DGDB&D: a Texans blog.

A conversation I didn’t want to start before Week 12

Nov 18, 2008 2008 Season, Fire Richard Smith, Posts that list too many players

Matt wanted me to cover a News and Notes this morning, but I had been pondering a different topic.  And, considering I go into meetings for the next four hours here in about….18 minutes, fuck it.  Here we go.

I had a lot of hope before the season started.  However, the alarm bells on our defense started ringing during the pre-season, and little has been done to improve the situation since.  In fact, Richard Smith’s complete inability to dress his best guys, much less start them, has been painful to watch.

Our offense has clearly not been the problem.  Yes, it would be nice to keep Teh Schaub healthy.  And, yes, it would be nice if Duane Brown could do better against speed rushers.  But, I strongly believe we have the best WR/TE group in the NFL, and Super Steve Slaton has been awesome (5.1 yards/carry) while Ahman Green is even toting the rock at a solid pace (4.2 yards/carry).  Not signing Ron “Three Pies and a Cloud of Meringue” Dayne was the best non-draft move we made all year.

The defense.  Wow, the defense.

At BRB, the postgame vent thread had a lot of yapping about the draft.  I fully admit I don’t understand the inclusion of a QB in that discussion (that high, at least) when I damn well know The University of Texas at Austin offense could drop a double-nickle on the Texans easily.  The defense is that pathetic.

Here are my thoughts about the draft and a touch on our defensive philosophy heading into 2009.

First, let’s switch to a 3-4 defense under our new defensive coordinator (Wade Phillips, maybe?).  This could give us a defensive line of Mario, Frank Okam and Earl Cochran.  Your linebackers would be made up of DeMeco Ryans, Xavier Adibi, and Zac Diles.  In the defensive backfield, you have Fred Bennett and Dunta Robinson.

Wait a minute.  It appears I am now three players short on defense.  Oh, I know!  How about Brian Orakpo with our first pick?  I think he could be somebody who could come off the edge or drop back into coverage a la DeMarcus Ware.

Then, we need to address the fact that our safeties suck and they’ve always sucked.  And that’s how we start improving this team.  Something radical needs to be done on the defensive side of the ball.

Let’s hear some suggestions.

Fuck Asterisks—We Fucking Blow: A Discussion of Shit and Shittiness

Nov 10, 2008 2008 Season, Awfulness, Fuck, Posts that list too many players, Shit

Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, that sucked worse than a snaggletoothed Parkinson’s patient.  There were a couple good things that came out of it, but they were buried underneath about 37 tons of shit, so we are really going to have to dig to get to them.  And I am not in the mood to start with the happy stuff anyway, so push up your sleeves and dig in to the festering pile of yesterday.

First and foremost, I have an announcement to make.  If there is anyone who still honestly believes that Sage RosenFAILs should be starting over Matt Schaub, you are fucking retarded on a Travis-Johnson-like level and you are forever forbidden from commenting here or speaking to me in public.  In fact, if I hear that you’ve even uttered the name of this blog to someone out in the real world, I will sue.  I’m not totally sure what my cause of action will be, but goddamnit I’ll do it anyway.  I have the free time.

Sage should not be starting for this OR ANY OTHER team.  My argument for why he should have been sold to the highest bidder at the end of 2007 was simply that it made no sense to not get something for a guy that, if everything went to plan, would not see the field.  People argued with me and said “but if Schaub gets hurt, you HAVE to have someone who can step in and lead the offense and not miss a beat.”  Yeah?  How’s that fucking argument working for you now?  I said it then and I’ll say it now–you do NOT have to have two good QBs in this league.  Pittsburgh doesn’t, Indy doesn’t, New England apparently fluked into a capable backup, New York sure as fuck doesn’t, etc.  What you HAVE TO HAVE is one good QB and a line that will keep him upright.  And getting extra draft picks for a backup QB is the type of move that will give you more opportunities to build your line.

Now, however, we sit here (to paraphrase Chris) with a QB that we’d be lucky to get two Pop-Tarts for.  (And even if you could get two Pop-Tarts for him, they’d be those shitty, non-iced cinnamon ones that require a gallon of milk while you are eating them because they are so dry.  ‘Cause ain’t nobody giving us two iced strawberry tarts for this asshole.)  Great.  Awesome.  Wonderful.  FUCK.

Moving on…

You can blame the officials a bit (or even more than a bit), but the fact remains that we were penalized roughly 45 times for about 883 yards (give or take), including a holding call that negated the Wonder that is Stevie.  I love Stevie, so this made me very sad.  Again, say what you will about whether the calls were right because some definitely were not, but playing shitty, sloppy football is going to lead to those kinds of blown calls.  What’s more, as some have said here and elsewhere over the last few miserable weeks, we have never done ANYTHING to warrant getting the benefit of the doubt on a questionable call.  Until we establish that (a) we are good enough to win without holding/tripping/hoping the other team gets dysentery and (b) develop a reputation as one of the “good” teams that “deserves” (and, yes, I am using both of those terms ironically) breaks, we are not going to get them.

And it sure as fuck doesn’t help your cause when your LT tackles Terrell Suggs right in the middle of the endzone, drawing a safety.  That’s the kind of shit that is going to make people start looking for holds because it looks (correctly) like you are getting owned.  Also, as an aside, Sage does not deserve that kind of protection, Duane.  Let Suggs go.  Become vengeance, Duane! Become wrath!

Remember way back a couple weeks ago when I wrote this long-ass post on coverage schemes and what we should be doing?  Remember how I said that the one coverage that we should NOT do with the personnel we have is Cover-2?  Anyone care to guess what we were running on Yamon Figurs TD (Hint: The GIANT hole between TWO deep safeties should clue you in) ?  I don’t claim to be anything other than a defense-obsessed fan, but if this kind of shit is obvious to me, shouldn’t it be even MORE clear to the people in charge of the team? It isn’t exactly rocket surgery, ya know?

I can’t figure out what is wrong with Fred Bennett.  The knock on him before he became awesome last year was that he was afraid of contact and not much good at tackling.  Yet, yesterday, he was hitting well and tackling well, but was giving a Faggins-esque cushion to everyone and was covering like crap.  How can the part you were GOOD at regress but the part that you had to work to improve actually keep improving?  THANKS, RICHARD SMITH.

Speaking of Richard Smith, why in the holy fuck do you insist on letting Jacques Reeves “cover” the other team’s best WR?  Does it mean nothing to you that teams–all teams, including teams like Minny that have no appreciable passing game–are going RIGHT AT HIM?  I mean, it does not matter who he “defends” (again, ironic), teams have figured out (rightly) that they should throw the ball his way early and often.  Because he sucks, you see.  Yet you don’t do anything about it.  Because either you ate paintchips as a child or you hate me so personally that you’ll submarine the team’s hopes just to try and make my head explode.  I’m on to you, Smith.

Hey, Morlon Greenwood, while you were busy continuing to make me look like an asshole, did you feel a hot sensation on the back of your neck?  That was Xavier Adibi, who is going to have your job by next August at the latest.  Because you are playing like you have your dick caught in your zipper and don’t want to make any sudden movements, while Adibi was busting his motherfucking ass on Sunday.  Thanks.  Jerk.

Finally, can someone please tell me why Gary Kubiak still hasn’t figured out clock management?  You have timeouts, you are trying to score at the end of the half, you don’t get to keep those TOs for the second half (maybe no one has told him this), yet you let approximately 12 seconds run off the clock, hurry a first-down pass, then run an impotent draw play?  What. The. Fuck?  You’ve been doing this for multiple seasons now, Gar.  Maybe…just maybe…YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO FUCKING USE TIMEOUTS AND CHALLENGES, YOU ASSHOLE.

*******

Like I mentioned up there a ways, there were a couple good things that came out of this smegma fest.

First, have I said recently how much I digs me some Earl Cochran?  Since the middle of last season, he’s shown a high motor (despite not being white) and a nose for the ball every time he’s been given a chance to play.  He’s figured out that, as the DE opposite Mario, you are never going to get doubled and you just need to keep bringing it on every play and eventually you’ll make good things happen.  Ladies and gents, if Earl Cochran is not your 2009 starter at the non-Mario DE spot, we better have signed Julius fucking Peppers or something.

DeMeco, welcome back.  We were missing you.

LVJ played well (not great, but well) at the SLB slot.  I don’t think he’s the long-term fix there–he’s more valuable on STs with the ability to fill in at SLB or MLB when needed–but he shouldn’t be a liability as the season winds down.  Still, I’d trade three years off my life for us to draft Brian Orakpo and covert him to SLB.  A 255-lb beast of an SLB right behind Mario when teams put the TE on that side to help block Mario?  That’s the type of shit that forces teams to run the other direction all goddamned day.  (Not that we seem able to tackle RBs right now, but whatever.)

Dunta is still not 100%.  This much is clear.  But is there anything better than seeing him playing out there and not being the least bit tentative due to the injury?  I think not.

Our receiving corps, as bfd pointed out, fucking kicks ass.  Andre Johnson is a god.  Kevin Walter plays the Boo Boo to ‘Dre’s Yogi very adeptly.  Dance Dance Revolution is an idiot, but he’s the less-white Wayne Chrebet.  Owen Daniels should be a Pro Bowler if there is any justice in the world.  Etc.  Too bad we don’t currently have a QB who can use those weapons in a positive manner.  (Unless you count using ‘Dre to clear the middle of the field so you can better complete a pass to Ray Lewis as “positive.”)

If I sound negative even in talking about the good stuff, it’s because I am.  After all, that’s the problem with that kind of shit-laden performance; even the good parts are going to be stained and stinky.

AJ, K-Dub, and DDR

Oct 30, 2008 2008 Season, Andre Johnson, Dunta Robinson, Posts that list too many players, Preview, Self-Referential Stuff, Super Mario, Vonta Leach KTFO Award

[Author's note: I'm a little late getting this finished because I got sidetracked with you bastards complaining about formatting issues.  Regardless, here it be.]

Because of this blog, I generally watch games with a thought of “ok, what’s the big picture lesson here” in the back of my mind.  Approaching the game that way does two things for me:  1. It makes writing the post-game post easier and, 2. it keeps me (usually) from overreacting in the moment and, instead, forces me to evaluate the game as part of the larger season.

This past Sunday, however, the only large, overriding truth I could pull from the thing is that the Bengals really, really suck.  And you know what?  I don’t care.

I don’t care because that was a motherfucking beatdown in every facet of the game.  In fact, the only thing I can find to criticize (other than the usual dumb shit pulled by R. Smith) is the same thing Tim found—that the starters should NOT have been out there in the fourth.  And, hell, after seeing this team piss away two wins late, I can’t even really get too worked up about keeping them on the field and running up the score just to be safe.  (Though, had Andre Johnson gotten hurt, my tune would be wholly different.)

Random observations from the game:

1. Matt Schaub looks REALLY fucking good right now.  NINE incompletions in two weeks?  Total??  Jesus.  That rules.  And when you start finding Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) open, you are definitely going through your reads.  It took a while, but the Schaub we all hoped we were trading for seems to have arrived.

2. A huge part of why Schaub looks so good?  Because Andre Johnson is a god.  The man makes spectacular catches so often that we’ve come to expect it.  He’s the AFC Offensive Player of the Month. He seems to always be open.  He’s the perfect mix of Hines Ward and Randy Moss, but with none of the attitude of either.  And, hell, he doesn’t even complain when Schaub hangs him out to dry—he just makes the catch, takes the hit, and trots back to the huddle.  Class act all the way around.

3. Vonta Leach, Blocking Fullback >>>>> Vonta Leach, Pass Catching Fullback Inexplicably Split Out Wide.  The latter was a liability; the former knocks motherfuckers’ dicks in the dirt.

4. I am still not sure what to make of Zac Diles.  He’s playing his ass off and playing well right now, but there have also been times this season when he’s been exposed as being too small to really play SLB.  For the time being, I guess I’ll just enjoy how aggressively he plays the position and hope that teams don’t start running right at him.

5. Kevin Walter and DDR continue to show that there is always a place in the NFL for guys who bust their asses on every single play.  Walter’s second TD was one of the most heads-up reactions I’ve seen from an NFL player this year.  How many guys would have stayed down?  How many more would have assumed they were down after the touch and gotten tackled?

6. Didn’t you used to be Chad Johnson?  Shut your pie hole, fuck-o.

7. A couple different people pointed this out to me, but doesn’t it seem like we use motion on every single play lately?  Why is this?  For one thing, we rarely cross a guy all the way to the other side of the field—it is usually just moving toward the line and then back out or Elvis splitting out from the TE position—so it’s not like we’re looking to exploit matchups.  For another, we throw so much right now that most teams are playing some sort of zone against us and aren’t going to follow the motion man.  I don’t get it.  I guess I can’t argue with the current results in the passing game, though, so I’ll deal.

8. Much like the ROUSes, I was reasonably sure the Texans’ Red Zone Defense did not exist.  Nice to see it espcape the fire swamp and make an appearance.  [/The Princess Bride references]

9. Dunta Robinson is a bad ass.  The INT was awesome (and set the franchise record), but his reaction after not intercepting the earlier pass was even better.  A lot of guys would have jumped up and danced for knocking the ball away; Dunta was mad at himself for not making the pick.  That’s the difference between being a character and having character.

10. Can we get Jacoby’s mom seats in the front row of the other endzone, too, since we go that way twice per game?  She is some serious good luck for the man.

11. Dear Travis Johnson,  That was your second career sack.  You have seven whole tackles this year.  You’ve been beyond worthless for 90% of the snaps throughout your time in Houston.  There is no fucking reason you should be dancing about anything.  Thankfully, given your track record, we don’t have to worry about you doing anything else this season that might inspire such celebration.  Cordially, Matt

12. I miss the old, non-injured DeMeco Ryans.  I know I’ve been spoiled over the last two years, but it sucks to see him not make plays he would have made last season.  It’s cool to see him still playing his balls off, though.

13. Before Superman goes to bed, he puts on Mario Williams pajamas.

So, after stomping a mudhole in the Bengals, we are back on the verge of .500.  Even better, we are right in the mix with a whole bunch of other teams at or around 3-4.  With three division games remaining, as well as some winnable games outside the division (I’m looking at you, Chicago), we definitely control our own destiny.

We just have to beat Minnesota first.

Deconstructing Stacy - Salad Tossing Free Version

Oct 29, 2008 Fire Richard Smith, I really dig my readers, I'm a great guy--a humble guy., Might as well piss off as many religions as possible, Posts that list too many players

After the last win, Stacy said:

I may seriously incur the wrath of Durga (and the rest of you) for saying this but I would almost prefer to be losing games than for us to continue like this. Poor personnel decisions, poor coaching on the defensive side of the ball and the utter lack of sound decision making by Kubes isn’t going to change until McNair drops the hammer. If we finish the season 8-8 or 9-7, we’re gonna continue to struggle because of poor coaching. I honestly don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. The last thing I want to see is 1 or 2 more seasons pass and we’re still a bunch of underachievers. The next 2 or 3 seasons we’ll be faced with having to re-sign our marquis players and they’re not gonna be cheap. How can we afford to pay 5 or 6 really big contracts? We’re not gonna be able to. We need to start winning while we still have these players on the roster (Johnson, Williams, Ryans, Schaub, Davis, Daniels, Robinson and Slaton).

I used to have a job I really enjoyed, one that brought out both my geeky goodness and my love of the financial markets.  Unfortunately, I worked for the most complacent asshole imaginable who was unable to see change happening right before his eyes.  “My strategy is proven!” he’d yell at the top of his lungs as his strategy forced the company to layoff workers.

So, yeah, what Stacy said.  To “fisk” his comment:

Poor personnel decisions

On the offensive side of the ball, the only quibble I’ve had is the Duane Brown situation.  He is getting killed by speed rushers, and how he fares against Jared “Orphan Crusher” Allen on Sunday will tell us much about his evolution as a legitimate NFL left tackle this year.  But, if we are going to commit to him, commit.  Don’t put Ephraim Salaam out there, dammit.  But, really, that’s it.  We’re fourth in yards/game, fifth in passing/game, and eleventh in rushing/game.  Beautiful.

poor coaching on the defensive side of the ball

Defensively?  Holy mother of Durga do we not have a clue.  Where’s Frank “Evil Mastermind” Okam?  Why is Fred “Ballhawk Gamecock” Bennett on the bench in favor of Petey “Toasty Brown” Faggins?  Why am I nicknaming every player?  Why is Jeff Zgonina on the fucking roster?  These are horrible decisions, and I won’t even bother with strategy (Petey + Calvin Johnson = Touchdowns4Ever).

utter lack of sound decision making by Kubes

Let’s just get Kubiak a copy of Madden 2009 and tell him to play three full seasons with Matt and I watching.  Something has to teach him about clock management for crikey’s sake.

If we finish the season 8-8 or 9-7, we’re gonna continue to struggle because of poor coaching. I honestly don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. The last thing I want to see is 1 or 2 more seasons pass and we’re still a bunch of underachievers.

And there’s your complacency alert.

I don’t think, from a head coaching standpoint, that we can do better than Kubiak.  I don’t know of anything out there that genuinely excites me.  You know Kubiak has his hands pulling the strings on Kyle Shanahan’s play-calling, and I increasingly like what I see from that unit every week.

Defensively?  Need I bother?

I don’t think we can be a true, playoff caliber team until Richard Smith is fired.  We have far too much talent on the defensive to have only 10 combined interceptions and forced fumbles, among the worst in the league (and we got three of those against the Bungles).  Eleven sacks as a team, one which includes Mario Williams, is embarrassing.

How can we afford to pay 5 or 6 really big contracts? We’re not gonna be able to. We need to start winning while we still have these players on the roster (Johnson, Williams, Ryans, Schaub, Davis, Daniels, Robinson and Slaton).

At the end of 2008, Dunta Robinson in an unrestricted free agent (source: IntheBullseye).  David Anderson and Owen Daniels will be restricted free agents.  After 2008, will be faced with re-signing Morlon Greenwood (probably not), Chester Pitts (for the right $$), Will Demps (for the love of Bitchephant no), Kevin Walter (probably), Sage Rosencopter, Kris Brown (yes, please), DeMeco Ryans (gulp), Chaun Thompson (eh), Matt Turk (probably), Ephraim Salaam (see Pitts), Tim Bulman (DHC says yes), and DelJuan Robinson (probably).

With this roughly hewn current roster, we have 2009 and 2010 to put something together, and we should have some cap room to play with once we wipe off the Ahman Greens and Morlon Greenwoods off the books.  But until we do something about our defense, and to a certain extent our special teams, then we will be mediocrity personified.  That’s not exactly a goal I’m shooting for, personally.

Strap, God wants you on the floor.

Oct 19, 2008 Posts that list too many players, Predictions Guaranteed To Go Wrong

Look, mister, there’s… two kinds of dumb, uh… guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, uh, guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don’t matter, the second one you’re kinda forced to deal with. –George, Hoosiers

I’m pretty sure I’ve that quote here once before, but that doesn’t matter.  It was appropriate then and it’s more appropriate now.  There were two different kinds of dumb that popped up in the comments this week.  One is easily dismissed; the other not so much.

First up, Tman.  Now, look, I like Tman.  Of all the Titans fans, he seems among the least likely to have sex with a sibling or cook drugs in his bathtub.  Still, one has to wonder if he hasn’t been hitting the moonshine a bit when he said:

Is it time yet to bring up the Texans-needed-an-offensive-threat-instead-of-Mario-from-that-draft argument yet?

No?

What’s the Texans record since October 1, 2007?

Oh….ok…maybe later.

Where to begin?  Let’s start where bfd appropriately did in his response.  “We are 5th in the league in offense yardage and 10th from the bottom in defensive yardage against.”  More importantly, we were tied for 12th in the league in points scored and were in the top half in yardage per game last year, despite having Ron Dayne toting the ball and missing Andre Johnson and Matt Schaub for over half the year.  This year, as bfd points out, with Andre and Matt healthy and Stevie Wonder replacing Captain Cheesecake, we’re up to fifth.  In short, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this offense.

On the flipside, we were 24th in the league in defensive yardage last year and tied for 22nd in defensive scoring allowed.  This is despite Mario being unblockable over the last half of the year and being the most dominant defensive player in the league over that time.  Without Mario, I have no doubt that we’d have been last in both categories in 2007.

But, taking the thing a step further, it’s illogical to suggest that we needed “an offensive threat.”  The ONLY players that were realistic in terms of the first overall pick were Mario, Reggie Bush, and (maybe) Vince Young.  Had we taken Bush, we’d still need a running back, just as New Orleans has found out.  Sure, we’d have a receiving threat out of the backfield, but we have that in Slaton right now and we don’t have to take Slaton out of the game when we want to run between the tackles.

Had we taken Vince Young… well… I’m not sure how much help he’d have been pouting on the sideline and incapable of getting Andre Johnson the ball.  So…yeah.

Moving on, however, to the one “you’re kinda forced to deal with,” we get this nugget regarding the decision-making abilities of one Richard Smith (h/t James):

per rotoworld and one more reason why Richard Smith should be guillotined in public:

Texans CB Fred Bennett has fallen to fourth on the depth chart.
KC Joyner’s favorite corner is behind Jacques Reeves, “Petey” Faggins, and Dunta Robinson. Bennett still has potential and was excellent as a rookie, but hasn’t taken the next step and was burned repeatedly in the early going.

Guh.  Double guh, even.  If Fred Bennett was “burned repeatedly,” Jacques Reeves has been napalmed more than a Vietnamese village.  Yes, Bennett has struggled in his role as CB1, but the entire damn secondary has been atrocious.  Faggins might be playing his butt off right now, but he still can’t cover more than five yards downfield (i.e. the area beyond where he’s allowed to try to hold someone) and he tackles like Steven Hawking.  Reeves has yet to look for a single ball, to the point where the Colts KNEW they could go right at him on fourth down.  And they did.  Successfully.  And then they did it again in the endzone.  Dunta, god love him, is coming off that horrific injury and will play about 20 plays today, with no one totally sure how Dunta 2.0 will adapt to game situations.

So, I ask you, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN FRED BENNETT BE BEHIND ANY OF THOSE GUYS, LET ALONE ALL OF THEM?!?!?!?

The answer, of course, is that Richard Smith is the worst defensive coordinator in football and should not be allowed to make any decisions about anything.  Bennett is the only guy (not counting Dunta) in that group who has ever shown the ability to stop an NFL WR1.  But that ability doesn’t matter, apparently, because Richard Smith has decided that Bennett is struggling and needs to be benched.  While Reeves, Faggins, Brandon Harrison, and Will Demps perfect the ole` tackle technique that has proved so effective in the Texans’ secondary.

I suppose the only good news to come out of this decision is that Smith is making another move that is likely to end in his termination at the conclusion of the season.  Unfortunately, we have to WATCH the team until that time comes.  Crap.

Week 6: 8-6
Overall: 40-34

Week 7 Picks:

San Diego v. Buffalo.  If you look around the league these days, there are very few “cool” QBs.  Carson Palmer is cool.  Jason Campbell is cool, if only because of his last name.  I think Trent Edwards is pretty close to being on the list.  On the other hand, there are a TON of douchebag QBs, and Philip (one L) Rivers is at the top of that list.  Pick:  Buffalo.

New Orleans v. Carolina.  Yes, yes…Reggie has 8 TDs.  I get that.  He’s still a vag when it comes to actually running behind blockers, though.  Think about it–great as a WR/PR, where the idea is to get the ball in space and make people miss; atrocious as a RB (and mediocre as a KR), where you have to follow blockers and stick to a choreographed plan.  Whatever.  Pick: New Orleans.

Minnesota v. Chicago.  Question for the Texans/Longhorns fans in the crowd:  Do you get more irritated seeing Reggie Bush commercials or Adrian Peterson commercials?  Or does that totally depend on how the Red River Shootout Rivalry game went?  Pick: Minnesota.

Baltimore v. Miami.  You know who I can’t stand?  Guy Fieri.  Screw that guy.  Pick: Miami.

Tennessee v. Kansas City.  There is zero reason the Chiefs should even be competitive in this game (or, to be honest, this year in general).  They are inferior in every measurable way, save two—food, of course, and music.  Jazz >>> Mainstream country.  Suck it, Chesney.  Pick: Kansas City.

Pittsburgh v. Cincinnati. Big Ben?  Total douche.  And possibly retarded.  Still…pick: Pittsburgh.

San Francisco v. New York Giants.  By the end of this game, Justin Tuck will own J.T. O’Sullivan.  “SIT DOWN WHEN YOU PEE, BITCH!”  Pick: New York.

Dallas v. St. Louis.  The women in Dallas are about nine thousand times more attractive than the women in St. Louis.  Of course, the women in Joe’s House of Crackwhores are at least five times more attractive than the women in St. Louis.  Pick:  St. Louis.

Detroit v. JUGGERNAUT.  I really hope we get Detroit bottled up on their own 1- or 2-yard line today.  Not because I think Orlovsky will run out of bounds again, but because I think he’ll be so concerned with the end line that he’ll literally be looking down.  And then Mario will eat him.  Pick: Houston.

Indianapolis v. Green Bay.  Everyone who is not buying that the Colts are completely back, please raise your hand.  Everyone who is convinced that Peyton Manning has a boyfriend, please raise your hand.  Whoa…same hands.  Pick: Green Bay.

New York Jets v. Oakland.  I don’t care.  Pick: New York.

Cleveland v. Washington.  Derek Anderson?  Douchebag.  Pick: Washington.

Seattle v. Tampa Bay.  I’m trying to come up with a way that Seattle does not finish last in the NFC West.  I got nuthin’.  Pick: Tampa Bay.

Denver v. New England.  Jay Cutler?  Cool, if only because he’s convinced that he’s cool and he tells us about it at every chance.  Plus, I like ANY Bronco that will talk about how he’s better than John Elway.  Pick: Denver.

Texans stick eight forks in my eye. I politely ask for more.

Oct 1, 2008 2008 Season, Posts that list too many players, Secondary issues are primary, What the fuck?

Eric beat me to the posting punch, but this got me riled as much as LoneSpot (I kid because I love).  Via PFT:

Hamza Abdullah, Tyron Brackenridge, Courtney Bryan, Therrian Fontenot, Nick Graham, Terrence Holt, Daren Stone, and Michael Waddell each got look-sees as the Texans prepare for their 2008 home opener against a Colts team that features pass-catchers like Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison, Dallas Clark, and Anthony Gonzalez.  It’s a must-win game for both teams; the Texans are 0-3 and the Colts are 1-2.

Of course, you could be like me and think all games are must win, but that would just be dumb, right?  I mean, we WANT to lose a couple, don’t we?

But that’s not what caught my discerning eye.  Oh no.

Look, I’m not the player geek I used to be, but I still consider myself to be fairly knowledgeable about league rosters.  However, I only know much about Abdullah and Holt and a passing amount about a couple more.  In other words, we tried out who?

Abdullah actually played ahead of Nick Ferguson in Denver last year, which means something…I have no idea what.  Holt is…well, he’s CC Brown at best.  Otherwise, only Daren Stone catches my eye because he’s a huge young man.

Even if we were to sign one of these, they most likely wouldn’t see PT against the Colts, which is the good news.  The bad news is that the best of these may not be all that worse than CC.

Kickoff - Dia de los Muertos edition

Aug 29, 2008 Antwaun > Petey, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Faggination, Fluff, Kickoff, Posts that list too many players, Predictions Guaranteed To Go Wrong, Roster

Back among the living. As noted here and elsewhere, the list of the dearly departed will be read in a solemn service on Texans TV at 3:30 CST today.  In that vein, here’s my predicted roster (based on the roster makeup of the past few seasons):

QB: Matt Schaub, Sage Rosenfels
RB: Ahman Green, Steve Slaton, Vonta Leach, Chris Taylor, Darius Walker¹
WR: Andre Johnson, Kevin Walter, Andre Davis, Jacoby Jones, David Anderson
TE: Owen Daniels, Mark Bruener, Joel Dreessen
OL: Eric Winston, Kasey Studdard, Mike Brisiel, Chester Pitts, Duane Brown, Chris Myers, Chris White, Ephraim Salaam, Brandon Frye, Greg Eslinger²

DL: Mario Williams, Travis Johnson, Amobi Okoye, Anthony Weaver, Frank Okam, Earl Cochran, Tim Bulman, Deljuan Robinson, Rosevelt Colvin³, Gabe Long
LB: DeMeco Ryans, Zac Diles, Morlon Greenwood, Xavier Adibi, Kevin Bentley, Chaun Thompson⁴
CB: Fred Bennett, Jacques Reeves, Antwaun Molden, Jamar Fletcher, Petey Faggins⁵
S: Will Demps, Glenn Earl, Brandon Harrison⁶, C.C. Brown

P: Matt Turk
K: Kris Brown
LS: Brian Pittman⁷

¹I think the carrying of three TEs rather than four, plus the inherent brittleness of Ahman Green might save Darius Walker’s job.

²I would not be the least bit surprised if Rashad Butler got Eslinger’s spot.

³Could EASILY wind up being Kalu rather than Colvin, given the latter’s “play” this preseason, but I think they’ll give Rosey a chance in the regular season.

⁴I’m actually bummed about losing Ben Moffit and Kevis Coley, but I am guessing at least one gets on the PS.  Also…I…I…um…Morlon…well, you know.

⁵SHIT.

⁶Dominique Barber to PS.

⁷Seriously, Bulman and Dreessen can long snap.  Why is Bryan Pittman eating up space?

Why hast thou forsaken me? Speaking of Petey fucking Faggins, I’m beginning to suspect he has made a deal with the devil or something.  After all, how do you explain his inspired (for him) first half?

BFD offered to tutor her in fluid dynamics, but she declined.  Strange-but-true fact—Texans Cheerleader Summer is an aerospace engineer for NASA.

Deep thoughts with bfd: The D

Aug 23, 2008 BFD's Real Doll, Posts that list too many players, Uncategorized

Kent Brockman: Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it’s time for our viewers to crack each other’s heads open and feast on the goo inside?

Professor: Mmm, yes I would, Kent.

Yeah, that pretty much sums up our defense after last night.  Pissed?  Yes.  Alarmist?  Yes.  Time to panic?  Fuck yeah.

I’m gonna say it loud and not proud: Our defense sucks.  Well, why listen to me when you can see what Mario has to say (h/t Eric)?

“We’ve still got a lot of work to do,” (Mario) Williams said. “Thankfully, we’ve still got another week. We’ve just got to work together a little better, not just with the run but against the pass and play off of each other better.

“Also, studying the opponent a lot more wouldn’t hurt either. So, we’ll see.”

Richard Smith, meet bus.  Bus, crush Richard Smith.

Rosy Colvin looked like a boxer stuck in concrete last night.  I swear he wasn’t even trying to run.

Anthony Maddox could be moved by my 2-yo daughter.

Morlon Greenwood just got juked.

Jacques Reeves makes Petey Faggins look like an All-Pro.

CC Brown and Will Demps are slow and couldn’t cover my fat ass.  Good against the run, though.

Yes, I am starting to hit panic mode after just three pre-season games.  Outside of our personnel issues, Mario does not feel Richard Smith is getting this team prepared.  That just compounds our problems.

Our defense is literally centered around Mario, DeMeco, and Bennett.  An argument can be made that every other player on our team is below average versus league starters at their position.  I’m not sure I trust that to change under Smith.

Because, one can also make the argument that we have some serious untapped talent on our defense, as well.  Amobi Okoye.  Zac Diles.  Xavier Adibi.  Antwaun Molden.  Even Travis Fucking Johnson.  The cupboard is not bare by any means, but I see a defense that is literally going backwards before our eyes.

Let’s put this a different way: if the Cowfuckers would not have pulled Jessica Simpson’s wife, that game would’ve been ugly.  He was tearing us apart at will.  That’s embarrassing.

I know I’m being a panicky idiot, and that’s fine.  And I also don’t care about the rushing game one shit as long as Teh Schaub is there as he’s absolutely ripping the joint up and I can *see* improvement.  The defense, however, is playing ass-tastic.  I’m not sure the problem is with our talent, either.  I’m starting to think that ditching Smith is our first step.

I’d really like to hear what y’all think, especially as I enter panic mode.  Am I wrong?  Right?  Oddly turned on by the night stand?

Kickoff

Jul 20, 2008 2008 Season, Dancing With the 'Tards, Little Dickie Justice, Pancakes McTard, Posts that list too many players

Football?  In Texas?: It looks like the comicle writers finally remembered that it was football season and decided to stitch together a few articles for the benefit of the masses (sic).

Pancakes sez (I used quote form, but these are basically paraphrases with my comments thrown in.  Hard doing this while holding a baby):

Kubiak thinks Mario looks good.

Learning left tackle is hard and it’s a little scary having Eliza Doolittle Duane Brown out there over Ephraim Salaam.

Xavier Adibi and Antwaun Molden are both making progress.  If it is true that Molden is ahead of Fred Bennett at similar points, we have a ton to be excited about.

Most improved are: “defensive tackle Amobi Okoye, guard Kasey Studdard, safety Brandon Harrison and receiver David Anderson.”  Harrison intrigues me quite a bit.

In his blog, Pancakes sees Darius Walker as the odd man out.  Hard to disagree, but between Ahman Green and Chris Brown, injuries might settle that decision, first.

These sorts of articles are nice, but until we start seeing some pre-season action, let’s not put too much stock into these comments.

But here’s the money-maker from Pancakes this morning:

And then there are some of you who seem to think that Mario Williams is still a bust, and he stumbled into all 14 sacks that were created by other pass rushers. And you fail to point out that every pass rusher with a lot of sacks gets some of them because of their teammates. There’s nothing I can do to convince you otherwise, so I won’t try because you’re hopeless.

Seriously, you can’t make this shit up.  In fact, I think the above accurately reflects with the staff of the comicle, en masse, wrote about Mario last year.  Assholes.

Lil Dickie Justice, age 12, managed to go an entire article without mentioning Vince Young once, definitely a new record.  The article, itself, is relatively useless.

Gettin’ people inked: oiler-texan diehard poses a good question about getting our top draft picks signed.  With Jake Chris Long (seriously, doing this while holding a baby is difficult) now signed, I think we’ll start seeing the dominos fall, and we’ll hopefully get the rest of our guys in camp quickly.

bfd, you dumb: socctty makes a great point, and I will take it upon myself to become more football stats geeky this year.

Adventures in stupidity: Finally, it’s my belief that the best thing about the intertoobz is the democratization of information.  I still believe in the old Schoolhouse Rock belief that knowledge is power.  Of course, the worst thing about the non-dumptruck utilizing tubes is that anybody can post garbage on them.  As Eric said, this is the sort of post that makes Baby Jesus Buzz Bissinger cry.

Lessee here: irrational hatred of the Texans?  Check!  Functionally illiterate?  Check!  Can’t count?  Check!  Has no idea what football is or how it works?  Check and check!

Ladies and gentlement, your next Lil Dickie Justice!

(h/t to Eric for his assistance this morning)

A revised look at 4-3 defensive theory

Jun 17, 2008 2008 Season, Broken Record, Colvin, Curious Coaching, DeMeco Ryans, Dunta Robinson, Football 101, I love defensive football, Morlon Greenwood, Okam's Razor, Posts that list too many players, Rendhel and Sid, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Fred, Will Demps makes love to the...ladies?

Because two of my good friends are Giants and Redskins fans, respectively, I find myself engaged in more conversations about NFC East football that one would expect for a Texans fan. However, because I am obsessed with defensive football–especially defensive line play–I actually enjoy these chats and, more often than not, come away with some new ideas about our team.

Anyway, one idea that we’ve been kicking around lately is that the Texans should run a variation on the Eagles’ defense because (a) our personnel is tailor-made for such a system and (b) that system would allow our front seven to protect the weaknesses in our back four, just like it did for the Super Bowl Champion Giants.  Sounds good, no?

Let me back up a bit, though, and lay this out. Back in late October of last season, I wrote a long post advocating, first, that we blitz, and, second, that we come up with some creative fronts and utilize the zone blitz more often.

2b. So, then…how should we go about blitzing (other than with the aforementioned proper use of the WLB)? The answer is simple: the zone blitz

[4-3 defense 102 here. Feel free to skip ahead.]

The idea behind the zone blitz is two-fold. First, duh, create pressure. Second, however, it tries to confuse the offense’s blocking calls by sending any of the three linebackers (or, occasionally, a safety) while someone else fills the space left by the vacating backer. In that way, the defense does not lose the extra hands in coverage, but should still be able to get penetration because the offensive line will not know where the blitz is coming from on a given play.

For example, the zone blitz allows the MLB to blitz through the A-gap, while the nose tackle stunts over through the B-gap. In coverage, the WLB fills the space vacated by the MLB and the RDE drops back and out into the space that WLB would fill in a standard two deep zone. So, when the QB sees the MLB attack, his natural reaction is to look to throw at where the blitz came from (or, if he’s guessing that the WLB will fill, to where the WLB came from), only to find the ball thrown right at a defender.

Then, on the very next play, with the very same package, the team could go with a more traditional WLB blitz, but have the RDE slide back to fill. We saw this play once or twice in the preseason with Shantee Orr lined up outside the RDE and it was effective.

An added bonus of blitzing out of a two-deep zone is that it allows our best defensive player to make even more of an impact on the game. DeMeco Ryans has two sacks this season, both of which have come on a straight blitz. On both plays, he came more or less untouched (one against Harrington late in the game when we decided to actually play D and the one last week where he nearly killed Kerry Collins) because he was allowed to read the offensive line and choose between the A- and B-gap and he smacked the QB right in the mouth. He has also been asked to run blitz a couple times and he’s found success there. So, if we start using him on some zone blitzes, teams will have to account for him more. Meaning that blitzes from other positions–say Danny Clarkstunting over the LDE with Morlon Greenwood dropping back to the middle and DeMeco filling the space where the SLB would normally be–a team throwing over the blitz would be throwing the ball right at our best defensive weapon. Likewise, letting DeMeco creep up and show blitz, especially if he’d already had success, would create more chances for the d-linemen on either side of him to get ignored by an overzealous o-lineman. And so on, and so forth.

[/4-3 Defense 102]

I cannot state this strongly enough. Blitzing is a necessity when you have 1/4th of a real secondary.Zone blitzing allows for our strong front seven to create mismatches while still keeping two or three extra bodies in coverage and allowing our best defensive player to better impact the game. While you cannot necessarily use the zone blitz on every down (it becomes less effective at some point), how is this not a better option than dropping the three LBs, relying entirely on your front four for any pressure on the QB, and watching the QB have time to locate and throw at Petey Faggins?

3. Why do we use our front four in such a vanilla manner?

Just like you can’t run the zone blitz on every defensive snap, if you do anything over and over, eventually everyone in the NFL will know your tendencies. (By “eventually,” I mean “by next week.”) Right now, we have the same formulaic defensive line positions. Mario at RDE on running plays, Mario at LDE on passing plays, blah blah blah.

Why?

First of all, backing up a step, why when Mario moves to LDE–a move I really, really like–do the tackles not flip-flop so that Amobi Okoye is not beside Mario? We’ve covered this before. Yes, I am fully aware that Amobi has four sacks and that, on three of those, Mario is clearly occupying at least two blockers. That’s all well and good, but, like we said before, it’s not really the highest, best use of their talents. Flipping Amobi puts your two-gap, big-bodied tackle between Mario and Okoye. It is this player’s goal to pick up two blockers, which means that either Amobi or Mario (or, possibly, both) would draw single blocking more often than not. Meaning, oh I don’t know, that we would get more consistent penetration from both sides of the line.

But, back to where we started question 3: why even have a definite set order for your defensive linemen? I mean, sure, if you are going to have set positions based on down and distance, then for god’s sake, do it correctly within the constraints of the 4-3. But do you really even have to have set positions? Right now, you have Mario Williams who, though Richard Justice would disagree, is actually playing very well [This sentence is hilarious in retrospect. --Ed.]. You have Amobi Okoye, who is playing the pass-rush role as well as we hoped and playing the running game better than we hoped. AND you have Travis Johnson who is just playing some inspired football right now, hustling, hitting people, and playing like you would hope a first-round DT would [Did I really write that? Jeez. --Ed.]. That’s three real pass rushers, plus we haven’t even touched on Kalu,Weaver, Maddox, etc.

With that kind of ability up front, why become so predictable that teams can game plan and negate some of the advantage you have? Mix it up a little. Go big on one play and have Mario, Maddox, Johnson, and Amobi from left to right. Next time out, go with your more traditional base. Then turn around and go small (relatively speaking) with Mario, Okoye, Cochran, and Orr [Replace "Orr" with "Colvin" or "Thompson" --Ed.]. Create a mismatch by putting Mario at under tackle and then having him twist-stunt with Weaver lined up at DE. The possibilities are vast…if you will just use them.

Note: I am fully aware that Mario moved around a lot last year and that some of the coaching staff thought that might have been his “problem.” You know, rather than just having an injured foot and being a rookie at a tough position. That’s all well and good, but setting up your front so that he is guaranteed to get doubled on every single play is hardly the answer.

I guess the bigger point here for question three is JUST DO SOMETHING. Don’t keep running out there with a predictable front four rotation, no blitz packages to speak of, and a secondary that can’t cover for as long as you are asking them to. DO SOMETHING.

The great thing about the 4-3 is the balance. But that balance is in terms of playing the run versus playing the pass, meaning you still have to play to the strengths of your D. Consistency in game planning will always equal regression in the NFL; worse, consistently planning in the same incorrect manner will always equal failure.

While a number of you bought into my arguments, there were a good number who argued that “we’d blitz if we could” and “Richard Smith is doing the best he can with what he has.”  Of course, my whole argument was that, no he wasn’t, but that’s beside the point.  The point is the team did start blitzing the very next week (I know you are reading this, Smith!) and did so with success, I might add.  Unfortunately, it never really got into the idea of true zone blitzing or, more importantly, blitzing teams with high-octane offenses (read: the Colts game) and there was little or no creativity shown in our alignments and packages.

Now, I still stand by my assertions that my approach to the defense would work and work well given our roster.  However, upon further review, I see that there is an even better approach we could take.

Which brings us to the Eagles’ scheme.  And, even better, brings us to an Xs and Os breakdown of said scheme.

The Eagles ostensibly run a 4-3 defense.  Their system differs from the standard 4-3, though, in a number of ways, all of them significant.

1. The Outside Linebackers. Instead of having a true SLB and WLB, they make the two OLBs interchangeable in terms of responsibilities and positioning. Using these fungible LBs, on nearly every play one of the OLBs rotates up, creating a five-man front and showing blitz while the other rotates back, creating additional space between himself and the line.  Despite being on the line, however, there is no guarantee that that linebacker will blitz; the Eagles will sometimes bring the other OLB, a CB, a safety, or nobody at all (though bringing no one is rare–the Eagles blitz almost 65% of the time), with the up linebacker dropping into coverage either by hitting a specified zone or by picking up the TE or RB or FB in man coverage.

On the other hand, there will obviously be times when the up linebacker does blitz.  In this system, though, he might be joined in the rush by the other OLB, by either corner, or (one of the Eagles’ favorite moves) by the safety.  Or maybe he’s joined by two or three of those guys.  Or maybe you think he’s going to be joined by the safety, only to find the safety back in coverage right as you release the ball…see where I’m going with this?

Another facet of the Philly scheme is that OLB speed is not as important as instincts and the ability to get where you need to be in coverage. This is not to say that speed isn’t an asset–of course it is. Rather, it just means that a player like Greenwood who has shown great instincts (see, e.g., the Atlanta game when he realized Faggins had blown the underneath coverage and tried to get there from his spot on the edge) becomes more  valuable in this system. 

2. The Middle Linebacker. The Eagles’ system simultaneously limits the MLB and gives him greater freedom to impact the game, which sounds illogical but isn’t.  In your standard 4-3, the MLB generally reads the offensive line and the FB and then flows to a hole, whether that hole is in the A-gap or all the way out in the D-gap. But his flow to the hole is limited by his added responsibility of maintaining interior defensive positioning until he is sure there is no cut-back run.  Only after making all of the proper reads is your MLB free to use his speed and be the sideline-to-sideline playmaker.  

In the Philly scheme, the MLB has two responsibilities–the A-gaps–because all of the other holes are filled with rushing bodies. If the play goes away from these gaps, the MLB’s defined responsibilities are done and he is freed to roam the field, ad-lib, and create plays, meaning that he doesn’t have to have the same great recovery speed that the standard 4-3 MLB does.  It is this simultaneous limiting and freeing that makes someone like Jeremiah Trotter a dominant MLB in this system; ask him to play sideline-to-sideline like a typical 4-3 MLB as they did in Washington and he sucks immensely, but put him in Philly where he only has to play the A-gaps and he’ll consistently get 100 solo tackles and 3-5 sacks a year.

3. Defensive Line Theory. In Philly’s scheme, the only player in the front seven who has true two-gap responsibility is the Nose Tackle, and even he only has to do it every once in a while.  (The MLB is responsible for two gaps, but they are really just the same gap on either side of the center and not a two-gap responsibility in the same sense that the NT has.) Now, on the face of it, that is not so different from a standard 4-3. The devil is in the details, though.

A typical 4-3 is a read-and-react defense for everyone except a blitzer (and, really, even he is supposed to do this).  Now, while the linemen in a 4-3 only have one gap responsibility, the difference between their one-gap requirements and Philly’s DL one-gap requirements is one of intent and initial movement. For example, in the read-and-react approach, his primary responsibility is to read the lineman blocking him because, while he has C- or D-gap (depending on alignment and shift) requirements as well as contain, he has to remain in position to go either direction with respect to his blocker–on an inside run, he has to be able to shed the block and crash down; on an outside run, he needs to get free of the block and seal the edge. To do this successfully, the lineman must stand his blocker up and stay square with him long enough to read the play and react to it (hence the name).

In an attacking, Philly-style system, which is a one-gap attacking approach, the first responsibility for the DE as well as all the other lineman is to get 1.5 to 2 yards upfield, then flow to the ball. What this means in practice (assuming perfect execution) is, in a read-and-react D, every lineman stands his blocker up, then flows along the face of the blockers down the line of scrimmage to the ball, while, in an attacking one-gap system, the defensive linemen get behind the blockers and then flow (or, more accurately, crash) to the ball.

As a quick aside, obviously, each system will have its flaws and benefits. The read-and-react defense expect the linebackers to make most of the tackles, which means consistent positive yardage for the opposing team, yet it also gives you a safety net of a clogged line and three backers moving to the ball. The attacking defense runs a risk of giving up the big play if the linemen or LBs miss their tackles, but it also gives you a near certainty of consistently stopping the opposition for no gain or a loss.

A second difference in D-line theory between the two schemes is movement of the front four by way of stunts and whatnot. Because it is a one-gap system, the linemen are freed to do any number of a variety of stunts so long as the movement ends with one of them in each gap. While such stunts are theoretically possible in a standard 4-3, you can’t do it too much when the DTs may have multiple gaps or when you are worried about breaking contain on the outside. When you are sending the house on a blitz, however, all that matters is (a) that a body ends up in each of the gaps and (b) that you can count on your MLB to make tackles on anyone who comes thru the A gaps or slips around the edge (which goes back to the freedom of the MLB’s responsibilities).

4. Coverage. Much like the front seven, the coverage in a Philly scheme is incredibly fluid. If you watch the Eagles (or the Giants, who are actually a better comparison given their lack of a super secondary), the coverage calls might change two or three times before the ball is snapped. An initial coverage is called based on down and distance. Once the offense breaks its huddle, the coverage is changed if necessary to account for the personnel and the formation. Even better, the coverage can change on the fly after the ball is snapped. So, while the Cover 2 (which is pretty much a one-gap system up front) has players moving to specified zones and has some discrete coverage schemes within the larger system, the Philly system moves seamlessly from zone to man to zone again.

I just re-read that paragraph and it is not overly clear. By way of an incredibly simplistic example (that doesn’t account for some coverage variables): In the Philly system, assume the defense has called a 5-man blitz based on the offense’s personnel of two WR and two TE on third-and-long and that the OLB who has rotated up to the line is supposed to cover one tight end, the nickel corner is coming on the blitz, and the other OLB is picking up the second TE. Now, presnap, the offense shifts the second TE out wide, so the coverage audibles for the third CB to pick up the second TE and the OLB who was going to pick up that TE to blitz. At the snap, the TE who was to be picked up by the up linebacker stays in to block, so that OLB instantly becomes a blitzer as well.  You’ve gone from a 5-man corner blitz to a 6-man two-LB blitz without changing your alignment or your package. By bringing out the extra TE, the offense has caused more blitzers to come.  That’s some beautiful stuff right there–it’s the beauty of the system that, should the defense recognize the initial blitz and audible into something else, your system accounts for that by changing your blitz altogether.

The second part of the scheme is that it does not pigeonhole your coverage into a certain system. So often, teams that run a Cover 2 design their blitzes based on the principles and assignments of the Cover 2. You will almost never see them come with a safety blitz because that leaves a hole in the coverage they are comfortable running and it is impossible to disguise from the Cover 2 alignment. A corner blitz is disguiseable because the CBs line up on the line, but it requires an OLB to cheat out and cover the area where the corner vacated, which is always dangerous.

But, as Philly showed against New England and Dallas last year, their system doesn’t force you into any specific pass defense. Against the Pats, the Eagles blitzed constantly, from all sorts of angles, and played straight up man coverage behind it and very nearly won that game. In the first half against the Cowboys, Philly again brought extra rushers, but alternated between man and zone behind it. Then, in the second half, they continued to show blitz on every play, but dropped everyone into coverage. The first half pressure had gotten to Romo, though, and he could not find a rhythm even when the blitz didn’t come.

Underlying each of these differences are the basic tenets of the system–create confusion by showing lots of different looks pre-snap and by bringing pressure from all sorts of locations, never let the offense know who is coming or how many are coming (anywhere from 5-8, but more than 4 about 2/3 of the time), and plug every hole while confusing the O-line and causing them to make mistakes. Basically, it’s an offensive take on defense: an attempt to create plays rather than reacting to what the offense is doing. Get upfield, and then play football.

How Does This Apply To Us?

Which brings us to the point of this post. Namely that your Houston Texans possess enough talent and flexibility in their front seven to run a modified version of this system and run it well.

Our defensive line would thrive in the one-gap approach. Imagine telling Mario Williams and even Anthony Weaver, “ok, first we want you to just get in the backfield, then worry about where the ball is.” Could anyone stop Mario in that situation if he didn’t have to react to the play before choosing a lane? Hell, could any TWO people consistently stop him in that situation? I think not. Weaver, likewise, would thrive because he would not have to react to left tackles–something he lacks the speed to do consistently–as much as just beat them off the line and get past them on whatever line he wants. Amobi and Frank Okam on the inside would also be fantastic in this scheme–you wouldn’t be asking two young players to read the play and their blockers. Amobi has already shown a nose for the ball, so you’d be telling him to follow those instincts. And Okam would actually be better than anything Philly uses on the inside–both of their starting DTs are much smaller than he is–and as the only two-gapper would have the girth to really eat up the blockers in his path. Hell, this system would even make Travis Johnson valuable again as the backup for both tackle positions. Love him or hate him (and I did both last year), his biggest problem is that he’s too small to really be a two-gap NT. This system would make him just put his head down and go upfield rather than trying to take on two blockers, so you could spell Okam with him when you didn’t need a two-gapper at all, or Johnson could back up Okoye. Oh, and Rosie Colvin? He could be the second D-end in nickel situations because, like Weaver, his success would not depend on being able to react and beat a LT. Much like Mathias Kiwanuka was for the Giants, he would be the pin-your-ears-back rusher in pure passing downs.

Like I said way back up there, this defense would make Greenwood even better than he has been for us. (And he has been very good, but that’s a whole other article.) Opposite him, it would make life both easier and more fun for Zac Diles–he would be freed from playing the standard run-stopping role of the SLB and would be allowed to use his speed and ability more freely. Plus, you are simplifying the game for a young guy learning a new position because you are giving him specific assignments–rotate up and blitz, rotate up and cover the TE (but blitz if he tries to block you), rotate back and cover the TE/RB, rotate back and blitz. Simple, straightforward.  You could also sub in Chaun Thompson in pure passing downs if you thought he was a better blitzer than Diles because teams would then assume he was coming, even when he wasn’t.

I’ve mentioned the Giants a few times through this thing as a more apt comparison for us and a better model to build from. This is because the Eagles have one piece that we do not have–Brian Dawkins.  Dawkins role in the Philly system is manifold: he is an additional linebacker, he plans man-up on WRs, he blitzes, and he patrols the deep middle. We don’t have a player that can do that unless and until Dunta comes back as a FS.  (Which would be amazingly perfect for this system.) The Giants don’t have the dominating safety, nor do they really have an impressive secondary, but they run a version of this same Philly defense up front (Steve Spagnolo is from the Philly organization) and they won the Super Bowl with it! All without a great secondary.  Sound familiar?

The important thing is, if you lack the physical presence of a Brian Dawkins, you have to have a safety back there who is smart enough to make the right reads for the coverage. For the Super Bowl Champion Giants, it was Gibril Wilson. For us, it could just as easily be Will Demps, who might not be Dawkins but is a smart, instinctive safety nonetheless.  In fact, to paraphrase my buddy Rendhel, the Giants have not had a great secondary in years, but they always have a good defense because they understand the value of pressuring the QB.  When they got Spagnolo and the Philly system, they took this appreciation of pressure to a new level.

Right now, we don’t have a very good secondary, but we seem to also lack the proper appreciation for just how much QB pressure can improve the coverage. Jacques Reeves is blindingly fast, meaning he could come on corner blitzes. But he could also stay with anyone in the league for two or three seconds. It’s when you start asking him to cover longer that he becomes a liability. Fred Bennett is an instinctive young player and will probably become pretty good, but he has still shown that he can be beat if you ask him to cover too long–why not remove that liability more often than not?

I could go on and on, but the point is that we have the personnel to do this and we have first-hand evidence that this kind of defense turns an otherwise non-spectacular team into a playoff team and a real contender. Unfortunately, we also have a defensive coordinator who wouldn’t blitz at all until around Halloween and then backed of his blitzing any time it stumbled a bit. That is the absolute worst attitude a d-coordinator can have.  Now, maybe the presence of Ray Rhodes (phormer Philly coach!) will give Smith the testicular fortitude to at least be more aggressive. I can dream, I guess. Because, until we get a new coordinator or our coordinator gets a new outlook, this post is nothing but navel gazing to a disgusting degree.

Like always, though, just because they won’t do it, doesn’t mean I am wrong.

Kickoff

Jun 11, 2008 2008 Season, Barbaro is dead, Colvin, Kickoff, Posts that list too many players

Another busy day IRL, so off to the races.

Papabear > BFD: Well, which isn’t much of a surprise to my wife.  Placing a player on the Physically Unable to Perform (PUP) list does *not* excuse said player from the 80-man roster heading into training camp.  So, this could be the end-game for Barbaro Spencer as a Texan.  There’s always the possibility we re-sign him after other cuts during camp, but teams with a more shallow depth pool would almost certainly be interested.  There are some lessons to be learned here, one of which is that knee injuries, even with all the science and technology, are still not always curable.  Dunta, ear-muffs.

Colvin: Not much new on the Rosy Colvin front.  It’s nice that Rick Smith has a relationship with Colvin and his lawyer.  And Smith did give Andre Davis, who shares lawyers with Colvin, that nice big shiny contract.  And those strippers I hired to dance for Rosy should help.  But, all that said, if the battle is between the Texans and the Dolts, the best thing we can do is sell how competitive we’ll be.

Chris Taylor still gets you stoned: Following up last week’s warm and fuzzy article about Tim Bulman, the latest entry is about Chris Taylor by Brooke Bentley.  I realize I’m kind of an asshole when it comes to stories like this, and I think it’s more a matter of me, ummmmm, being an asshole rather than the work itself.  And, you know, Brooke isn’t bad.

These are the human interest stories that warm the deepest cockles of my heart.  I spent a lot of time around athletes during school doing interviews and stories just like this.  The fact is, there are a lot of hard-working, great guys who just don’t cut it.  RIght now, in my glass is completely empty mind-set, it…well, it makes me sad.  I was never really able to callous myself against watching athletes fall short of their dreams.  /cathartic moment

Even in the article, Taylor is mentioned as the #5 running back.  I think, again sadly, he missed a huge chance last year.  Unless Chris Brown or Ahman Green fall apart (I think we’re only missing Lorenzo White, Lu Blue, and Pink in our backfield), which is possible, Taylor’s best chance is to beat out Darius Walker for that fourth spot.  Of course, now we can expect a warm and fuzzy about Walker to make me want to root for him!

Bulman: Excellent article by Chris at HoustonDiehards about the Bulman situation.  And, no, I don’t think Bulman will make the team for the reasons broken down by Chris.  As Chris mentions, if it comes down to one of “Tim Bulman, N.D. Kalu, Earl Cochran, or Anthony Maddox,” I think Bulman would rank last on the list.  If we sign Colvin, it’ll muddy that picture even more.  Still, this is a must read article by Chris.

Oh, and for the bet?  A pitcher and nachos on the loser.  I don’t mean pour a pitcher of beer on the loser - that would be alcohol abuse.

OTAs Day 7

May 30, 2008 2008 Season, Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, Chaun, Gary Kubiak, I really dig my readers, Kevin Bentley, Morlon Greenwood, Posts that list too many players, Preseason 2008, President Lyndon Veins Johnson, Vince Young can't read this post, Xman

You must forgive me.  All these years being a sports fan has made me more than a little calloused when it comes to quotes during camps.  I mean, when was the last time you heard a player say something along the lines of:

“The team is a bunch of assholes.  There’s no chemistry at all, and our team is fucked.”

Nope, doesn’t happen.  What we do get is the usual:

“Oh, man, it’s been great. I’ve got great coaches. I’ve got great teammates…

Basically, the linebackers are just all a brotherhood. The whole team is a brotherhood but the linebackers especially, we’re real tight, real close, and if anybody needs help on anything, we’re always there to help each other out.”

Awwwww, isn’t that sweet?  The quote is courtesy of Chaun Thompson, one of our off-season additions (quotes courtesy HoustonTexans.com).

But, wait a minute, is this a little nugget right here?

(on if LB Chaun Thompson will work with the defensive line) “Yeah, once we get going in camp, he’ll go down with (defensive line coach) Jethro (Franklin) and (senior defensive assistant) Frank (Bush) to work on some pass-rush skills and those types of things. He shows the ability to do that, but the thing we don’t want to do is hurt him at linebacker because he’s very competitive in our situation at linebacker right now and I don’t want to take away from that.” - Gary Kubiak, again from HoustonTexans.com

When you consider the depth we have at linebacker - DeMonster, Morlon Greenwood, and Zac Diles as starters with Xavier Adibi, Kevin Bentley, and one of several including UDFA signee Ben Moffitt (h/t 1Texan) as backups - we have some pretty damn good depth at linebacker.  Even if Thompson sees time at LB, it could be in *gasp* blitz packages.  There’s one important thing to remember about Thompson: he’s one extremely fast dude.  Instead of trying to force his talents into a system like the Browns did, it looks like the hometown heroes signed him because he fits our system.

And, frankly, anything that keeps Anthony Weaver off the field until he proves he can collect a single sack is a good thing.

Finally, we all know I’m a University of Texas grad and still live in Austin, right?  OK, well…

Vince Young a couple of days ago:

I really thought long and hard about it,” Young said on Thursday after practice. “There was so much going on with my family. It was crazy being an NFL quarterback. It wasn’t fun anymore. All of the fun was out of it. All of the excitement was gone. All I was doing was worrying about things.

Vince Young yesterday (h/t Eric):

“Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I ain’t never said I was going to quit football,” Young said. “There was a lot of stuff going on in my life, but football is not hard to me. Football is easy. All you have to do is be coachable and use your God-given talent. If it was a thought at all it was just a passing thought for a second.”

You know, I really have no problem with what Ricky Williams did.  Hell, if I could get stoned and travel the world instead of working, I would do that in a second.  But Vince?  Yeah, just, wow.

Okam? Damn near killed ‘im!

Apr 29, 2008 2008 Draft, 2008 Season, Alex Gibbs, Aqib Talib is a shitbag and we don't want him, Huh?, Okam's Razor, Posts that list too many players, Roster, The Fred, Xman

I love to quote myself as an authority in later conversations. It really disorients the listener and, if you are engaged in a debate of some sort, bolsters your own cred and you current argument at the same time. It works in pretty much any discussion.

“Man, Pacino is a much better actor than DeNiro.” “Actually, as I noted just two weeks ago, DeNiro’s range makes him a much better actor than Pacino.”

“I love creamy peanut butter.” “Interesting, but are you aware that I stated over a year ago that crunchy peanut butter is the bee’s knees?”

“You suck.” “Have you considered my findings of 4/12/06 that you are a shiteating cockrag?”

Anyway, with that in mind, I won’t be grading this year’s draft in any sort of conventional sense. Because, as I said in this blog’s inaugural post,

Speaking of “grading” the drafts, let me just say that I find the whole process asinine. The two most important things in a draft should be (a) filling needs and (b) taking the best available player to fill those needs (with an eye on not drafting a player too early). Unfortunately, most people seem to grade the draft by guessing what the drafted players will do in the NFL. Teams that get the Can’t Miss players automatically “score” higher. But, for every Reggie Bush, there are multiple Can’t Miss guys like Robert Gallery, Charles Rogers, and Joey Harrington. Even more to the point, there are plenty of guys in this and every draft taken after the first round or two who will become stars. So, when Kiper says that the Raiders did well because they got a “franchise QB” in JaMarcus Russell, he’s talking out of his ass. Which probably also has fantastically groomed hair.

I stand by that; grading a draft is stupid because it assumes you know what players are going to do. Or you are simply giving the best grades to the teams who got more of the players you rated highly beforehand, which is also stupid. So, aside from my esteemed co-blogger, who I would totally make out with if we weren’t both straight guys, anyone who grades a draft can go die in a fire.

What I will do, however, is offer a completely biased, utterly unscientific ranking of the players into categories of my own choosing. This is not a draft grade, it’s an arms race, ho. Or something like that.

Player Whose Selection I Absolutely Love:

Xavier Adibi–Well before people started declaring for the draft, Adibi was on my shortlist of LBs possibly coming out (along with Laurinitis and Beckwith). I even watched four VaTech games solely to keep an eye on him. So, yeah, you could say I am thrilled about this pick. He has insane lateral speed, a great nose for the ball, and I don’t think I ever saw him give up on a play. Plus, he knocks the shit out of people, seemingly just for fun sometimes. I dare say that, if he becomes the player I think he will, a trio of Adibi, Greenwood, and DeJesus gives us one of the best LB units in the league. At worst, his selection will push Zach Diles to become a better OLB, so it’s kind of win-win. In fact, the only person this selection is probably bad news for is Kevin Bentley–I don’t see us breaking camp with six linebackers and my guess is that we’ll take Adibi, DeMeco, Greenwood, Diles, and Thompson. (This is subject to change if BFD’s “Thompson as DE” theory pans out.)

Players Whose Selections Make Me Excited In A Non-Sexual Way:

Frank Okam–While I think BFD might be throwing out the ultimate absolute best-case scenario when he likens Okam to Shaun Rogers, I am a big fan of Frank. Given that I basically screamed for a NT non-stop over the last three months, getting a really bright guy who is 6′4″/350 and runs a 5.32 is like a dream come true. I am not buying the “move him to guard” talk for a second, as Okam is immediately the best NT prospect we have. Yes, that includes you, Trav, you underwhelming fuckhole. Anyway, getting Okam in Day 2 more than makes up for not getting Balmer with our first rounder in my book. Plus, I honestly think that his presence makes Amobi and Mario better this year, which should frighten the sweet tap-dancing Christ out of opposing QBs.

Steve Slaton–The thing that really excites me about Slaton is that I think we got a great bargain where we picked him. If you harken back to, say, August 2007, Slaton and Brian Brohm were talked about as early Heisman favorites. Now, neither had the season to back that up, but–in Slaton’s case, at least–I don’t think that’s entirely his fault. That WVU team had so many weapons in the backfield that I feel safe in assuming Steve merely got lost in the shuffle. Once Pat White started dominating with his legs in the spread, Slaton’s role was diminished and it was further hurt by the impact of Noel Devine and Owen Schmitt. *takes another sip of the Kool-Aid* Regardless of whether I am indulging in wishful thinking, one thing is for sure: Slaton is the potential homerun threat that we haven’t had since…um…ever.

Players Whose Selections Do Not Make Me Want To Kill Someone:

Antwaun Molden–We needed a CB according to many people and, other than DR-C (side note: Fuck you to death, Arizona), I wasn’t really wanting to take one with our first-round pick after overpaying Frenchy Reeves. So getting Molden answered both of my wishes with respect to this position. As others have more descriptively detailed, Molden is a physical corner and is a workout warrior. Reminds me of a certain Gamecock we drafted last year.

Dominique Barber– The only reason I don’t dislike this pick is because I am all for some good, old fashioned competition in the safety corps during this year’s camp. I’ve never been much of a fan of C.C. Brown or Glenn Earl, so bringing in more bodies to up the level that people will have to perform is all right by this guy.

Player Whose Selection Will Only Be Acceptable If Accompanied By A Pro Bowl Selection:

Duane Brown–Look, I’ve read all the explanations for taking him. For the record, I like this one from Chris the best. But here’s my problem with this pick: the beauty of the ZBS is that in all the years Gibbs has been doing it, he’d only taken an offensive lineman once in the first round.

Another consistent thing about Gibbs’ teams–more often than not, they don’t take offensive linemen early in the draft. In 1984, the first o-lineman they took was in Round 8 (Winford Hood). In 1985, Round 5 (Billy Hinson). In 1986, Round 4 (Jim Juriga–this one is misleading, though, because the fourth round was the first pick Denver had). In 1987, Round 8 (Dan Morgan). In 1995, Round 4 (Jamie Brown). In 1996, Round 7 (Leslie Ratliff). In 1997, Round 3 (Dan Neil). In 1998, Round 7 (Trey Teague). In 1999, Round 2 (Lennie Friedman). In 2000, Round 4 (Cooper Carlisle). In 2001, Round 4 (Ben Hamilton). In 2002, they didn’t draft one. Finally, in 2003, Round 1 (George Foster).

When he went to Atlanta, the trend continued. 2004–didn’t draft one. 2005–Round 5 (Frank Omiyale). 2006–Round 5 (Quinn Ojinnaka).

Look at those names for a second.  Presumably, these are all guys that Gibbs was “really high on,” yet only one of them warranted a first-round selection.  By taking Brown in the first round, Gibbs must be saying that Brown is such a perfect fit for his system that Gibbs absolutely could not take the chance of not getting him.  In short, Brown must be the ultimate archetype of a ZBS lineman.  Or at least as much of an archetype as George Foster was.
Yeah…

Anyway, that’s not the reason the selection pissed me off so much.  If Brown really is designed for the ZBS, that’s great.  But the question is whether he’s better at LT than Mendenhall would have been at RB.  Or Jenkins would have been at corner.  Sure, we got Slaton and Molden, which definitely eases the sting a bit, but if Brown falls on his face (or even if Mendenhall and Jenkins thrive elsewhere while Brown is just average), there is going to be a huge “what if Gibbs had just stuck to his pattern and not reached for Brown” hanging over the pick.

Player Whose Selection Suggests Kubiak Must Owe Alex Brink’s Dad A Favor:

Alex Brink–Seriously…what the fuck?

BFD’s take on the Texans’ 2008 Draft - the first time, at least…

Apr 27, 2008 2008 Draft, 2008 Season, Alex Gibbs, BFD's Real Doll, Broken Record, Chaun, DRC, Duane Brown as Eliza Doolittle, I really dig my readers, Jacoby Jones is unheralded, Morlon Greenwood, Posts that list too many players

Well, it’s all done but the crying. I gotta admit that I’m still disappointed that we lost out on DRC (note to self: do a better job discrediting who we want next year), and I will forever hate the Cards because of it. Or something. That said, I’m gonna throw up (sic) some grades for our draft this year, and I would love to hear your feedback. I’m not going to do any purposeful agitating a la Little Dickie Justice, age 12. I’m going to try and be as honest as possible with my subjectivity and objectivity.

1st Round (#26 overall): Duane Brown, LT, Virginia Tech.  I originally wasn’t too excited, and then I slipped quickly into acceptance. Considering he was taken with the 26th pick of the 1st Round, it’s definitely an over-draft. That we traded back eight places and still got the guy we allegedly wanted the entire time earns some points, though. For now, it’s a bit of a wash on the good and bad, and I am still worried about his ability to have a short-term impact on the team, so I will go with a Grade B. No, not great. I think it’s average right now, and it’s a full grade higher because of the trade down and acquisition of additional picks. Mr. Brown and Smithiak are certainly welcome to make me eat that grade, however.

3rd Round #1 (#79 overall): Antwaun Molden, CB, Eastern Kentucky. curtisdisco had some good things to say about Molden at BRB, and if you check out the entire thread, the guy is definitely a work-out fiend. Seriously, the guy seems to be a slightly lesser version of DRC: small school and huge combine numbers. Considering what the guy has had to deal with as a human, and how *pissed* he was at his badass workouts, I am prepared to go JJ on him. Grade B+.

3rd Round #2 (#89 overall): Steve Slaton, RB, West Virginia. I do worry he’ll be a Chris Perry at the highest level due to his size and seeming inability to run between the tackles, but he definitely has game-changing ability. Used in the proper role, I can see him excelling. Grade B+. I do think we need to set realistic expectations that he is not a true #1 RB, but I have no problem with that, either.

4th Round (#118 overall): Xavier Adibi, OLB, Virginia Tech. Here’s my take…so, we didn’t take a DE in this draft, yet I believe it to be a serious area of need. We signed Chaun Thompson, who could line-up at DE as a serious speed rusher. Yes, that’s where I am going with this. Chaun will see a lot of time opposite Mario at DE, and I have absolutely no problem with this. Chaun *is* 6′2″, 250lbs, so he’s not terribly undersized. But if he can become a demon off the outside, yeah, I’m liking this.

As for Adibi, as I said previously, I see a lot of Morlon Greenwood. Others in the Draft Thread said DeMeco, but that’s a little too far for me. And again with the b0ng hit of Adibi. He’ll definitely challenge Zach Diles and Kevin Bentley at SAM. An interesting pick with some seriously high upside. Grade A-. As stupid as this may sound, if any of our picks have a big impact in 2008, I think it’s most likely to be Adibi.

5th round (#151 overall): Frank Okam, DT, The University of Texas at Austin…bitchez. Yes, an alum from my beloved alma mater. And, yes, I am super-excited about this pick (though not as excited as Tim). He has a first-class body, a top-of-the-class mind, but he has the motor of a moped. He also needs some serious work on his technique. The worst thing about him is his ability to disappear for stretches, but when he’s on, he’s Shaun Rogers good (when his engine is running, of course).

Going into the 2007 season, I thought Okam would be a legit 1st round pick. That he slid is more of an indictment of the motor, technique, and (oh yeah!) conditioning than it is anything else. A motivated Okam would be an absolute steal and the acquisition of a 1st rounder in the 5th. Grade A-.

6th round (#173 overall): Dominique Barber, S, Minnesota. I just don’t understand this pick. We took Molden, we have enough DBs to hold up against Andre Ware, and we took the slowest S on the board? I mean, I think even I could hang with this guy in the 40 (20 years ago). Look, he may be Marion’s brother, but I hate that SOB. Grade D.

7th round (#223 overall): Alex Brink, QB, Washington State. I watched only about half of one WSU game this year, and I don’t have much of an image of Brink. He’s mobile but smallish, and he definitely has a “West Coast Offense” kinda arm, which means it ain’t the strongest. I will reiterate that I believe that Kubiak carries three QBs on the active roster, and Brink will be practice squad fodder. Grade who cares.

Overall Grade:

I think we are seeing a trend of sorts with Smithiak, which is taking safer picks in the earlier rounds and going for the homerun in later rounds. I’m OK with this. Brown, for all the smack, was a fairly safe pick. Mario and DeMeco were a fairly safe picks. In 2007, ManChild was an easy call and not a gamble, but they went Jacoby Jones in the 3rd, Fred Bennett in the 4th, and Brandon Frye in the 5th (looking forward to seeing him in the summer).

This draft just seems similar to me. A safer pick at the line early (Brown vs. Okoye), l33t skill position in the 3rd (Slaton vs. JJ [nod to JJ here, though]), a DB with upside (Bennett vs. Molden) in there, and another lineman with talent in the 5th (Okam vs. Frye).

Overall, I give this draft a very sold B+ with a greater possibility of upside than not. Molden and/or Okam could make this grade an “A” by themselves, much less Brown or Slaton. I’m excited.

Making an ass out of all of us

Apr 23, 2008 2008 Combine, 2008 Season, DRC, Posts that list too many players, Predictions Guaranteed To Go Wrong,