regardless of what Florida OU do. If they finish any lower than second in the AP then the AP needs to find new voters. USC is not even in the conversation.
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January 6th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
This holiday season I find myself at peace after praying to God for a large asteroid to hit the Dolphin’s Stadium on January 8, 2009. Just after kickoff. I can’t bear the thought of either team winning. Please, God….just kill them all. All the fans too.
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January 6th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
@Vega: The best part is watching this coon hunters rave about their Titanics and yet, are divided by Manning leading the Colts.(VY and the Texans kind of BS).
With both Mannings being successful in the NFL and all the rest of the SEC scrubs washing dishes at IHOP, college football is all they have to look foward to.
Tebow will go they way of ‘most’ SEC QB’s and will be handing you your fries with your order at the drive-thru at Krystal’s.
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January 6th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
@Eric: mmmmmm…Krystal Burger…/gurgles
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January 6th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
@beef: Papabear & I both grew up as huge longhorn fans in the early to mid-80s. So in no way was it because of any similarity to a “dominating franchise”.
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Hell, at the time, every backwoods fucker in East Texas was wearing maroon and pretending they’d actually graduated from high school.
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So while I’m sure there are plenty of bandwagon fans that have jumped aboard in the last 5 years (and by the way, fuck them), I don’t want to hear any such accusations around these parts.
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And I agree that Beef is a passionate Aggie (look, capitalized), but Vega fucking invented passion. After he finished raping Eve.
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January 6th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Everything about Tebow seems false and contrived. It’s so fucking saccharine. I can’t stand it.
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He reminds me of those pukes I went to high school with who were all pious and religious and then went out and got drunk and screwed chicks behind the bleachers while proclaiming how moral they were.
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I have no problem with getting drunk and screwing chicks behind the bleachers or anywhere else, but that false piousness annoys the shit out of me.
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January 6th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
@LoneSpot: Somebody has seen Harold and Kumar one too many times.
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@Shake: My freshman year at UT was 88. So, yeah.
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@WillFist4Food: You could do that in HS? FUCK!!!
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January 6th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
@stacy: Stacy, that is so full of awesome.
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January 6th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
I did not go to UT… but I’m from Texas, live in Austin, and have been a Longhorn fan my whole life. If anyone has a problem with that, they can suck it.
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January 6th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
The league are such hypocrites. They fined Chris Johnson for playing the drums in the end zone, but they are more than willing to use it in a highlight video. Same with the Bengals offensive lineman throwing punches, and Wes Welker’s snow angel.
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@Matt: It’s also blocked on Department of Defense networks, but I think that’s because the URL has “blog” in it. bassproshops.com is blocked too, because it has “ass” in the URL, lol
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@DiehardChris: I thought it was awesome that Tebow called in and told Mel Kiper he was full of shit, because Mel is a pretty big blowhard sometimes, and Mel caved under duress. But still, I’m not big on Tebow’s evangelism personally, and I hardly think that mutilating little boys’ foreskin qualifies as God’s work. I also think it’s funny that it seems like Alex Smith and Vince Young have conspired to make everyone sour on Tebow. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think a team should invest heavily in him as an NFL quarterback, but it’s hard to imagine him not going #1 overall five years or so ago.
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January 6th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
@socctty:
I think it’s bullshit garbage that he called Mel Kiper – not because I give two shits about Mel Kiper – but because it shows that Tebow is overly concerned about ridiculous shit like a “draft guru” saying he won’t play quarterback in the league. I don’t want a guy who sweats shit like that on my team.
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How is he going to react if he’s a huge flop in the NFL and the national and local talking heads are killing him? Is he going to call Jim Rome and whine? Is he going to call Chris Berman? Is he going to send emails to PFT? Fuck him. Who wants a guy who’s all caught up in what people say about him? A pro athlete can’t have that kind of mentality… especially a QB.
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This is a guy who is treated like Jesus Christ Returned at Florida – much like VY at UT… he’s in for a surprise. NFL guys aren’t going to respond to his rah rah bullshit.
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January 6th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
@DiehardChris: I can’t disagree with your view on Tebow. I guess I just relished seeing Kiper get clowned a bit much.
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NFL players should probably not even read the papers, but I’m sure a lot of them do. Even then, you don’t let the commentators, columnists and analysts let them know that you pay attention to what they say! That was probably Tebow’s biggest mistake. Now they know they can get to him.
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January 7th, 2009 at 12:42 am
Tebow is going to give Kitna and Warner a run for their money in Jesus-loving.
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January 7th, 2009 at 7:28 am
I have come to believe that Tim Tebow is the antichrist and should be destroyed. Shave his head and you’ll find 3 small 6’s.
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January 7th, 2009 at 7:33 am
@nash: I might be in the minority here but, how does one’s religous beliefs make it a deciding factor in their play on a NFL/college/HS/Pop Warner team?
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January 7th, 2009 at 8:32 am
@Eric: It doesn’t!
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January 7th, 2009 at 8:58 am
@Eric: I don’t have a beef with him being religious and trying to be nice to people. My problem is fucknuts in the media telling me I have to like him because of it. I hate him because he’s a Gator. If he went to Northwestern, I’d be praising the shit out of him. That’s the point. The guys in the media try so hard to be unbiased that they don’t understand that the simplicity of fandom is you root for the uniform. I don’t care about his personality, I care about football. There are plenty of good people out there who don’t play football. Is TBo better than them? No.
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My only problem with Stacy’s scenario is that my family lives in Miami. If we can just target the stadium, players, and fans, then blow that shit up.
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Lastly, after reviewing my thoughts, I realize that this is exactly why the Gators are going to win tomorrow. God hates me and all the teams I root for.
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January 7th, 2009 at 8:59 am
@bigfatdrunk: Exactly. I don’t see why God should give two shits whether Tim Tebow scores against OU.
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Durga, on the other hand, has money riding on the game, that saucy bitch.
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January 7th, 2009 at 9:45 am
I think I might have the solution for everyone:
introduce random ‘roided up OU linebacker to Tebow’s knee. Then Tebow won’t have to worry about playing in the NFL, Kiper can sleep better at night, and Tim can then go do his missionary work in peace. He just can’t take his girlfriend with him. She’s community property now.
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January 7th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Goodness I love that picture.
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January 7th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
@Shake:You from East Texas Shake? If so, what city?
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January 7th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
@Triple347: Southeast. Grew up in Beaumont/Port Arthur area.
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January 7th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
@Shake:I lived in Beaumont for five years after moving there from Humble. I have spent the majority of my life in Longview, however, and the Cowgirls are adored here (gag me).
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January 7th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
@Shake: Oh, I don’t doubt there are serious, lifelong horns, who actually got into the school they love so, and to them, I don’t harbor anything more than regular hatred. To the others that you described… they get the industrial strength and dosage. I wish upon them an agonizing death by feline AIDS.
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January 7th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
@beef: You don’t hate the bandwagonners any more than I. Hell, in a few years we might even have that situation with the Texans.
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And I understand your Aggie passion/loyalty/beastiality/devotion. I just don’t dig male cheerleaders, or rather, lack of female cheerleaders.
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Viva Pom Squad!
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January 8th, 2009 at 9:49 am
you ought not be treating that goat that way….
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January 8th, 2009 at 11:28 am
@Shake: My hatred of your school and everything related to it has nothing to do with me liking the Ags. I think I think that’s the truth.
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January 8th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
@beef: The directors of Fish Camp are going to be very unhappy that they do not receive credit for your hatred.
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And along these lines, OU Sucks.