Kickoff
Jul 25, 2008 2008 Season, Awesomeness, Kickoff, Non-Texan stuff, Overexposure, Please let the season start soon, Preseason 2008
Save the Date, Bitch. It’s here! It’s here! It’s finally fucking here! Remember when you were a kid and the calendar would roll over to December and you’d scream “Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, Christmas vacation is almost here!!!!!” Well, the start of training camp is the same feeling, only multiplied by AWESOME.1
Jerks. Here’s where I was going to put the Duane Brown bit, but Eric and BFD stole my thunder. (I kid. I really dig that those two can save my ass from time to time (read: always).) Yes, that was a double parenthetical.
FYI. I think I mentioned this once before when it was still in the planning stages, but you can sign up with Sporting News to get a daily sports newsletter, and they even email you each day so you can click and go there instead of being bothered to type one of those old-fashioned URLs. It’s nothing ground-breaking, but sports is sports, ya dig?
Finally. Not to keep stealing someone else’s thing, but I found another odd jersey in public last night. I ask you…is this retro or a visitor from the near future? (That’s a Falcons jersey. I continue to have problems surreptitiously photographing people with my phone.)
1 That equation would be “(Jesus+Tittyfucking+Christ)*AWESOME = Start of training camp.”
If he’s lucky
Jun 5, 2008 2006 Draft, Awesomeness, Overexposure, Overrated, Reggie Bush
Somehow, in the hullaballoo yesterday, I managed to forget to post this.
Anyway, courtesy of reader Vega, comes ESPN’s list of NFL players who need a strong 2008 to rebound from a shitacular 2007. Guess who’s on there.
Go ahead, guess.
Oh, but it gets better. From the article: “A scout once declared Bush a Marshall Faulk clone. He’s starting to look more like the second coming of Eric Metcalf.”
Now that’s funny. But it’s even funnier when you think about a certain song parody from last September, wherein I wrote:
Good morning NFL, how are you?
Don’t you know me I’m the chosen one,
I’m the running back they call The Next Gale Sayers,
But, I’ll be returning punts in Cleveland by the time I’m done.
(Full disclosure: Tim gets credit for the original nicknaming of Bush as “Eric Metcalf, Jr.” I just ran with it.)
A post wherein Titans fans send emails and comments about how great Vince is and how I am a jealous dumbass.
May 27, 2008 2006 Draft, Overexposure, Overrated, Vince Young can't read this post, Vinsanity
Boo fucking hoo.
Apparently, Vince Young is a huge pussy was so bummed about life in the NFL that he nearly quit after his first season.
I really thought long and hard about it,” Young said on Thursday after practice. “There was so much going on with my family. It was crazy being an NFL quarterback. It wasn’t fun anymore. All of the fun was out of it. All of the excitement was gone. All I was doing was worrying about things.
So what brought him out of this funk you ask? His teammates. And God.
My teammates helped lift me out of it. I prayed really hard. And I began to focus on God’s calling for me. Play football. Be a role model.
Hey, far be it from me to say whether God exists or opine on whether he really gives a shit about athletes qua athletes, BUT I am reasonably sure that anyone whom God chose to be a QB would post a TD-INT ratio of better than 9-17. I mean, Kurt Warner was sacking groceries and God told him to be a QB and he put up 41 TDs and 13 picks. Jon Kitna loves him some Jesus and even he can post a near 1:1 TD:INT ratio. Yessir, God’s QBs tend to put up respectable (or better) QB numbers.
Long story short, Vince, I think you might have misheard God. Maybe he said your were supposed to be a cornerback. Those sound pretty similar when you are hammered on Patron.
Gettin’ drunk
Jan 18, 2008 2007 Season, Bloggerating, Boobies, Colts Shmolts, Dancing With the 'Tards, Inanity, Overexposure, T-shirts, Teams that aren't the Texans
Five announcements before we get to this weekend’s picks:
1. DGDB&D is pleased to announce the addition of bigfatdrunk as a contributing author. I have no idea how much he will post and I will let him handle any sort of introduction he might want to do, but rest assured that this addition was done solely to keep this place from becoming too highbrow. Not that we were really in danger of it.
2. Speaking of how not-highbrow we are, according to two different sources today, it seems that this little corner of the blogosphere is being blocked by some corporate firewalls as “pornographic content.” This blog may be many things, but I think we can all agree that it is not being overrun with naked people fucking. Even former Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart would not look at this site and say it was hard-core obscenity. Asinine, perhaps, but not porn.
3. Reminder: Richard Justice t-shirt contest is ongoing. Just under two weeks left to get your entries in. I would link to the other entries here, but I am lazy.
4. After checking some of the referral links and some emails and stuff, by my count, there are five females who regularly read this place. I am not sure if this is surprisingly high or surprisingly low. Either way, welcome.
5. Maybe I am crazy, but if the Colts are going so far as to say who “will be” the coach “if” Dungy retires, I’m guessing we won’t see Tony pontificating on the sidelines next year.
On to the picks…
Last Week: 3-1
Regular Season Record: 156-91
Playoff Record: 7-1
Playoffs Week 3 Picks:
San Diego @ New England. San Diego in the Super Bowl has about 1/1000th the attraction to anyone outside of Southern California, regardless of your stance on the Patriots. Even if you hate them, you’d much rather see them lose the Super Bowl and go 18-1 than go 17-1, right? And, if we get that Patriots/Packers matchup on Feb. 3, I don’t think it is a stretch to say it will break every conceivable sports television record. Pick: New England
New York @ Green Bay. I’m not saying that the powers-that-be want the Packers to win, but when you are scheduling a mid-January playoff game at Lambeau and you set the start time for 6PM EST, you are making some kind of statement. The wind chill at kickoff is expected to be somewhere around absolute zero and Brett Favre’s below-freezing home record is something like 562-1, so I really, really have a hard time believing Green Bay won’t win this game. I do, however, think there’s a fairly good chance that someone shatters upon impact like the T-1000. Pick: Green Bay
Petey Faggins and I will likely not be exchanging gifts this year
Jun 1, 2007 Demarcus Faggins sucks, Overexposure, Preview, Secondary issues are primary, The Fred, Undrafted Free Agent watch list
As I mentioned to Stephanie in the comments to the previous post, I am fully aware that (a) I am very tough on Petey Faggins and (b) that, in theory, he could prove me wrong and actually develop into an NFL-caliber CB2. I admit both of these points without hesitation.
Faggins seems like a nice enough guy1, and I think that is why Texans fans who are pro-Petey give him the benefit of the doubt time and time again. (Well, that and the fact that he is a native Texan; you know how loyal Lone Star Staters are to their own.) But, nice guy or not, I can’t shake the feeling that he looks lost every time I see him on a football field. Given that he scored a Vince-esque 10 on the Wonderlic, my suspicions are grounded in a bit of reality. He also doesn’t seem strong enough to play corner against receivers taller than 6′0″, which his THREE reps at the combine bear out.
Now, yes, I realize those combine numbers are half a decade old. He is probably a little stronger and he has developed his football intelligence. However, I am instantly struck with the old saying about a Silk Purse and a Sow’s Ear. Or maybe it’s that thing about not being able to make a ho into a housewife. I’m not good with metaphors.
Whatever. If I am in the minority about thinking that Petey out-and-out sucks, I’ll give him one more season to prove me wrong. And, by “one more season,” I mean “until he jacks up so badly that I scream YOU SUCK at the television.” Until then, I’ll ease up and just classify him as “not that good.”
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In other CB2 news, the latest from Lance Zierlein says that CB Jason Horton is doing “a very nice job during OTAs.” He doesn’t say what Horton is doing a nice job at–it could be bringing water to Mario for all I know–but I suppose that this is a positive development. My money and my vote are still on Fred Bennett beating out Horton, Fletcher, etc.
Also, I still haven’t heard ANYTHING about Brandon Mitchell, the undrafted FA out of tOSU, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes a good showing during camp. If he’s still alive, that is; like I said, I haven’t heard word one about him. If anyone has any news, I’d be glad to be privy to it.
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Finally, in Matt news, I have two announcements. First, Chron.com has added DGDB&D to their main Texans page. The posts over there mirror what you see here (with editing, where need be), so there really isn’t any reason for regular readers at this address to go over there. Still, I thought I would mention it. (I also don’t have my picture beside my blog name, which I guess means I am not as cool as Thomas Hilton. I cry now.)
Second, I am going on vacation2 starting Sunday. I’ll still be posting–no need to panic–but it could be a little more sparse, especially from Sunday through Thursday.
1 He and I have the same birthday (June 13), so he can’t be all bad. Nice, I just used a parenthetical in a footnote!
2 I’m sure the people who know me in real life are thinking “vacation from WHAT?” Bite me.
Charles Spencer implores you to click on that link
May 27, 2007 Charles Spencer, Offensive (punch)Line, Overexposure
I (finally) have a post up at Texans Talk that doesn’t also appear here. Granted, it’s another “Matt sticks up for the O-line” entry, but whatever.
Mario Williams is an adult
May 26, 2007 Big dudes doing the little things, Overexposure, Preview, Simulpost, Super Mario
Megan Manfull has an article over at Chron.com about Mario Williams‘ personal and professional maturation since last year and his expectations for the upcoming season. According to the article–the Lambo Incident notwithstanding–Super Mario has been pretty much perfect this offseason. He has followed the rehab for his foot to the letter. He has hit the weight room with intensity and focus. He is showing maturity in the wake of the YouTube fiasco.
But it’s just one of those things that bring you back to reality and let’s you know you can’t even do any little thing now.
This attitude is the underlying point of the article–that Mario is more mature than last season and this wisdom should translate into better play.
I don’t disagree with that premise, I suppose, but I think the most exciting part of the article for Texans fans should be this throw-away line:
He also is making strides in his technique. He is working on improving his footwork and improving the way his hands work with his feet.
Now, I am already on record as a Super Mario fan who thinks that the Williams draft pick was completely justifiable. That said, I’ll be the first to admit that he relied too heavily on sheer athletic ability as a pass rusher. When his foot got injured and his athletic explosiveness was limited, his lack of a repertoire of defensive moves made him almost non-existent in the pass rush. (His run defense was still surprisingly good–teams actively ran away from him for much of the second half of 2006–but that’s not really what he’s here for, you know?)
One of the hardest things to do in life is to admit that you are lacking in some area. This is doubly true in sports, where machismo reigns, and probably even more true when that deficit is a facet of the thing that you are expected to do. That Mario can objectively look at his game and see a need for technique improvement speaks more to me about his maturity than his reaction to some YouTube video.
I already expected big things out of Mario this season; I’m thinking it might already be time to upgrade those expectations.
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For those of you who have checked out my appearance over on Texans Talk, thanks. I am still trying to get a feel for that place–frequency of posting, seriousness of topics, annoyance at footnotes–so you’ll have to bear with me for a while. I still say that I will (at some point) get some stuff up over there that you won’t find here; it just might take a little while before I figure something out.
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Also, I assume that most of my readers who don’t also know me in real life are from Texas. That being the case, I was hoping one of you might give me a good recipe for a brisket rub. Email me at mattycamp -at- gmail.com (or you can just click the link in the upper right).
