Steph
Aug 29, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Little Dickie Justice, Richard Justice is a talentless hack.
Posted without comment, but I think the word needs to be passed. If you should feel so inclined, a letter to the editor might be helpful, but keep it clean and professional.
Houston Chronicle Columnist Richard Justice Unfairly Attacks Alex Gibbs…and Then Me?
A DGDB&D Exclusive!: The early works of Richard Justice
Aug 16, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Little Dickie Justice
Note: Matt and I were honored to anonymously receive a box of Richard Justice’s old writings. Many of them were written in pink or purple crayon and thus difficult to read, but we did the best we could. Here is the first installment. Special note: All “i”s were dotted with a smiley face.
by Little Dickie Justice, age 14, Memorial HS, 1974
Dear Diary,
Ohmygod! He finally said “Hello” to me today, diary! His name his Dylan Wayne Whitman, and he’s absolutely dreamy! Somebody said he graduated like 4 years ago, but he’s here when I get here in the morning and he’s here when I leave in the afternoon. Oh diary, it must be because I’m here!
And he does things that make other men cry. People always seem to be thanking him after he gives them a plastic bag full of white powder, and others bow their heads in obvious deferment to his greatness, too scared and awed to even speak to him. Everybody admires him and his really cool band t-shirts. And he’s got the fastest car in the neighborhood. He is greatness.
Oh diary!, his greatness is so great, it makes me proud to just be around him! I feel like I can do more, and especially more for him, if you know what I mean diary. Every day I get home and I practice on a banana for when he’s ready for me. He just makes me feel so good about myself!
Diary, it’s my gift to you that I will document all of my adventures with him. It’s the least I can do. But, for now my sweet, diary, mommy bought me those new batteries, so I’m off to prepare for sweet, great, Texan Dylan.
XOXOXOXOXOX,
Dickie
My crush note to Peter King
Jul 28, 2008 Little Dickie Justice, Pancakes McTard, Peter King sucks balls, Ranting
Dearest Peter,
Though we all know I could never speak as eloquently as my erstwhile co-blogger, Matt, I am going to add my dos centavos to your high-level of discourse when it comes to Texans fans.
Your obviously well-though-out comment about Texans fans reminds me of an old boss I used to have. During one of our usual discussions when I was questioning his lack of intelligence and morality, his rejoinder was that I “lacked a sense of urgency.” You see, in my boss’ world, running around without a plan or goal was showing a sense of urgency, while coming up with a plan and executing the plan meant that I didn’t care.
How does this apply to you? Thanks for asking! You seem to have this odd belief that, just because you wear some makeup, a dress, and a pig nose, one is a “passionate fan.” In the real world, one would say these people have some horrific father issues, but that’s neither here nor there. The simple truth is that dressing in drag does not equal passion (unless, of course, that’s your goal, as Pancakes would attest).
Perhaps, to you, passion means catching players when they jump into the stands after a score? Or is it flashing gang signs to your dog-killing quarterback? Making sweet love to your sister?
Do we need more fat guys to paint their bodies?
Do we need to turn the AC down to -20? The heater up to 140?
Or, like a Dallas fan, do we need to beat our wives after a particularly close loss? Is that passion to you, Mr. King?
Can you please forward me your quantifiable passion formula? Because if there’s anybody who knows about passion, you are that person.
Maybe, just maybe, we should take a moment to think the unthinkable. Perhaps, you’ve never as much as even watched a game involving the Texans. Perhaps, you don’t even like football. There are no other truly rational reasons for you to state, objectively, one of the most irrational statements uttered by a “sports” writer since Richard Justice’s latest column on the Texans.
If your idea of evoking passion was to piss off the Texans Nation en masse, mission accomplished…you fucking East coast hack asshole.
FOAD,
bfd
Kickoff
Jul 20, 2008 2008 Season, Dancing With the 'Tards, Little Dickie Justice, Pancakes McTard, Posts that list too many players
Football? In Texas?: It looks like the comicle writers finally remembered that it was football season and decided to stitch together a few articles for the benefit of the masses (sic).
Pancakes sez (I used quote form, but these are basically paraphrases with my comments thrown in. Hard doing this while holding a baby):
Kubiak thinks Mario looks good.
Learning left tackle is hard and it’s a little scary having Eliza Doolittle Duane Brown out there over Ephraim Salaam.
Xavier Adibi and Antwaun Molden are both making progress. If it is true that Molden is ahead of Fred Bennett at similar points, we have a ton to be excited about.
Most improved are: “defensive tackle Amobi Okoye, guard Kasey Studdard, safety Brandon Harrison and receiver David Anderson.” Harrison intrigues me quite a bit.
In his blog, Pancakes sees Darius Walker as the odd man out. Hard to disagree, but between Ahman Green and Chris Brown, injuries might settle that decision, first.
These sorts of articles are nice, but until we start seeing some pre-season action, let’s not put too much stock into these comments.
But here’s the money-maker from Pancakes this morning:
And then there are some of you who seem to think that Mario Williams is still a bust, and he stumbled into all 14 sacks that were created by other pass rushers. And you fail to point out that every pass rusher with a lot of sacks gets some of them because of their teammates. There’s nothing I can do to convince you otherwise, so I won’t try because you’re hopeless.
Seriously, you can’t make this shit up. In fact, I think the above accurately reflects with the staff of the comicle, en masse, wrote about Mario last year. Assholes.
Lil Dickie Justice, age 12, managed to go an entire article without mentioning Vince Young once, definitely a new record. The article, itself, is relatively useless.
Gettin’ people inked: oiler-texan diehard poses a good question about getting our top draft picks signed. With Jake Chris Long (seriously, doing this while holding a baby is difficult) now signed, I think we’ll start seeing the dominos fall, and we’ll hopefully get the rest of our guys in camp quickly.
bfd, you dumb: socctty makes a great point, and I will take it upon myself to become more football stats geeky this year.
Adventures in stupidity: Finally, it’s my belief that the best thing about the intertoobz is the democratization of information. I still believe in the old Schoolhouse Rock belief that knowledge is power. Of course, the worst thing about the non-dumptruck utilizing tubes is that anybody can post garbage on them. As Eric said, this is the sort of post that makes Baby Jesus Buzz Bissinger cry.
Lessee here: irrational hatred of the Texans? Check! Functionally illiterate? Check! Can’t count? Check! Has no idea what football is or how it works? Check and check!
Ladies and gentlement, your next Lil Dickie Justice!
(h/t to Eric for his assistance this morning)
Jellyfish
Jun 2, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Little Dickie Justice, Pancakes McTard, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Righteous Indignation, Token
If you’ve been following the comments on Jerome Solomon’s “Will the Texans win eight games” blog post, you are (a) as bored as I am and (b) no doubt aware of the back-and-forth that has transpired between Solomon and Mark (1Tex) as well as between Solomon and Solis.
Long story short, Mark took Solomon and the Chron to task for being so needlessly negative and pointed to a pro-Texans article from the Dallas Morning News as proof of getting better Texans coverage elsewhere. Solis then added that the Chron’s negative approach and subpar coverage of the team was why so many people were anti-Chron at this point. Solomon fired back that the same article had been posted on the Chron, that the Texans coverage on the paper was not negative, and that Mark and Solis sounded like they were whining.
Mark and Solis each responded, basically pointing out that Solomon was missing the bigger point here, to which Solomon replied that there was no “point” and likened the idea that people agreed that the Chron sucked to the KKK. (No, seriously.)
In all, it was your typical “Chron writer gets defensive about how poorly the paper covers the team” discussion. It would event be post-worthy were it not for this line from Jerome:
Courage to run what you say? You are nuts if you think I don’t run comments from people who disagree with me.
That’s good to hear. I mean, one wouldn’t want to think that Jerome was selectively approving comments in order to avoid having his argument shot down. Nope, he is better than that; he runs comments from people who disagree with him.
Unless those comments come from me or BFD.
Right after Solis’ first comment, BFD wrote the following:
Cmon, there’s really no reason to try and use logic on this here site. Wasn’t it JS who called Texans fans morons, or something similar, last year? Pancakes was “liveblogging” the Saints game last year, but obviously wasn’t watching the game. And RJ still can’t let go of his unrequited man-crush of VY.
The coverage here is pathetic and condescending with a bunch of reporters who are more excited about the Cow-pokes than they are the team they are supposed to cover.
That was written at 11AM on Sunday. As of 1:40PM on Monday, it still hasn’t been posted. Shortly after BFD, I added a comment of my own:
I also agree with 1Tex. It’s no secret among Texans fans that the Chron’s coverage of the team is horrible. Heck, look at any Texans blog, Texans message board, or just talk to any fan who cares enough to follow the team on a daily basis.
Obviously, Jerome misses the larger underlying point that 1Tex is making–the Chron’s coverage of the Texans should BLOW AWAY Texans coverage on other news outlets, yet it never does. At best, we get the same “oh, the team isn’t that good” tripe that we get everywhere else in the ether of the internet.
On top of that, we get a DALLAS COWBOYS BLOG on the Texans main page. Between that, a guy who lives to make insipid videos, a writer that will never forgive the team for not drafting Radio Young, a piece of eye-candy that has never once written anything remotely insightful, and a guy who literally called the Texans fanbase “losers” last year, it is little wonder that Texans fans feel like the Chron’s coverage is subpar.
I think every Texans writer at this paper should thank the deity of his/her choice that there is not a another major daily paper in Houston.
That comment also to that internet comment graveyard in the sky. I would have chalked it up to our being a collective persona non grata at the Chron and left it at that, but Jerome had to go and make it sound like he wasn’t filtering. So I emailed him, asking where my comment was if he was so willing to run opposing viewpoints. He replied that the problem was my inclusion of the atexansblog.com URL in my header.
Fine, I sent a new comment, basically mirroring my last one with some added responses to what he’d written in the interim and I was sure to leave my URL out. I was even somewhat friendly in this version.
I also agree with 1Tex. It’s no secret among Texans fans that the Chron’s coverage of the team is horrible. Heck, look at any Texans blog, Texans message board, or just talk to any fan who cares enough to follow the team on a daily basis.
Jerome misses the larger underlying point that 1Tex is making–the Chron’s coverage of the Texans should BLOW AWAY Texans coverage on other news outlets, yet it never does. At best, we get the same “oh, the team isn’t that good” tripe that we get everywhere else in the ether of the internet without much in the way of additional, insider-type articles that a local paper should provide.
On top of that, we get a DALLAS COWBOYS BLOG on the Texans main page. Between that, a guy who lives to make insipid videos, a writer that will never forgive the team for not drafting Radio Young, a piece of eye-candy that has never once written anything remotely insightful, and a guy who literally called the Texans fanbase “losers” last year, it is little wonder that Texans fans feel like the Chron’s coverage is subpar.
*****
“And to say that the Chron’s stories on the Texans are shrouded in negativity is a bit disingenuous, considering the team has never had a winning season.”One has nothing to do with the other, Jerome. You don’t have to have a winning season for articles following your best season to date to remain positive about the upcoming year. The team was .500 last year and, for the first time ever, seems to have most of the pieces in place to challenge any other team on any given week. Given that, which makes more sense–to talk about how the team has a better chance than ever to win at least 9 games OR to keep pointing out how they haven’t won 9 games in any previous years?
“Journalists are not supposed to write like fans of the team and say all is well when things are falling apart.”
Nor are they supposed to keep talking about how Mario Williams is a bust and wrong pick when he is dominating opposing teams and making the people who drafted him look like geniuses. They are supposed to write objectively about what is actually happening. So, when things AREN’T falling apart, by your rationale, the writers should not suggest that they are. (Unless you really think things are falling apart right now, which is a ridiculous assertion.)
Look, I don’t disagree that the paper should not aspire to be Pollyanna Sunshine 100% of the time. And I don’t think that negativity is necessarily the biggest problem facing the Chron (though it is certainly an important issue). The problem, as I see it, is that (a) the coverage provided that is good is–more often than not–written by the AP or someone unaffiliated with the paper and (b) the stuff written by Chron staff reeks of negativity so often that the occasional piece that isn’t gets lost in the mix.
That was two-and-a-half hours ago. Still, nada. About thirty minutes ago, following the brilliant KKK mention, I added:
The KKK comment is ridiculous and does nothing to further the debate. If you can’t see why it doesn’t work in the context of this debate–I can already hear you typing “no it’s not, both are examples of people with similar opinions”–then this conversation is pointless.
As for arguing that Solis’ (and others’) OPINION is wrong, how can you take that stance and still argue that people shouldn’t call you an idiot because you don’t like MMA? Your OPINION is that MMA is not entertaining, right? You back it up with other opinions–that it is about violence, that it is boring–but in the end it is still nothing more than opinion. And opinions are a matter of taste, not a matter of fact that can be argued.
Oh, wait, I forgot that it was perfectly acceptable for Chron writers to be hypocritical. See, e.g., Justice’s positions on Mario.
Of course, since you still haven’t posted my last comment, despite my removal of the URL, I doubt this one goes up either. And, yes, that is a thinly-veiled challenge.
I won’t hold my breath that either of these gets posted.
In the end, I can’t even pretend like this is surprising. After all, both BFD and I have taken many, many shots at the Chron and its staff over the past 13 months, so I guess they are justified in shutting us out of their comments if they want to. Whatever. Just don’t sit there and pretend like you are running all of the comments, even the negative ones, when you most certainly aren’t. THAT “is a bit disingenuous,” Jerome. If the people in charge won’t let you run DGDB&D comments, then say so. Hell, I’d have more respect for you if that was the case. Otherwise, I am going to assume that you and your cohorts are spineless and incapable of anything resembling the rational debate you claim to be willing to engage in.
Dahling, with the first pick the Texans will take…
Apr 11, 2008 2008 Draft, Amobi Okoye is 20, Boobies, Dancing With the 'Tards, Little Dickie Justice, Pancakes McTard, Please let the season start soon, Secondary issues are primary, Will Demps makes love to the...ladies?
On TexansTV (under Special Segments), Pancakes (in his best Howard Morris voice) predicts the Texans will take Aqib Talib.
Here’s hoping that Pancakes, as always, is wrong. Again.
Now, I’m not saying that the Texans don’t have a need at CB - oh no, far from it - so give Pancakes credit for actually picking a position of need (I think we know that Little Dickie Justice would be pushing to trade all our picks for *longing sigh* Vincy-pooh). Talib has considerable character issues, which, as the article states, has caused many teams to drop him off their boards completely. Last year, we did draft ManChild even after he admitted wearing green sweaters, but Talib has had a tough time staying out of trouble.
Then, when you consider his tendency to be downright toastable in pass coverage, we have a combination that can be beat with our first round pick. I just can’t see the Texans taking Talib here, though it’s not impossible, but I hope we go in a different direction.
_____________________
I don’t have time for a separate post, but guess which Texans’ ladies man extraordinaire will be a judge at the Texans’ cheerleaders competition? Could they have possibly chosen anybody better than Will Demps? Check out the TexansTV link above under Football.
The interview is so banal all the way until he’s asked about the judging, and then he’s more flustered than…well, than I would be around a bunch of scantily clad hotties jumping up and down and up and down and up and down in front of me. As DiehardChris, who sent the link, mentioned: you can see his face light up. You can see Demps trying to figure out how to bed them all.
Little Dickie Justice, age 12, still doesn’t get it
Apr 10, 2008 2006 Draft, Anger, Broken Record, Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Little Dickie Justice, Reggie Bush, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Vinsanity, age 12
Promoted from our boards, the awesomest thing ever on the internetz. Evar.
According to kozanack, who gets today’s award for raising my blood pressure, Little Dickie Justice was on the radio yesterday and…well, I’ll let koz tell his own story:
I was driving along today, channel surfing on my car radio, and sort of half way paying attention to the blather. Suddenly I realized the host (Justice) was trashing the Texans because they had the opportunity to increase the level of interest in pro football with the casual fan here in Houston, but screwed the pooch. He followed that by saying that Drayton and Les Alexander had confided in him that the Texans would be on top of the sports world here in Houston in only they had taken Vince or even Reggie instead of Mario. Then he went on to say one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.
He said that even though last year Mario clearly outperformed both Reggie and Vince, Vince was the right pick at the time, and the Texans blew it. He went on to say that even if Mario turns out to the best decision in the long term, Vince was the right choice at the time, so the Texans blew it. Basically, even if Vince bombs, anyone other than Vince was the wrong choice, especially Mario.
I think the first thing we should all be is thankful that Justice does not have any actual influence on our football decision-makers.
Matt and I have lamented before on Little Dickie Justice’s obvious homo-erotic man-crush on VY, not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that. Just because I think Maria Sharpova is gorgeous does not de facto mean that she’s the best tennis player in the world. But that seems to be about 51% of Justice’s argument (Maria, call me!).
The other 49% seems to be, and this is more speculation than anything, that because Vince is a hometown hero, he would be better from a marketing standpoint. Now, of course, this completely discredits whatever Reggie Bush argument he might have, but I’m trying to pry open a walnut-sized mind here, so give me a break.
Back to Vince. Drafting Vince would’ve been, specifically, a marketing ploy. This means that this second half of Justice’s argument is that marketing is much more important than winning. Now, I could go back and do a regression analysis of the relation between winning and attendance, but as fans, we don’t need that analysis. We already know better: winning teams put fannies in seats. Period.
Could you imagine an offense with 2 INT to 1 TD Young? Heck, let’s say we drafted both Young and Bush and his awesome 3.7 YPC and complete inability to run between the tackles (a kinda necessity in a zone blocking scheme, donchaknow). What would you guess for a record? 3-13? 2-14? Again, be thankful Justice isn’t in charge of these decisions.
What bothers me most, I think, is that it exposes Houston’s traditional print media as a bunch of moronic crybabies who are still pouting three years later that they didn’t get their way. As I’ve said before: if I was wrong every day of my life and didn’t understand the basic concepts of my job, I would lose my job instantly.
Little Dickie: you were wrong then, you are wrong now. There’s no way you can rationalize this one to your advantage, and every time you open your mouth, you embarrass yourself. Mario > VY + Bush. The end.
And I just had to get the following on our front page, courtesy and permission of DiehardChris:
Well done, Chris. Well done.
