About Lasterday
Sep 8, 2008 2008 Season, Andre Johnson, Anthony Weaver is a thief, Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, Curious Coaching, Damn it, DeMeco Ryans, Hi Steve!, Morlon Greenwood, Super Mario
Alt. post title: “Chainsaw Sodomy”
So, I suppose I have to say something about the game. Something more than “well, fuck,” I mean.
At the same time, there’s really not much to say that hasn’t been said. We played like shit, especially in the secondary and on the o-line. We let the back-to-back bad calls on the ball spot demoralize us. Schaub looked indecisive, slow to deliver, and (apparently) blind to the colors black and yellow. (He should see an optometrist about that.)
Before we pour salt into those wounds, however, let us see if I can come up with five positives from the contest:
1. Mario Williams. If last year’s 10 sacks in the last six games didn’t sway you, Mario’s dominance against a team that was holding the entire rest of our defense in check should. Two sacks, a forced fumble, and a team-high six tackles? He’s good.
2. DeMeco Ryans and Andre Johnson. You’ve gotta love two pros who, despite the fact that most of the team isn’t giving ANY effort and despite the score, continue to play their balls off until the end. Johnson was more or less unstoppable. Too bad Schaub never had the time to really exploit this.
3. Steve Slaton. I know that his average wasn’t that great, but dude ran hard, was not afraid of contact or to run between the tackles, and showed no hesitation in making his cut and going. If he’s not the starter soon, I’ll be shocked.
4. It’s only week 1. There’s a good chance that we will not face a more physical team all year than the Pittsburgh Steelers. There’s an equally good chance that our staff (sans Richard Smith) is smart enough to see where we sucked and try to make some adjustments (more on that in a bit). To get that winning record, we just have to go 9-6 now instead of 9-7. Not the end of the world. I think.
5. No injuries. For as bad as the game was, at least we escaped intact. Watching the debacle unfold, I was struck by how, had this game happened last year, at least four players would likely have wound up broken in half. [Update: After I wrote this, I heard from Chris that Ahman Green is injured. Big fucking deal.]
Enough with the Pollyanna bullshit. For every one good thing above, there are at least five bad things that happened. The ones that really stuck out were:
1. The Playcalling. This goes for offense and defense. Now, I suppose the latter is not surprising, as Richard Smith’s play selection was a topic of much anger and despair around here for all of the 2007 season (save, possibly, for two or three games in November). The former, however, did surprise me. If Shannahan can’t call a game better than that, maybe Gary needs to take control of that side of the ball for good. There was none of the explosiveness that we saw in the early part of last season. While some of that is because Schaub was pestered all day long by Harrison and Woodley, that doesn’t explain all of it. There was no attempt to run outside zone at all that I noticed, there were FAR too many short passes on third down, etc., etc., etc.
2. The Secondary. Holy Christ On Rollerskates, they were atrocious. The Fred might want to double-check and see if the equipment guy packed his jockstrap because Fred got shaken out of it early in the day. Reeves was bad, but actually not quite as bad as he’d been in the preseason (though it would have been nice if he had the hands to snag that fumble before it went out of bounds). But the safeties…if they were any worse, we’d have been better off playing with 9 defensive players. Demps looked slow and C.C. looked soft. I am with SOLIS here–we should move Demps to SS (he’s better moving forward and playing the run anyway) and let Eugene Wilson try his hand at FS. No other move really makes sense (until Dunta comes back, that is.)
3. All LBs whose names do not rhyme with ReMeco Dyans. Morlon Greenwood…dude…do you have any idea how big of an asshole you are making me look like? How could you have seemingly aged five years since January? Why are you ALWAYS out of position? Does it bother you that teams are throwing and running right at you now? C’mon, dude. And Zac, you weren’t necessarily awful, but you sure didn’t do anything to make me say “well, at least HE came to play today.”
4. The Offensive Line. Wow. Kung Fu Panda was brutal, but I am almost willing to give him a pass, as asking a rookie to hold James Harrison in check all day in his first start is a suicide mission from the outset. Eric Winston, I am not as willing to let you slide—you just got fat dollars from the team, yet you looked like you were trying to be a matador out there. Don’t gimme this “ole!” bullshit. Chris Myers, you might not want to let yourself get thrown into the running back. That could be a sign that you just got owned.
5. Matt Schaub. Yes, I know, he had little time to throw. When he did have time, however, he looked scared, he looked like a certain other Texans QB who had no mental clock for when to get rid of the ball, and he looked right past the Steelers defenders who might stand between him and his intended target. And what the fuck was that red zone throw that hit the goddamned crossbar?!? Who was supposed to catch that, Matthew?! Also, I know you love Andre Johnson. We all do. But you might want to look around a little bit from time to time so you don’t miss Vonta Leach so wideopen that he could have moonwalked into the fucking endzone.
There are plenty more, including 3/4ths of the defensive line, but you get the gist by the now.
*deep breath*
OK…all that said, I am not yet ready to panic. All of the bad spots can be fixed (or, in the case of the secondary, at least patched up and made to look decent) and we still have Baltimore coming up next week. They are like Pittsburgh (3-4 defense, surprisingly mobile QB) without all the good stuff (defensive speed, talent at WR). On top of that, the Jags were bad in every area I suggested they’d be bad this year and the Colts looked pretty exposed when faced with a team that was willing to throw under the Tampa-2 all day. Besides, the BE-SFs are without their intangibly great QB for 4-6 weeks (don’t buy into that 2-4 week bullshit) and will either suck while he’s gone or face the mother of all QB controversies. Life could be much, much worse.
I think.
Oh, as a final note, there is a difference between being a fan, being an internet troll, and just being an obtuse douchebag. Suffice it to say Beans Carter falls squarely into this last category. Apparently the Titans are the class of the AFC and the Texans are the worst team in football. Or something along those lines. It’s always so hard to decipher stupidity.
All-Time Texans Team - Defense - DE
Aug 20, 2008 All-Time Texans, Anthony Weaver is a thief, Super Mario
Picking up where we left off a while ago. On the defensive side of things, we’ve already hit FS (C.C. Brown), SS (sadly, also C.CN. Brown), and MLB (DeMeco Ryans). I think BFD gave up on the offense, though, when he realized he’d have to pick a LT. Up next, Defensive End.
I decided to go with DE as a single position, but with the understanding that I will pick two players. This is because (a) the position is one of the more fungible ones, relatively speaking, and (b) the role of the 3-4 DE and 4-3 DE differs a bit, so it’s just easier if I lump all the DEs together and choose based on performance in the system at the time.
The Candidates:
Gary Walker
Jerry DeLoach
Corey Sears
Robaire Smith
Anthony Weaver
Mario Williams
The first DE spot is a no-brainer. Mario, welcome to the All-Time team.
The second spot, however, is a little tougher. Gary Walker transitioned from a DT in Jacksonville to become a Pro-Bowl DE in Houston in 2002 with 6.5 sacks and 52 tackles. Unfortunately injuries to his shoulder and his groin limited Walker after 2002 and, though he started 30 more games over three seasons, he was never close to his 2002 level.
Jerry DeLoach started two full seasons (and parts of two others) at DE for your Texans. And he sucked. Badly.
Corey Sears was a starter for 12 games in one season (2003) and was non-descript. Meaning, of course, that he inspired less anger than Jerry DeLoach did.
Anthony Weaver…guh.
Meaning, lame as it is, the only competition for Gary Walker on this squad is Robaire Smith. Smith never put up good sack numbers, but watching him play, you could hardly blame him. The team was using an almost-textbook 3-4, sending LBs (notably the woefully-out-of-place Jason Babin and Kailee Wong) on blitzes to get after the passer and smith was a 4-3 DT playing a 3-4 DE role. He did defend 13 passes in his two seasons and he also posted 121 tackles over that same time. Not bad. Solid, even.
SO…do you go with the guy who had one very good year and was then wrecked by injury or the guy who had two solid years where he did exactly what he was expected to do? Well, given the inability this team has in getting QB pressure over the years, coupled with my preference for big play DEs, I am going with Gary Walker. Congrats, Gar.
