DGDB&D: a Texans blog.

Gary Kubiak discusses defense

Nov 19, 2008 2008 Season, Bad Idea Jeans, Curious Coaching, Fire Richard Smith, Gary Kubiak might be high, God hates ugly, Inanity, This is a rather lame and pointless post, Unnecessarily long posts

From HT.com, some Monday quotes.  The press conference (as expected) featured a lot of questions about the defense or lack thereof.

(on if there is anything he can do on defense that he hasn’t done) “Yeah, I think obviously we’ve got to find some more ways to be effective.

You could start by firing the person who is making you ineffective.  No?  OK.  Fine.

We have played a lot of guys.

Many of whom–and I’m looking at you, Jacques–do not deserve to be getting anywhere near the number of snaps they are getting.  That goes back to that dude who you refuse to fire, doesn’t it?  No?  Damn.

Read the rest of this entry »

sigh

Nov 17, 2008 2008 Season, Curious Coaching, Ensagenation, Faggination, Fuck Jared Allen, Gary Kubiak might be high, Rosencopter, Rosie Rosenfels

The English language is severely limited, at least when it comes to adjectives to desribe a situation or mood.  For example, last year, we noted that there wasn’t really a word to describe a situation where you are pissed with how long something took, but incredibly pleased with the end result, so we coined one: fagginated.

Well, along those same lines, I can’t really think of a word that describes how you feel after something bad happens when you knew all along it was going to happen.  I mean, “deflated” doesn’t really get there, because your hopes were never really up if you were being realistic.  “Pissed” doesn’t cover it because it’s hard to get too angry about something you saw coming; that’d be like getting angry that Saw VI was being released.  So I am going to go with “ensaged.”  For example, you totally screw up a million dollar project at work and subsequently get fired, your firing could leave you ensaged–you saw it coming, but it still pretty much sucks.

In that vein, I was totally ensaged with the ending of yesterday’s game.  When we got the ball back with roughly two minutes, bigwood25, who was watching the game at my house, commented that we still had plenty of time and would probably win this to get even for the previous loss to Indy.  Already resigned to my fate, I remarked, simply, “no, Sage will definitely find a way to mess this up.  I have no doubt.”

Interception, ballgame.  Ensagination ensues.

What does it even mean when you reach this point with your team, when you are absolutely positive that they will find a way not to win a game that most teams (other than the Rams and Chiefs) would have had better-than-average odds to win?  Two minutes left with a top five offense–we should have had at least 50-50 odds to get there and get it done.  But I bet you would be hard-pressed to find a Texans fan who had even the slightest hope that we would actually pull it out.  Because we never, ever, EVER do.

So, yeah.  I was ensaged.  Damn it.  But I went from ensaged to full-on irritated when I read the following postgame quotes:

Kubiak: (on the interception at the end of the game) “The thing that you are trying to do right there is just get yourself in position to throw a Hail Mary toward the end zone. That’s all you are trying to do.”

No.  NO.  That is NOT “all you are trying to do.”  You had the ball in their territory with about a minute to play.  You had an offense that had moved the ball well all day.  They had yet to consistently stop your passing game OR your running game.  Wht you are trying to do there is march down the field, get out of bounds around the 15- or 20-yard line with 25 seconds to play, and take two to three shots at the endzone on real pass patterns.  Saying you were trying to get in Hail Mary position in that situation is either revisionist history or, more likely, a sign that you had ZERO faith in your QB to actually manufacture a crunch-time drive.  Neither answer really pleases me, but the latter is especially irritating since you continue to insist that the team doesn’t miss a beat when we switch from Matt to Sage.  Would Schaub have made that drive?  I honestly don’t know.  But I do know I would have felt roughly 13183736 times more confident in our chances.  Then again, if you are just telling the team to get into chuck-and-pray position, maybe ANY confidence on my part would have been severely misguided.

Sage: (on the interception in the final drive) “We had four verticals on and they rolled a cover that sort of surprised me and I thought I had a chance with Kevin (Walter) on the sideline. I saw Owen Daniels flash. I think Owen Daniels was open enough, but I just made a bad threw [sic]. I threw it behind him and probably should have just checked the ball down or something else. I really just made a bad throw. You know, we had a chance. To come into this place, it’s a hard place to win and we had a chance. They made the plays today and we didn’t.”

First..wait…”sort of surprised” you?  Really?  A six-man zone when they are trying to keep everything in front of them and not give you the sidelines “surprised” you?  Are you also surprised when the sun comes up?  That coverage was not the least bit surprising; they’d used something similar for most of the drive.  Just because the corner stuck with Owen a little longer than he had before should not be surprising, especially for an NFL QB.

Second, “probably?”  So you’re saying there’s a chance you should have still gone ahead and made that same throw?  Even knowing what you know now?  Good god.

Finally, not “we.”  You.  Well, you and the defense, but for purposes of this conversation, YOU failed to make the play.  You threw an awful ball that everyone watching knew you would throw.  That not on anyone but the guy tossing the pigskin.\

In the end, though, whether ensagenated or irritated, the end result is the same—another loss, another lost season, and another week of cursing the names of Sage Rosenfels and Jared Allen.  Great.  Because I don’t already have enough of that in my life, right?

DGDB&D Guest Post feat. Vega

Sep 24, 2008 Conventional Wisdom Can Blow Me, Curious Coaching, Gary Kubiak might be high, Guest Posts, I really dig my readers, I was told there would be no math

Because he was the only other person besides myself that I saw arguing that Kubiak’s fourth-down plays were statistically correct, I asked math dork guru Vega to run the numbers for a guest post.  Enjoy.

70% of Statistics are Made Up on the Spot
by: Vega

Last week, Gary Kubiak went for it on fourth down six times in the game against the BE-SF’s. SIX!! Who the fuck does that?! Did he have a meth-contact high? Probably. But I think that accounts more for his play calling and challenges than it did for his fourth down decisions.

Kubiak actually played the percentages pretty well on those situations. Yeah, I know we still lost. Yeah, I know we only made 2 of those 6 (33%). But that’s the thing about percentages. There’s always that chance you’ll get fucked. The idea is to increase the probability that you fuck someone else, because we all know it’s better to fuck than be fucked. [Ed. note: Not according to Foomey.] Simply put, that’s really the coach’s only job.

We’ve all heard about the fact that coaches are as a whole more conservative on 4^th down than they statistically should be, but what does that really mean? The original line of thinking on fourth down conversions vs. field goals comes from this paper from Economics Professor David Romer from the University of Cal–Berkley. He used economic models of expected returns to see if coaches were really maximizing their probability of winning. If you’re not into busting your brain on math with no numbers, let me give you the super simplified version.

Romer starts by assigning a value to field position. Basically, he assigns expected points based on the long term expected return of having first and ten from every yard line minus the value of where you would leave your opponent. For example, having first and ten from your own one is worth -1.6 points because you’re unlikely to score many points, but you’re likely to leave your opponent with good field position.

He then estimated the value of kicks at every point on the field by taking the expected point return on a field goal minus the value of average field position on the ensuing kickoff. For punts he took the value of the average field position of where you would leave your opponent. Finally, he looked at fourth down conversion probabilities for 4^th and 1, 4^th and 2, all the way to 4^th and 10, at every yard line (technically he used 3^rd down stats because there wasn’t enough data on 4^th downs, but it works pretty well).

When the dust settled, Romer had developed a method where you can look at fourth and whatever from any point on the field and determine your expected point return by either going for it or kicking. He was then nice enough to plot this on a chart so you can just look at it and see what you should do (statistically speaking). Easy peasy, Japanesy.

Now let’s take a look at the six occasions where Kubiak went for it.

* Within standard error, so there is no definitive answer, but it is on the “Go for it” side.

So it looks like with the exception of the last two, Kubiak made the statistically rational decision four out of six times. Ah, if only it were that simple.

For the sake of simplicity, the study was done with data independent of game situations. In other words, it didn’t take into consideration the score, time left on the clock, quality of the teams, etc. So let’s look at each of these a little bit closer.

· 4^th and 1 from Tenn 11; 9:58 2^nd Q: Romer says to go for it. At this point, there was plenty of time left in the game so we can take Romer’s recommendation at face value. Good call.

· 4^th and 4 from Tenn 10; 5:20 3^rd Q: This one is close. According to Romer, when a call is right on the boundary, the team should be fairly indifferent to going for it vs. kicking, so you should really play the game situation. I can see the argument against Kubiak as a FG would have made the score 24-15 with over a quarter left to play. Remember that if we kick the FG, Tenn probably ends up with the ball at the 27, so we in essence reduce our probability of getting the ball back with the same score. Still, considering Tennessee had started going with the “let’s just not fuck up” game plan and we would leave them field position worth about -1, so we stand a good chance of getting the ball back with good field position. Hold on… I have a headache… All in all, both the score and the game situation slightly lean towards going for it, so I say go for it.

· 4^th and 3 from Tenn 17; 9:11 4^th Q: Again, this one is close so we need to consider the game situation. Down twelve with 9 minutes left. Kick a FG and we need another FG and a TD to win. If we miss, we need two TDs. The argument for conservatism is a little stronger here as the game situation starts to become more important than the statistical analysis. The problem here though is that we had 2^nd and 3. We ran it left for two yards on second down and then threw to Slaton in the flat on 3^rd for a loss of two. Way to push the ball down field guys.

· 4^th and 2 from Tenn 2; 7:12 4^th Q: Ok, this one is a no brainer. The stats say go and the game situation says go. That said, I’d like to send a big “Fuck You” to Kubes on the play calling again. Let’s look at the prior plays.

o 1^st and 4 from the 4: Run Slaton right end for three yards.

o 2^nd and 1 from the 1: Incomplete pass to a well covered Apostrophe. That’s a timing route that wasn’t even close. With that coverage, Schaub should have either floated one to the corner or looked for another receiver. That’s fucking crazy talk!

o 3^rd and 1 from the 1: Pass to Kevin Walter for -1 yard. Yeah, because when I have one yard to go against a super aggressive defense, I don’t even like to look at the endzone.

o 4^th and 2 from the 2: Run Slaton up the middle against the strength of the defense. Look, Slaton had a great game, but most of that success was to the left and to a lesser extent to the right; NOT up the middle where our Oline was getting dominated. Throughout the game, Slaton had one rush up the middle that gained more than one yard and that was to close out the first half.

· 4^th and 10 from Tenn 48; 4:26 4^th Q: Romer says kick, but I think we’ve gotten to that point in the game where you’re willing to take on more risk because of the game situation. Down 12 with less than five minutes left, you have to go for it. Again though, the big problem here is if you look at the prior downs. 1^st, 2^nd, and 3^rd downs were incompletions.

· 4^th and 10 from Tenn 48; 1:17 4^th Q: Same as before. Stats say kick, but who gives a fuck. You HAVE to go for this. The pick was not really Schaub’s fault as Vanden Bosch was given the red carpet treatment on his way to Schaub’s knee. But again, we had 2^nd and 3 from the 4 and ran at Haynesworth and VB. We then took a sack on third down to put ourselves in this spot.

To sum this all up, it doesn’t look like we made the bad decision to go for it on fourth down on these plays, but where we fucked up was in putting ourselves in too many fourth downs. This came from weak play calling and poor execution. So while some may say that one of our problems last week came from being too aggressive on fourth down, I would argue that we weren’t aggressive enough on first second and third downs and ended up in too many fourth down situations.

Let me leave you with this.

We were first and goal from inside the 10 three times, and first and 10 from the 11 once more. Three of those times we ended up with a fourth down situation. That’s why we lost the game.

We get emails

Sep 24, 2008 Gary Kubiak might be high, Guest Posts, I really dig my readers

Reader and occasional guest-poster Will “The Thrill” offers a couple interesting points.

Oh yeah, we got the funk, gotta have that funk…..

What the fuck? Over!

I’ve never been so glad to not only miss getting to watch my favorite team, but also forgetting to DVR it.  I was at the Fall Nationals in Dallas this weekend, so I was spared being pissed off by seeing how shitty the Texans played in addition to being pissed off at a small piece of trash that entered the fuel system of our race car, ending our day in the second round in what would have been a cake walk to the final.  Without further ado, here’s some outside looking in.

Remember when I mentioned one of the things that could bite us this year was the “funk” we got into last year in games like Atlanta, Tenn, SD, etc.? That’s the team that has showed up.  Kinda like the June 2008 Astros.  Or playoff Rockets.  For some reason, Houston sports teams are either all or nothing.  They might show up in Jax and kick the shit out of them.

All Houston-conspiracy, something-in-the-water theories aside, it’s starting to look like we have a coaching problem—or multiple coaching problems—because every single player, Steve Slaton aside, is showing their worst.  Oh yeah, Demeco and Mario too.  [Ed. note: Be fair...Mario was a singular monster in Pittsburgh.]

My faith in Kubiak is diminishing.  He’s one of the worst in the league on challenges.  I’m starting to get the feeling he’s just not head coach material.  Some guys can be a great coordinator, but not the fearless leader.

Could it be that Ray Rhoades is a detriment to our secondary?  Bennett looks like shit.  Demps looks like shit.  CC Brown looks like shit.  Reeves looks like shit.  See a trend here?  These guys didn’t look this bad last year.  They wasn’t great, but not this bad.

0-2 is the count to Schaub.  If Schaub opens the first half against Jacksonville like he has played the rest of the year, Rosie will be throwing more passes on the sideline.  Regardless of talent, upside, draft picks, etc., the one thing Sage always seems to have is poise and confidence under center.  We don’t have that with Schaub right now.  Hopefully something turns the light on for him, or I’m going to have to buy another jersey to wear to the games.

We got to have someone step up and make some plays.

“The Thrill”

Now, I am with Lee and a couple others in the “what has Sage done” camp, but I think the points about Kubiak and Rhodes are possibly valid.  Thoughts?

Oh…yeah…I suppose I should mention that I always reserve the right to run insightful emails as well as really really dumb shit.  So consider yourself notified and/or warned.

Wormser is a master of aerodynamics.

May 22, 2008 2008 Draft, 2008 Season, Alex Gibbs, Awesomeness, Awfulness, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Gary Kubiak might be high, Please let the season start soon, Roster, Training camp 2008

One of the odder things about me,¹ especially to people who have only known me for a relatively short time, is that I spent nearly two years working in a daycare. Even more strange, however, is that I still count that one as my favorite job I’ve ever had. During the school year, I would drive the (short) bus and take the school-age kids to their respective elementary schools, then spend the rest of the day in the three-year-old room, quietly crafting my unholy toddler army. But that is a story for a different day.

During the summer, however, I abandoned my post as three-year-old assistant teacher and was full-time in the school-age room. For the most part, I was responsible for driving us on field trips, delivering some kids to the community swimming program, and making sure no one got killed (which is harder than it sounds when you are the one wanting some of them to die). I also spent a great deal of time dominating nine-year-olds at basketball (on an 8-foot goal!) and wiffle ball. Those were the salad days.

Part of our summer program included something called Outdoor Teaching Activities, which we predictably shortened to OTAs. Ostensibly a way to teach the kids about science and nature, these were really nothing more than having them measure wind speed with bubbles or guess how many helium balloons it would take to lift object X five feet off the ground. Maybe they learned something, maybe they didn’t, but it got them outside and kept us (the teachers) sane. Plus, there is nothing more entertaining than watching a kid who throws like Lamar when he is on flat ground try to throw while standing on a balance beam. High comedy there.

ANYWAY, the point is that, to this day, when I hear “OTAs,” even in a Texans context, my mind does not go to 7-on-7 football and cone drills. Instead, I immediately picture Charles Spencer lighting leaves on fire with a magnifying glass and Zac Diles standing on top of a jungle gym with a bubble wand. I am nothing if not strange.

My own mental issues aside, however, OTAs continue in Texanland, entirely devoid of four-leaf clover searches and sidewalk chalk. And, as a blogger, I suppose I should get off my lazy ass² and mention them. First up, some choice quotes (and my less-than-choice reactions) from that font of wisdom and geyser of information, Gary Kubiak.

(on the possibility of a healthy QB Matt Schaub, RB Ahman Green and WR Andre Johnson) “Well, it means a great deal. Y’all saw how we played offensively when Ahman was available because he just brings a new dimension, and I think what we’re doing running the ball with Alex (Gibbs), I think Ahman’s really a nice fit with that and I think he’s gaining confidence in what we’re doing. The health of the football team’s important across the board, not just those three, but those three are pretty darn important.”

Not gonna lie to you, Gar…this isn’t exactly what I was hoping to hear. My hope was that you would say “Ahman? Ahman who? Oh, you mean that guy we are going to cut June 1? Yeah, F him.” In retrospect, I was probably hoping for too much, both from him last year and from you in this quote, but still.

Seriously, though, (1) I don’t see Green staying healthy and (2) I REALLY don’t see him thriving in the new system. His field vision is good enough, but methinks there are too many miles on those old legs to really get the explosive cuts that make the system effective.

Kubiak again:

(on the role of DE Anthony Weaver) “I think it could actually pick up for him because he’s healthy. He’s going through the offseason and he’s feeling as good as he’s ever felt. You always have to rotate D-linemen. I think maybe we’ll get a little more out of Anthony than last year just because we’re getting a good offseason out of him.”

Phew, that’s good. I was worried that we’d get less out him than last year. What’s that? There’s nothing less than zero? Oh…yeah…I suppose you are right.

Yes, yes, I know he was coming off a shoulder injury, so I will cut him a little slack. But when you are the highest paid player on the team, you only get so much slack. I really hope he does contribute like I thought he would when we signed him, because that would give us a monster D-line. I’m just not going to hold my breath here and I won’t be surprised one bit if BFD’s prediction of Chaun Thompson as a situational DE limits Weaver’s impact.

Other news and notes from the first three days of OTAs:

• **Unlike last year, the Texans website is no longer pluralizing OTA as OTA’s. This makes me exceedingly happy. And, because I wrote this last year, I am going to take credit for the change. Viva me!
• **DGDB&D whipping boy Petey Faggins is back and he’s mad! OK, not “mad,” really. More like, “hoping to still be on the team come opening day.” Says the seventh-year pro, “I just remembered all the good things that happened and got my confidence back up.” No offense, Pete, but I searched my memory long and hard for good things that happened to you and all I could come up with was you losing your starting job after the Chargers game.
• **I have a theory. If you face this everyday in practice, Kyle Vanden Bosch starts to look as intimidating as a midget driving a VW Beetle:

• **Finally, and as BFD mentioned, Andre Johnson is still on the shelf following minor knee surgery. It sounds crazy, but the health of that knee is likely the difference between 7-9 and 10-6. He is THAT important to the offense, as we saw over and over again last year. Here’s hoping he’s 100% come September.

¹ Which, if you know me, is really saying something.
² Figuratively, of course. Because who would type standing up?

On booze and losses

Oct 29, 2007 2007 Season, Beer, Boobies, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Disturbing (yet accurate) Metaphors, Gary Kubiak might be high, Inanity, Injury bug

I suppose it goes without saying that this is not exactly where I hoped we would be at the halfway point. But I am going to say it anyway.

I hoped that this season would be the equivalent of sipping Clos du Mesnil 1995 with a supermodel on board your private jet.

I expected that this season would be the equivalent of enjoying Chateau Mouton Rothschild Pauillac 1986 on the patio of your 12,000 square foot oceanside villa.

Right now, this season is the equivalent of sucking stale PBR out of the G-string of a male stripper in the bathroom of a truckstop in Shamrock, TX.

You could say it’s not quite living up to expectations.

Look, I realize that we have been ravaged–decimated even–by injuries. Not many teams could lose their biggest weapon, their starting running back, both of their kick/punt returners, a starting safety and the safety’s first replacement, and their starting center and expect to contend for anything. Well, unless they were in the NFC, but that’s a different story.

The injuries are still no excuse for the play we’ve seen since kickoff of the Atlanta game. Poor (at best) defensive play-calling, mediocre clock-management, questionable roster decisions, the continued employment of Petey Faggins…any one of these would be troublesome. Having all of them? Well, that explains the current record.

I am currently trying to answer the question of “where do we go from here?” At our current level of play, the answer is 3-13. A more realistic number, barring some major changes, is probably 6-10. A best-case scenario would be 8-8.

I am going to split the baby and peg us at no more than 7 wins. Which would be the equivalent of drinking Chimay Bleue poolside with a couple of hot redheads who are milking you for free drinks and will absolutely not sleep with you.

Sad part is, with the taste of warm PBR still in your throat, that overpriced cocktease seems like a win.

The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.

Oct 19, 2007 2006 Draft, 2007 Season, Andre Johnson, Gary Kubiak might be high, Injury bug, Vinsanity

Stephanie offers up a great column on the likelihood of Vince Young playing in Sunday’s game. I am a sucker for solid medical research and logical arguments–two things certain writers don’t even come close to offering–and I think Steph is on to something here.

Given Young’s annoyance in talking about his injury, I am guessing it is not likely he is going to play because he sounds like a guy who is grumpy about not playing. Don’t take my word for it, this doctor guy says that re-injury to the quad is a real possibility. Also the less time the injury has to heal, the more likely that re-injury could occur, or perhaps a worse injury. Even a basic look-see on the internet has tons of stories of these sorts of quad injuries gone bad. Like this one:

Resting may be the common sense approach, but it is one that is often ignored by competitive athletes. This is unwise, since it does not take much to turn a grade one Thigh strain into a grade two, or a grade two Thigh strain into a grade three.

Why? Because athletes feel like they can function with this sort of quad strain unless they try to do something like kicking or sprinting. I’m guessing a double-threat quarterback with a chronically bad wheel would not be something that Fisher would want to cause by starting Young. A grade three thigh strain is one that requires surgery.

If he does play and, as Steph suggests, manages to further injure the quad, we in attendance might actually get to bear witness to a Madden Curse injury firsthand. That would be kinda cool.

On the other hand, I’ve said before and I’ll say again that I don’t care one iota whether Vince plays. I don’t buy into the “hope he plays so we see if we can beat him” spiel. If we were 6-0, maybe I would be pulling for him to play; at 3-3, the only thing that matters is the scoreboard. So, if he plays and I get to see him get hurt alongside a win, it’s all good. If he doesn’t play and we win, it’s still all good. If we lose, the name on the back of the Titans QB’s jersey should be meaningless to any sane Texans fan.

When you look at it that way, something else becomes painfully obvious. Namely, that this is the most important game in the franchise’s history. For the sake of clarification, let’s remember that the Colts game from earlier this season was our biggest (though not most important) game to date and that the inaugural game victory over the ladies from up north remains our biggest (and possibly most important) win. Prior to this Sunday, our most important game was (arguably) the week 17 game against Cleveland in 2004. Glad we cleared that up. Moving on.

Anyway, October 21 is the most important game we’ve ever had for a number of reasons, the overwhelming majority of which have nothing to do with the 2006 draft. First, there is the simple fact that, despite starting 2-0 for the first time ever and having our first winning record after five games ever, we are currently on the doorstep of falling below .500 on the year. Now, following that 2-0 start, people started actually believing in the idea of our first winning record. While it’s certainly true that people might have been expecting too much, too soon (like the people who were suddenly talking about 10 or 11 wins), some of those expectations were justified. After all, this is Texans v.2.0. The old Texans were the ones who went on 1-4 slides; the new bunch are supposed to be better than that. Right?

Second, but somewhat related to the first, is the finality of a loss this week. Fact of the matter is, lose and we can completely forget about the playoffs. We’ll be dead last in the best division in football, 1.5 games behind third place, and without a single divisional win. Were the playoffs ever a realistic goal for this season? That part is debatable. What is not debatable, though, is that at least the idea of the playoffs was something that fans could suddenly buy into. Losing that possibility this early in the year was not supposed to be part of the new Texans reality.

Third, a loss on anything other than a last second miracle or a fluke play is going to cause people–myself included–to question Gary Kubiak’s coaching. The first two weeks of the season, when our defense looked stifling and our offense was running roughshod over the Chiefs and Panthers, Kubiak looked like a genius. Hell, even in week 3, when we managed to keep the game against the Colts close all the way to the end, despite the lack of Andre Johnson, Kubiak looked like he was more or less in control. Since then? Yikes. We have had absolutely no red zone offense, yet Owen Daniels doesn’t have a TD catch because all of our red zone plays seem to be ill-advised fades and/or runs right into the back of our o-line. Speaking of, we’ve had nothing that would resemble an NFL running game. Some of that can be chalked up to injury, but a bigger chunk can be placed on the steadfast reliance upon Sam Gado and Jameel Cook. Oh, and while we are on the subject of injuries, the fact that Andre Johnson is still not back in the starting lineup is at least partly Kubiak’s fault for not taking him out.

In short, one could argue, Kubiak has been flat out-coached for the past three games, as evinced by his shoddy clock management, his inattention to details like being cheated out of 14 seconds, his horribly predictable play-calling (raise your hand if you’ve more or less known what we were going to do inside the 20 every single time), and even his complete surprise and the surprise of his team at the idea that an opponent might kick onside in the second quarter. Up to this point, though, the complaints about all of these things have been nothing more than whispers from the media and from blogodelphia. A loss on Sunday stemming from running right into their strengths and not scoring in the red zone will make those whispers much, much louder.

Finally, and despite my assertion that the only thing that matters is winning, this game has importance to many people because of Vince Young. To that not-small-in-size group of fans and detractors alike, beating Vince (and beating him handily) is the only thing that will ever exorcise those demons. Losing to him for a third straight time, on the other hand, will make the backlash from his OT run last year look like a spirited bridge club conversation.

Clearly, Vince alone does not make this the most important game in team history? But Vince’s presence–if he plays–definitely adds to the emotional pain that would accompany a loss. If this were any other team coming into Reliant, those first three points above would still be valid and it would still be arguably the most important game in team history. When you throw Young on top of that, though, the longterm mental well-being of a majority of the fanbase makes winning that much more important.

Say it ain’t so, Tim. Say it ain’t so.

Oct 13, 2007 2007 Season, Andre Johnson, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Gary Kubiak might be high, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Schaub Experiment

Great. Fantastic. Yeah, this is precisely what I needed.

I take a break from painting the nursery (light yellow, if you must know) and log on to the ol’ laptop to see the latest news about my beloved Texans. Of course, the first thing I see is this post by Tim¹ telling me that uber-stud Andre Johnson might not be back until week 11.

Now, I know I asked this a couple days ago, but I’m going to ask again: Why in the world was Andre Johnson still playing when we had a 17 point lead with less than 12 minutes to go? Steph suggested that it was because Andre is so happy to be playing with a real NFL QB that there’s no way he would have quietly taken a seat when he thought he could be out there catching more TDs. Probably true. But that’s not his fault–every big time receiver wants to play and wants the ball. It’s on the head coach to make decisions like “hey, you, the large African-American fellow, sit down now.” I love the Kubes, but he airballed on this one and Andre’s injury is on Gary.

The one good thing that has come out of this injury, to the extent there was one, is that we’ve gotten a chance to see just how good Matt Schaub can really be. Playing without his number one target, without his only true running back (and, therefore, without any semblance of a running game), and without his game-breaking rookie WR for most of the past three games, Schaub has kept us in against Indianapolis, tried to lead a comeback in the Petty Faggins debacle that was Atlanta, and beat Miami. Sure, Matt had some assistance from a resurrected Andre Davis, a very good defensive front seven, and Travis Johnson’s knee, but I am officially ready to say that we didn’t overpay for The Schaub.²

Back to Andre The First, though. If he isn’t back until the 11th week, he’ll miss @Jacksonville, Tennessee, @San Diego, and @Oakland. Strangely, if you are going to be without your best WR, this seems like a decent stretch to do it. Jacksonville is going to be tough, but this game would be tough even with Andre, given how well Jackonville’s D is playing at the moment. Tennessee had our number last year, but I think we can all agree that a win against Tennessee will have much less to do with our passing game and almost everything to do with how we stop (or don’t stop) VY. The San Diego game seemed like a sure loss when the schedule came out, but they look imminently beatable as of now–especially by a Texans team with a stout run defense–thanks to the Norv Turner Experience. Finally, Oakland might be much better than anyone thought they’d be, but it’s not like they are invincible by any stretch of the imagination. That’s four games that are winnable without Andre Johnson. So, sitting at 3-2 right now, if we come out of this stretch with a record of at least 5-4, we will be sitting well going into the final seven games with a healthy Andre.

And, yes, it’s possible that the entire previous paragraph was just my way of trying to convince myself that Kubiak didn’t screw us by failing to sit Andre.

¹ I suppose “by Tim” is redundant when talking about BRB. It’s not like Scott is still around.
² Though I would not protest if he decided to have fewer fumbles.

Spin City

Oct 4, 2007 2007 Season, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Gary Kubiak might be high

I’m sitting here, hungover as hell, hoping to find something that will take my mind of the fact that I need to barf, when I got word that Gary Kubiak had basically told me to fist myself. No, he didn’t say it directly, but what else can I make of this quote:

“Petey’s our starter,” Kubiak said. “I believe in him. He’ll be there starting this weekend. He’s going to play good; I believe in the kid. He’s had a few misfortunate plays, which happens in football if you’re a corner. That’s part of the business. You’ve got to have a short memory.”

The head coach hopes Faggins can forget his Atlanta performance and regain the confidence he needs to go against Dolphins wideouts Marty Booker and Chris Chambers.

“If he gets the ball coming his way, his confidence goes way back up and he starts playing well,” Kubiak said. “We believe in him, and I’m expecting him to play well.”

Look, we’ve been over this a hundred times, so I’m not even going to rehash the “why he shouldn’t be playing” stuff.

What bothers me, though, is the lack of logic (and notable absence of facts) in this decision. Kubes says Petey’s “going to play good” because Gary “believe[s] in the kid.” Well, you probably believed in him in week 2. And week 3. And week 4 (before you yanked him off the field). He didn’t play “good” in any of those. So why in God’s name would you suddenly expect that he will?

Kubiak says Faggins has “had a few misfortunate plays.” That’s one way to put it. Another way would be to say that he’s had “QUITE a few misfortunate plays.” And yet another way would be to say that he has “managed a couple of plays that you wouldn’t call ‘misfortunate.’”

Finally, Coach K says that, “[if Petey] gets the ball coming his way, his confidence goes way back up and he starts playing well.” Wha? The ball has been coming his way NON-STOP this season. Opposing teams WANT the ball to go his way. I have no idea how you can imply that a lack of chances is why Petey has played like a retarded midget out there.

Gah. You are not helping my headache, Gary. Not one bit.

Time keeps on slippin’ slippin’ slippin’ into the future

Oct 2, 2007 2007 Season, Anger, Gary Kubiak might be high, Houston Chronicle

The whole clock discrepancy issue from the fourth quarter of Sunday’s game really irks me, only because I feel like that is an incredibly simple thing that should be monitored not only by the teams but by the referee (or the booth) as well. The ref has that buzzer that they use when the booth is going to review a play, so why couldn’t he be buzzed before the Texans ran the next play? Why couldn’t Kubiak throw the red flag on the field before the snap, just so he got the ref’s attention. I mean, if this article is to be believed, Kubiak knew the time was gone, he just didn’t make sure they put it back.

“I talked to the official next to me, I said, ‘Y’all know y’all ran the clock during that play,’ ” Kubiak said. “He was aware of it. He said, ‘I’m going to go tell them,’ and so I assumed it was getting corrected. But after we came to the line of scrimmage with our next play, they did not fix the clock. After you run a play, there’s nothing you can do.

“So we just felt like there should’ve been those eight or nine seconds — however many ran off that should’ve still been on the clock — and we’ll turn it into the league, and they’ll make their assessment of the situation. But there’s nothing you can do once you run a play.”

“Eight or nine?” Fourteen, Gary. 2:30 to 2:16 is 14 seconds. Even if you didn’t know the exact number while you were on the field, the fact that you “reviewed the situation Monday” should have informed you.

Then again, even the article doesn’t get the number right.

The officials ruled a no play because Atlanta called a timeout prior to the snap. But the clock had been running and about 10 seconds had elapsed.

I realize that I am being somewhat anal about this and that “about 10″ could include the number “14″ under a generous interpretation (though “over 10″ would have at least been more informative) and even that it’s really not germane to a discussion about Kubiak’s knowledge whether Megan Manfull gets the number right. Still, when poor clock management has been a staple of the last two games (at least), hearing the coach say he “knew” the clock was wrong and that he just assumed the refs would fix it is not exactly heartening. When he goes on to show that he still has no idea how much time they actually lost, you sort of have to doubt either his claim to have reviewed the tape (perhaps leaving some subordinate to review it and contact the league) or his attention to detail. Neither of those scenarios lends itself to believing that the clock management issue is any closer to being resolved.

26-16

Oct 1, 2007 2007 Season, Athletes who don't stab people, Batman, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Gary Kubiak might be high, Ron Dayne likes pie, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Schaub Experiment

First off, let’s be clear: The injuries are not an excuse.

Would it have been nice to have Andre Johnson and Ahman Green and the rest? Of course. But this game was not lost because we didn’t have the primary weapons. It was not lost because ND Kalu couldn’t play. It was not even lost because our special teams were without Jerome Mathis and Jacoby Jones. Nope, this game was lost because of:

• Petey Faggins,
• Piss-poor clock management,
• Below average play-calling,
• Some questionable decisions by Matt Schaub, and
• Surprisingly effective play by Joey Harrington.

Let’s take these one at a time.

Petey Faggins. When he was abused by Steve Smith for two TDs in roughly 9 seconds, the excuse was “well, LOTS of people get burned by Smith.” When he allowed nearly every pass thrown his way to be completed by playing 30 yards off the line of scrimmage and allowed Joseph Addai to score two TDs by running right at him, the excuse was “the coaches put him off the line like that and, hey, at least Marvin didn’t score.” What, pray tell, are the excuses going to be this week?

Just for grins, let’s recap. On one play, he managed to hold the wide receiver, impeding said receiver’s progress (in theory), only to still find himself burned on the play. Now, the prudent thing to do at this point would be to try and recover (which he lacks the speed to do), try to play the ball and maybe knock it down (which he lacks the wherewithal to do), and/or try to be in position to deliver a hit as the ball is caught in the hopes of knocking it loose (which he has rarely been able to do). The thing you shouldn’t do–especially when you’ve been beaten for three straight weeks–is get a pass interference penalty while still not even preventing the catch. Because, if you do that, the opposing team will likely realize that you really are as bad as you seemed on tape and will continue to attack you until the even the TV guys are saying “wow, they are running pretty much every play to that side.” This would likely lead to you getting flagged for another hold and another PI before it is all said and done.

I am not surprised by Petey’s struggles; I have been railing against him since the inception of this blog. I am surprised at the extent of his ineptitude, however. I can honestly say that, right now, he’s the worst defensive starter in the NFL. Because of that, and until I am shown otherwise, I am going to continue to refuse to believe the company line that he is still our best option.

Clock management. Let me ask you something. How is it that the hundred-people on the Texans sideline collectively failed to notice that they had been screwed out of 14 seconds? Wouldn’t you assume that someone–say, maybe, the HEAD COACH of the team trying to score ten points in the last 3 minutes–would look to see that, because the play did not count, the 14 elapsed seconds would be put back on the board? Of course, not noticing was in keeping with how Gary Kubiak has managed the clock for much of this season. I believe in The Kubes, I really do, but a simple grasp on how to best conserve (or expend, depending on the score) time is pretty freakin’ important. Between the confusion last week just before halftime and this week’s willy-nilly use of time and timeouts, Kubiak continues to shoot himself in the foot. After the way the time had been handled throughout the game, seeing Jameel Cook (or was it Vonta Leach?) run toward the middle of the field with 8 seconds left and no timeouts just seemed like the icing on the mismanagement cake.

Poor play calling. A naked halfback toss to Ron Dayne at the one-yard line? Seriously? This isn’t Tecmo Bowl, man. That play would be near impossible for Dayne to manage from midfield, when the defense is spread out; there is no chance in hell he’s going to score on that play from the six, with the defense packed in tight. Besides, and here’s the bigger issue, after seeing us pound the ball up the middle with a modicum of success during the game, why the heck didn’t we try to punch it in from the one with either Dayne (who is supposed to be our between-the-tackles power RB), Gado, or even one of the fullbacks? Twice, while trying to mount the comeback, we had the ball at Atlanta’s one-yard line. We came away with three points TOTAL out of those two trips. Unacceptable.

This isn’t the first instance of odd play-calling, either. There was the curious decision last week not to kick the onside kick. There have been several random “run when we probably should have passed” or vice versa moments. I know that injuries have played into that to an extent, but still.

Questionable decisions by The Schaub. Far be it from me to cast stones at the Altar of Schaub, because God knows I wouldn’t want to revert to the old QB, and the positives certainly outweigh the negatives with Matt, but someone might want to sit him down and explain some things to him. First of all, throwing a two-yard pass to a crossing fullback on thirdfourth-and-three is never, ever a good idea unless the defense is made up of blind people and retards. Second, in the hurry-up offense, again you might want to avoid dump passes to people like Jameel Cook. (In fact, speaking of Cook, I think it’s fair to say that something went wrong in your game planning if Cook ends a game with 6 catches, especially for a whopping 28 yards.) Third, that “running to the right, throwing back against the grain into the middle of the field” thing? Yeah, rarely a good idea. And, by “rarely,” I mean “never.” Finally, the next time you think about throwing the ball to Ron Dayne, do me a favor and throw it directly into the ground to end the suspense.

Harrington. I was going to cite “inability for the defense to stop anything” as the reason, but that would take away from how well Harrington actually played. Still, when you saw how easily we were able to get to him and disrupt their offense near the end when we started blitzing, one has to wonder why we didn’t mix that in a little more. Sure, Amobi got his fourth sack and, yes, Mario was getting pressure, but for the most part, Harrington just avoided whichever defensive lineman worked his way free and threw to the open man being guarded by Faggins. I am generally not a huge fan of blitzing, but mixing a couple in just to get some shots in on Joe and force him to make quick throws would have gone a LONG way toward keeping Atlanta points off the board. But, because we didn’t, my hat is off to Joey for playing an efficient and intelligent game.

****

Not everything was bad, however. After a game like that, it can be hard to admit that there were in fact a few bright spots. First, the offensive line continues to play far better than anyone thought they would. Schaub was sacked once, raising the season total to 6 (1.5 per game). The old QB was sacked three times in his first start at Carolina.

Second, DeMeco Ryans. Six more tackles and a sack. He and Morlon Greenwood (11 tackles) quietly had a great game in the middle of the field.

Lastly, Apostrophe Davis. The man came into the game with a recently-dislocated finger, made a leaping one-handed circus catch for a TD, and finished the game with 5 catches for 117 yards. Considering he wasn’t even on the active roster a couple weeks ago, this performance was outstanding.

Bucky Brooks talks out of his ass

Jul 5, 2007 2007 Draft, Amobi Okoye is 20, Big dudes doing the little things, Gary Kubiak might be high, Jason Babin, National Media, Preview, Super Mario, The Schaub Experiment

Other than Peter King, I rarely find a reason to read anything at SI.com. Andrew Perloff is insufferable, Dr. Z might actually be retarded¹, and Michael Silver has never written anything that kept my attention beyond the first paragraph.

Occasionally, however, Bucky Brooks writes something that I not only read, but that I feel the need to comment on. Obviously, if I am writing this, today was one of those days. In his AFC South preview, Brooks lists the key challenges for each team in the conference. Thankfully, not one of his challenges is about the offensive line, as B^2 posits the following:

Challenge No. 1: Make Matt Schaub comfortable in a new offense.

Challenge No. 2: Find another threat in the passing game.

Challenge No. 3: Get better play out of the defensive line.

Now, 1 and 2, I can’t argue with. We’ve talked about both of those ad naseum for the last two months. Schaubby definitely needs to be “comfortable” in the offense, assuming that “comfortable” means “good,” and the WR2 slot needs to be filled by someone who doesn’t play like he is missing one leg and three chromosomes. No surprise.

As for 3, well, I suppose I agree with the sentiment. After all, with the number of first round picks we run out there in the front four, you’d expect for that to be the best third of our defense. The part that stuck out to me, however, was this:

But now with Mario Williams, Travis Johnson and ‘07 draftee Amobi Okoye slated to start, the onus is on this crew to produce some pressure on opposing signal-callers. [...] Johnson’s ineffectiveness as a rusher allowed teams to double Williams without fear. If Johnson can recover from his season-ending calf injury and provide a push inside, Williams should begin to see less of the double teams that he faced last season.

Um… huh? First of all, am I the only person who hadn’t heard that TJ was going to start? I’ve lived the last six or seven months assuming that Anthony Maddox was going to be the starting two-gapper, since, you know, he was MUCH better than TJ last year, in pretty much every way (tackles, sacks, ff, fr, etc.). Besides, Kubiak has pretty much been singing Maddox’s praises since minicamp. So, why, dear Bucky, is Johnson “slated to start?”

In the end–unless I completely missed the memo–this is probably some writer just looking at the current depth chart at NFL.com and basing opinions thereon. Whatever. The bigger question is here is “what if Bucky is right?”

The single most important thing for Manchild is that he isn’t continually double-teamed (like Mario was last year). Teams are going to focus on him early, if for no other reason than the hype that accompanied his selection. Part of the reason that Weaver has already been penciled in at LDE is because he’s a better rusher (supposedly) than Jason Babin. Maddox showed last year that, of the two real options, he is the better two-gapper. You combine Weaver on the outside with Maddox on Manchild’s right (along with a healthy Mario), and Amobi should see nothing more than a single guard (with the occasional clip from the center) all season. This is important–Okoye is at his best when he gets penetration straight up field and can read-and-react to the QB and RB. He is faster in the pass rush than any of our other defensive linemen. If he is forced to fight through double-teams all season, not only will he be hampered, but the entire line will be worse by orders of magnitude. I can’t say this strongly enough–Johnson getting single blockers while Amobi gets doubles make the entire defense worse; Maddox taking on two, even if he never makes a single tackle, frees Okoye and makes the entire defense better. I’m no coach, but I am pretty sure that a better defense is better than a worse defense.

So Bucky, don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope you are just as full of shit as the rest of the national media. Thankfully, if your colleagues are any indication, you are.

UPDATE: The Texans’ own website ran an article yesterday about how Anthony Maddox is the starter and anyone who wants to play that position is going to have to beat him. That’s pretty much what we’ve been hearing and planning for since December, and it looks like Kubes is using some common sense.

It’s not overly surprising that a columnist would just glance at the Texans depth chart on NFL.com and use that to form his “opinion.” I’m sure that sort of thing happens all the time. What is surprising, though, is that he would devote paragraphs to supporting something that was wrong to begin with, while simultaneously failing to mention the secondary as a “challenge” this season. Poor showing, Buckwheat. I now lump you in with the rest of the ‘tards.

¹ Seriously, I cannot stand that guy. How many self-referential mailbags where he talks about wine and his wife being redheaded do we have to endure before he is euthanized?

Petey Faggins inspires much electronic correspondence

Jun 5, 2007 Demarcus Faggins sucks, Dunta Robinson, Gary Kubiak might be high, KC Joyner, Secondary issues are primary, Vacation-related posts

109°. That’s the high today. While it is technically a “dry heat,” a lack of humidity can only do so much to make the temperature bearable. Still, I was in the pool by 7AM, so this place really beats going to work.

Vacationing from work, however, does not seem to equal vacationing from the Petey Faggins Affair. Some responsibilities are shirk-proof.

Uber-fan Steph emailed me last night with the following:

Because you can’t get enough Petey Faggins news.

Just trying to torment you a little:

http://www.houstontexans.com/news/Story.asp?story_id=3377

Great. The part of the article about Petey says P-Fag¹ is the “frontrunner to play opposite of Dunta Robinson.” Now, I suppose that “frontrunner” is not the same as “guaranteed starter,” but it sure seems close in coach-speak.

If Faggins were good enough to be a starting CB2 in the NFL, such a proclamation would be ok. Unfortunately, Petey is not and, so, the statement is not.

Now, every single time I deride Demarcus, I get an email or a comment or whatever sticking up for him. Usually, buried in the defense is something to the effect of “but… he has so much HEART” or “he was injured last year.” Both of these things are true. You know what else is true? THEY DON’T MATTER. Faggins is not talented enough to play CB2.

Round and round we go. I keep saying the same thing; people keep replying the same way. So, I decided there was need to bring in some outside help. Because Friend of DGDB&D KC Joyner is the only national writer who will reply to me with any sort of substance, I went to the well one more time.

I asked KC just for his general thoughts on Petey. His response:

I don’t have Faggins YPA right in front of me but I know he has been mediocre the past couple of years. I had him at one point as one of the better nickel CBs in the league, and he still might be qualified for that, but I don’t think he can handle a starting role.

Two things are interesting here: First, KC agrees with me. Boo yah. Second, though, is the comment that Faggins is “one of the better nickel CBs.” Isn’t this what we have been hearing about him for a while–that he would be much better suited in this role? Answer: Yes, it is. See, e.g., this post from Battle Red Blog, where Tim states, “It’s clearly Petey Faggins’ gig to lose, but we hear and read all too often that Faggins would be best utilized as a nickel back.”

Now, I am one of the first people to point out that just because something is said over and over does not necessarily mean it is true. Hell, I’ve made roughly 2342719286 posts about the offensive line based on that premise. Still, in the case of the offensive line, there is/was statistical proof backing up my assertions. Here, in the case of Petey, the only argument in his favor is that he was gimpy last season. Problem is, the claims that he would be better at nickelback were made well before the foot injury. Additional problem is, all of the measurables seem to point to the conclusion that he will never be an NFL-quality CB2.

All that being said, why in the world is the coaching staff so reticent to put Faggins in a position where he could actually be “one of the better” players in the NFL? What would it hurt to give Bennett or Fletcher or Horton or Hutchins or Joe The Peanut Vendor a real shot at CB2 to see if one of them could actually do it better? I can’t come up with a rational answer for any of these questions. And, to be honest, thinking about irrational answers for them is giving me a headache and making me irritated, which is not what I need on my vacation. So, for now at least, I will leave the issue alone.

I guarantee this isn’t the last of it, though, either on my part or on that of the Texans.

¹ This is probably not the best nickname.

Sam Adams listens to Timex Social Club

May 29, 2007 Amobi Okoye is 19, Andre Johnson, Athletes who don't stab people, DeMeco Ryans, Gary Kubiak might be high, Sam Adams, Teams that aren't the Texans

Two stories regarding the Texans are bouncing around the internets today, which I suppose makes today a busy news day, at least compared to the past four.

The first story is that Sam Adams is supposed to visit with the team, possibly as early as right now. Now, granted, Adams is entering his 14th season and is not the same player he was when he won a Super Bowl with Baltimore. That said, I still think this move makes sense. I mean, obviously you get veteran leadership for a very young defensive front seven. What you also get, though, is a two-gap DT (playing the 0 or 1 technique) who could (a) stuff the run, (b) free Manchild to play more of a 1-gap 3 technique DT, and (c) keep offensive lineman off of DeMeco the same way he did for Ray Lewis.

Would he give you 30 snaps per game? Of course not. He would give you 20 or so, though, which is enough to make an impact on run defense. He could be spelled by Maddox (or Weaver on clear passing downs), while still providing fantastic mentoring for Okoye, et al. Most importantly, however, is that even at this age, he is a clear upgrade in our run defense.

The biggest criticism people seem to be voicing over this news is that the Texans already have too many DTs as it is. While this might be true now, it is highly unlikely that the team is unwilling to cut one or more of those guys during camp. Travis Johnson and Thomas Johnson should probably be a little concerned.

The second story/rumor is that Kevin Walter has pretty much locked up the WR2 position. Without rehashing all of the stuff I’ve written about this position, I’ll just say that I am less-than-thrilled with Walter. I hope he proves me wrong, I really do, but I just don’t think he is our best choice to play second fiddle. Still, this news isn’t surprising (as Kubiak seems to have a mancrush on Walter). Really, I just mentioned it to throw this theory out there: The Jacksonville fans over at Big Cat Country seem to think that Ernest Wilford will not be a Jag at the end of camp. If their suspicions turn out correct, I just want to be the first to cast my vote for signing Wilford. He’s a big, physical receiver who would be a perfect compliment to Andre Johnson’s skills and would let Walter or JJ play the slot (where I think they would both be better, at least in the short term). He would also likely relish the idea of playing against his old team twice per season.

Cam Cameron is a savior

May 6, 2007 2007 Draft, Amobi Okoye is 19, Bad Idea Jeans, Gary Kubiak might be high, Ohio State makes baby Jesus cry, Teams that aren't the Texans

From Len Pasquarelli’s latest tip sheet (Insider only):

One slot can mean a significant financial difference in the first round. And from a perception standpoint, it apparently can mean a lot, too. The Miami Dolphins, and in particular first-year coach Cam Cameron, caught incredible grief from their fans and the media when they chose Ohio State wide receiver Ted Ginn Jr. with the ninth overall pick in the draft. Miami fans, of course, wanted the team to stop the free fall of Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn at that point. But had the Dolphins not taken Ginn, who is still recovering from the mid-foot sprain he suffered in the Fiesta Bowl after being mobbed by teammates when he returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown, Houston would have grabbed him with the No. 10 slot. And the guess is that long-suffering Texans fans, tired of seeing the team field a bunch of stiffs at the wide receiver spot opposite Pro Bowl pass catcher Andre Johnson, would have had a much kinder reaction.

Ginn was the guy the Texans wanted, and one look at the wide receiver depth chart after Johnson shows why. As was the case for the departed David Carr, there aren’t a lot of inviting targets for new starting quarterback Matt Schaub. Arguably the most surprising choice in the top 10 of the 2006 draft was another former Ohio State player: safety Donte Whitner, who was chosen by Buffalo with the eighth overall pick and had a marvelous rookie year for the Bills. The Dolphins can only hope their Buckeyes’ surprise in the top 10 this year turns out as well.

I am trying to figure out on just how many levels I would have been pissed had this happened. First, there’s the fact that they would have been passing on Manchild. Second, they would have been passing on him to take the modern incarnation of Jermaine Lewis. Third, they would have been drafting one of the players I absolutely despise. (Again, I realize that my hatred for all things OSU can be irrational at best some times. I do not apologize for this.) So, yeah… three levels. At least.

The irony here is that, while I was giving Kubiak mad props (as the kids say) for drafting Okoye, he really only did it because Ginn (who, I think we can all agree, would not have been a good pick in any sense of the word) was off the board. (I picture Kubiak looking at his assistants the first day of minicamp, saying, “Normally I wear protection, but then I thought, ‘When am I gonna make it back to Haiti?’”) Adding to this stupidity, drafting Ginn would have eliminated the need for Jacoby Jones, who is bigger and actually, you know, plays wide receiver in addition to being fast. So, thank you, Cam Cameron. By taking a player who completely pissed off your fan base, you managed to improve Houston’s first AND third round picks. Nicely done. Your fruit basket is in the mail.