From his lips to Durga’s ears
Oct 31, 2008 Drunky Drunkerton, Duane Brown as Eliza Doolittle, Gary Kubiak, Inanity
With a nod to Tim, I present practice quotes from Friday. As is custom, some of these might not be 100% accurate.
(RB) Ahman (Green) did practice today. I have to go back and evaluate how he practiced. Most of his work was with the scout team, so we could simulate what it would be like to play Minnesota if Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor die before the game.
(on how much the team needs RB Ahman Green) Well, we need everybody except Petey.
Now, we have to go do it against a very good football team in their home stadium. So, we just have to play solid football and get ourselves in position to make that play to win a game and then make sure Sage Rosenfels is nowhere near the field.
(on anything else health-wise) No, we’re OK. 34 is ready to go. There will probably be a game-time decision on how many guys we suit up. Other than that we’re OK. Kevin is back to full speed, so Ahman should be the only question going into Sunday morning. But, fuck, we’re used to that by now.
Normally you’re sitting there as a coach grading 65 snaps and for Duane, 45 of those have been graded very good and 20 of them have been graded not good enough. So long as none grade as Jordan Black, I’m not that concerned.
[Duane] gets the chance now to go into a place that will be about as difficult to play, noise-wise and as great a player as he’s had this year (Vikings DE Jared Allen). To get him ready, we had Mario get drunk as fuck before practice.
Big Picture
Oct 14, 2008 2008 Season, Curious Coaching, Fire Richard Smith, Gary Kubiak, Ranting
After Sunday’s win, there will be people, especially in the fair-weather media, saying that the Texans have finally turned a corner and that they’ve become better overall because they were able to go in there and put together a big game-winning drive. Someone will point to how this was a telling rebound from last week’s crushing defeat and how that resilience is proof that the Texans are developing. And I suppose there is some nugget of truth to the idea that your older brother’s Texans would not have won that game, but, Christ, you are talking about a team that was piloted by David Carr. It’s not exactly earth-shattering news to say that today’s Texans, with the best DE in football, one of the five best WRs and MLBs, and a better RB than they’ve ever had are better than any pre-2006 squad.
No, the question should not be whether the Texans are better today than they were in 2005. The question should be whether the path they are on right now will make them appreciably better in 2010 than they are in 2008? If today is the first day of the rest of their collective football life, where does that life wind up?
To be sure, there are a number of positives on this team, many of which were evident yesterday. Mario Williams in an absolute beast. He gets held on every single play, sometimes by both blockers, yet he never complains and he still gets to the QB with regularity. Andre Johnson, unfortunate fumble notwithstanding, is a fantastic wide receiver with a combination of size, skill, and speed that you rarely see. DeMeco Ryans is everything you could ask for in a MLB. Along with Johnson, the Texans’ receiving corps as a whole is one of the better ones in football, with every person unselfishly playing his role very well. The offensive line, while still not perfect, is doing a very good job of keeping Matt Schaub clean and creating running room for Steve Slaton and will only get better as the system takes hold and Duane Brown develops. Heck, even Vonta Leach is playing the role of blocker for Steve Slaton at a very high level, finishing his blocks through the second level.
Combine these positives with the 8-8 finish of 2007 and it would be very, very easy to believe that we are on the right path. Seeing a comeback win last yesterday’s only serves to strengthen that perception.
But, as with anything, if the perception itself is flawed, the strengthening of it is all in your head.
Which (finally) brings me to my point: If I may be a little grey cloud of gloom right now, I am going to say right now that I don’t think we are on the right path, or, perhaps more accurately, I don’t think we are on a path that will culminate in sustained success and–gasp!–being a Super Bowl contender. I think there are some serious organizational and personnel problems that, until they are resolved, are going to keep submarining the team’s efforts, leaving fans saying “man…we’re this close” over and over.
Some of those problems are readily apparent. Richard Smith is not qualified to call defenses in Pop Warner, let alone in the NFL. He has no defined defensive philosophy that I can see, he seems confused on how to use his assets (Mario, DeMeco, Bennett, Okoye) and how to hide his liabilities (Faggins, Diles, Johnson). He refuses to put the best possible defense on the field at any one time and until recently he seemed to be ignoring the mounting evidence that Earl Cochran is the ONLY other consistent DE on the roster. His players—especially his favorites, like Petey Faggins—are piss-poor tacklers, take poor angles, give way too much cushion to receivers, seem easily fooled by even the slightest trickery, and (as evidenced most recently by Bennett) seem to regress right when you think they are ready to make The Leap.
Likewise, as discussed here recently, Joe Marciano’s squad, at least in this writer’s opinion, is poorly coached from the top down. They are lazy when it comes to lane integrity, they (like Smith’s charges) seem easily tricked, they allow the opponent to start seemingly EVERY drive past its own 25-yard line, and they botch simple things like FG snaps. Even worse, it seems like Andre Davis is always running half-speed, looking for a hole rather than just getting up field as quickly as he can on every kickoff.
While those are the obvious ones, I am beginning to think the problem goes even higher. Yes, I am talking about Gary Kubiak. I have reached a point where I wonder whether he can actually be a good NFL head coach. I wonder if he has “it,” whatever “it” is.
Here’s what I mean: Can you think of a single game in Gary Kubiak’s tenure where we won because he outcoached someone? Because I can’t. What I can think of are:
- Utter inability to properly use timeouts or manage the clock, especially when time is the most important. See, e.g., his unawareness of the lost time in last year’s Atlanta game or the random bits of time we let slide away on Sunday in the last drive.
- Complete cluelessness when it comes to challenges and a tendency to be scared to challenge later in a game if he was wrong (like he usually is) early in the game.
- Play calling that looks like it was scripted by someone who just learned the game of football. See, e.g., the passing offense scripted by Kubiak and Baby Shan against Tennessee this year.
- Tendency for the team to play down to the level of its competition. See, e.g., getting owned by a 2007 Falcons team that was so bad its own coach quit before the season ended or barely squeaking by a Dolphins team that won ONE GAME all year.
- Inability to put away games because the team seems to have no philosophy on how to grind clock, move the chains, and avoid turnovers. (This partly goes back to clock management.)
- Tendency of team to be unaware of situation and proper responses to it. See, e.g., Eugene Wilson’s INT on Sunday, where NO ONE, coach or player, was yelling for him to simply get the hell down and preserve the win. That is a coaching mistake because that is the type of thing that should be drilled into players, just as you saw the Colts do when they picked off Rosenfels’ last throw.
- Continued tendency of team to fumble the ball and and throw INTs. This is a coaching issue when it is endemic.
- Inability of team to be prepared for team-specific wrinkles. See, e.g., our confusion re: defending the WildCat, despite having two weeks of film on it.
- Refusal of Kubiak (or his staff, save Alex Gibbs) to yell at a player when he really screws up. Did you see a single coach really get in Eugene Wilson’s ear? I sure didn’t.
- Steadfast refusal to get rid of people like Richard Smith.
That’s an awful lot of flaws for a guy whose only current positive point is that the team likes him.
Now it’s totally possible that we will rattle off 11 straight wins, in which case Kubes will have proven me wrong. More likely, however, is that we stumble to 7-9 (i.e. go 6-5 down the stretch) and people talk about how “man, with a couple breaks earlier in the year, this team could easily have been 9-7.” Which sounds a helluva lot like what we heard at the end of last year. Then you have to start wondering how many this-close years are we going to have before we change coaches or, worse, miss the window on guys like Andre Johnson?
I fear the answer to that is higher than it should be, simply because Kubiak is such an upgrade over Dom Capers. But that ignores that Capers was at least hamstrung (to some extent) by a GM that ate paint chips as a child. Kubiak, on the other hand, is blessed with one of the best young GMs in the game. That difference has to count for something when you start evaluating just what Kubiak brings to the table.
Please don’t get me wrong here. I am beyond thrilled that we won Sunday. I agree with Tim that the win renews ones hope and faith as a fan in the team. My only concern is that we might currently be on a path where our faith and hope are CONSTANTLY tested because we lack the leadership to get to the next level. Last week’s game was a microcosm for the experience of being a Texans fan—it seemed like the team was doing everything it could to lose, yet you could see that they were WAY better talent-wise than they were playing, and even though they won it still kinda felt like a loss in some ways.
In the end, if it’s true the Kubiak isn’t HC material, that is no sin. There are plenty of guys who make good coordinators but poor head coaches. But while it’s not a sin, it IS the kind of thing we need to figure out and address. Quickly.
I CAN HAZ RUNNING BACK?
Jul 11, 2008 Fake Conversations with Real People, Gary Kubiak, Inanity, Rick Smith, Ron Dayne likes pie
Rick Smith: So, yeah, I figured out that if you order from Papa John’s online you can order one of the specialty pizzas — meat lovers, Hawaiian, whatever — but then add and remove toppings, so that you get whatever pizza you want at the special price.
Gary Kubiak: Wait…what?
Smith: Yeah, you can pick whatever pizza has the best deal but still get something else.
Kubiak: I honestly don’t– You mean I can say I want a barbeque chicken pizza, but still end up with black olive and mushroom?
Smith: Exactly! Wild, huh?! The missus and I had QUITE the laugh over that.
(secretary enters)
Rick Smith’s Secretary: Mr. Smith, a delivery man just brought this box of donuts for you.
Smith: Huh?
Secretary: Yeah, he said that it was to be delivered to you. It’s very sticky. May I set it down?
Smith: (clearing space on his desk) Of course. Thank you. (considers slapping her ass as she leaves, but doesn’t)
(opens box) Gary, look…someone FedExed me 12 donuts. (counts again) Wait, no, 11 donuts. Odd.
Kubiak: Are those sprinkles?
Smith: Yeah. No, hold on…they are letters. Someone stuck Alpha-Bits to the donuts! (takes one out) This one says “Ron haz itch to.” (pulls another from box) “Take Ron back.”
Kubiak: (picks up donut) “Dayne haz tal–.” I’m guessing that said “talent” before someone took a bite out of it.
Smith: This one just says “Ron” (pauses, looks closer) and the other glaze seems to have been licked off! (drops donut)
Kubiak: “Ahman wuss Brown haz gay.” What in the world?
Smith: “I eat ur kidz if Ron not play.”
Kubiak: This is freakin’ weird, man.
(Smith’s phone rings)
Smith: (answering phone) Hello?
Disguised voice: Did yu git muh meshizh?
Smith: Excuse me?
Voice: Muh meshizh!
Smith: Why does it sound like you have a mouth full of Funyuns?
Voice: (chews, swallows) DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE?!
Smith: Yes, Ron.
Voice: Good. I mean, this isn’t Ron! This is…um…a concerned fan.
Smith: Ron, your name came up on caller ID. I told you, we have no need for your services this year.
Voice: Oh.
…
Hmm.
…
Could you return those donuts, then?
OTAs Day 7
May 30, 2008 2008 Season, Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, Chaun, Gary Kubiak, I really dig my readers, Kevin Bentley, Morlon Greenwood, Posts that list too many players, Preseason 2008, President Lyndon Veins Johnson, Vince Young can't read this post, Xman
You must forgive me. All these years being a sports fan has made me more than a little calloused when it comes to quotes during camps. I mean, when was the last time you heard a player say something along the lines of:
“The team is a bunch of assholes. There’s no chemistry at all, and our team is fucked.”
Nope, doesn’t happen. What we do get is the usual:
“Oh, man, it’s been great. I’ve got great coaches. I’ve got great teammates…
Basically, the linebackers are just all a brotherhood. The whole team is a brotherhood but the linebackers especially, we’re real tight, real close, and if anybody needs help on anything, we’re always there to help each other out.”
Awwwww, isn’t that sweet? The quote is courtesy of Chaun Thompson, one of our off-season additions (quotes courtesy HoustonTexans.com).
But, wait a minute, is this a little nugget right here?
(on if LB Chaun Thompson will work with the defensive line) “Yeah, once we get going in camp, he’ll go down with (defensive line coach) Jethro (Franklin) and (senior defensive assistant) Frank (Bush) to work on some pass-rush skills and those types of things. He shows the ability to do that, but the thing we don’t want to do is hurt him at linebacker because he’s very competitive in our situation at linebacker right now and I don’t want to take away from that.” - Gary Kubiak, again from HoustonTexans.com
When you consider the depth we have at linebacker - DeMonster, Morlon Greenwood, and Zac Diles as starters with Xavier Adibi, Kevin Bentley, and one of several including UDFA signee Ben Moffitt (h/t 1Texan) as backups - we have some pretty damn good depth at linebacker. Even if Thompson sees time at LB, it could be in *gasp* blitz packages. There’s one important thing to remember about Thompson: he’s one extremely fast dude. Instead of trying to force his talents into a system like the Browns did, it looks like the hometown heroes signed him because he fits our system.
And, frankly, anything that keeps Anthony Weaver off the field until he proves he can collect a single sack is a good thing.
Finally, we all know I’m a University of Texas grad and still live in Austin, right? OK, well…
Vince Young a couple of days ago:
I really thought long and hard about it,” Young said on Thursday after practice. “There was so much going on with my family. It was crazy being an NFL quarterback. It wasn’t fun anymore. All of the fun was out of it. All of the excitement was gone. All I was doing was worrying about things.
Vince Young yesterday (h/t Eric):
“Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I ain’t never said I was going to quit football,” Young said. “There was a lot of stuff going on in my life, but football is not hard to me. Football is easy. All you have to do is be coachable and use your God-given talent. If it was a thought at all it was just a passing thought for a second.”
You know, I really have no problem with what Ricky Williams did. Hell, if I could get stoned and travel the world instead of working, I would do that in a second. But Vince? Yeah, just, wow.
Indecent Proposal
Mar 28, 2008 Fake Conversations with Real People, Gary Kubiak, Inanity, Kevin Bentley, President Lyndon Veins Johnson, Tempting Fate, Will Demps makes love to the...ladies?
Houston Texans lockerroom, 9:35 pm
Will Demps: (singing to himself) It’s my dick in a box, my dick in a box, girl / Christmas…dick in a box / Hannukah…dick in a box / Kwanzaa…dick in a box / Every single holiday, a dick in a box / Over at your parents house, a dick in a box / Mid-day at the grocery store, a dick in a box…
Kevin Bentley: Hello, William.
Demps: Whoa! Will Demps didn’t see you there! Why are you sitting in here with no music on? (turns Justin Timberlake CD on) I’m bringin’ sexy back…
Bentley: I was conjugating irregular Latin verbs from memory, William.
Demps: Conju-what?
Bentley: You know, “sum, erum, ero…” You have no idea what I am talking about do you?
Demps: Will Demps caught his reflection in the mirror and totally stopped listening to you.
Bentley: Anyway, William, much like our last encounter, it is fortuitous that I have again encountered you.
Demps: Speak English, motherfucker. Will Demps doesn’t speak uppity college jibber-jabber.
Bentley: (sighing) Cretin. Like I was saying, it’s good that you are here. Let me preface this by asking a question–you consider yourself quite the ladies’ man, don’t you?
Demps: Does a bear shit in the woods? Will Demps has been in more bush than Crocodile Dundee. Will Demps has plowed more fur fields than John Deere. Will Demps has bon–
Bentley: Christ, I get it! OK, that said, I think you realize that there can be only one, William.
Demps: What kind of Highlander shit are you talking about?
Bentley: This lockerroom–nay, this TOWN–is not big enough for both of us. There are only so many fine young females to go around, you know. So I have come up with a solution…if you have the courage for it.
Demps: Motherfucker, Will Demps has all the courage in the world. Will Demps once let a hungry fat girl go down on him; you have any idea what kind of courage THAT takes?!?
Bentley: Glad to hear it. Here’s the deal–a Contest of Sexual Conquest. Except, rather than sheer numbers, there is only one lady who matters. Bed this prize and you win; I’ll ask to be released so that I can go finish the Great American Novel. But, if I win, you must leave Houston and never return.
Demps: Shiiiiiiiit, holmes. Will Demps has never met some red snapper he couldn’t filet with a quickness.
Bentley: Is that a yes? I rarely have any clue as to what you are saying.
Demps: Fuck yes, it’s a yes. Wait…who’s the Golden Vag?
Bentley: Rhonda.
Demps: Rhonda? Rhonda who, Will Demps don’t kno–WAIT! You mean Rhonda KUBIAK?!?!
Bentley: Indeed, young William. Indeed. You see, I have found that the only prizes worth chasing are the ones that require the most risk. Much like how, once a man has killed another man, mere hunting of dumb animals never satisfies his blood lust again.
Demps: (looking confused)
Bentley: (exasperated) Yes. Rhonda Kubiak. Bed her and you win.
Demps: Will Demps is not so sure this is a great idea…but Will Demps loves him a challenge. Let’s do this. May the best man win.
Bentley: Oh, I shall, William. I shall.
TO BE CONTINUED…
More draft speculatin’
Feb 17, 2008 2008 Draft, Alex Gibbs, Dancing With the 'Tards, Gary Kubiak
For some unknown reason - and I think it has something to do with the half-assed coverage our beloved team normally receives - I have this irrational infatuation with how outsiders look at us. As one example, let’s look at the latest team needs via yahoo on rivals.com.
Running back? Sure. Cornerback? Well, like duh. Defensive end? Ummmm…..
I dunno. There is something a bit odd about Rivals listing DE as a Texans team need. And, see, here’s that weird little thing about Rivals that the Comicle can’t rival: Rivals actually takes pride in their reporting. So, if the Rivals sez it’s true, it must be, right? Well, in that self-gratification kinda way, they nailed that sucker!
Look, let’s be honest here. Will Smithiakibbs take a RB in the first? Extremely doubtful. I simply don’t see the team taking a RB with #18 with the new system in place and a whole host of RBs coming out this year. LT? Yeah, I don’t think so. I mean, if you took George Foster, would you take another T in the first so soon? Talk about jilted dude syndrome. CB? That’s a maybe. I still think that the team look at CBs via FA, and the CB talent this year in the draft - while not horrible - it won’t be elite by our pick. Talib? Maybe. I just don’t think so.
I’ve said for a while, no matter how irrationally, that we take a DE with our pick. I’m going to wait until after the combine as to who I think that might be, but, personally, I think that’s where we are going. However, I jumped on the Shake train a long time ago hoping that we will trade down to acquire a late first and late second. If that’s the case, all the better. Still, I think our first pick will be a DE.
If I am wrong, I will dance for your entertainment.
2500 Words on Roster Depth
Jan 21, 2008 2008 Draft, Alex Gibbs, Curious Coaching, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Free Agency, Gary Kubiak, I really need a different hobby, Like whoa, Posts that list too many players, Predictions Guaranteed To Go Wrong, Roster, Rumors
[Author's note: I've written this in fits and starts, had a bunch of different things I wanted to cover, and never really worked it through beginning to end. If it rambles, I apologize; if there are factual mistakes, they are mine.]
As we discussed in part one of my obsessive-compulsive pre-draft coverage, what a team should do in the draft cannot be determined in a vacuum. Therefore, to do this correctly, we need to compile as much information as possible and create a coherent Big Picture from which to work. So consider this Part Two of the project.
Now, whereas the last post focused on answering questions about the team, this one is going to take a look at what we know (or, more accurately, what we think we know) about the team and its tendencies. Hopefully, by combining what we know with our answers to the original questions, we can create an epistemological framework for analyzing the 2008 Draft. In this post, we will address what we know about the relative depth at the various positions on the roster.
1. Where we are thin. There are really two kinds of depth in the NFL. There is the “we have a body in case this guy goes down” and there’s “we have enough talent at a position to do all sorts of permutations and substitutions and keep everyone fresh while remaining effective on every snap.” For an example of the latter, look at the NY Giants defensive ends.
Thing is, only the “talent” depth is worth anything at all. In fact, you can go further and say having the “body” kind of depth as an actual goal is just plain stupid. I mean, you have a 53-man roster, so by definition you should always have enough bodies to replace an injured starter. So effin’ what? The point is to have depth with talent. While the Giants’ situation with their DEs is rare, it is the type of all teams should aspire to. Ideally, every guy on your roster is there because he was the best available player at his position in terms of what your team will ask of him. I say, “ideally,” however because teams and coaches seem to insist on carrying guys that serve no purpose (Petey Faggins) when there is almost certainly a better alternative out there. And they do it because “he gives us depth,” as if such a statement means anything.
How useless is “body” depth? As we saw with our secondary this year, even if every guy you planned on relying upon has been hurt and you have reached the end of your roster and have no guys left at a position, you are still going to be able to find someone to fill a hole. It might not always be pretty, but it’ll fill the hole and, really, the free agent on the street is unlikely to be appreciably worse than that 50th guy on your opening day roster. (And, on the flipside, you might just find a Will Demps who should not have been released by his former team and still has Pro Bowl-level talent.)
Anyway…all of this is just pie-in-the-sky rambling. Moving on.
Back to the point–where are we thin? The most obvious answer is in the Secondary, where neither of the top two CBs from 2007 is likely to start the season opener in 2008 and it remains to be seen if and to what degree Dunta Robinson will contribute in 2008. Moreover, Glenn Earl is an unrestricted free agent, is coming off a season-ending foot injury, and was never suited to be a free safety in the first place. Even worse, some of the backups–Jason Simmons (injured), Dexter Wynn, Von Hutchins (craptastic), and Roc Alexander (injured) are unrestricted free agents as well. Oh, and C.C. Brown is a restricted free agent. So, yeah, even if you account for unknowns like Derrick Roberson and Curome Cox, as of this very moment, it is not a stretch at all to say this unit is thinner than Tara Reid on a three-month coke bender.
Second–and perhaps most arguably–we are thin at RB. Ron Dayne (and this is the ONLY time you’ll see him listed among things that are thin) and Darius Walker are currently 1-2 on the depth chart I suppose, as Ahman Green is still a huge question mark. He’s injured, he’s old, he’s expensive, and he’s unproductive…but he’s also who we were relying upon as recently as 6 months ago. [Edit: Plus, you have the constant question of "is this the year Chris Taylor stays healthy and produces?"] With that kind of unsettled situation and only two healthy RBs–neither of whom is exactly something to write home about–you can only describe the position as “lacking.”
The final answer to my way of thinking is NT. Because we don’t have one. The Texans roster on the team homepage lists Travis Johnson as our only NT (most likely as a hold-over designation from the 3-4 days that no one bothered to change), but there are all kinds of things wrong with giving him that label. First, the mere fact that he outweighs our other DTs (other than Cedric Killings) does not make him a two-gap player. Second, he’s not even the best current team member for that position–in my opinion that would be Anthony Maddox (whom the interactive depth chart curiously has listed as Amobi’s backup), though I have unsubstantiated high hopes for DelJuan Robinson. Third, and perhaps most importantly it is my fondest wish that Travis would show up to Reliant one day, only to find that the locks had been changed. Then, as he looks around for a janitor or someone to let him in, he is gunned down by Central American Libyan rebels in a VW Microbus.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, lack of bodies. So, secondary and nose tackle are definitely thin as of now, and running back is arguably lacking as well. That could change if Demps is re-signed and remains exceedingly solid, or Dunta comes back quickly, or Ahman decides to stay healthy, or Travis gets sent to one of those shock boot-camp things where they send the crappy kids on Montel. But, for now, thin.
But that’s all obvious, because that’s a case of actually lacking players. If we turn our attention back to “talent” versus mere “body” depth, a case can be made that a number of other positions run the gamut of thinness from skinny to skeletal.
For one, and with apologies to Ephraim Salaam, we still don’t have a single NFL-quality left tackle on the roster unless Fluffy Spencer suddenly comes around. (The signing last offseason of Jordan Black was a perfect example of “body” depth as a goal, as no one in his right mind should have believed that a guy nicknamed “Turnstile” by fans of his previous team was going to offer much in the way of talent. The signing of the since-departed Kevin Barry was arguably the same thing–an attempt to accumulate large, non-dead humans.)
Currently, in addition to Salaam, Black, and Spencer, we have Brandon Frye who spent much of 2007 on the practice squad and of whom I wrote back in May:
The other Round 5 Brandon is, apparently, a mutant. 6′4″, 302, with a 690 lb squat and a 445 lb bench press to go along with a 4.79 40. He may be raw (actually, that’s not true… he IS raw), but he seems to have the tools to become a good offensive lineman. He finished the season at VT playing some left tackle, but I am guessing he will move to the interior of the line, perhaps displacing Fred Weary in a year or so.
Now, nearly a year later, I stand by the first part of that–that he is, indeed, a physical mutant and seems to possess solid tools from which to build. The only change I would make is to the second half of it, as his combination of speed and strength makes him a nice choice for the left tackle in an Alex Gibbs system.
But even if Frye is the LT of the future, that gives us…um…one healthy, in-shape, potentially-NFL-quality LT. THIN!!!
Moving inside to the guards, our depth chart currently shows Kasey Studdard as the backup at both left and right guard. Fred Weary is old (and injured and a free agent), Chester Pitts was less-than-stellar for much of the year, Scott Jackson is injured, and Mike Briesel and Dan Stevenson are relative unknowns. Until we have some sort of idea how Jackson will heal and what Briesel and Stevenson are capable of, the guard position offers nothing more than the “body” depth at best (and actual thinness at worst). And this problem could be exacerbated if some of the guys who seem healthy and ready to contribute prove unable to adjust to the Gibbs system.
On the other side of the ball, defensive end gives us another example of “body” depth without meaning. Currently, we have one great one (Mario Williams), one who has shown an occasional glimpse of real talent (Earl Cochran), one who is ancient and a free agent (ND Kalu), one who is grotesquely overpaid and did next to nothing this year (Anthony Weaver), and someone named Eric Powell who was just signed to a future/reserve contract. Unless Cochran turns out to be something good, we are sitting right now with one defensive end who is starter-quality and another–Weaver–who could possibly be again.
The other spot where we are sorely lacking on defense is at strongside linebacker. Danny Clark is good, but is a free agent and had momentary lapses that the coaching staff did not like. Charlie Anderson likewise had some solid moments but, overall, was uninspiring. Unless Zac Diles can move to the strongside (more on him in a bit), this position needs addressing in the offseason.
(Pauses to re-read all of the above.)
Guh…that was more than I planned to write for the first point. I think it all makes sense, though, so I am leaving it. Moving on…
2. Where we are deep. Based on the point I belabored above, you can guess that by “deep” I mean “richer than average with talent.” Under that rubric, really, it is possible to be “deep” at a position where you have but two players and not be deep at another where you have five. Which sounds confusing and counter-intuitive, but really isn’t. But, instead of further kicking that dead horse, let’s all just agree to read the following with that definition in mind, ok?
The most obvious position of depth on this team is quarterback. When you can have a serious discussion about whether or not you would trade your backup QB for a third-rounder, I think it is safe to say that you are stocked at the position. No, neither of them is going to remind you of Peyton Manning (because both of them are straight, for one thing), but they still give us solid talent behind our starting talent. For the record, I would still trade Sage in a heartbeat for anything in the fourth round or higher. But that is a different post that we and others have covered ad nauseum.
Secondly, we are stocked at middle and weakside linebacker. DeMeco is a golden god, but Diles has impressed both coaches and fans alike. (He’s also been versatile enough that Kubiak has made mention of moving Diles to one of the outside spots, which would change this equation somewhat.) What’s more, Danny Clark (assuming he’s re-signed) gives you a third option at middle linebacker.
On the weakside, as this blog and others have said, Morlon Greenwood is one of the most underrated defensive players in the league. He was consistently good to very good (with moments of great) this season. Behind him, you have Shawn Barber (assuming he comes back from injury and the team keeps him), the possibility of Zac Diles getting some time here if we find a strongside guy, and Danny Clark has experience at this position as well. This position is not so deep that it couldn’t be improved, mind you, but every person but one in line to play it brings at least some starting experience to the equation.
Moving back to the offensive side of the ball, a case can be made that we are potentially deep at Center. In addition to current starter Steve McKinney and seemingly serviceable Chris White (both injured), we recently signed two guys in Chukky Okobi and Greg Eslinger who seem to be very, very good fits for the new Gibbs regime. Thus, without even pausing to consider Mike Flanagan (who should not be on the roster as a center come September) or Drew Hodgdon (who might still be able to play guard), we have four Centers from which to find our best zone blockers and any of the four could conceivably be the guy.
Finally, I don’t think it is much of a stretch to say that we find ourselves deep at Wide Receiver. Andre Johnson, Andre Davis (because we better re-sign him), Kevin Walter, Jacoby Jones, David Anderson…that’s a solid five-man rotation. Now, as we saw, losing the guy at the front end of that list changes the dynamic greatly–Andre Davis is good, but it’s not like having a Reggie Wayne to stand in for Marvin Harrison–but going into the year with those five counts as quality depth in my book.
Now, astute readers will notice that the positions of TE and RT don’t appear on either list. The reasons why are as follows: At TE, whether we are deep or thin is going to depend on whether we resign Breuner, whether Gibbs likes Owen Daniels enough to make him the Shannon Sharpe of this offense, and whether we decide to keep Jeb Putzier (and how we choose to implement him). At RT, we have a very good starter and a specified backup, which is not really deep or thin at this point.
***
What can we glean from all this? Well, when you combine these holes with the draft history of the Kubiak-Gibbs era in Denver, I think we can assume that we will almost certainly NOT be drafting an o-lineman (even an LT) with our first pick, barring Jake Long falling to 18, but will fill up much of our second-day picks with the big fellas. There is a fair-to-good chance that we will go with defense, with the pick likely being the best-available defensive player who doesn’t play MLB or WLB. Personally, and I think I have said this before, I would rather get a CB through free agency instead of relying on another rookie alongside Fred. Also, if I had my druthers, I would prefer a nose tackle, but then this post isn’t about what I want.
There is also at least some evidence to suggest that Kubiak and Co will be willing to trade back if the offer presents itself, even trading all the way out of the first if the right package was available. Finally, I would not completely write off the idea of a running back at 18 if a Felix Jones or Jonathan Stewart was sitting there and Gibbs was convinced that was his guy.
History is the distillation of rumour.
Dec 28, 2007 2007 Season, 2008 Season, Andre Johnson, Bloggerating, Casserly blows goats... I have proof, Douchebag Tom, Gary Kubiak, Rosie Rosenfels, Roster, Self-Referential Stuff, Shameless begging, T-shirts, Tempting Fate, The Future, The Schaub Experiment
I’m guessing we all sort of assumed as much but, in case you had any doubts, Kubes said yesterday that Sage Rosenfels will start Sunday’s finale.
I’m going to start Sage. Sage will be our starter going into the game. It will be a game-time decision on Matt on whether he’ll be our backup or the third. Over the course of the next couple of days, we’ll see.
Possible Translation: Sage’s trade value took a hit last week, so I am going to run him back out there, hope they play their second-team defense, and give him a chance to bring that stock back up. Also, I’d be a fool if I let Matt Schaub back out there before his shoulder was 100%. Since I already managed to get Andre Johnson hurt this year, I think I’ll pass on taking another stupid risk. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go remind everyone that Mario was the correct pick.
In all seriousness, though (or at least as much seriousness I can muster), this is the right move. As much as we would like to win this game, it would almost be a pyhrric victory if Matt did further damage to the separated shoulder (or suffered another concussion). Besides, right now, at this exact moment in time, I can’t honestly look any of you in the virtual eye and say that starting Matt gives us any sort of increased likelihood of winning.
Which is NOT to say that I don’t still think Schaub is the guy, both in terms of short-term competition with Sage and long-term health of the franchise.
Unless I am missing something, we have four answers to the question of “What about Sage?” 1. We can hold on to him, content in knowing that we have “The Best Backup in Football” should Schuab get injured. 2. We can take advantage of his reputation as “The Best Backup in Football” and use it to net ourselves players or draft picks to fill more pressing needs. 3. We can make him the starter based on what he’s done this year as compared to Schaub. 4. We can hold on to him and let him and Schaub battle it out next summer because we believe both of them are capable of being an NFL starting QB.
Numbers 1 and 2 both have their merits, but we’ll deal with them in a moment. To my way of thinking, #3 is asinine unless you really, REALLY believe that we messed up by trading for Schaub, which is a pretty hard position to defend and is generally shared only by the same sort of people that believe Tony Hollings was a smart pick. Number 4, though…that’s what this discussion is really about, isn’t it? Because there are intelligent people who honestly believe that Sage is capable of being the starter and that whichever one of the two QBs who wins the battle can be the future of this organization. To those people, I have to say that I respectfully disagree. (To the people in the #3 camp, I disagree, but there is no respect involved.)
I’ve said it before, but there absolutely had to be a reason that Matt Schaub was the most sought backup QB in the league before last offseason. True, he did not have much of a body of work to support that lofty position, but NFL heads had to have seen something they liked in him to drive his pricetag up as high as it went. And in his first two games of this season, when the team was reasonably healthy and there was a semblance of a running game, many fans (myself included) were thrilled about how great the Matt Schaub era was going to be. So, yeah, there have been flashes of starting-caliber ability from Matt. Additionally, red zone INTs notwithstanding, there is no substantial body of evidence that suggests Matt isn’t capable of being a starting QB.
On the other hand, for all Sage has done this year, can we really overlook the fact that in four years of mini-camps and training camps (not to mention the 13 games had played in) he couldn’t beat out such Dolphin luminaries as Jay Fielder, Ray Lucas, Brian Griese, AJ Feeley, and Gus Frerotte? Don’t you think that, if Rosenfels had shown even a glimmer of the ability to be a starter, that he would not have been the one constant on the roster as the Dolphins brought in all those other guys in an effort to find a real QB?
Is this dispositive? Of course not. There is nothing that says future performance has to be directly correlated with past performance. Besides, in theory, it is perfectly believable that a guy languished in an organization so bereft of common sense that he never really had a chance to prove his ability. But, while that sounds nice in theory, can someone point me to one guy–just one–who did next to nothing for four years on a winning team (the Dolphins were over .500 three of Sage’s four years) only to be reborn as a bona fide starter somewhere else? I honestly can’t think of one. The closest I can come up with off the top of my head is Rich Gannon in his four years with Kansas City, but that’s a crappy comparison because (a) Rich had already been in the league seven years when he got to KC, (b) he played much more during his time in KC than Sage did in Miami, and (c) anyone with any sense was screaming for Rich to remain the starter over Elvis Grbac. Still, I suppose Gannon is an example of a very late bloomer, so at least that part holds.
On the contrary, you can think of a number of guys who were thought to be better than they’d shown with their previous teams, only to also suck upon arrival at their new NFL addresses, even if they initially showed promise with the second team. David Carr had some Carolina fans calling for Jake’s head based on some training camp games. How’d that work out? People actually believed that Joey Harrington could be the guy in Atlanta based on…umm…I actually don’t know. Brian Griese has gotten multiple shots like this, always based on a couple good games he had in the preseason or in the previous season. So, do you really have enough faith that Sage is the exception to this pattern that you would let the future of the Texans ride on that belief?
Look, I’m not trying to suggest that Sage hasn’t had a good year, or that his year wasn’t objectively better than Schaub’s. Clearly, it was. I would suggest, however, that we are comparing apples and oranges when we put them side-by-side: one is a guy who came in with a ton of promise, lived up to it for his first two games, then saw his #1 weapon–one of the best three or four WRs in football–go down and his running game go kaput; the other guy is one that has a five year history of not being the best QB on a roster full of crappy QBs, led a nice near-comeback that caused people to ignore his turnovers in that game, then was at the helm when Andre Johnson was back at full strength and the defense began playing much better. Which, I guess, is my long-winded way of saying that Sage’s success this year can just as easily be chalked up to right place, right time as to anything inherent in him. There’s nothing wrong with that–a lot of guys get their initial breaks that way (Kurt Warner, Tom Brady, etc.). But how many of those guys previously lost playing time to Ray effin’ Lucas?
Trying again to make a long story short–if you had to bet your life on one of these two QBs being successful in Houston five years from now, would you take the guy who came into town with enough promise to warrant two second-round picks or the guy who came into town after four years of being the backup to guys who should never have been anything more than backups?
“But,” some of you are probably saying, “why not just keep both of them so we have a solid backup?” Thank you for segueing me into Numbers 1 and 2 from the earlier list. In a perfect world, where every Mario Williams is backed up by an Earl Cochran and every free agent WR can produce like Andre Davis, it would be a fantastic luxury to have a backup of Sage’s quality. Hell, it would be ideal. But, as we all know, this Texans roster is far from complete. Our highest paid player, Anthony Weaver, has been invisible or worse for much of the season. We don’t have a real first- and second-down running back. Strongside linebacker, nose tackle, center, right and left guard, free safety, all continue to be question marks as well. To make matters worse–at least when it comes to filling some of those holes–we don’t have a second-round draft pick this year.
Even if you don’t buy the idea that Sage’s past gives us any sort window into his abilities, the mere fact that we have so many spaces to fill should suggest that, if someone is willing to give us any kind of a package that includes the words “third-round draft pick” we owe it to ourselves to make that deal. We would be letting someone else take the chance that Sage 2008 will be more like Sage 2004 than 2007 and we would be addressing actual, pressing needs.
I have to believe that Smithiak realize this need to get something for Sage and that this is what is driving all the talk about Sage being a quality NFL QB. I mean, otherwise, by telling the fans over and over that Rosenfels is a starting-quality QB and will “push” Matt to be better, they would be creating an instant QB controversy as soon as Matt had one down game. I might have bought that the previous regime was that short-sighted, but I tend to think this group understands these things and would not set Matt or Sage up to fail. Besides, given that Kubiak is by all accounts a huge Matt Schaub fan and has been since the kid arrived, any scenario that doesn’t revolve around getting the best team possible on the field around Matt Schaub would be incongruous with what they’ve been telling us.
Wow…I really didn’t mean to write that much when I started this post. Sorry about that. And I realize that a lot of this is rehashing some old points, so I don’t know that much of it is comment-inducing. Such is life.
****************************************************************************
In other, non-related bits:
- You know how I use the Texans’ logo at the top-left of every post? Well, after seeing that the NFL “asked” HPF to remove team logos and whatnot (and factoring in that there have to be at least a few people out there who are unhappy with their respective portrayals herein), I’m beginning to think that I should get rid of that. Now, this place is pretty graphic-free as it is, so I kind of like having a little something up there for visual interest and to make it easier to see where new posts start if I am scrolling down the page. I think it’s pretty well-known that I am awful at photoshops (right, BFD?), so if any of you can come up with some sort of graphic roughly that same size that “embodies” this blog in some way, I’ll, like, give you my undying love. And a free DGDB&D t-shirt, if you want one. To the extent this is a contest, it ends as soon as I pick one.
- Two different people have asked me if I am rooting for the Titans this weekend since I hate Peyton Manning with such a passion. No, I am not. I am rooting for Albert Haynesworth to kill Manning and then get kicked out of the game for violating Peyton’s corpse, but I want Sorgi to lead the Colts to the win. My reasoning? Seeing Vince choke away a playoff birth would make Mario’s breakout season extra sweet. (Also, if we can’t make the playoffs, I don’t want those turds to make it, either. I am selfish like that.)
- Douchebag Tom the douchey banned commenter is still a douchebag. Which is not really news, but still seemed worth mentioning.
Filed Under "Better Late Than Never"
Oct 2, 2007 2007 Season, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Dunta Robinson, Gary Kubiak, The Fred
Sweet cross-dressing Jesus, this is some fantastic news.
The main starting job in jeopardy is the one held by cornerback DeMarcus Faggins. He accounted for 38 of the team’s 78 penalty yards against the Falcons. He was moved to nickel back partway through the second half and replaced by Jamar Fletcher.
This week, the coaches will focus on [Fred] Bennett, who has missed most of the last two weeks after injuring his hamstring in Carolina. They will see how close the rookie is to a bigger role.
That’s right, boys and girls, Coach Gary has seen the light (shining through the space between Petey and everyone he has been assigned to cover this year), and Coach has had enough. He has finally come to the realization that DeMarcus Faggins is not only below average at what he is doing, but is actually so bad that he is crippling our secondary. The days of “Petey Faggins, CB2″ are almost over.
I think. Unfortunately, the article does not say what will happen if Bennett isn’t ready. For purposes of my own mental health, however, I am going to assume that Jamar Fletcher will start in that situation. Which, in addition to relegating Petey to nickel (which can actually play at a decent level), will allow me to test my theory that ANYTHING would be an upgrade over Faggins.
Not everyone agrees with my assumptions, however, or even with the idea that Faggins should be shot released moved down on the depth chart.
Dunta Robinson has been a mentor to Bennett, his former teammate from South Carolina. The four-year veteran said he doesn’t think it’s time for any lineup changes.
“So far they haven’t said anything,” Robinson said. “Petey (Faggins) is still the starter. Petey is one of those guys where you don’t have to say much to him. He handles his business. He knows what he needs to do. You’ve just got to keep encouraging guys in that situation.”
I would like to believe that Dunta is just saying what he is supposed to say in this situation and that he doesn’t actually believe that Petey should remain the starter. Otherwise, we might want to have Dunta’s eyes checked, because I fail to see how anyone–let alone another NFL CB–could watch Faggins’ play over the past three weeks and think that Petey was “handl[ing] his business.”
Unless, of course, his “business” is “making opposing offenses look really good,” in which case he is Donald Trump.
It’s worth noting the list of available free agents in case Fletcher is only a slight upgrade over Faggins and Bennett is not healthy enough in the very near future. For instance, Jerametrius Butler is out there. He’s old as hell, but is a veteran corner and is an established CB2. And, if we wanted to take a flier on a guy who has about one shot left before he’s canned for good, Ahmad Carroll is available. I’m not sure how I feel about that situation, other than to re-affirm that I think even he would be better than Faggins. There are a few other less-known names out there, too, any of whom could be worth bringing in for a workout.
As I type feverishly in an effort to convince myself…
Sep 18, 2007 2006 Season, 2007 Season, Colts Shmolts, Gary Kubiak, Jacoby Jones is slighty less unheralded, Ron Dayne likes pie, Zoolander's snazzy handwear
I left a shorter version of that last post as a comment for Stephanie over at FanHouse. In response, she brought up a good point: when we beat the Colts last Christmas Eve (i.e. the last time they lost to anyone), we did with David Carr and Ron Dayne.
Not only that, we did it with the final iteration of Zoolander the Texan. You know, the one whose progression was “safety valve, run out of bounds, fetal position.” The one whose month of December included things like 3-step drops1, 4 INT game, and a overall rating for the month of 59.9. In that game against the Colts, however, Johnny Whitegloves went 16-26–7 of those to the RBs–for 127 yards (a whopping 4.5 average) and 1 TD. Clearly, this would not be good enough to beat the Colts. Yet, win we did because Ron Dayne chipped in with 153 rushing yards and two TDs, which, along with Kris Brown’s two FGs, allowed us to eke it out.
Now, nine months later, our team appears to be markedly better in nearly every aspect than the one that took the field last December. Most importantly, in place of Carr and Dayne, we’re rolling out there with Schaub and Batman. And, if we can manage to get the Colts to punt–they didn’t punt once in last year’s game–we have Jacoby freakin’ Jones ready to bust off a little somethin’ somethin’.
My point?
Andre Johnson had 4 catches for 48 yards in that game, meaning he wasn’t exactly the reason we won. Hell, he had a holding penalty that negated a TD and forced us to settle for a FG late in the game. We won because Gary Kubiak’s gameplan called for minimizing our weaknesses (i.e. Carr) and exploiting the Colts’ weaknesses (i.e. run defense). There is no reason to think we can’t use the same philosophy this time around. If we do, we can be in this thing until the end.
If, in addition, we cause a couple turnovers and avoid any of our own, we can actually win this game. And I can say with little or no hyperbole that a win Sunday would be the biggest win in the history of the franchise, bar none.
1 Despite this shortened drop and the instruction from the staff to stop trying to read defenses, Sandy was still sacked 12 times in December… behind the EXACT same line that has only allowed 2 sacks of Matt Schaub. Can we please, PLEASE stop pretending that David’s own timidity and lack of poise didn’t lead to most of his sacks?
Credit where credit is due?
Sep 14, 2007 Casserly blows goats... I have proof, Dunta Robinson, Gary Kubiak, National Media, Reggie Bush, Super Mario
On the list of “Things That Make Me Happy,” getting an email from a reader with the subject line “CBS gives Casserly oral” would be way up there near the top.
Reader Grayson sent along this link along with the observation that it “looks like someone at CBS has Casserly’s wang in their mouth.”
Casserly defied conventional thinking in taking Williams, and that led to an uproar around the league, and especially in Houston. He was vilified on the talk-show circuit.
People love offensive highlights, which Bush and Young provided in college. They don’t get excited for defense. “We took a lot of abuse for that pick,” Casserly said.
That might change now. And here’s why: The Texans indeed picked the right player
I like the gist of the article–the Mario Williams was the right guy–but I don’t know how much credit we should give ol’ Chuck. I mean, the general consensus is that Kubiak pushed for Mario as much or more than Casserly, right?
I know, I know… if people were going to bag on Casserly when Mario seemed to be playing poorly, then he should get credit for the success Mario seems to enjoy now. Fair enough–if you believe he was the impetus behind the pick. If not, then both the derision and the praise are/were misplaced. The majority of the articles I read after the fact–at least those written by people who would be “in the know”–suggested that this pick was made primarily because Gary Kubiak was sold on Mario (and possibly though Domanick Williams (nee Davis) would be back).
UPDATE: Tman makes a good point in the comments–that one great game does not equal redemption. I don’t argue with that. My bigger point here is just that, whether Mario succeeds or fails, the credit/blame should not go to Casserly for this pick. He’s relegated to his other good works (Andre Johnson, Dunta Robinson) and his other flops (see, generally, 2002-2005).
My long Nigerian nightmare is over
Jul 27, 2007 2007 Draft, Amobi Okoye is 20, Gary Kubiak, Training camp 2007, Tremendous Busts
In addition to being 20 years old, Amobi Okoye is now a Houston Texan. (Hat tip to Mark, who continues to make my job easy.) Late last night, Okoye signed a 6-year (voidable to five) deal with $12.785MM in guaranteed money (out of a total $17.6MM).
With that move, everyone who is supposed to be at camp will be at camp, where Kubiak can begin the process of crushing dreams and releasing underperforming players. (Travis Johnson, I am looking at you.)
Anthony Maddox got me a sweet deal on this sofa
Jul 10, 2007 2007 Draft, Amobi Okoye is 20, Athletes who don't stab people, David Carr has Post-Concussion Syndrome, DeMeco Ryans, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Gary Kubiak, Posts that list too many players, Preview, Super Mario
Filed under “Betcha ESPN never mentioned this,” over the last eleven games of last season, the Houston Texans had a top-10 defense.
Now, before the negative types in the audience say anything, yes, I know the whole “if you remove all the bad, of course they were good” rebuttal. But, however true that argument is in other situations, it misses the huge underlying point here.
Last season, Kubiak took a 3-4 defense and transmogrified it into a 4-3. Considering the struggles of the 3-4 in 2005, especially against the run, one would have expected some struggles with the change in scheme. And struggle they did for the first six games.
Week 1. McNabb throws for 314 and 3 TDs, the Eagles rush for 130, and Houston loses 24-10.
Week 2. Mrs. Chesney throws for 400 and 3 TDs, the Colts rush for 125, and Houston loses 43-24.
Week 3. Brunell throws for 261 and 1 TD (and sets the consecutive completion record), the Redskins rush for 234, and Houston loses 31-15.
Week 4. Culpepper throws for 249 and 1 TD, the Dolphins rush for 70, and Houston squeaks out a 17-15 win.
Week 6. The Cowboys threw for 203 and 3 TDs, rushed for 170, and beat Houston 34-6.
Now, the conventional explanation for why this D struggled out of the gate was because it was attempting to fit square 3-4 pegs into round 4-3 holes. This sounds good, but isn’t completely true. Jason Babin, Travis Johnson, and Seth Payne were the only DL remnants (with Babin technically a LB in ‘05) from the 2005 season on the 2006 roster.
A more accurate reason is that the defense was almost completely new, not only in terms of scheme, but also in terms of personnel. Two-thirds of the starting DL from 2005 (Robaire Smith and Gary Walker) were missing from the ‘06 team. Meaning you had Travis Johnson and rookie Mario Williams thrust into a starting roles, Anthony Weaver starting at DE without the support of the Ravens’ D all around him, and a revolving door at the other DT position that started with Seth Payne and ended with someone who was delivering furniture a few weeks before he suited up.
Right behind those guys, you had a rookie MLB replacing both Antwan Peek and DaShon Polk, and a SLB (Orr) with only one full season and 59 career tackles. In fact, one could argue that the WLB Greenwood was the only member of the front seven who was a proven performer in the 4-3 (having played it in Miami).
Looking at all of that, not struggling would have been surprising. Yet, something happened on the way to the cellar–this group of guys gelled, the system clicked, and the defense became good. Their 300.1 YPG in the last ten games would have ranked 8th over the course of the whole season. Compared to other teams over the same span, that average also ranked the Texans in the top 10 in the NFL.
That a team so comprised would struggle out of the gate with such a switch is almost expected. That the same team would pick up the new system so well in five games so as to be one of the league’s best defenses over the last 10 games of the season is wholly unexpected. That a team would rise to that level despite having an injured RDE, uninspiring play from DT, and a ‘tweener at LDE is unheard of.
Along with David Carr packing his sandy vagina and moving to BBQ Hell,1 the development of the defense over the course of last season is one of the most exciting things about this upcoming year. After all, the team went out and improved the defensive line by bringing in Manchild and relegating Travis Johnson to the bench.2 DeMeco is another year older. Mario is healthy and has been working on his technique. Anthony Maddox is not beginning the season as a Rent-A-Center associate. Shawn Barber and Danny Clark were brought in to provide depth at linebacker (and possibly challenge for a starting spot). And on, and on, and on it goes. With the way this unit finished last season, if the pass coverage can just be passably decent (or if, by some sort of divine intervention, Petey Faggins becomes WAY better during camp), this side of the ball could be one of the best in football.
[Author's note: Tip of the cap to Stephanie whose post here gave me the idea for this one.]
1 Also known as “North Carolina.”
2 I fail to even pretend that Okoye will not be better than Bust Johnson.
Tank Johnson is dangerous… and available
Jul 3, 2007 Anger, Athletes who don't stab people, DeMeco Ryans, Gary Kubiak, Is Roger Goodell gonna have to choke a bitch?, Preview, Super Mario, Tank Johnson's gunrack
I spent most of the afternoon doing two things–driving fiftyleven miles into rural Arkansas1 and trying to come up with an argument for the Texans to sign Tank Johnson.
There are myriad reasons not to and they are all pretty obvious. Dude has a penchant for firearms; he couldn’t stay out of trouble long enough to complete probation and wound up serving time; he hangs out in places that get his bodyguards/friends killed; he drinks and drives; and2 he has had more than enough chances to pull his large head out of his large ass, but has failed every time.
I know all of these, yet I am still intrigued.
Perhaps the most alluring part of signing Tank is that he plays a position (0- or 1-technique, 2-gap DT) where we have struggled3 to get production. What, you want a visual aid?
Maddox, Anthony
2006: 12 G, 24 Tkls, 2 Sacks, 1 FF, 1 FRJohnson, Travis
2006: 9 G, 8 Tkls, 0 Sacks, 1 PD
2005: 15 G, 23 Tkls, 1 Sacks
See? Now, I realize that neither of those guys has technically played a full, healthy season, and that tackles are hardly the measure of a two-gap tackle. On the other hand, I also realize that Tank could be had for roughly $255,000 this season. (Base salary of $510,000, minus salary for the 8 games of suspension.) I further recognize that Tank would be eligible to practice through camp and up until kickoff of the first game and that, by all accounts, he was a very good player on a very good defense last year. So, I am willing to roll the dice at that kind of price tag for a 25 year old two-gap d-lineman who played on a Super Bowl team.4
But what of the influence of Tank the human being? Won’t his presence poison the team?
Look around… we have, basically, a group of large, well-paid boy scouts. We are currently more concerned that someone might over commit himself for charity appearances and not be able to make one of them, than that one of them is going to bang a stripper’s face on the stage. We also have a defensive leader (Ryans), a coach that seems willing to cut bait if push comes to shove, and good veterans like N.D. Kalu and Jeff Zgonina to counteract any bad vibes. Moreover, I think the pressure Tank would take off of Mario and Manchild in-game would be greater than any detriments he might bring to the team.
Seriously… worst case scenario if you sign him for $300K or whatever is that he screws up (again) and gets suspended (again). Except, while he is suspended, you don’t have to pay him, so you are really out no money. As for the whole “poisoning” of the team, I don’t buy it. He didn’t poison the Bears last year, our guys should be mature enough to deal with him in the clubhouse and ignore him (if need be) off the field, and, honestly, the complaint about him is that he is asstarded off the field. On the field, the man can play.
In the end, I am pretty sure that the turds up north will sign him to a two- or three-year sheet, so this is all probably meaningless. Still, if the chips fell right and we could get him under this scenario, I think it would be a good move.
Of course, I am opining on whether to sign a guy who has been suspended for half the season. Please, god, let the season start soon. Or let one of the scout team guys pull a Rae Carruth.
1 You got a purdy mouth.
2 Whether drunk or not, the man was going 40 in a 25 and swerving. Even Mario would look at that and say, “Damn, that’s some DUMB driving.”
3 Understatement.
4 I am not willing to pull a Jerry Jones / Dan Snyder and take a chance on a longer deal, considering he still faces charges in Arizona that might preclude him from playing for years.
Trent Dilfer-itis is contagious
Jun 22, 2007 Andre Johnson, Batman, Broken Record, David Carr has Post-Concussion Syndrome, Gary Kubiak, Offensive (punch)Line, Preview, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Schaub Experiment
Through the magical power of Google, I get an email anytime anything is posted to a blog (or most news sources) with the words “Houston” or “Texans” in the body. I, for one, welcome our new Google overlords.
Anyway… I received one of these emails yesterday and it pointed me to the blog “Stampede Blue,” where something called “BigBlueShoe” was opining on the Texans’ upcoming season. Normally, such a thing would not inspire more than a comment or two. The smugness and overall idiocy of this post, however, requires actual fisking. (Yes, I realize that most of this is just a rehashing of the same stuff I’ve been writing about for two months. Whatever. The post bugged me.)
Let’s do this.
The Texans acquired Schaub in the trade with Atlanta, gave him a nice new contract, and then kicked their former-franchise QB, and #1 overall pick in 2002, David Carr to the curb. I know Texans fans are tired of hearing this, but sometimes the truth hurts: David Carr is a fine QB, and Matt Schaub is not an upgrade over Carr.
Oh, really? And what, pray tell, are you basing this on? I mean, if you are going to put it in bold letters, you must really have some insight into why Schaub is no better. In fact, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt for a second and let you make that argument.
Yes, I agree with Trent Dilfer. Call me crazy. Call me silly. Call me Al.
How about I call you “dumb?” Would that work? After all, that’s what we all called Trent Dilfer when he made the original statement that you agree with. Oh, by the way, you still have not shown me why Schaub is not an upgrade. Maybe in the next sentence…
I’ve watched several Texans games, and every time I’ve watched I’ve marveled at just how well Carr played despite the fact that his coaches were morons and his offensive line couldn’t block Rose O’Donnell and the cast of The View if they were in pads (scary thought).
You mean the line that had a lower sack percentage (despite Carr’s reluctance to get rid of the ball before properly observing every option at least four times) than teams like the Seahawks, Falcons, Steelers, etc? That line? Hold on… did you just use “several” in reference to games in which you “marveled” at how well Carr played? Where did you set the bar for playing well? By that standard, Cleo Lemon is poised to blow your freakin’ mind this season.
(A quick primer, Mr. Shoe. The way it works generally is that you make a statement–say “Carr is better than Schaub”–and then you back it up with some supporting evidence. Please note, however, that “supporting evidence” does not include conjecture and some first-hand, hyperbole-riddled “evidence” that is completely unverifiable.)
Like all skill positions, QBs must have talent around them to grow and succeed. Carr never had that. Hell, he didn’t even have decent talent. It was all pretty much just suck-a-rific bad.
Last season, behind a much-improved line and throwing to Andre Johnson and Eric Moulds (who, admittedly, didn’t pan out, though a lot of that was due to Carr as well), Carr was not demonstrably better than he had been in the previous seasons. Sure, the lack of a running game was painful, but just as painful was the way Carr played. By the end of the year, the coaches were asking Dave just to get rid of the ball on short routes and stop playing like he’d recently had a lobotomy. Hell, one can make the argument that even Sage Rosenfels would have been an upgrade over Carr by the end of last year. No, he never had a team reminiscent of the Pats or Colts around him, but he did show an inability to utilize the players who were there.
Peyton Manning would not be the football god he is today without having Tarik Glenn as his left tackle, Marvin Harrison as his WR, and Tom Moore as his offensive coordinator for his entire career. Glenn and Harrison are HoFers. Moore is the best OC in football, and has been for many years. Manning also had the luxury of having guys like C Jeff Saturday, WR Reggie Wayne, TE Marcus Pollard, and RB Edgerrin James for most of his career. David Carr never had those things, and Matt Schaub doesn’t have them now.
You left out “Reche Caldwell choking worse than Dirk Diggler’s girlfriend” and “Rex Grossman turning in a performance that was slightly more painful to watch than your own grandma in a trucker gangbang” as things that helped Manning achieve “god” status. All joking aside, I think we all agree that Schaub does not have the 2006 Colts around him. Which is why no one is picking the Texans as a Super Bowl contender. Then again, you could also argue that Manning’s preparation and ability and whatnot made all of those guys seem better than they might have been without him; it cuts both ways, you see.
Of course, you still have not acknowledged that the Texans line is nowhere near as bad as you make it out to be, that Andre Johnson is amazingly good, that Schaub has a much quicker release than Carr, etc. No need to let silly old facts get in the way of a good screed, I guess
Schaub is living off a reputation built up by his performance in one game which he lost. Schaub’s 3 TD performance against a decimated Patriots team is pretty much all Schaub has done in his three seasons in the NFL. Other than that, Schaub ain’t done squat. And the sad part is, this STILL makes him better than Vick.
Maybe that is what made Schaub that #1 number two QB in the league over the past couple years. So what? That does not prove that he is not a better QB than Carr. And, for the record, since coming to the Texans, Schaub has also built a reputation of being a great teammate, a hardworker, and more impressive in workouts than DC ever was. So, if you want to completely throw out any carryover reputation from the Pats game, I would still take Schaub based on what he’s shown since coming to Houston.
All that said, Schaub might work out as an improvement just because he’s a new face, a symbol that times are changing. Yes, that is indeed pathetic, but what else can you say for a franchise that has never won more than 8 games in one season.
Wait… wha? Let me see if I follow your “argument” so far: Carr is better than Schaub because David impressed you on television “several” times, despite not being the Colts’ QB. Schaub is a turd because he threw three TDs against the Pats, but his team lost. Ergo, Schaub might work out simply because he’s a new face? Huh? (As for what else can you say about the franchise, how about “they swept the Jags last year and beat the Colts once, so there is reason to think that an upgrade at QB and a healthy line could make them a 9-7 team with a little luck?”
Schaub is throwing to the same over-rated group of receivers Carr did.
A. No, he’s not. Other than Johnson, of course. B. I thought you said they were suck-a-riffically bad. How can you be awful, be called awful, and then simultaneously be overrated? Are you saying they are actually worse than awful?
His offensive line is still bad.
Well, it was better than a number of teams last year, it is finally healthy as a unit (even with Spencer still banged up), and it has a QB behind it now that doesn’t turn into a deer in the headlights in the face of a linebacker.
Like Carr, Schaub will likely not have a consistent running game. Free agent acquisition Ahman Green is done, and it’s obvious.
Man, you are just full of baseless assertions today, aren’t you? How is it “obvious” that Batman is done? By the 266 carries, 1059 yards, and 5 TDs he had last year?
So, unless they can get some talent around him, Schaub is doomed to the same fate Carr was.
Umm… I thought you just said that Schaub might work out because he has a different face. Which is it? And, considering your premise is faulty (that there is “no” talent around Schaub), shouldn’t we also assume that you conclusion is wrong? I vote yes.
If someone sees where in this post the author made a solid argument, based upon demonstrable evidence, that Schaub will not be better than Carr, would you please point it out. At best, I find him rehashing the same tired assumptions about the Texans, interspersed with some random assertions that he does not (or cannot) back up.
Finally, Shoe ends the piece with a line about how Carr might overtake Delhomme in Carolina before the two teams meet. All I can say is I hope so.
Sam Gado prescribes nine wins to cure what ails us
Jun 5, 2007 Boobies, Fred Weary is dirty, Gary Kubiak, Jacoby Jones is unheralded, Offensive (punch)Line, Preview, Samkon Gado cured cancer
This morning, I offer three nuggets of Texans corn wedged into the turd that is the internet.
Samkon Gado is going to miss some practices to finish studying for the MCAT. In a league where some people can’t spell MCAT, Gado has not given up on his goal of becoming Dr. Sam, MD.
Gado missed a handful of the workouts last month but is back in Houston and has returned to practice. He’ll take the test July 15.Kubiak wasn’t worried about Gado missing the time for such a good reason. “He’s an impressive human being,” Kubiak said. “He’s got his stuff together, and he’ll be fine.”
He first took the test two years ago but decided to take it again to try to improve his score before applying to medical school. He enrolled in a class in South Carolina.
This is cool. I have nothing much to add to it, I guess, but it is still cool. Good luck, Sammy-kon.
Fred Weary may be under investigation for beating someone down in a nightclub and for allegedly going all Ike Turner on his wife, but Kubiak does not seem overly interested in the hub-bub. Kubes said the whole thing was a” family matter.” Whatever. What interested me about this article was this line:
Weary has not been charged with the incident that erupted last week at a Houston swingers club. (emphasis added)
“Hi, my wife and I were looking at you and we wondered if you would like to join me? She would like to meet your husband, too. [Fred walks in, buck naked] OH GOOD GOD, WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!?! [woman faints, man weeps]“
Finally, in a move that has to make one wonder how sold the staff is on Kevin Walters, the team is auditioning Kennan McCardell today. Granted, KMc has not cracked 1000 yards since 2003. Also granted, he is 37. However, unlike a certain act of desperation on the part of a certain Tennessee-based NFL team, this move makes some sense. You bring in McCardell, see if he still has enough straight-line speed to stretch the field and make life easier for Andre, and then you decide if he is worth signing at his asking price. There is none of the Keyshawn “I’m still the greatest, I ain’t playing for less than ONE BILLION DOLLARS” situation involved here, at least that I can see. I may not be thrilled about the move–remember, I am still in JJ’s camp–but I can see the motivation behind it.
Mike Tyson suggests eating Peyton Manning’s kids
May 31, 2007 Demarcus Faggins sucks, Gary Kubiak, Preview, Sam Adams, Secondary issues are primary, The Fred
When last we left OTAs1, the rookies were learning the ropes, the veterans were adapting to some new facets of the playbook, Kevin Walter was blackmailing Kubiak with nudie pictures in order t