Kickoff

Can you hear me now? Good.: DeMonster, thanks in part to being a three-down linebacker, will be wearing the defensive headset for the Texans next year. The headset, which is like that used by the offense, is a new twist heading into 2008. For teams with more thoughtful players, such as DeMeco, Kevin Bentley, and Amobi Okoye, it’ll be a distinct advantage. The Texans could be a team with a lot to gain from this new do-hickey.

Bad News for Barbaro?: Kubes:

(on if T Charles Spencer will return before training camp) “Well, obviously, we’re down to a couple of days. We’ve had long discussions with him yesterday. The bottom line is that we’re not quite sure that he’s ready to get out here and be more active, so they’ll evaluate that through the weekend and make a decision.”

(on if would be a big deal if Spencer doesn’t make it out before training camp) “Well, it’s a big issue, you know, and the issue is strictly a numbers issue with the football team because taking 80 guys to camp and having 80 guys to go through an NFL camp is just a very small number. And it’s new water for all of us as coaches and general managers, so that’s why it makes this decision even tougher as we move forward.”

Let’s be honest: This is about as negative as you will see something during OTAs. As the Texans near their 80-man roster cutoff heading into camp, Barbaro is in trouble. Purely speculation on my part, but I’ve got a bad feeling after seeing these quotes.

This Year’s Jim Morris Award Goes to: Tim Bulman.

Look, this is great for him and all, but it also shows that we failed to address a major area of need in the draft. And, even though we had Colvin in for a visit, it looks like we will bring him in at LB and not DE if we sign him. Hopefully, we’ll be able to find something during camp cuts. I still don’t think we have an adequate answer opposite Mario (though, again, I have a Chaun-on!).

RIP: Jim McKay: The way he handled the 1972 Olympics should be required course materials for journalism classes.

RIP Dwight White: As badly as the Steelers used to kill us in the old days, there was at least a working respect for the team. The Steelers were not only talented, but they were a hard-working team. White was a cog of the Iron Curtain squads, a disrupter who complimented LC Greenwood on the other end.

The difference between the Steelers of yester-year and the Dallas Cow-fuckers of today? Class.

Ending on a Happy Note: More Kubes:

“Well, I want to knock on wood, but in all honesty, this camp, I think he’s the most improved player. He’s a pretty dang good player to begin with but what you saw take place here over the course of the last three weeks, you saw a guy go from still having some of his rookie habits, they went away in one week and we haven’t noticed them in the last two. That’s a good thing. It tells me he’s growing up. He’s becoming better. He’s becoming a pro. And if that happens, we’re going to be a better football team. I’ve been very impressed with the player he’s become through OTAs.” - on Okoye

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to dry off.

Edit: Thanks to Stacy and Foomey for meeting me for a beer Saturday night.  It was great meeting y’all.

Dahling, with the first pick the Texans will take…

On TexansTV (under Special Segments), Pancakes (in his best Howard Morris voice) predicts the Texans will take Aqib Talib.

Here’s hoping that Pancakes, as always, is wrong. Again.

Now, I’m not saying that the Texans don’t have a need at CB - oh no, far from it - so give Pancakes credit for actually picking a position of need (I think we know that Little Dickie Justice would be pushing to trade all our picks for *longing sigh* Vincy-pooh). Talib has considerable character issues, which, as the article states, has caused many teams to drop him off their boards completely. Last year, we did draft ManChild even after he admitted wearing green sweaters, but Talib has had a tough time staying out of trouble.

Then, when you consider his tendency to be downright toastable in pass coverage, we have a combination that can be beat with our first round pick. I just can’t see the Texans taking Talib here, though it’s not impossible, but I hope we go in a different direction.

_____________________

I don’t have time for a separate post, but guess which Texans’ ladies man extraordinaire will be a judge at the Texans’ cheerleaders competition? Could they have possibly chosen anybody better than Will Demps? Check out the TexansTV link above under Football.

The interview is so banal all the way until he’s asked about the judging, and then he’s more flustered than…well, than I would be around a bunch of scantily clad hotties jumping up and down and up and down and up and down in front of me. As DiehardChris, who sent the link, mentioned: you can see his face light up. You can see Demps trying to figure out how to bed them all.

A dog’s got personality. Personality goes a long way.

It is not much of an exaggeration to say that I have seen Pulp Fiction at least 500 times. My freshman-year roommate had a copy (VHS, baby!) stolen from Blockbuster, which we watched almost daily for that entire year, and I’ve continued to watch it more frequently than any other movie over the past decade. I am reasonably sure this says something about me, but I’m not sure what it is.1

Anyway…I mention this as background because, by this point, you’d think nothing could surprise me in that film. You’d be wrong.

So, here’s the deal. When the guy who looks somewhat like Jerry Seinfeld comes out of the bathroom and shoots at Vince and Jules, why in the hell did he have that gun in the bathroom with him in the first place?

Hear me out–clearly, Brett and “Flock of Seagulls” were not expecting Marsellus’ guys to show up at that instant, as they were enjoying Big Kahuna Burgers2 and just otherwise chilling. Seagulls was lying on the couch and, one assumes, did not have a gun within easy reach. Brett, likewise, was seemingly unarmed. The look of terror on both of their faces suggests that, had they been expecting a visit from Jules and Vince, they would certainly have been armed and ready to shoot for their lives. I mean, Brett seems to know from the moment Marvin opens the door that he is probably going to die. If you had ripped off a crime kingpin and were expecting hitmen to show up and kill you, would you be more likely to sit and eat burgers or arm yourself and prepare to shoot back?

Besides, on top of the surprise factor, you have the size of the gun. It was, as Vincent pointed out, “a goddamned hand cannon.” Such a gun is not the type that someone would have cavalierly tucked in his waistband, nor was he wearing a holster. So basically, logic dictates that he either picked up the gun and carried into the bathroom or the gun was already in the bathroom. Neither of these situations really makes sense to me. On the one hand, if Brett and Seagulls were not expecting Vince and Jules to arrive, there’s no reason to think Guy in Bathroom would have suspected it enough to carry a large handgun into the crapper. Likewise, I can see no reason why that gun would already be in the bathroom considering the people out in the living room did not have guns within easy reach.

By now, you are probably thinking “what the hell does this have to do with football?” Simple: I had been blindly accepting the situation as it was presented to me, when I should have been considering the context. Because, once you consider the context, some things that seem to make sense really don’t.3

Which brings me (finally) to the draft.

Over the past days and weeks, many people have come to grips with the idea that the Texans are probably taking a CB with the 18th pick in the draft. On the surface, where you have an injured Dunta Robinson; a horrid Petey Faggins; a possibly-horrid Jacques Reeves; and are relying on a second-year corner and a veteran sex machine safety, it would seem logically sound to take a corner and hope to improve your atrocious secondary. It would seem that way until you really consider the context.

Right now, you can easily claim that our holes on defense are NT, DE2, CB2, SLB, and (possibly) SS. Of those holes, CB2 is the one where we have already spent the most cap space this offseason, albeit on a guy who might not be able to cover me for 4 seconds. Does it make sense to use your draft pick on a guy who play the same position as the guy you just overpaid for?

But that’s not even the biggest issue.

The fact is, a great defensive line can make a suspect secondary look average to good for multiple games in a season. A fantastic secondary can make an average D-line look good a couple times per game. Partly, this is because of the nature of the rules that allow WRs to play virtually untouched. But it is also due in no small part to the logistics of what the positions are asked to do. Your defensive line exists to get to the QB (or RB), correct? Well, they know where the QB is going to be once the ball is snapped. Defensive backs, on the other hand, are asked to cover someone with no clue as to where he is going or what path he will take to get there. This means that even the best CBs are going to get beat on a long enough timeline. SO–and I know you see where I am going with this–you can improve your secondary just as much by drastically shortening the length of time you ask them to cover as by upgrading your cornerbacks.

Hell, this year’s Super Bowl Champion New York Giants are an embodiment of this principle. Their monster defensive line was able to consistently get pressure on opposing QBs. Because of this, the Giants were able to survive with subpar linebackers (Pierce is a good player, but his main strength is in leadership and getting the D set correctly; Mitchell is a smart player and a sure tackler but is nothing special; and Torbor is notably below average, but tough) and an average defensive backfield. Corey Webster looks like he turned it around, but he still isn’t very good yet. Aaron Ross looked very good for a rookie, but Gibril Wilson is at best good (in terms of skills he’s probably comparable to a healthy Will Demps, maybe very slightly better) and James Butler more or less stinks.

Yet, despite having a back seven that was basically average, the Giants defense looked absolutely dominant at times–including against the Patriots–because they were able to get after opposing QBs on a regular basis. This is not a novel concept, really. And, given the choice, I would almost always rather go into a season with three great defensive lineman than with 2 great defensive linemen and a great DB. And, hell, with Ryans and Greenwood behind a line similar to the Giants, even Petey Faggins would seem decent at cornerback.

*Pauses to consider the implications of that last sentence. Shudders.*

WHICH (finally) brings me to my bigger point. Namely that, if we are drafting defense in the first round or third round, we should be looking for a defensive tackle or a speedy defensive end or–shockingly–both. I mean, clearly someone in Texans management thought that Reeves could play or else they wouldn’t have signed him. You want to make that signing make sense? Then put together a front four that can limit how long he has to cover. The kid has fantastic speed, but his instincts and coverage skills are not all that amazing. Ask him to cover for 2.5 seconds instead of 4.5 and his speed/quickness should be able to overcome his technique/skills. Unless, that is, someone thought it prudent to give $8MM guaranteed for a nickel corner. Which I choose to believe no one in our front office is stupid enough to do.

[Author's note: I realize that some of this--ok, fine, much of this--is a rehashing of the philosophy I've been espousing since the end of the season. I was pushing for a NT at that time and, for the most part, my position hasn't changed. I have only amended it to say that I would be nearly as happy with a solid DE and that the only CB I would be willing to change my opinion for would be the mutant Rodgers-Cromartie.]

Who, then, should we be looking at? I’m glad you asked. Two names that immediately jump out to me are Brian Johnston and Kentwan Balmer.

Last one first, let’s take a look at Balmer, since most of you have probably heard of him. A 6-5, 308 DT out of UNC, Balmer posted 59 tackles (33 solos), including 3.5 sacks, 9.5 TFL, and four quarterback pressures. Balmer was solid against the run in general, allowing 1.69 yards/carry on his 55 running stops. The one knock I would have against him is that he is about 15 lbs lighter (minimum) than I would like out of my NT, but that is countered by the fact that he is strong (33 reps) and explosive (29 in. vertical jump). Even better for our purposes, Balmer is currently projected to go in the late first/early second, meaning he should be available at 18. Speaking of that 18th pick, I think even if most teams have Balmer slotted at 25-30, we should be willing to reach a little if we find a guy we really want because of the lack of a second rounder.

The other guy I mentioned, Brian Johnston, might be unfamiliar to many of you. That’s what happens when you go to Gardner-Webb and don’t get a combine invite. Of course, after reading about his tryout in front of some NFL scouts, maybe he should have been invited.

Measuring in at 6-foot-5, 274 pounds, Johnston ran his first 40-yard dash in 4.66 seconds. Johnston’s 40-yard dash time would have been the fourth best at the NFL combine for defensive ends, and the best for any lineman weighing more than 260 pounds.

Johnston’s most impressive stat from the 40-yard dash came with a very strong 1.51-second time through the first 10 yards, an important time with regards to a players quickness. By comparison, Johnston’s 10-yard split was the same as Arkansas’ running back Darren McFadden turned in at the Combine earlier this year.

The most impressive result overall, however, may have been Johnston’s time in the 20-yard shuttle. He turned in a 4.18-second time, which is better than any lineman at the NFL’s Scouting Combine. In fact, the 4.18-second time was faster than any running back at the event - with Illinois’ Rashard Mendenhall the only back to match that time.

So, yeah…I’d say he fits the definition of a speed-rushing DE. Now, I know some of you are likely saying “ACK! Workout warrior from a small school! Babin! BABIN!!!” That’s fair. But let’s not forget that Babin was a college 4-3 DE drafted to play OLB in an NFL 3-4. Going forward was never a problem for him; it was sideline to sideline and dropping into TE coverage that killed him. In Johnston’s case, you would be drafting a college 4-3 DE speed-rusher to play NFL 4-3 DE speed-rusher. And, because Mario and Okoye occupy the extra blockers, he’d be going one-on-one with o-linemen most of the time. That’s always nice when you are lightning-fast.

ANYWAY, I am just spitballing here. If the word around the campfire is to be believed, we will take someone like Aqib Talib at 18 and then a RB in the third. And I’ll deal with it, even if I don’t think it is the right approach. And, hell, maybe I get kinda lucky and we take Talib (or whomever) in the first but still snag Johnston in the third. Regardless, until Draft Day, I am just going to keep doing my best to shepherd the weak through the valley of darkness.4

1 That’s not entirely true. I think it says that I liked the movie when it was (a) popular, (b) cliched, (c) ironic, and (d) suggestive that I am getting old.

2 That IS a tasty burger!

3 On the flip-side, some things that seem utterly inexplicable–say, the selection of Mario Williams over Reggie Bush–make perfect sense once you consider the context. While some things–say, the popularity of Mambo No. 5–remain inexplicable regardless of how much you ponder them.

4 And to not shoot Marvin in the face.

Why I {heart} the 2008 Texans - Defense

Thanks to Eric and James and pushmback, I feel inspired to talk about the 2008 Texans and why we will kick ass. Plus, maybe it’ll stave off SOLIS from stealing my cat for a couple of days. (So young and so angry)

Look, it takes real stupidity to turn me off as a fan. The 2007 -> 2008 Astros are a perfect example of pissing me off. Poor farm management, stupid trades, worse signings, and if anybody is surprised by the team’s idiotic moves, you should be forced to drink Coors Light the rest of your pathetic life.

In other words, I am normally quite the optimist <- insert gleaming smile here

So, if I seem a little too happy happy about our Texans, forgive me. And bite me. So here goes…

Defense: It all starts here, obviously. I’m going to listen to my (formidable) gut instinct and guess that we draft either a DE or DT with this pick. No, I have no rational reason to believe this, but it’s still my guess. Travis Johnson is one dumb MF - that much is assumed - but he was all over the field last year. If he can control that, I fully believe he will be a major asset. Seriously, the dude’s motor was on, and it was great to watch. With Kalu and Weaver and Maddox….and our pick…I think our defensive line will be well-above average. I can’t ever imagine rushing Jamal Williams on a stunt and being successful, but we can mix and match and keep guys fresh all along the line. That, dear peeps, is quite an advantage.

At LB, we all know it begins and ends with our namesake, DeMeco. Ankle sprains have a tendency to linger, and an off-season should have him at 100% for summer drills. And not only is he one of the most physically tenacious LBs in the league, but he’s got some serious football smarts, to boot. At WLB, we have Morlon Greenwood. Personally, I think 2007 was the first step in his maturation as one of the best in the league. He’s one of the faster LBs, and when DeMeco was hurt, he stepped up. At SAM, both Danny Clark and Charlie Anderson had their moments. [Ed. note: And now they can have moments elsewhere.]

If we have a weak spot, it’s in the defensive backfield. We all know that. It’s no secret. Even here in February, Petey just gave up a first on 3rd and 19. And, I’ve said more than once, I am worried about Dunta being able to return as a CB.

This is a major variable for the Texans. If we don’t sign a CB free agent, I think we’ll be weak here. If we do, it could quickly turn into a cascaded strength. Imagine three of four of our DBs in November being Dunta, Fred “Nickname Sorely Needed” Bennett, and a badass free agent. *I* could be the SS. But we need to sign that FA and hope that Dunta comes back for that to happen. Referring back to the disAstros: The difference between the ass-wipes that run the ‘Stros these days and Kubiak is that I believe Kubiak is a touch more than competent. He’ll be in his third year this year, and I can see his fiendish plan coming together. I think he’ll lead the way to make the signings/moves we need to to improve our secondary in 2008. I mean, he’s not Casserly, right?

And then, there’s Ray Rhodes. Yes, he’s got some serious health issues. And, yes, he might be slightly over-rated. The good news is that he brings some big-time insight into any defense he touches, and we hired him as the friggin’ secondary coach. That will be a good thing, Martha.

This is Part I for “Why I have a man-crush on the 2008 Texans.” Next up, the offense.

Eeez boolshit! Should be same rules for everyone!

First off, congratulations to uber-stud, blog namesake, and all-around awesome guy DeMeco Ryans for being named STARTING MLB for the 2008 AFC Pro Bowl team. Well done, DR.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let me just say that IN NO UNIVERSE THAT MAKES ANY SENSE SHOULD KYLE VANDEN BOSCH BE ON THE ROSTER OVER MARIO WILLIAMS. Consider:

Mario Williams–14 G, 13 Sacks (2d in NFL (1st in AFC), 2d among DEs), 53 tackles, 2 FF, 1 FR, 1 TD

Kyle Vanden Bosch–13G, 9 Sacks (T-16th in NFL, 5th among DEs), 48 tackles, 3 FF

Still not convinced? Well, consider further that, in the three games Albert Haynesworth was out, KVB was pretty much a non-factor, notching 10 total tackles and only one sack. On the other hand, Mario has been the focal point of opposing offensive lines week-in and week-out. He has dominated regardless of whether he was lined up beside ND Kalu, Travis Johnson, Jeff Zgonina, Anthony Maddox, or Amobi Okoye. Hell, look at Amobi’s sacks–all of them have come when Mario has been on the field and on all but one of them, Williams was getting visibly gang-raped while Okoye blew past his single blocker. Granted, it’s generally a hard statement to prove, but I think most anyone would agree that Mario has made that entire line better.

Don’t get me wrong–Vanden Bosch is a great player and I would trade a kidney to have him lined up opposite Mario. He just did not deserve to make this team over Mario. You want to split hairs between him and Jason Taylor, by all means, be my guest , but don’t pretend like Mario hasn’t had a better year and hasn’t meant more to his team on every single snap that KVB has.

The part about this whole thing that really chaps my ass is that I get a sneaking feeling that Mario’s omission has a lot to do with bias against him that has carried over from last year. That and the fact that most people voted before they got to see him violate Jay Cutler on national television, as the Texans get about as much national coverage as the Tiffin University Equestrian team does. (Go Dragons!) Yes, yes…he’s been named an “alternate.” Big deal. Will Demps is an alternate. Are you telling me that Will Demps and Mario Williams are having seasons similar in quality at their respective positions? Because, if you are telling me that, we can no longer be friends. In fact, mom says you need to go home.

Considering the 4-3, or Why Richard Smith is irritating me

I know we haven’t been running a 4-3 defense very long. I know that there are probably still some kinks and growing pains that we are trying to work through. Nevertheless, I am beginning to wonder if Richard Smith even knows how to use a 4-3. In fact, taking it a step further, as each week passes, I am more and more sure that he’s unaware we are even running a 4-3. How else can you explain the following:

1. Why aren’t we blitzing someone with any regularity?

[fire up the tedious, pedantic football primer]

The greatest strength of the 3-4 defense is its flexibility. Because the defense requires faster players at key positions, teams can move seamlessly between the base 3-4, an old-school 5-2 (from which they can either all rush, slide into a 2-deep zone, or even run a basic zone-blitz), and even a 4-2-5 zone. Given that flexibility plus the speed inherent in the personnel, a person might wonder why all teams don’t run the 3-4. Well, aside from the fact that it’s not always easy to put together that personnel (as our first years demonstrated), the answer is that the 3-4 is much easier for teams to run against. Because the players in the 3-4 are smaller, a good running team with a large line can dominate the nose tackle, crash down on the middle linebackers, and create some great running holes.

The 4-3, on the other hand, gives you an additional defensive tackle and makes it easier to keep the offensive linemen from getting to the second level and neutralizing your MLB. And, if you find four really good linemen, the 4-3 offers the opportunity to get good pressure on the offense without sending a linebacker. This is helpful because the base 4-3 generally features man coverage on the WRs. If the front four can get pressure, however, the linebackers and DBs can drop into a 2- or 3-deep zone, increasing your chances for a hurried throw and possible interception.

THAT SAID (and that’s a very big “that said”), if you don’t have a defensive line that can get pressure all by itself–few teams do–you have to create pressure. It doesn’t matter how good or flexible your linebackers are, if the front four cannot get after the QB alone, all but the most inept NFL QBs can sit back there and pick apart a zone defense. See, e.g, Collins, Kerry.

[end primer...for the moment]

OK, so back to my pre-primer question: Why aren’t we at least blitzing someone with any regularity?

I know that the pat answer is “because we need our LBs in coverage.” Except that is circular logic. If you aren’t blitzing because you aren’t getting pressure and, thus, your suspect secondary is getting exposed, then it is the dropping of LBs into coverage that is creating the need for the LBs in coverage.

Look, if you aren’t getting pressure from the front four in a 4-3, then you have to create pressure by blitzing. It’s that simple. This is doubly true when your secondary is shaky at best. Pressure creates turnovers through hurried throws and forced fumbles and it forces clowns like Petey Faggins to have to cover for a shorter time (thus limiting the amount of time he has to grab hold of the WRs jersey). There are no three linebackers in the world who can help enough to counter a QB having all day to pick apart a feeble secondary.

For a perfect example of this, you need look no further than last year’s Washington Redskins. When injuries at corner made it so that they basically couldn’t cover anyone, their response was to drop everyone into coverage and play a soft cover 2. The result: QBs had all day (because Washington’s front four couldn’t get any pressure at all) and the Skins were the worst deep ball defense in the league last year. The lesson: QB pressure makes the entire defense better in ways that extra coverage cannot, or, alternatively, any amount of coverage gets beat when the QB has enough time.

Which is not to say that I advocate sending ALL of your linebackers…

2. So, then…how should we go about blitzing (assuming we won’t just properly utilize the LBs in the 4-3)? The answer is simple: the zone blitz

[4-3 defense 102 here. Feel free to skip ahead.]

The idea behind the zone blitz is two-fold. First, duh, create pressure. Second, however, it tries to confuse the offense’s blocking calls by sending any of the three linebackers (or, occasionally, a safety) while someone else fills the space left by the vacating backer. In that way, the defense does not lose the extra hands in coverage, but should still be able to get penetration because the offensive line will not know where the blitz is coming from on a given play.

For example, the zone blitz allows the MLB to blitz through the A-gap, while the nose tackle stunts over through the B-gap. In coverage, the WLB fills the space vacated by the MLB and the RDE drops back and out into the space that WLB would fill in a standard two deep zone. So, when the QB sees the MLB attack, his natural reaction is to look to throw at where the blitz came from (or, if he’s guessing that the WLB will fill, to where the WLB came from), only to find the ball thrown right at a defender.

Then, on the very next play, with the very same package, the team could go with a more traditional WLB blitz, but have the RDE slide back to fill. We saw this play once or twice in the preseason with Shantee Orr lined up outside the RDE and it was effective.

An added bonus of blitzing out of a two-deep zone is that it allows our best defensive player to make even more of an impact on the game. DeMeco Ryans has two sacks this season, both of which have come on a straight blitz. On both plays, he came more or less untouched (one against Harrington late in the game when we decided to actually play D and the one last week where he nearly killed Kerry Collins) because he was allowed to read the offensive line and choose between the A- and B-gap and he smacked the QB right in the mouth. He has also been asked to run blitz a couple times and he’s found success there. So, if we start using him on some zone blitzes, teams will have to account for him more. Meaning that blitzes from other positions–say Danny Clark stunting over the LDE with Morlon Greenwood dropping back to the middle and DeMeco filling the space where the SLB would normally be–a team throwing over the blitz would be throwing the ball right at our best defensive weapon. Likewise, letting DeMeco creep up and show blitz, especially if he’d already had success, would create more chances for the d-linemen on either side of him to get ignored by an overzealous o-lineman. And so on, and so forth.

[/4-3 Defense 102]

I cannot state this strongly enough. Blitzing is a necessity when you have 1/4th of a real secondary. Zone blitzing allows for our strong front seven to create mismatches while still keeping two or three extra bodies in coverage and allowing our best defensive player to better impact the game. While you cannot necessarily use the zone blitz on every down (it becomes less effective at some point), how is this not a better option than dropping the three LBs, relying entirely on your front four for any pressure on the QB, and watching the QB have time to locate and throw at Petey Faggins?

3. Why do we use our front four in such a vanilla manner?

Just like you can’t run the zone blitz on every defensive snap, if you do anything over and over, eventually everyone in the NFL will know your tendencies. (By “eventually,” I mean “by next week.”) Right now, we have the same formulaic defensive line positions. Mario at RDE on running plays, Mario at LDE on passing plays, blah blah blah.

Why?

First of all, backing up a step, why when Mario moves to LDE–a move I really, really like–do the tackles not flip-flop so that Amobi Okoye is not beside Mario? We’ve covered this before. Yes, I am fully aware that Amobi has four sacks and that, on three of those, Mario is clearly occupying at least two blockers. That’s all well and good, but, like we said before, it’s not really the highest, best use of their talents. Flipping Amobi puts your two-gap, big-bodied tackle between Mario and Okoye. It is this player’s goal to pick up two blockers, which means that either Amobi or Mario (or, possibly, both) would draw single blocking more often than not. Meaning, oh I don’t know, that we would get more consistent penetration from both sides of the line.

But, back to where we started question 3: why even have a definite set order for your defensive linemen? I mean, sure, if you are going to have set positions based on down and distance, then for god’s sake, do it correctly within the constraints of the 4-3. But do you really even have to have set positions? Right now, you have Mario Williams who, though Richard Justice would disagree, is actually playing very well. You have Amobi Okoye, who is playing the pass-rush role as well as we hoped and playing the running game better than we hoped. AND you have Travis Johnson who is just playing some inspired football right now, hustling, hitting people, and playing like you would hope a first-round DT would. That’s three real pass rushers, plus we haven’t even touched on Kalu, Weaver, Maddox, etc.

With that kind of ability up front, why become so predictable that teams can game plan and negate some of the advantage you have? Mix it up a little. Go big on one play and have Mario, Maddox, Johnson, and Amobi from left to right. Next time out, go with your more traditional base. Then turn around and go small (relatively speaking) with Mario, Okoye, Cochran, and Orr. Create a mismatch by putting Mario at under tackle and then having him twist-stunt with Weaver lined up at DE. The possibilities are vast…if you will just use them.

Note: I am fully aware that Mario moved around a lot last year and that some of the coaching staff thought that might have been his “problem.” You know, rather than just having an injured foot and being a rookie at a tough position. That’s all well and good, but setting up your front so that he is guaranteed to get doubled on every single play is hardly the answer.

I guess the bigger point here for question three is JUST DO SOMETHING. Don’t keep running out there with a predictable front four rotation, no blitz packages to speak of, and a secondary that can’t cover for as long as you are asking them to. DO SOMETHING.

The great thing about the 4-3 is the balance. But that balance is in terms of playing the run versus playing the pass, meaning you still have to play to the strengths of your D. Consistency in game planning will always equal regression in the NFL; worse, consistently planning in the same incorrect manner will always equal failure.

[Author's note: I wrote this in about five different pieces, so I apologize if it rambles. Please point out any inconsistencies in it.]

You say "Echema," I say "Echemandu"

I didn’t mention it on Wednesday, but the Texans signed Adimchinobe Echemandu–known as “Joe Echema” at Cal before he decided to go back to his real Nigerian name–to the practice squad. (There was an extra spot after we filled Jerome Mathis‘ roster hole.)

Anyway, it could be the fact that it’s late and I’ve been drinking or it could just be the paint fumes getting to me, but I am sorta jazzed about this signing. “Why,” you ask? A number reasons.

First, the simple fact that we signed him may mean that Samkon Gado is not factoring into our long-term plans. Which is good, because he sucks.

Second, though, and more importantly, is that when Echemandu is not injured, he’s fast. No, scratch that. He’s fast. He was banged up and didn’t run the 40 at the combine in 2004, but he turned in a 4.33 into the wind the summer before. Had he run that time at the combine, it would have been the fastest time in that year’s RB crop. Not shabby. And not surprising, as Joe was a sprinter before turning to football full time. He has had some injury issues since and has been very limited in playing time in the NFL, but that kind of speed is hard to come by. If you can get it at a discount like this, why not take a shot?

Third, Echemandu is a cousin of Nnamdi Asomugha. Do not underestimate how excited this makes me.

Finally, Joe is the fifth Nigerian-born player under some sort of contract with the Texans right now, joining Amobi Okoye, ND Kalu, Samkon Gado, and WR Gbolahan Devin Aromashodu. I suppose the way Amobi talked early in camp about Kalu being like a mentor/big brother to him is what makes me like this signing of Echemandu, as I buy into the idea of players overachieving when placed into highly comfortable situations. And that idea ties into us somehow luring Asomugha here in the offseason. Yes, I am slightly obsessed.

DYK?

Mario Williams and Amobi Okoye’s seven combined sacks give them the highest total of any teammate tandem in the AFC. Just think what the total would be if they weren’t the worst draft pick in sports history and a total bust, respectively.

I’ve got $5 that says at least one of the two gets another this week. Be afraid, David Garrard.

Amobi: "[W]e are world champions. That’s not far off at all."

USA Today has a rookie profile on our resident bust, Amobi Okoye. Most of it is the same stuff we’ve seen a thousand times–he’s 20, he moved here from Nigeria, he tested into 9th grade at 12, yada yada yada.

In the part of the profile titled “The Person,” however, Manchild gives some fantastic quotes:

• Biggest adjustment: “I know it wasn’t the speed of the game. I’d say the off-field stuff, trying to handle the demands and trying to balance your life, especially as a first-rounder.”

• Role model: “My father. From day one he met his obligation as a father. He put his family first in everything.”

• First purchase after signing: “My mom’s car. It’s a white Benz that I promised her ever since I can remember.”

• Favorite off-field activity: “Probably being around family and friends who care about me, having a good time and smiling.”

• On not being old enough to drink: “No, I’m not old enough to drink. It’s a blessing because I’m around a lot of older guys who care about me and want to see me succeed. I’ve been around older people all my life.”

• Life after football: “I’d like to work with kids in one way or another. I want to give back to the community.”

• On the Texans: “Man, I see this city rocking because we are world champions. That’s not far off at all.”

• NFL dream: “I left the game better than it was when I got into it. I was someone anyone coming up playing football could look up to. I was an ambassador for football.”

Awesome.

As an aside, the other player mentioned in that Mike Florio “article” about Amobi being a bust was Adam Carriker. Through the Rams (winless) first five games, Carriker has 5 tackles and no sacks. None. Proving, yet again, that Mike Florio and PFT are beyond worthless. That’s one thing BBS and I can agree on.

Sure, but can any of them play RB?

This post just beat Faggins on a dig route

It wasn’t that long ago that Stephanie admonished me for attacking Chad Stanley the person rather than simply berating Stanley’s performance. While I don’t agree with her, I understand where she was coming from. There are times, however, when a person’s performance is so bad that complaining about the player himself becomes part and parcel of discussing his contributions.

That person, of course, is Petey Faggins.

Last week, Faggins was beat-down to the tune of 3 catches for 47 yards and 2 TDs within Carolina’s first five minutes of possession. This fact was not lost on the Indianapolis Colts. In fact, they did everything short of pointing and laughing derisively at Faggins as they went to the line. Petey might as well have worn a bulls-eye in place of his number 38.

Think about it. A team with at least five weapons in the passing game (Harrison, Wayne, Clark, Gonzales, and Addai)–a team that is known for spreading the ball around among all the receivers–basically said, “you know what… screw it; we’re just going right at number 38.” And did they ever. I need to review the tape for a definite count, but I put the number of passes thrown (and completed) to Faggins’ responsibility somewhere north of 8.

Of course, it’s easy for a QB like Manning to complete passes when the DB is giving his responsibility an 8-yard cushion on every single play. Faggins looked like he was so scared of getting beat deep that he would rather let the person catch the ball in front of him and simply try to make the tackle. This is a bad plan in general. It becomes a truly horrible plan when your team absolutely, positively must have a 3-and-out to get the ball back. Rather than play up even in that dire circumstance, Faggins gave enough cushion that Harrison caught the ball past the first down marker and Petey STILL had to close on him to make the play.

This kind of coverage would be bad enough on its own. Unfortunately, Faggins also screwed up on both of Addai’s TD runs. I’m not sure what is more embarrassing–letting Joseph Addai jump over you because you go too low, too early, or ignoring your outside responsibility, running INTO a block, then failing to disengage in time to even get a hand on the guy who ran right at where you were supposed to be–but both plays were laughably bad. Unless you are a Texans fan, in which case they were still bad, but sans laughter.

Word around the campfire is that People Who Know Things just don’t think rookie Fred Bennett is anywhere close to ready to play CB2 at the NFL level. Well, guess what…neither is Faggins. Are you seriously telling me that Bennett could not play off his receiver, get burned by nearly every receiver he defends, be targeted by opposing offenses, and blow tackling assignments as well as Faggins can? Well that’s a risk I am willing to take. Besides, that would give us 13 games to see if Bennett shows enough skill to make us believe he can take over that role full-time at some point in the near future. If he steps in and does well, we have solved the problem and improved our defense at the same time. If he fails, he can’t be any worse than Faggins has been and it gives us even more reason to pursue Asomugah.

Look, I know all about how Petey is a “really nice guy” and “a hard worker” and all that. Thing is, I don’t care. Not one little bit. Until I see Bennett and Jamar Fletcher look like Moe and Curly out there, you will not be able to convince me that one of them is not better than Faggins.

The good news, Texans fans, is that even with Faggins’ “performance” and enough injuries to make Florence Nightingale say, “yo, hold up,” we still had a chance to win that game with 2:30 left on the clock. That is not something that Texans v. 1.0 would have managed. I smell a list.

Da Good

  • Amobi Okoye. That’s three sacks in the last two games for Manchild. The impressive part, though, is the strength he’s shown in blasting through double-teams and closing on the QB once he breaks free.
  • The offensive line. While Schaub was technically sacked thrice, the third one hardly counts (other than on the stat sheet), as Schaubby had to hold the ball long enough for the WRs to get 30 or 40 yards downfield. Other than Salaam getting bowled over by a bull rush, the line did a fantastic job against a much quicker front four than they’d previously faced. Their work was even better when you consider that we presented NO running game, so the Colts knew we were throwing.
  • Matt Schaub. You know…every time I see Schaub feel a little pressure, escape just far enough to avoid the trouble, and throw an accurate pass to a moving receiver, I cry little tears of joy inside. Watching him march the team down the field in the fourth quarter, I thought to myself, “so this is what it feels like to know you have a quarterback for the next decade or so.”
  • Andre’ Davis. Apostrophe was only activated because the other Andre wasn’t able to go today. When Jones went down, however, Davis promptly came in and played like someone who should not have been waiver-wire fodder. The leaping grab he made at the one was nothing short of fantastic.
  • The Final Score. No, we didn’t win. But if you told any Texans fan back in April that they would play within a TD of the Super Bowl Champs, despite not having Andre Johnson, Ahman Green, the starting punt returner, or Ron Dayne, and despite only getting one sack, I think they would have taken it.
  • The Run Defense. Considering the LBs have to help in pass coverage, read the play, and then close on the RB, the fact that we kept the Colts under 100 yards for the day has to be considered a positive.
  • Jerome Mathis. Nice kick return, dude. And a couple nice catches, too. Who are you, and what have you done with Jerome?

Da Bad

  • Petey Faggins. Ugh.
  • Matt Schaub. He makes this list for one reason–the INT by Gary Brackett. I liked the play call, but you kind of have to make sure that the proper people bit on the play fake before you go to the obvious first read. Tsk, tsk.
  • The injury to Cedric Killings. I feel bad for the guy–I might have jinxed him–and I wish him nothing but a speedy and complete recovery. To be fair, though he did drop his head at the last second for some reason. Players are taught from the earliest levels of football not to do this, but Kubiak should still make all his players watch that play and the Kevin Everett injury a couple times, just to reinforce it.
  • The injuries. Andre Johnson, Ahman Green, Ron Dayne, Cedric Killings, Steve McKinney, Jacoby Jones. Jeez.
  • Petey Faggins.

DeMeco

  • 13 tackles. He’s a bad mother.

First two weeks by the numbers

2. The total number of times Matt Schaub has been sacked this year.

0. The number of times he was sacked by the vaunted Panther pass rush.

43. The number of games between Andre Johnson’s last 2-TD game and Sunday.

24. Total number of second I laughed when the TV showed Zoolander touching his hair with heteroquestionable white gloves.

4. Total number of sacks “busts” Mario Williams and Amobi Okoye have combined for this year.

69. Average rushing yards allowed by the Texans, which ranks them fifth (with Philly and Washington both still to play this week).

5. Highest total number of women Matt Schaub slept with at one time while at UVA.

14. Number of catches Andre Johnson has this year.

2.7. Reggie Bush’s yards per carry in week 2.

111.4. Matt Schaub’s rating after two games.

19. Approximate number of tackles Steve Smith broke on his third TD.

75.5. Zoolander’s career rating.

12. Points per game scored by Texans’ opponents.

6. Sacks notched by our defensive line.

3. Total number of hours Sandy Vagina spent on his hair prior to Sunday’s kickoff.

4. Consecutive games won by your Houston Texans dating back to last season.

0. Number of Texans games broadcast thus far in Austin.

1. Number of fewer wins the Titans have than the Texans.

2. Number of INTs by Dunta Robinson so far this season, the second of which tied him for first all-time in Texans’ history.

10. Number of INTs Travis Johnson needs to tie Dunta’s team record.

1,457. Number of pies Dunta Robinson needs to eat to tie Travis Johnson’s weight.

4. Number of pies Ron Dayne needs to eat to equal the weight of our starting offensive line.

Early Observations


Ten things I’ve noticed in just over a quarter of play.

  1. Jacoby Jones is as good as advertised. If he ever learns to square his shoulders before he catches a punt, he’ll be unstoppable.
  2. Mario is looking good. By my count, two assisted tackles, one solo tackle, and a sack.
  3. Mario is also playing about half the snaps at LDE. I am in favor of this.
  4. Manchild is not lining up directly beside Mario very often. I am also in favor of this.
  5. Batman is running the ball well. Off tackle, mainly, but he’s showing some power is left in that engine.
  6. Dunta is owning TO so far. And he still plays the run extremely well.
  7. Dallas announcers are jerk offs. Smug jerk offs.
  8. Schaub has completions on 1-, 3-, and 5-step drops. David Carr does not.
  9. Tony Romo is being allowed too much time to pass against our base defense.
  10. Seriously. Jacoby Jones.

Bonus coverage: Another live blog at BRB.

I heart JJ

News and observations from the video tape:

  • Despite how they listed the starting lineup (i.e. Mario Williams, Amobi Okoye, Anthony Maddox, ND Kalu), Maddox was actually lined up beside Mario on all the plays where I was able to ID the linemen. As described repeatedly here, this makes sense.
  • Matt Schaub’s numbers were not good, but he made a couple impressive moves. The pass to Kevin Walter (dropped) with a blitz coming from his blindside was a thing of beauty and something that could not have happened last year. He got a little antsy on the possible TD pass to Walter, but I think he makes that pass 9 times out of 10.
  • Jason Babin is seriously fast. He just slipped past a shoulder block and chased down the RB from the backside.
  • Ron Dayne is still fat. I mean, he looks like he’s dropped a little weight, but he is f-a-t.
  • I really hope Kubiak noticed how teams were over committing on the goal line runs. I agree with the TV guys that there is no reason to risk putting your QB out on a naked bootleg in the preseason, but even Jared Lorenzen could have run that one in.
  • So, the first team D-line didn’t get as much penetration as I’d hoped. Kalu got in a little bit, and Mario had about three plays where he was this close. But that’s about it. I know the Bears O-line is very good (Rex Grossman was only sacked 21 times last year), but I still wanted to see a little more middle penetration.
  • OK, I’m just going to come out and say it–we don’t need Bethel Johnson. Mathis and Jones have the return game on lockdown. Wow.
  • I don’t think the announcers noticed that Manchild was not lined up alongside Mario. I say that because they were just talking about “people think maybe you put one of them on the other side… no.” What?
  • Charlie Adams is a little faster and a little more physical than I remembered. But these drops (Adams, Walter) are killing us.
  • Even if that was more hustle and output than we’ve seen in the rest of his career combined, Travis Johnson probably should have saved that little Riverdance for a TD that counted. Still, I laughed. Oh, and it was Babin again causing that pressure.
  • Speaking of, we are getting good pass rush with our 2s against their 2s.
  • Jacoby Jones was the best athlete on the field throughout the second quarter. I like this.
  • Why the hell didn’t the officials stop the clock for a measurement on that Sam Gado catch with :17 left? It was within a yard… surely that requires the sticks. The only thing I can think is that Rosenfels called the TO too quickly.
  • Kris Brown, 4/4. Consistently consistent.

That’s the end of the first half. I’m taking a break and I’ll update with second half notes this afternoon.

High five

Game on!

Sure, it’s only preseason. Sure, we’ll only get to see The Schaub, Batman, Manchild, and Super Mario for a few plays. But it’s football. Texans football. So… like I said… GAME ON!

One player I am curious to see tonight is Jon Abbate. The story is well-documented–Abbate, a linebacker at Wake Forest, left school early to enter the draft, but tore a hamstring at the combine (and was considered too short to boot), so he went undrafted. Abbate signed as with Houston, still planning on making the team as a linebacker. However, when Jameel Cook’s knee injury was slow to heal, Abbate was asked to make the switch to fullback, a position he hadn’t played since high school.

With that kind of attitude, it’s easy to get behind Abbate. And Jon invites all Texans fans to get behind something even more special.

As he has done in every game for the past year, Abbate plans to begin the fourth quarter of Saturday’s Houston Texans-Chicago Bears preseason game by holding up five fingers. Wherever football takes him, it’s still about remembering his younger brother, Luke. It has been that way since Valentine’s Day 2006, when he died in an automobile accident on his way home from lacrosse practice. He was only 15.
[***]

[Texans fans], too, are invited to join in, should they choose.

‘I hope they do,’ Abbate said. ‘We’ll see what happens. This is definitely a community like Winston-Salem. It could carry over. I hope it does. If not, I understand. My family and I will do it until my career is over with.’

While I won’t be at tonight’s game, I want to echo Stephanie. Please hold up five fingers at the start of the fourth quarter. Hopefully, the people around you will do the same and something pretty cool will happen at Reliant Stadium tonight.

(You know… in addition to beating the Flying Grossmen.)

Oh, here’s the YouTube video detailing the whole Abbate story.

Other than this, talent, and speaking Igbo, we’re really not that different

There are plenty of reasons to like Amobi Okoye. For instance, he’s smart. He’s incredibly athletic. He’s not Travis Johnson.

Perhaps the best thing about him, though, is that by all accounts he’s one of the most humble, down-to-earth people you’d ever meet. Apparently, fearing for your life throughout much of your childhood will do that to a guy.

As recently as eight years ago, Okoye worried almost daily that his father Augustine — or someone else he loved — might be killed by simply opening his mouth. In 1993, when the military overthrew the government in Nigeria, turmoil erupted in Okoye’s native country.

‘When the military took over, they were very hostile,’ said Augustine, who owned his own business and was a major contractor for the government before the coup. ‘They went from being hostile to a dictatorship. No freedom of speech. If you said something, you were either killed or something. It got real bad.’

That has got to suck. I mean, when I was 12, I wondered about a lot of things–how to find the last Rated Rookies to complete the set of Donruss baseball cards, whether anyone would be playing football behind the high school in the afternoon, where to maximize my chances to see boobies–but I never had to stress over whether my dad would be alive in the morning. Yikes.

My long Nigerian nightmare is over

In addition to being 20 years old, Amobi Okoye is now a Houston Texan. (Hat tip to Mark, who continues to make my job easy.) Late last night, Okoye signed a 6-year (voidable to five) deal with $12.785MM in guaranteed money (out of a total $17.6MM).

With that move, everyone who is supposed to be at camp will be at camp, where Kubiak can begin the process of crushing dreams and releasing underperforming players. (Travis Johnson, I am looking at you.)

It’s not that easy being green

Random updates, player notes, and assorted detritus.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should admit that I completely forgot about Jameel Cook’s injury when we were discussing moving Jon Abbate to FB in these comments. Now, I will grant you that Cook is not that good and that he made some really, REALLY stupid plays last year, but I did think that–if healthy–he would beat out a guy who hasn’t played FB since high school. Now, of course, we learn that not only is Cook not healthy, but that he will join Charles Spencer on the PUP list to start the season. So, it appears that Abbate is FB2, barring something strange happening. At 5′10″/230, he certainly has the build for it. (Click here for the video that will make you like Abbate unless you are a heartless turd.)

Still no word on Manchild. He wants to sign. The team wants to sign him. Kubiak is optimistic that he will get signed. Yet… nothing. Prediction: He signs some time late (like after 5) this afternoon. Alternate prediction: He doesn’t sign and I develop chronic heartburn.

Chester Pitts, in addition to going to Dubai and taking the time to tell us about it, has also pledged to be more energy efficient. I really have nothing to add to this.

Steph has a good piece at Fanhouse re: the battle at Center. In 20 words or fewer, I would sum up the situation thusly: Mike Flanagan good, Steve McKinney versatile but not as good, Drew Hodgdon mercifully moved to guard. Steph’s take differs ever-so-slightly. Read it.

Kasey Studdard is not Amobi Okoye

The Texans have reached an agreement Kasey Studdard. And, like nearly every other article you read about him, the linked entry says he “plays with a mean streak.” What the hell does that even mean? Does he pinch opposing linemen? Take his opponent’s mother out to a nice dinner and never call her again? Maybe one of the Longhorn fans can fill me in.

So, with Studdard in the fold, we have lowered the number of non-signees to four. Unfortunately (at the moment), that foursome includes the two guys who are going to get a whole lot of playing time. No disrespect to Brandon Harrison or Brandon Frye, who both stand a good chance at being number 2 on the depth chart at their positions, but I will rest a little easier once Manchild and JJ are signed.

Update: As Tim points out, Harrison signed about 5 hours after this post went up. I have magical powers.

Anthony Maddox got me a sweet deal on this sofa

Filed under “Betcha ESPN never mentioned this,” over the last eleven games of last season, the Houston Texans had a top-10 defense.

Now, before the negative types in the audience say anything, yes, I know the whole “if you remove all the bad, of course they were good” rebuttal. But, however true that argument is in other situations, it misses the huge underlying point here.

Last season, Kubiak took a 3-4 defense and transmogrified it into a 4-3. Considering the struggles of the 3-4 in 2005, especially against the run, one would have expected some struggles with the change in scheme. And struggle they did for the first six games.

Week 1. McNabb throws for 314 and 3 TDs, the Eagles rush for 130, and Houston loses 24-10.
Week 2. Mrs. Chesney throws for 400 and 3 TDs, the Colts rush for 125, and Houston loses 43-24.
Week 3. Brunell throws for 261 and 1 TD (and sets the consecutive completion record), the Redskins rush for 234, and Houston loses 31-15.
Week 4. Culpepper throws for 249 and 1 TD, the Dolphins rush for 70, and Houston squeaks out a 17-15 win.
Week 6. The Cowboys threw for 203 and 3 TDs, rushed for 170, and beat Houston 34-6.

Now, the conventional explanation for why this D struggled out of the gate was because it was attempting to fit square 3-4 pegs into round 4-3 holes. This sounds good, but isn’t completely true. Jason Babin, Travis Johnson, and Seth Payne were the only DL remnants (with Babin technically a LB in ‘05) from the 2005 season on the 2006 roster.

A more accurate reason is that the defense was almost completely new, not only in terms of scheme, but also in terms of personnel. Two-thirds of the starting DL from 2005 (Robaire Smith and Gary Walker) were missing from the ‘06 team. Meaning you had Travis Johnson and rookie Mario Williams thrust into a starting roles, Anthony Weaver starting at DE without the support of the Ravens’ D all around him, and a revolving door at the other DT position that started with Seth Payne and ended with someone who was delivering furniture a few weeks before he suited up.

Right behind those guys, you had a rookie MLB replacing both Antwan Peek and DaShon Polk, and a SLB (Orr) with only one full season and 59 career tackles. In fact, one could argue that the WLB Greenwood was the only member of the front seven who was a proven performer in the 4-3 (having played it in Miami).

Looking at all of that, not struggling would have been surprising. Yet, something happened on the way to the cellar–this group of guys gelled, the system clicked, and the defense became good. Their 300.1 YPG in the last ten games would have ranked 8th over the course of the whole season. Compared to other teams over the same span, that average also ranked the Texans in the top 10 in the NFL.

That a team so comprised would struggle out of the gate with such a switch is almost expected. That the same team would pick up the new system so well in five games so as to be one of the league’s best defenses over the last 10 games of the season is wholly unexpected. That a team would rise to that level despite having an injured RDE, uninspiring play from DT, and a ‘tweener at LDE is unheard of.

Along with David Carr packing his sandy vagina and moving to BBQ Hell,1 the development of the defense over the course of last season is one of the most exciting things about this upcoming year. After all, the team went out and improved the defensive line by bringing in Manchild and relegating Travis Johnson to the bench.2 DeMeco is another year older. Mario is healthy and has been working on his technique. Anthony Maddox is not beginning the season as a Rent-A-Center associate. Shawn Barber and Danny Clark were brought in to provide depth at linebacker (and possibly challenge for a starting spot). And on, and on, and on it goes. With the way this unit finished last season, if the pass coverage can just be passably decent (or if, by some sort of divine intervention, Petey Faggins becomes WAY better during camp), this side of the ball could be one of the best in football.

[Author's note: Tip of the cap to Stephanie whose post here gave me the idea for this one.]

1 Also known as “North Carolina.”
2 I fail to even pretend that Okoye will not be better than Bust Johnson.