DGDB&D: a Texans blog.

Before the full-fledged crying begins…

1. Duane Brown is not ready.  Period.  He was a revolving door at LT.  As Matt texted me: “Duane Brown’s attempted recovery says it all.”

2. Offensive play-calling sucked.

3. Ahman Green runs old.  Steve Slaton did most of his damage in trash time, but he runs hard and with life.  I like him more with every game.

4. Between Schaub and our WRs, if we give him time, we are dangerous through the air.  See #1.

5. Our defense is literally Mario and DeMeco with a dash of Manchild.  Fred was abused all game, our safeties are slow, and WTF has happened to Morlon?

6. Let me take that back: Our safeties flat out suck.

7. Pittsburgh *is* that good.

More thoughts to come later…hopefully beer-fueled.

Addendum: The entire o-line was pretty shitty, but Brown stuck out to me.  Chris Myers would run a close second on the shitty scale.  Also, Mario just negotiated peace in the Middle East.

From PFT:

From Michael Fabiano of NFL.com, the Week One inactive players for the Texans-Steelers game:

Texans inactives: FS Dominique Barber, LB Xavier Adibi, G Kasey Studdard, OT Rashard Butler, DT Tim Bulman, DE Earl Cochran, DT Frank Okam, DB Eugene Wilson.

Steelers inactives: WR Limas Sweed, S Anthony Smith, RB Gary Russell, TE Sean McHugh, LB Bruce Davis, OT Tony Hunt, DE Orpheus Roye.

Very displeased with Cochran, Bulman, and especially Okam being inactive.

I’ll be loitering at BRB for the game.

Every time I hear the song “The Devil Went Down To Georgia,” two things jump out at me.  First, under the terms of the agreement, it was apparently up to the Devil to decide who won the competition.  No judges were named and no one else was mentioned in the song¹.  Now, maybe your mental version of Bud Adams’ spawn differs from mine, but I have serious doubts that ol’ Lou Cypher would be unbiased in picking the winner.  I mean, dude was in a bind (and way behind) or he never would have entered the contest in the first place.  Regardless, I really can’t see Satan saying “dang, ya got me…and, as I am a man of my word and not the embodiment of evil, I will honor the bet I made with you.”

But that brings me to the second observation.  Namely, the Devil fucking WON the competition.  That dude broke shit down² so it could forever remain broken.  Johnny, on the other hand, played some 10-second snippits from standard bluegrass classics??  Fire On The Moutain, House Of The Rising Sun, and a variation on Chicken In A Bread Pan?  Seriously?  The Devil just rocked your face off and you do some bluegrass covers?  Who are you, Bill Monroe’s retarded savant child?

ANYWAY…yeah.  On to the week one picks, bitches.  As always, I’m picking straight up rather than against the spread.

Arizona @ San Francisco.  Interesting tale, these recent Cardinals teams.  Though it’s been close to four years, it seems like they went from “this is the year they surprise people” to “man…they STILL fucking suck” almost overnight and without ever surprising anyone but the people dumb enough to think they’d surprise people.  Odd.  Besides, I’ll be double-goddamned if I am going to pick JT O’Sullivan to win his opener.  Pick: Arizona

Seattle @ Buffalo.  Hmm…I still think Buffalo can sneak into the playoffs this year, but I am beginning to forget why I thought that in the first place.  On the other hand, I am stuck with Hasselbeck as my starter in one fantasy league, so I guess I’ll just back him.  Pick: Seattle

Cincinnati @ Baltimore.  I wish regular NFL games had cool nicknames like “The Border War” and “The Red River Shootout.”  Because, if they did, I would be pushing real hard for this game to get “Bi-Annual Suckfestorama.”  Hey, didn’t you USED to be Ray Lewis?  Honestly, the only reason I can come up with for watching this game will be to see if Chad Ocho Cinco has his new last name on his jersey.  Pick: Baltimore

Dallas @ Cleveland.  Bigger pussy—Tony Romo or Brady Quinn.  On one side, you’ve got a guy who lets his girlfriend wear a pink jersey to the game and sit in the owner’s box so the camera can find her every thirty-seven seconds.  On the other, you’ve got

Hell, who am I kidding??  Brady win this one in a walk.  Er, a prance.  Pick: Dallas

Detroit @ Atlanta.  Dear Matt Ryan, We thought you’d like to ease your transition into the NFL by not having to face a defense in Week 1.  You’ll still lose, because your team is shit, but this should help a bit.  Sincerely, NFL Schedule Makers.  Pick: Detroit

Chicago @ Indianapolis.  I’ve never hidden the fact that I honestly, truly wish Peyton Manning would have both Achilles tendons cut with a rusty butter knife.  Barring that, I hope his infected knee flames up and he misses 10 games.  Barring THAT, I hope he gets SuperAIDS from Kenny.  Sadly for Bears fans, all three could happen this week and the Colts would still win.  Pick: Indianapolis

Jacksonville @ Tennessee.  Let’s be really clear about something—I think J’ville is going to slide a bit this year, but I think Tennessee is going to suck.  Pick: Jacksonville.  Bonus pick: Young has NO TDs.

Kansas City @ New England.  Kansas City’s 2008 season is going to look like Derrick Thomas drove it on an ice-covered interstate.  Pick: New England

Tampa Bay @ New Orleans.  That New Orleans D is going to struggle with potent offenses.  Tampa Bay is not a potent offense.  Conversely, that New Orleans offense is going to light some motherfuckers up.  Tampa Bay is some motherfuckers.  Pick: New Orleans

New York Jets @ Miami.  Favre + Favre+ Favre + Forcing this game down the nation’s collective throat = Loss.  Pick: Miami

St. Louis @ Philadelphia.  When I lived in St. Louis, one of my good friends was a chick who went to school in Philadelphia.  She is marrying an Eagles fan next summer.  Everyone I will know at that wedding, I will have originally met in St. Louis.  None of this has shit to do with shit.  Pick: Philadelphia

JUGGERNAUT @ Pittsburgh.  Fuck yes, baby. (Just so we are clear, I am going to continue my annoying habit of picking us to win every single week.  Thankfully, I figure this will only cost me 6 or 7 games this year.)  Pick: HOUSTON

Carolina @ San Diego.  How much would you pay to see Steve Smith and Shawne Merriman fight?  $50?  $500?  Regardless, I’m betting on the angry midget.  Not in this game, though.  Pick: San Diego

Denver @ Oakland.  Run, DMC!  Because there is no passing game at all!  RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, DUDE!  Pick: Denver

Minnesota @ Green Bay.  Dear Aaron Rodgers, You know all that shit we said up there about Matt Ryan?  Yeah, not so much for you.  Suck it, NFL Schedule Makers.  Pick: Minnesota.

¹ Other than the band of demons, but you get the point.
² With help from the aforementioned demons.

In the FP 2008 chapter on the Houston Texans, we find the following nugget:

We are cautiously optimistic about the Texans in 2008. The team is certainly on a positive trend, but if the Texans backslide or make only another modest improvement, they are at risk of becoming the NFL’s version of the Tampa Bay Rays: loaded with young talent, improving slowly, but destined for perennial also-ran status behind thei divisional superpowers. With the Colts and Jaguars playing the role of the Yankees and Red Sox, Houston could be better than it was a year ago and still finish last. It’s a devilish quandary.

I think I speak for all of us when I say I HOPE we are like the Tampa Bay Rays this year.

In addition to an open thread, we’ll be breathlessly covering the name change from Chad Johnson to Chad Ocho (sic) Cinco: he’s still a fucking moron.  Stay tuned for more.

Wow, we play in a division with 3 1/2 legit teams, and there are couple of divisions that have, at most, one.  It sucks, that’s all.

AFC East:
1. New England - Easiest schedule in football.  The Cheating McCheaters really know how to game the game.  Hate.
2. Buffalo - I have no idea why second.  This division sucks ass.
3. New York Jets - Only because they’ll beat out Miami, not because Favre is good.
4. Miami Dolphins - Won’t be *that* bad, but they’ll be bad.

AFC North
1. Pittsburgh - I’m still a “D” first kind of guy.
2. Baltimore - See above.
3. Cleveland - Because Horse Balls > Ocho Cinco.
4. Cincinnati - But they will lead the league in felonies, so they’ve got that goin’ for ‘em.

AFC South
1. Indianapolis - I’ll burn my own eyes out for that, thank you.
2. Jacksonville* - I think they’ve lost too much on the defensive side and regression to the mean is a bitch on the offense.
3. Houston Texans* - I think our offense, while not elite, will be more than good enough.  Still have serious doubts about the D.
4. BE-SFs - I expect regression to the mean from their D, and flat-out regression on offense.  Still, Chris Johnson will be exciting to watch.  I wonder if he can throw?

AFC West
1. San Diego - Brings some talent to the table across the board.
2. Denver - I think Shanahan has lost some of his mojo.
3. Oakland - Somebody has to be third, and the CBs are strong.
4. Kansas City - Wow, talk about Teh Suck.

NFC East
1. Philadelphia - Even if McNabb gets hurt, I really like Kolb.
2. New York Giants* - Losing the PoopMaster hurts, but they’ve proven the ability to adjust.
3. Dallas - This team is one injury away from complete mediocrity.
4. Washington - If I had to name one “Surprise Team,” this would be the one.

NFC North
1. Minnesota - Not as good as some people think, but Tavaris will be solid enough.
2. Green Bay* - And it’ll all be Aaron Rodgers’ fault….or the shitty CBs.  I’ll go with the latter.
3. Chicago - It’s about the “D” and that they got rid of Benson.
4. Detroit - It’s Detroit!  WTF else do you expect?

NFC South
1. Tampa Bay - I dunno why.  Just a hunch.
2. New Orleans - Hard choice between them and Carolina.  Their key will be keeping Reggie Bust off the field.
3. Carolina - Actually, the difference is losing Punchout Steve Smith for two games.
4. Atlanta - Rey Maualuga?  Michael Oher?  Who will they take #1 overall?  I’ll go with Michael Crabtree.

NFC West
1. Arizona - Based on the defense and that Leinart bongs with hot underaged chicks.
2. Seattle - I have zero faith in their offense.
3. St. Louis - Marc Bulger got hurt reading this.
4. San Francisco - Can you imagine watching the 49ers and Rams play?  Twice???

AFC Championship Game:
Pittsburgh over New England

NFC Championship Game:
Philadelphia over Tampa Bay

Super Bowl:
Philadelphia over Pittsburgh

Wow, if we both picked Philadelpha, then Durga help us all.

And, before you criticize, consider that my first response will be to moon you.  Via email.  It’ll be a real prick pic.

Edit: I accidentally left the * on Seattle when I changed my mind to Green Bay.  Thanks to bigwood for announcing to the world I’m a moron.

Recon. Chris gets the skinny on the Steelers from AOL Fanhouse blogger JJ Cooper. Which brings us something that’s always bothered me. Namely, why are some initials ok to use as your everyday name while others aren’t? JJ, BJ, AJ, DJ…what is it about the second J that makes that acceptible?

O captain, my captain, our dreadful offseason is done. Your Houston Texans have elected this year’s team captains.  Mario, DeMeco, Andre, The Schaub, and Kris Brown.  No surprises there, I guess.

The leap.  Marroncito returns to BRB with a question I had not really considered:  which player(s), if he raised his game to very good/great levels, would take the Texans to the doorstep of being a Super Bowl contender?  The most common answer in the comments is Amobi, and I tend to agree, but I can definitely see the argument for Schaub.

Finally.

Not to knock the air of out Matt’s attempt at making Leo Tolstoy blush, but I figured I’d share this video with you guys: NFL Total Access preview of Texans-Steelers, Week 1

Back when I had a roommate who was more than happy to pay for satellite TV to my benefit, I would watch NFL Network over ESPN pretty much any given day. NFL Network pre-season and draft coverage was immensely better, and during the season you were bombarded with nothing but highlight shows. Bad-ass! So when I saw this video on the NFL website, I was excited: it’s like TV, except free! But about halfway into it you’ll get the urge to orally defecate on your computer.

Basically, Rod Woodson is an idiot. It’s not that he’s some partisan Steelers homer, not that I can detect anyway. But he is filled to the brim with nothing but arguments made in either bad faith, with an astonishment lack of research, or with a terribly short memory. This is the same sort of “let’s create a story” journalism that you see in political media these days; it’s more forgiveable in sports journalism, since we’re not electing the leader of the free world, but it’s still really fucking annoying.

There is no quarterback controversy. No one who follows the Texans, or scouts the Texans, or even watches highlights of the Texans, and certainly nobody who actually works for the Texans, thinks that Rosenfels should start over Schaub. Rosenfels probably doesn’t even think that.

But this is what happens: the question gets asked so many times without regard for an honest answer that it becomes “conventional wisdom” that Rosenfels should start, and then graduates to “blatantly obvious.” Luckily we have a smart owner in Bob McNair, but I don’t doubt that there are knee-jerk owners out there that buy in to crap like this and fire coaches left and right because the idiot box said they should.

Anyone who has seen the Texans in the past four years would realize that Andre Johnson is the centerpiece of the offense. They would realize that Matt Schaub played several games without Andre Johnson on the field last year; both players were hurt at different times of the year. Indeed, in his first year as a starter, Schaub played only 11 games - and now all of a sudden he’s a habitual injury risk that isn’t any good when he actually is on the field? That’s what Jamie Dukes and Rod Woodson would have you believe.

This also ignores the fact that quarterbacks pretty much can’t do anything about the performance of the defense, which despite the amount of young talent we have on it, sucked donkey balls last year. Dukes even points out all the young talent we have on defense, as if that’s the strength of our team. Yes, it is promising, but the defense was dragged to an 8-8 record last year by the offense. As cool as they look on paper, our defense hasn’t done anything of note outside of force DeMeco Ryans to tackle pretty much everyone the last two years.

I mean, how hard can it be to get a scouting report or film of NFL games when you work for the league’s own television network? A television network that was borne out of the work of NFL Films! I need a Jaworski fix.

OK, seriously…can ANYONE come up with a reason why the mid-South would be subjected to the botched abortion that is Jets-Dolphins?  Because I sure as fuck cannot.  Had the tornado not made it so I could get Sunday Ticket, there is a good chance I would kill someone this week.  Thanks, Tornado!

Not-So-Hugene.  I am linking to this via BRB, just so I don’t have to feel dirty for linking to Pancakes, but the message is the same:  the release of Brandon Frye was, apparently, made to create room to sign Eugene Wilson (most recently of the Steelers and formerly of the No-Good Cheaterpantses).  To further borrow from Tim, the idea of a CB corps of The Fred, The Project, Petey, and Petey Redux scares me shitless.  So, while this isn’t exactly a shrewd move, it’s probably the smartest play available at this late date.  (Also, this continues that trend we seemed to start late last year of picking up the most recently-released player from our next opponent.)

I still say we can win this game. The mothership has the scouting report on the Steelers.  The good news for us?  The Steelers line is still awful and their secondary (other than Polamalu) is suspect.  The bad news?  The have a lot of offensive weapons and Limas Sweed is probably having wet dreams about matching up with Faggins in the nickel.  Damn. (h/t Eric)

Well, this pretty much guarantees he won’t play in Houston.  Apparently—and, remember, this is coming from professional assbag, Mike Florio, so take it with a fucking hunk of salt—Tatum Bell attempted to steal Rudi Johnson’s bags while the latter was visiting with the team.  If true, this is beyond hilarious.  Johnson shows up, Bell realizes he’s being shown the door, so he grabs Rudi’s shit and tries to get a female friend to keep the stuff for him.  Fantastic! (h/t stacy)

Finally.  If the season is here, that can only mean one thing—Intertex is back with Texans YouTube videos.  Up first, a look at our 2008 opponents.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve surely noticed that bfd and I have yet to do any predictions regarding the upcoming NFL season.  The reason?  Well, we are lazy.  Beyond that, however, we also wanted to wait as long as possible to see how some stuff shook out in camps and whatnot.

Before I get into my prognosticatin’, however, I thought I would take a look back at my season-long predictions from last year, both good (my weekly picks) and bad (my preseason picks).  Last things first, here were my NFL predictions for 2007:

Thursday night’s game was all well and good in that it was real football that mattered beginning to end. Football is back, yada yada yada. However, for all of us not living in Indianapolis (thankfully) or New Orleans, there is one day left until we kick off the season for real.

For fans of the Juggernaut, of course, tomorrow’s game against the Chiefs is full of storylines. Will Schaub keep making us forget about Zoolander? Is Ahman Green as much of an upgrade as we think? Are the Chiefs going to be worse than the Raiders this year? [Author's note: The answer to all of those questions is "yes."]

Now, I am on record as counting this game as one of our nine wins. I still believe that and, other than laughing about the Chiefs failures to win a playoff game since Bill Clinton’s first year in office, I have little to add.

I do think, however, that this is as good a place as any to throw out the official DGDB&D 2007 Predictions. Let’s rock. (# denotes first round bye, * denotes wild card)

AFC East
New England #
New York
Buffalo
Miami

AFC South
Indianapolis #
Jacksonville *
Houston (9-7)
Tennessee

AFC West
San Diego
Denver
Oakland
Kansas City

AFC North
Baltimore
Pittsburgh*
Cincinnati
Cleveland

NFC East
Philadelphia
Washington
Dallas
New York

NFC South
Carolina #
New Orleans*
Atlanta
Tampa Bay

NFC West
Seattle #
St. Louis*
San Francisco
Arizona

NFC North
Chicago
Green Bay
Detroit
Minnesota

AFC Championship Game
San Diego def. New England

NFC Championship Game
Seattle def. Carolina

Super Bowl
San Diego def. Seattle

Wow.  Those are–what’s the word?  BAD.  Yeah, that’s it.  Did I really have Chicago winning the North over Green Bay?  Was I high or something?  Christ.

NOW, when I was allowed to pick week-by-week, thereby incorporating what we knew about teams as the year went forward, I did much better.  I went 156-91 in the regular season and 8-3 in the playoffs.  I rocked shit.  (Let this be fair warning to the rest of you taking part in Chris’s Pick’em League, bitches.)

With all that out of the way, let’s get into the 2008 season.  Like last year, I am predicting order of finish, but not records, because I hate it when people predict overall records without checking to see if they are logistically possible based on the matchups.

Also, one last side note before I start.  Another pet peeve of mine is writers and other experts who pick the same teams to win the divisions as last season and pick nearly all the same playoff teams.  The former has never happened in the current setup and the historical rate of playoff team turnover is about 50%.  So, off the bat, I’m tabbing Jacksonville, Tennessee, San Diego, Washington, Tampa Bay, and Green Bay as the teams from last year who won’t get in this year.

AFC North
Cleveland
Pittsburgh*
Baltimore
Cincinnati

AFC East
New England
Buffalo*
New York
Miami

AFC South
Indianapolis
Houston (9-7)
Jacksonville (Yes, I still have a post forthcoming explaining this.  Damn you, stop pressuring me!)
Tennessee (6-10)

AFC West
Denver
San Diego
Kansas City
Oakland

NFC North
Minnesota
Detroit
Green Bay
Chicago

NFC East
Philadelphia
Dallas*
New York*
Washington

NFC South
New Orleans
Carolina
Tampa Bay
Atlanta (on the clock)

NFC West
Seattle
St. Louis
San Francisco
Arizona

AFC Championship Game
Indianapolis over Cleveland

NFC Championship Game
Philadelphia over Seattle

Super Bowl
Philadelphia over Indianapolis

So, there you have it.  Now, if these are anything like last year’s, they’ll be moot by week 3.

According to Pro-Football-Reference, here’s our record against each of the 2008 foes:

Unless my count is off, that is a 20-38 record.  I know history only means so much, but still.

Say it with me, kids. “Sta-tis-ti-cal a-nom-a-ly.” Megan Manfull has a flashback to the 2002 game against Pittsburgh as a backdrop for this week’s season opener.  (Side note: THE MOTHERFUCKING SEASON STARTS THIS WEEK, BITCHES!!!)  3 first downs, 47 yards of offense, and a 24-6 win?  Oh yeah!  Notable names from that game include Billy Miller and James Allen. (h/t Eric)

Oh, 2006 Draft, I’ve always loved you.  Wanna see Mario looking WAY cooler than you during an ESPN photo shoot?  Enjoy.  (Bonus points for the Reggie Bush dig in the headline.)

I was told there would be no math.  AJ Burge has a nice rundown of the roster changes we are likely to see this week.

Finally. Just wanted to mention that BFD and I have a bet with Jimmy and August West from Music City Miracles.  The bloggers for the team with the better overall record this season get to each write one post about whatever they want to be posted on the other bloggers’ site.  Suggestions for what BFD and I should write about after we win are welcome in the comments.

From the mothership:

Released: Jameel Cook (busted with ganja), Tim Carter (manos de piedras)

Waived: Mark Fenton

IR: Harry Williams (neck) and Scott Jackson (fascitis)

PUP: Dunta Robinson

No surprises.  The big one, of course, will be Sunday.

Just in case you were wondering, here are some preseason statistics for your Houston Texans.  Grains of salt optional, but recommended.

QB

Matt Schaub: 18-21 (85.7%), 10.3 YPC, 2 TD, 0 INT, 0 Sack, 141.3 rating
S. Rosenfels: 16-23 (69.6%), 10.0 YPC, 1 TD, 0 INT, 1 Sack, 116.4 rating

Analysis: Ladies and gentlemen, Matt Schaub is your QB now and for the foreseeable future.  Even without context, he has been better than Sage.  Then, once you factor in that Matt’s passes have come against mainly first-stringers and Sage’s have come against mainly second-stringers, the distinction becomes even more clear.  Schaub absolutely put on a clinic against New Orleans.  Here’s hoping he keeps it going against Dallas.

RB

Steve Slaton: 24 carries, 94 yards (3.9/carry), 1 TD, 0 fumbles
Chris Taylor: 22 carries, 53 yards (2.4/carry), 1 TD, 0 fumbles
Darius Walker: 8 carries, 29 yards (3.6/carry), 0 TD, 0 fumbles
Chris Brown:    8 carries, 19 yards (2.4/carry), 0 TD, 0 fumbles
Ahman Green:  0 anything because he’s a big ol’ mangina.

Analysis: I included the fumbles just because that was one of two knocks against Slaton.  The other was that he was too small, though, as people have noted, he seems to have added around 15 lbs of muscle to his frame since the Combine.  And, if you watched the second half of the Saints game, Slaton was the MAN.  His TD run involved slipping one tackle, then lowering his shoulder and driving for an additional two yards.  I’d like to see him named starter from the jump, but regardless, if he’s not starting by week 3, I’ll be shocked.  Also, Ahman Green and Chris Brown…ewww.

WR

D. Anderson: 9 catches, 128 yards (14.2 YPC), 1 TD
Kevin Walter: 7 catches, 105 yards (15.0 YPC), 1 TD
Andre’ Davis: 4 catches, 46 yards (11.5 YPC), 0 TD
Jacoby Jones: 2 catches, 61 yards (30.5 YPC), 0 TD

Analysis: Looking at that list, two things jump out at me:  (1) Matt Schaub’s numbers are even better when you realize he hasn’t been able to throw to Andre Johnson a single time this preseason, and (2) our passing attack has the potential to be ridiculously good this year.  When you add in AJ, you have four receivers (plus Jacoby) who all bring a little something different to the mix and who create all sorts of matchup problems for opposing coverages.  The real question is whether we run four wide more often than last year (when I believe we were 30th or 31st in the league in number of plays) and if we are more efficient in the shotgun spread formations (where we were not very good at all last season).  If Slaton gives us merely as much as Ron Dayne gave us last year—which I don’t think is asking a lot—I think the answer to both of those questions is yes.

Making the leap? Paul Kuharsky has five questions with Amobi Okoye.  In them we learn that Amobi wants to make a leap similar to the one Mario made last year.  Also, Amobi and LeBron are friends and “obviously, we talked like people of the same age talk.”  Fo’ realz. (h/t Eric)

Consistent.  How does Mike Florio manage to say something retarded every time he writes about the Texans?  You’d think that once he’d get through a whole article without looking like a fool.  Not this time, though.

Guh.  Titans fan with a preview of the Texans.  Don’t you love how someone can spend the majority of the analysis talking about a large amount of talent on both sides of the ball, then conclude with a dismissive “I see another last place finish” for the Texans?  That’s fun.

Finally.  Programming notes:  I hope to set up the Fantasy Football league this weekend and have the information up come Sunday or Monday.  I’ll recap the people who’ve said yes when I post the info.  Also, at some point this weekend, I hope to have a fairly detailed post about why the Jags are going to stumble this year.

With the exception of frequent commenter NewsToTom, Tennessee Titans fans are the most myopic, delusional, irrational demographic in sports.  To hear them tell it, the Titans will win at least 25 games this year, Vince will throw for 5000 yards and run for 2000, and the defense might actually force teams into negative points.

Kids, meth kills.

Overexposure Redux.  I have another article up (and in print) for the Houston Banner.  Nothing groundbreaking, but I’ll be damned if I am going to miss a chance to link to myself.  You all should know that by now.

Where’s Winston?  Total Titans has the All-AFC South team up.  I agree with most of it, though I think Bennett should be in the mix and there is no way in hell you leave Eric Winston off of it.  Also, only slightly related, Dallas Clark is overrated.  There, I said it.

Awesome.  Andre Johnson is back working out with the team for the first time since the groin pull.  This is good news.

Finally. Caption away, peoples!

Back in this post, I mentioned that we are always willing and happy to run well-written posts from our readers.  This is one of those posts.  (Also, I expand that offer to include fans of other teams that would like to offer a well-reasoned reponse to things they’ve read here about their favorite teams.)

Without further Ado, I present the guest post:

Taking A Look At The First-String Offense
by Will “The Thrill”

Hey guys and gals, Matt and BFD opened the door, and I welcome the opportunity to be a part of the great site they have going here.  Sometimes I’m just too lazy and I email Matt my thoughts rather than comment.  Enough with the pleasantries; let’s talk some football.

First off, this was the first preseason game, so we can’t read too much into it.  Everybody on the field is rusty, so that works both ways.  So, if someone looks good, it may be because someone else was rusty, and vice versa.  This was our first time out there with the new zone blocking scheme and I really think that showed.  I only took the time to really evaluate the first couple of series, so here’s my first crack of acting like an “expert.”

Ahman Green - Wow, that sucked, and what horrible timing.  The ice just got a little thinner underneath him and it will be interesting to see how he handles the pressure.  We’re not going to know if he’s 100% until he’s back out on the field and actually gaining yardage.  They can toe the party line all they want and talk about how minor it is, but we heard every week last season he was ready to be back only to be let down.  History doesn’t allow a lot of room for optimism here, but I’m just hoping it is minor and we get some use out of him.  Going into the season, I think we’ll be OK as long as we have either Green or Chris Brown to go with one of the young guys.  I hope we don’t have to lean on Chris Taylor, Darius Walker and Steve Slaton as the starters too early in the year.  I wouldn’t rule out a return by Mike Bell either if one goes down.

Let me add to this thought.  Is anyone else sick and tired of every sports radio talk show host here in town beating this 31-year-old deal to death?  Talking about how this was one of the bad decisions by Rick Smith??  I haven’t heard one of them offer up what Rick should have done without arguments supported by hindsight.  What were Smith’s options last year?  They knew it was somewhat of a gamble going into it, but aside from a first round pick in the draft, which would be ANOTHER GAMBLE, it’s not like we had another course of action we bypassed.  I’m not at all pleased myself with the situation, but there are some other things we can evaluate on this team besides beating that horse to death.

O-Line - Well, it was the first time out with this zone scheme, and the first time they could really cut block.  Denver had 8 or more bodies in the box much of the time.  Let’s face it, it was a preseason game and they knew good and well we would be running a lot just to get reps.  Looking back at the film (or DVR in my case), we were just some missed blocks away from some good yardage gains with Taylor.  Seems like on several occasions, we had someone on the backside of the play miss a block.  Chester Pitts missed one early on, and so did Eric Winston.  Taylor made a bad read once where he cut it back.  Had he hit the original hole, there was one man to beat that was semi-occupied with a block.

It did seem like the guards stayed on their chip blocks a little long and didn’t get to the second level quick enough.

Pass protection was solid.  I think it’s necessary to point out that our passing game will open up the running game.  We also didn’t see a lot of blitzes out of the first team units.  Preseason is usually pretty vanilla.  We moved the ball right down the field on medium to short range passes and we didn’t have weapon No. 1, Andre Johnson.  Oh yeah, I was evaluating O-Line.  Whether it was rust or a new system, my take is this unit will start to gel and have a much easier time once defenses start respecting our passing game.

Maybe some of us fans can volunteer to be cut block dummies for O Line practice.  I’m down.  I’d love to throw on some pads again!  Maybe then I could scream at the linemen “God don’t like Ugly”…oh yeah, that’s been used..

RB- Taylor took most of the reps with first string after Green went down.  It seems like he’s hitting the hole a little late, and maybe that’s something Brown and/or Slaton could bring to the table.  Hitting the hole quicker when it’s there combined with the linemen getting to that second level quicker is what we really need.  This is going to call for a back to make quick decisions and not over-analyze.  I’d have to say I’d put more of the blame on the line for lack of performance.  However, the D wasn’t showing our passing game the proper respect, so that made things tougher for them.  Didn’t see any playaction out of Matt Schaub and Co. either.

QB - Looked very sharp except for that one throw.  He still doesn’t have a full season as a starter underneath his belt, so he’s going to make mistakes from time to time.  Looking back, I think our lack of running game last year will pay off in the long run because it made us learn how to pass.  Losing AJ made him scan the field a little more rather than leaning on No. 80.

WR- Hard to really evaluate them without a wide angle.  Looked like they did well blocking.  Didn’t see anything to comment as negative.

It’s hard to take a whole lot from week one other than “Thank God football is finally here.”  I remember talking to Matt quite a bit when he started this blog on the demand for football news during the offseason, and we definitely had more of it this offseason.  The media picked up on this demand and delivered.  Unfortunately, most of it was junk.  Most of it was of no real substance coming from people that are no more of an expert than myself.  This blog, BRB and others were about the only place to get some quality news and analysis.  Most of the mainstream stuff was rehashed and rehashed.  As far as predictions, how many people are informed about all 32 teams enough to really predict much besides the obvious front runners?  The NFL is filled with surprises every year, and I think the Texans will be one of them.  That said, I’m very happy to see us scheduled against a bunch of teams we’re “supposed” to lose to in the early part of the season.  This is a young team, and young teams are notorious for getting up for big games and sometimes falling prey to trap games.

Thanks for having me, and if Matt and BFD invite me back, I’ll throw in some D commentary.

Homerism.  Fun exchange over at Mile High Report.  Apparently, for those of us who didn’t get the memo, this is the year that Brandon Marshall establishes himself as the best WR in all of football.  This statement is, apparently, based on (a) Marshall lighting up our awful secondary (11 catches, no TD) and (b) something written at Sporting News.

Cliff Washburn was signed yesterday.  Who?  Exactly.  Here’s the details. (h/t Eric)

Paycheck. It’s no secret around here that Earl Cochran is one of “my guys,” in that I think he has some upside and I prefer him to Anthony Weaver.  Well, good news (even though it comes from Pancakes) is that Cochran is being given a real opportunity to take the starting gig away from Weaver.  Which brings up an interesting side question—if Weaver was already limited to two downs because Colvin is going to be the third-down guy more often than not, would Weaver losing his starting job altogether make him the worst free agent signing in Texans’ history?

UPDATE: Hugging Harold Reynolds has an AFC South postcard preview.  I winced, then I laughed at the other three.