From his lips to Durga’s ears
Oct 31, 2008 Drunky Drunkerton, Duane Brown as Eliza Doolittle, Gary Kubiak, Inanity
With a nod to Tim, I present practice quotes from Friday. As is custom, some of these might not be 100% accurate.
(RB) Ahman (Green) did practice today. I have to go back and evaluate how he practiced. Most of his work was with the scout team, so we could simulate what it would be like to play Minnesota if Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor die before the game.
(on how much the team needs RB Ahman Green) Well, we need everybody except Petey.
Now, we have to go do it against a very good football team in their home stadium. So, we just have to play solid football and get ourselves in position to make that play to win a game and then make sure Sage Rosenfels is nowhere near the field.
(on anything else health-wise) No, we’re OK. 34 is ready to go. There will probably be a game-time decision on how many guys we suit up. Other than that we’re OK. Kevin is back to full speed, so Ahman should be the only question going into Sunday morning. But, fuck, we’re used to that by now.
Normally you’re sitting there as a coach grading 65 snaps and for Duane, 45 of those have been graded very good and 20 of them have been graded not good enough. So long as none grade as Jordan Black, I’m not that concerned.
[Duane] gets the chance now to go into a place that will be about as difficult to play, noise-wise and as great a player as he’s had this year (Vikings DE Jared Allen). To get him ready, we had Mario get drunk as fuck before practice.
Richard Smith and the Mystery of Pass Coverage
Oct 22, 2008 Drunky Drunkerton, Duane Brown as Eliza Doolittle, Dunta Robinson, Faggination, Fire Richard Smith, Fisted by Jessica Alba, Football 101, Fred Weary is dirty, I was told there would be no math, Rendhel and Sid, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., The Fred, Theft
If you have read any of the previous Xs/Os things here at DGDB&D, it should be pretty clear that I am defense-first kind of guy. For every one article on zone blocking, there are at least four on some aspect of our defense or lack thereof. It’s not that I don’t like offense, but given the choice I’d prefer to see Mario Williams knock someone unconscious than watch Owen Daniels get a first down. I’m just odd, I s’pose.
Anyway, because I’m a defensive guy, watching Richard Smith’s approach to my favorite side of the ball has been especially painful. Whether it’s repeatedly dropping Mario into coverage against a Tennessee team that didn’t really throw into the flat all day or benching his best cornerback in favor of someone who is in the conversation for worst player in the NFL, Smith consistently does everything wrong—and, conversely, nothing right—in his defensive playcalling. We’ve covered the lack of blitzing and general lack of common sense and even offered up a possible solution (that Smith would never apply because it takes courage and vision).
The one thing we haven’t really covered, however, except in post-game griping and general comments about defensive failure, is our pass-coverage philosophy. Yet, after seeing the predictable result of Petey Faggins one-on-one with a WR that only Nnamdi Asomugah could cover, I think it’s about time to tackle the defensive backfield. I hope to tackle it better than Will Demps is tackling right now.
First, some background. The Texans play a mix of man coverage (usually in the form of Cover-1 or Cover-2 Man) and Cover-2 zone. Just so we are all on the same page, let’s look at each of those schemes. (Note: as always, we are talking in generalizations here. There are a million tiny variations to all of these…none of which Richard Smith understands.)
Man/Cover-1 Theory. Our most common form of man coverage is the Cover-1. (Our second-most common form is the Cover-2 Man, but we’ll hit on that in a minute.) In Cover-1, the defense has one deep defender at or near the middle of the field (relative to the sidelines) and he is responsible for deep help. Underneath, you will generally have pure man coverage from your CBs and LBs, with the other safety—usually the SS—free to assist in man coverage, sneak up for run support, or blitz.
If you are paying attention, you can see the biggest flaw in the Cover-1: the deep safety is responsible for a TON of real estate and if he lacks the speed or guesses wrong on where to go, it is almost impossible for him to recover. Thus a Cover-1 requires a very good FS in the deep coverage.
Under Gregg Williams, the Redskins ran a Cover-1 as a base package quite a bit, with the thinking being that Sean Taylor was more than capable of playing the role. He was, but Williams continually failed to realize that the scheme put a tremendous amount of pressure on his corners—because they absolutely had to avoid getting burned deep—and they were most certainly not up to that task. Nevertheless, Williams’ reputation as an aggressive play-caller—a myth that we already addressed before the season—was due in large part to the Cover-1’s requirements.
What I mean by this is, because of the inherent flaw in Cover-1, teams that employ that coverage try to be more aggressive up front to prevent the opponent from having enough time to stretch the field and develop multiple deep routes, thereby protecting the safety. To do this, the Cover-1 attempts to employ many different blitz packages/man assigments, most of which revolve around bringing the SS up to LB depth and, from here, either blitzing him or blitzing a LB or CB with that safety picking up the appropriate receiver. For this to be effective, however, any non-blitzing CBs/LBs (especially the WLB) have to be able to cover until the pressure gets to the QB.
Cover-1 also suffers from plenty of room after the catch, as most or all of the underneath defenders are locked up in man coverage of their own and, should a WR catch the ball, are not in position to make a quick tackle. (Think Greg Camarillo on a slant.)
Why it doesn’t work for the Texans. I think you see where I am going with this. Basically, in this coverage, you are asking Will Demps to cover sideline to sideline, Brandon Harrison (or, prior, C.N. Brown) to lock up in man coverage, and Petey Faggins and Jacques Reeves to maintain tight man coverage until Richard Smith’s non-effective blitz package gets to the QB. It should come as no surprise that, in the aforementioned Immolation Of The Faggins looked to be in Cover-1. [EDIT: Triple347 says the Johnson completion was in quarter-quarter-half coverage. See comments for discussion.
Even worse, though, is that Smith bastardizes the hell out of his Cover-1. Far be it from him to send the SS on a blitz. No, he utilizes the SS almost entirely in pass coverage from the LB depth. Meaning that teams with even two games worth of film on the Texans' D quickly figure out that the SS is bluffing and, thus, they don't try to account for him in blitz pickup. Instead, they take advantage of the fact that our SSs don't backpedal all that well---most don't---and they abuse him in coverage or throw over the top of him if he is dropping back into a middle zone.
When Brown/Harrison aren't all the way up at LB depth, Smith sneaks the up toward the middle of the field and in behind DeMeco Ryans, almost as if they are playing some kind of non-commital run support. Behind our best tackler. Because he apparently needs the backup?
Cover-2/Cover-2 Man. "Cover-2" might be the most overused and misunderstood phrase in football defense today. Pretty much all teams will occasionally come out in something resembling a Cover-2, but most have a wrinkle of some sort because most lack the personnel to effectively run a true Cover-2.
Cover-2 is a 2-deep, 5-under zone system. In this coverage, both safeties are responsible for half of the deep part of the field. The CBs are in press coverage and are each responsible for 1/5th of the short/intermediate zone underneath the two safeties. The three linebackers are each responsible for another 1/5. Because the safeties will generally line up between their respective hashmark and the sideline and because they will work toward the sideline at the snap, the biggest hole in the Cover-2 coverage is in between them, behind the MLB.
[Quick side-note: The Tampa-2 variant drops the MLB into deeper coverage to address the hole in the straight Cover-2 and has the CBs/remaining LBs responsible for 1/4th of the field each.]
Whereas the Cover-1 attempts to be aggressive up front to prevent the big play, the Cover-2 typically uses just the four-man rush and attempts to take away the big play by going into a bend-don’t-break mode. There are holes in the coverage between the zones, so teams will tend to throw underneath the two safeties, which is just what the defense is encouraging.
In Cover-2 Man, the safeties still play the same way, but the coverage underneath is pure man. The safeties help with deep coverage into their zones, but the man coverage will stay with the receivers through those zones as well, effectively leading to double-coverage on deep routes.
Regardless of whether the team is in Cover-2 or Cover-2 Man, the one place they should never, ever get beat deep is on the sidelines. The CBs have the WRs through the intermediate zone and the safeties, who moved toward the sideline at the snap, pick them up as they get deeper. Assuming your safeties can do that (and that your CBs consider basic things like “turn your head” and “don’t get roasted off the line”), the Cover-2 allows you to force teams to throw short-to-intermediate passes toward the middle of the field (thereby giving you the added benefit of forcing the opposition to throw the ball past many more hands), with the safeties coming up to make quick tackles. Of course, that also requires that you have safeties that tackle well…
Why this doesn’t work for the Texans. Again, I think you see where this is headed. The corners that Smith insists on giving the most reps are incapable of defending balls thrown over the top of them. The safeties seem incapable of giving help in the intermediate zone or in picking up WRs as they come into the deep zone. Will Demps especially has the annoying habit of letting the WR coming into his zone get past him before he reacts.
It is telling that we are CONSISTENTLY beat along the sidelines at every depth. The basic tenets of this coverage require that you have safeties who can defend the go/corner routes, not let WRs get behind them, and, most importantly, don’t get so worried about the underneath stuff that you bite on double-move. Simply put, we don’t have that.
****
You see the most glaring common weakness through the whole discussion as it pertains to us? OUR SAFETIES ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO RUN ANY OF THE COVERAGES WE ARE ASKING THEM TO RUN. Oh, sure, our Faggins and Reeves are very bad and they deserve their fair share of the blame—blame I am more than happy to heap on Petey at every opportunity—but at least we have Dunta Robinson, Fred Bennett, and Antwaun Molden available. Cornerback could theoretically be fixed if the DC would use some common sense. But we are stuck with the safety corps that we currently feature.
So, how to fix it? By “hiding” the safeties in a Cover-3!
Cover-3 Theory. If you didn’t know it before, by now you’ve realized that the number in Cover-# refers to the numbers of players in the deep zone. It’s a handy shorthand, but it does tend to oversimplify things. Regardless, in the Cover-3, there are (shocking!) three guys in the deep zone, with each responsible for 1/3 of the field. But here’s the wrinkle: unlike the Cover-2, where the two deep players are safeties, the Cover-3 generally uses two corners and a safety in the deep zone.
in a standard 2-corner, 2-safety scheme, it works like this: On the snap, the FS moves toward the middle of the field. The two corners are playing up near the line and they break back, basically running with the WRs while working back to their deep thirds. The SS is freed to rotate into the flat, or blitz, or fill a LB zone if one of them blitzes, or any number of other things. Also, because he’s not responsible for a deep third, the SS does not have to be able to run with deep routes or backpedal all that well, so you make up for a lack of speed/cover skills at SS. The OLBs are responsible for the flats or hook zones, while the MLB is responsible for the intermediate middle (DeMeco would excel in this because of his sideline-to-sideline speed). In one fell swoop, you limited what you are asking each safety to do, you’ve created a situation where DeMeco is utilized to his full ability, you’ve maximized the value of the physical corners (Robinson, Bennett, possibly Molden) because you are allowing them to jam at the line and then run with the route so they can defend the short or intermediate stuff, AND you are putting your OLBs in a position to blitz or cover the hook zone rather than try to run man-to-man with a TE. And if you can teach him to turn his head, Reeves’ speed would be a huge asset in getting back to his deep third, so even he would be improved.
Sounds cool, no? But here’s where it gets even better. You can run all sorts of shapes and formations out of it. You can disguise it as man coverage by keeping the SS back in his normal spot with the CBs in press coverage. You can move the SS up into the box for run support or to blitz him. You can blitz one of the OLBs and abandon the hook zone, assuming you’ll get to him before the WR gets open in the hook/short zone, or have the SS fill that hook zone and hope the QB tries to throw behind the blitz. You can run a zone blitz in front of the Cover-3, something that would be near impossible in the Cover-2, with the DE dropping into the flat.
And there’s more—you can even change up your personnel within the scheme or the scheme within the personnel. Because the FS is playing deep center field and ball hawking, you could occasionally put Dunta in that role, with Molden and Bennett playing jam coverage, thereby getting your big physical corners on the field at the same time while also freeing up Dunta to try to knock people out. You could slide an athletic linebacker like Xavier Adibi into the SS role and have him up in the box doing the same thing your SS would be doing in the straight Cover-3. You can disguise the coverage and confuse the opponent by playing zone on one side while still letting Fred Bennett lock up in man coverage on the other side. Hell, you can run the Cover-3 with your nickel package, with one corner locking up in man, one dropping into a deep third, and both safeties staying back. (You’ll notice that ALL these iterations ask the safeties to do less than we are currently asking them to do, while attempting to create some confusion and pressure up front and maintain deep coverage across the entire deep zone.)
Now, of course, all defenses have holes and inherent weaknesses. Cover-3 is no different. It is particularly susceptible to short routes if the CBs are selling out to get back to their deep zones quickly. This can be overcome somewhat by cheating out just a little bit with the OLBs and getting them into the flats more quickly. Additionally, you can swap coverage zones every now and then—for example, have the SS retreat into the deep zone the CB rotate up into the hook/flat zone if you catch a QB trying to consistently throw underneath the retreating CB. Even with these drawbacks and flaws, I know I would feel a lot better asking Bennett to react to a quick hitch than asking Will Demps to make an open field tackle. (And I’m fairly confident that the 96-yarder to Calvin Johnson doesn’t happen if we are in Cover-3.)
***
Take just a second and think about this whole discussion. You have three basic coverage philosophies here. Your personnel is a bad fit for one, a horrible fit for one, and a pretty good fit for one. Why in the name of Durga would the bad one and the horrible one get used extensively while the pretty good fit gets left on the bench beside your best cover corner?
The answer, best I can tell, is because Richard Smith is trying to kill me.
Kickoff “Schaub, Stupidity, Suggestions, and Snatch” Edition
Sep 23, 2008 Boobies, Drunky Drunkerton, H/T Eric, Kickoff
In other news, Gary Kubiak hates Sage Rosenfels. According to Coach K, Matt Schaub is still the starter for your Houston JUGGERNAUT. Because, you know, a 50.3 rating and performance so poor that ten different people have asked me what the hell is wrong with Schaub are grounds for keeping your job.
Damn. Merrill Hoge might be retarded. And, by “might be,” I mean “is definitely.” But I still liked him when he was ripping on VY and standing by his comments. Now it seems he’s explaining himself. He doesn’t HATE Vince; it’s just Hoge’s job to be critical of players and he’s sorry if he offended anyone. OK. Whatever. Wuss.
I’m sort of speculating. David Thornton teased Kerry Collins about how slow he looks when running the football. Collins then told Thornton to shut his black mouth and bring him a beer. (Note to Titans fans: No, the drunk racist jokes never get old.)
Finally.
Barbaro has risen! It’s a miracle!
Jul 23, 2008 Barbaro is dead, Charles Spencer, Drunky Drunkerton, Teams that aren't the Texans
Not since Barbaro, the most amazing race horse. human, and goldfish in history, managed to survive a brush with death and return to win the 2008 presidency have we seen a miracle of such magnitude. After being cut, the Texans’ own version of Barbaro, Charles Spencer, was…..*sobs*
…..was……*keyboard blows up from tears*
…..saw….*lousy fuckin’ replacement dyslexic keyboard*
…..was….
…SIGNED BY THE CAROLINA PANTHERS TODAY! One can only imagine the stirring tribute that Dee Mirich is penning as I type.
Outside of being a total and complete asshole, I have two thoughts:
1. Other teams are now feasting on our scraps, which is a mighty damn good feeling. As depressing as it was to look at the draft picks in our history, it’s pretty awesome to see where we are today.
2. To Charles, aka “Big Nasty”: My best, and most sincere wishes of good luck to you. I can’t tell you how jealous I am that you are continuing to pursue your dream. I hoped against the odds that you’d be back, and I hope the Panthers give you another year to heal. I know I’m no Dee Mirich, but I really do hope you have a long and successful career.
Kickoff
Jun 23, 2008 2008 Season, Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, DeMeco Ryans, Drunky Drunkerton, Super Mario
And I want a blumpkin from Natalie Portman while I sit on a toilet made of solid platinum. Vince Young wants to throw the deep ball more often this year and his new offensive coordinator might let him do it. One problem: “Last year Young’s completion percentage jumped nearly 10 points from his rookie season, but he was 8-of-47 (17 percent) on attempts when the ball traveled 21 yards or more in the air. That was down from his rookie season, when he completed 18.9 percent of similar throws. The NFL average last season on passes of 21 yards or more in the air: 28.4 percent.”
Kearse to MADD: Go get me a beer, toots! Sticking with the B-ESFs for a moment, it seems The Freak was arrested over the weekend for driving while intoxicated in Nashville. I still fail to understand how guys can get in trouble for DWI in the city where they play. Aren’t there roughly 100,000 people within walking distance who would give him a ride home for free just to say they’d done it? (H/T to Eric for this link and the previous one.)
Mario and DeMeco slighted by Madden. Not a single Texan was the highest-rated player at his position in the forthcoming Madden release. According to the Madden overlords, Jason Taylor and Aaron Kampman, both rated 98, are higher than Mario Williams. Brian Urlacher, also 98, is rated above DeMeco Ryans. Now, while the latter is arguable, the former really isn’t–I can’t imagine a single D-coordinator in football would take Taylor or Kampman over Williams (or Jared Allen). (H/T to grungedave)
More news and notes for 6/9
Jun 9, 2008 2008 Season, Bloggerating, Drunky Drunkerton, Teams that aren't the Texans
As Eric mentioned, but I was waiting on the post on the Texans site, Quinn Gray and Jordan “Turnstile” Black are history. As much as I had hoped Rosy Rosenfels would be traded, it certainly ain’t gonna happen now. Also, it makes Gray’s decision to sign with us for the minimum that much more interesting. He’s sure to get picked up quickly.
Michael Strahan says “Adios, peeps,” as he informed the New York Giants he is retiring. A helluva football player who managed to become much better as he aged, he’s probably a first ballot Hall of Famer. Mittens is delighted that Strahan won’t nail him during practice, which is bad news for the rest of us. As a side note, the contest for ugliest NFLer is now re-open.
Will Leitch is quitting Deadspin? May jeebus have mercy on us all.
Finally, what is it about UT athletes doing stupid things lately? Ced Benson was arrested for a DWI here in Austin over the weekend. Remember the name Matt Forte, as he’s the likely starting RB for Da Bears this year. As for Benson? The CFL awaits. (OK, maybe not, but he’s on seriously thin ice with the Bears front office, Roger Goodell, and UT alums like me)
Update: Goodbye, Ced.
MIZZOU-RAH! MIZZOU-RAH! MIZZOU-RAH, TIGERS!
Dec 1, 2007 2008 Draft, Blasphemy, Boobies, Drunky Drunkerton, Inanity, Non-Texan stuff, Ohio State makes baby Jesus cry, Predictions Guaranteed To Go Wrong, Sandy Vag, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Schaub Experiment
So, let me get this straight. The University of Missouri, the same institution where I spent my freshman year of college, is playing the Oklahoma Land-Thieving Criminals for both the Big XII title and the opportunity to play for the National Championship. Even more importantly for my purposes, however, a win by both MU and WVU means that the necropedophiles of Ohio State will be shut out of the title game.
Yeah, you could say I am interested. (As I wrote that sentence, OU took a 7-3 lead. Jerks.)
But, push coming to shove, I would take an MU loss and an OSU national title (ugh) if the Texans could go into Nashville and beat the holy living shit out of Vince Young. I’m not talking about a win–I want a win, but that would not be enough to offset Lucifer in a Sweater Vest winning a title. Rather, I am talking about Mario Williams separating one or more of Vince’s joints on a hit that makes my television rattle as time expires on a 27-3 JUGGERNAUT victory.
In Schaub’s name, I pray.
Last week: 4-9 (yikes)
Season: 103-69
Week 13 Picks
San Francisco @ Carolina. When Zoolander was signed by Carolina, a number of non-Texans fans told me “you’ll see…he’ll catch on somewhere else and be really good; it was all the Texans fault.” In recent weeks, no fewer than four of them have since retracted that position and admitted that, yes, David Carr does suck immeasurably. Then again, the 49ers are poster children for sucking. I haven’t seen this much sucking in one place since I let my subscription to SugarDVD lapse. Pick: San Francisco
Buffalo @ Washington. I would like to think that the Redskins are going to come out and lay a royal smackdown in memory of Sean Taylor. Unfortunately, they have played like ass when Taylor has not been there. Something has to give, I guess. On the other hand, Buffalo shat upon me last week, so I won’t pick them on the road in a game like this. Pick: Washington
JUGGERNAUT @ Tennessee. Prior to heading off to Nashville, where it is likely he will be arrested after shanking Bud Adams, Tim was stuck in meetings for two days. Because I am a nice person who has absolutely nothing to do at work most of the time, I sent emails to distract him. At one point, I was bitching about certain aspects of my job–talking to rapists, looking at pictures of dead babies, etc.–when I mentioned that two months ago, I was forced to take pictures of a prisoner’s dick. Yep. As if that’s not bad enough, it actually happened twice; first I took pictures in the “natural” state and then I was sent back two days later where I had to wait for him to get “ready” in a bathroom so that I could photograph it that way. Now, I work about twenty minutes per week, rarely get to work before 9 or leave after 4, and somehow I still feel like I am losing in this bargain. Pick: Houston
Atlanta @ St. Louis. ATL to STL / on them things and crunk as hell / Your system blast, then let it bump / Spark the L and raise it up. Pick: Atlanta
Seattle @ Philadelphia. The next person who says that the Eagles showed a “blueprint” for beating the Pats gets a mouthful of basset hound shit. I’m not even playing–I have the hound and I’m not afraid to use him. Pick: Seattle
Detroit @ Minnesota. I might have overreached last week when I said that there was no way the Vikings would shut down the Giants’ passing game. (Current game score: OU 7, MU 6.) So, we have a Vikings team that may have AP back against a Detroit Christketeers team that seems in a freefall. Seems too obvious. Pick: Detroit
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis. From Big Cat Country’s “Fyodor Dostoevsky’s guide to the AFC South: Absurd Metaphors for everyone!“: “Dimitri is a character obsessed with obtaining redemption, obsessed with rising above his background and overcoming the burden of sin in his heart. Jacksonville is at team obsessed with overcoming the Colts, of overcoming their reputation as an inconsistent and emotional team, and finally finding their Grushenka. The obsession only enhances their emotional intensity, and it’s not until they overcome that intensity and play with focus that they’ll find themselves at the top of the AFC South.” Umm, yeah. That’s what I was going to say. Copy cat. Pick: Indianapolis
San Diego @ Kansas City. New rule: You lose to the Raiders one week, I pick against you the next. Pick: San Diego.
New York Jets @ Miami. If you are the Dolphins, in addition to being ungodly inept at pretty much everything, you have to consider this game your last, best chance to actually win a game this year. Which you probably won’t. Assuming the Dolphins get the first overall pick, who do you think they take? If they assume Ronnie Brown will recover, they probably don’t take Darren McFadden. They just drafted John Beck, so it’s unlikely they’d take Brian Brohm or Matt Ryan. The defense is getting kind of old, so a pick like Glenn Dorsey makes sense, but do they take him #1 overall? In the end, they’ll find some way to screw this thing up. Go ‘Phins. Pick: New York Jets
Denver @ Oakland. Oh, Mike Shannahan, you wily genius. People say you can’t kick to Devin Hester, you show them by kicking to Devin Hester. Common sense can’t hold YOU down, Mike. No way, no how. Thankfully, you get a game this week against a team that is lucky to beat their scout team in a given practice. Pick: Denver
(OU 14, MU 6. Fuck.)
Cleveland @ Arizona. I was going to write something about John McClain right here, but I am going to rant instead. Why the fuck can NO ONE get the reverse/double reverse thing down? Missouri just got a two-point conversion on a reverse option, yet Kirk “I want to have sex with Darren McFadden” Herbstreit said “double reverse” no fewer than six times. Is this so hard? Hell, it wasn’t even an end around that started the play–it was an inside handoff to the RB, who handed to the WR on the reverse. This is pretty much the classic reverse, aside from Chase Daniel starting the play in the shotgun. Sweet Christ. (OU 14, MU 14. Halftime.) Pick: Cleveland.
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans. NFC South–catch the thrill! If you were building a team right now, would you rather have Earnest Graham or Reggie Bush? Yeah, me too. Pick: Tampa Bay
New York Giants @ Chicago Bears. If this isn’t the greatest picture ever, it is certainly on the short list. Ah, alcohol…the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems. Pick: New York Giants
Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh. I am generally a contrarian bastard when it comes to pretty much everything sport-related. The world hates Barry Bonds? I love the guy. The world wants the Pats to lose? 19-0, baby. I don’t do this on purpose, but it is an incredibly consistent part of my personality. Strangely, however, my feelings on Chad Johnson have mirrored the public sentiment; he’s gone from being outlandish and hilarious to annoying and contrived in a pretty short span of time. I sort of miss the Barry Sanders approach to being in the endzone–act like you’ve been there before and you plan to be there again soon. Pick: Pittsburgh
New England @ Baltimore. Correct me if I am wrong, but you do have to score at least two points to win a football game, right? Sucks for Baltimore. Pick: New England
UPDATE: Fuckin’ Mizzou. Well, at least WVU lost as well, so there is still hope that someone who can beat OSU will get in the game with them.
Heaven, Hell, or Houston
Oct 19, 2007 Beer, Bloggerating, Boobies, Drunky Drunkerton, Self-Referential Stuff
Come 6AM tomorrow, I will be on my way to H-town. Anyone within shouting distance of the Bayou City who enjoys such things as, say, the Texans and alcohol should stop by Jimmie’s Place, 2803 White Oak Dr, 77007 at some time after 7PM. Those who do not like the Texans and alcohol are probably reading the wrong blog. May I suggest a different one which you might find more comfortable, comrade?
Expect nothing from me until Monday. Oh, and someone feed the dogs while I am gone.
Homer no function beer well without
Oct 17, 2007 Beer, Bloggerating, Drunky Drunkerton, Self-Referential Stuff
By the way, if you think that you are likely to show up to the human sacrifice party, let me know either in the comments or by email so we can try to snag as much seating as we will need.
Update: We’ve bumped the start time for this soiree to 7PM in order to accomodate the geriatric crowd. The end time will likely not change.
Punk in Drublic
Oct 10, 2007 Beer, Drunky Drunkerton, Self-Referential Stuff
Lost in the hoopla and hullabaloo surrounding Travis Johnson is the fact that the second DGDB&D/BRB BLOG DORK DRINKING PARTY is less than two weeks away.
Unfortunately, as of right now, that is the only detail we have for said party. I am going to list all of the places mentioned through email or comments and I am asking any (all) of you–especially those who might actually show up–to opine on the merits of one or more. First, the parameters:
1. The party is set for Saturday night, October 20. Because it’s a Saturday night, things like Sunday ticket are not important, though that is probably a good sign regarding the quality of the bar.
2. Assuming it’s not raining, we’d be almost retarded to not be outside if at all possible, considering nighttime in Houston in October is about the only time one doesn’t run the risk of spontaneous combustion by being outside. (I kid because I love. Seriously, though… outside is cool.)
3. Nothing “hip.” God, I hate hip. Because I am not hip. I am old, chubby, and have the face of a 19-year-old. There is nothing hip about me. If you made a list of uncool people, the only people above me would be BFD, Kirk Cameron, the entire population of North Dakota, and Tony Blair.
4. It clearly must serve alcohol.
With all that said, here are the places.
1. Wet Spot
2. Buffalo Wild Wings (note: rumor has that they don’t serve liquor as late as other places)
3. Flying Saucer–gotta love any place with that much beer
4. Griff’s–Irish pubs are always nice
5. Kenneally’s–see above
6. Front Porch
7. Jimmie’s–Tim described this place as a “complete dump that serves Pearl in a can and lets you bring your own liquor; I hope to get married here one day.”
8. Kay’s
9. Marquis–adult book store turned into a bar, but lacking a porch/patio/deck
Whiskey River take my mind
Aug 11, 2007 Drunky Drunkerton, Inanity, Preseason 2007, Teams that aren't the Texans
In honor of tonight’s game (which I may or may will not be live blogging), I present to you a photo. If you’ve ever wondered who would take the reins if Rex Grossman got hurt…
Ladies and Gents, I present Kyle Orton.
You stay classy, Kyle.
