Richard Smith and the Mystery of Pass Coverage
Oct 22, 2008 Drunky Drunkerton, Duane Brown as Eliza Doolittle, Dunta Robinson, Faggination, Fire Richard Smith, Fisted by Jessica Alba, Football 101, Fred Weary is dirty, I was told there would be no math, Rendhel and Sid, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., The Fred, Theft
If you have read any of the previous Xs/Os things here at DGDB&D, it should be pretty clear that I am defense-first kind of guy. For every one article on zone blocking, there are at least four on some aspect of our defense or lack thereof. It’s not that I don’t like offense, but given the choice I’d prefer to see Mario Williams knock someone unconscious than watch Owen Daniels get a first down. I’m just odd, I s’pose.
Anyway, because I’m a defensive guy, watching Richard Smith’s approach to my favorite side of the ball has been especially painful. Whether it’s repeatedly dropping Mario into coverage against a Tennessee team that didn’t really throw into the flat all day or benching his best cornerback in favor of someone who is in the conversation for worst player in the NFL, Smith consistently does everything wrong—and, conversely, nothing right—in his defensive playcalling. We’ve covered the lack of blitzing and general lack of common sense and even offered up a possible solution (that Smith would never apply because it takes courage and vision).
The one thing we haven’t really covered, however, except in post-game griping and general comments about defensive failure, is our pass-coverage philosophy. Yet, after seeing the predictable result of Petey Faggins one-on-one with a WR that only Nnamdi Asomugah could cover, I think it’s about time to tackle the defensive backfield. I hope to tackle it better than Will Demps is tackling right now.
First, some background. The Texans play a mix of man coverage (usually in the form of Cover-1 or Cover-2 Man) and Cover-2 zone. Just so we are all on the same page, let’s look at each of those schemes. (Note: as always, we are talking in generalizations here. There are a million tiny variations to all of these…none of which Richard Smith understands.)
Man/Cover-1 Theory. Our most common form of man coverage is the Cover-1. (Our second-most common form is the Cover-2 Man, but we’ll hit on that in a minute.) In Cover-1, the defense has one deep defender at or near the middle of the field (relative to the sidelines) and he is responsible for deep help. Underneath, you will generally have pure man coverage from your CBs and LBs, with the other safety—usually the SS—free to assist in man coverage, sneak up for run support, or blitz.
If you are paying attention, you can see the biggest flaw in the Cover-1: the deep safety is responsible for a TON of real estate and if he lacks the speed or guesses wrong on where to go, it is almost impossible for him to recover. Thus a Cover-1 requires a very good FS in the deep coverage.
Under Gregg Williams, the Redskins ran a Cover-1 as a base package quite a bit, with the thinking being that Sean Taylor was more than capable of playing the role. He was, but Williams continually failed to realize that the scheme put a tremendous amount of pressure on his corners—because they absolutely had to avoid getting burned deep—and they were most certainly not up to that task. Nevertheless, Williams’ reputation as an aggressive play-caller—a myth that we already addressed before the season—was due in large part to the Cover-1’s requirements.
What I mean by this is, because of the inherent flaw in Cover-1, teams that employ that coverage try to be more aggressive up front to prevent the opponent from having enough time to stretch the field and develop multiple deep routes, thereby protecting the safety. To do this, the Cover-1 attempts to employ many different blitz packages/man assigments, most of which revolve around bringing the SS up to LB depth and, from here, either blitzing him or blitzing a LB or CB with that safety picking up the appropriate receiver. For this to be effective, however, any non-blitzing CBs/LBs (especially the WLB) have to be able to cover until the pressure gets to the QB.
Cover-1 also suffers from plenty of room after the catch, as most or all of the underneath defenders are locked up in man coverage of their own and, should a WR catch the ball, are not in position to make a quick tackle. (Think Greg Camarillo on a slant.)
Why it doesn’t work for the Texans. I think you see where I am going with this. Basically, in this coverage, you are asking Will Demps to cover sideline to sideline, Brandon Harrison (or, prior, C.N. Brown) to lock up in man coverage, and Petey Faggins and Jacques Reeves to maintain tight man coverage until Richard Smith’s non-effective blitz package gets to the QB. It should come as no surprise that, in the aforementioned Immolation Of The Faggins looked to be in Cover-1. [EDIT: Triple347 says the Johnson completion was in quarter-quarter-half coverage. See comments for discussion.
Even worse, though, is that Smith bastardizes the hell out of his Cover-1. Far be it from him to send the SS on a blitz. No, he utilizes the SS almost entirely in pass coverage from the LB depth. Meaning that teams with even two games worth of film on the Texans' D quickly figure out that the SS is bluffing and, thus, they don't try to account for him in blitz pickup. Instead, they take advantage of the fact that our SSs don't backpedal all that well---most don't---and they abuse him in coverage or throw over the top of him if he is dropping back into a middle zone.
When Brown/Harrison aren't all the way up at LB depth, Smith sneaks the up toward the middle of the field and in behind DeMeco Ryans, almost as if they are playing some kind of non-commital run support. Behind our best tackler. Because he apparently needs the backup?
Cover-2/Cover-2 Man. "Cover-2" might be the most overused and misunderstood phrase in football defense today. Pretty much all teams will occasionally come out in something resembling a Cover-2, but most have a wrinkle of some sort because most lack the personnel to effectively run a true Cover-2.
Cover-2 is a 2-deep, 5-under zone system. In this coverage, both safeties are responsible for half of the deep part of the field. The CBs are in press coverage and are each responsible for 1/5th of the short/intermediate zone underneath the two safeties. The three linebackers are each responsible for another 1/5. Because the safeties will generally line up between their respective hashmark and the sideline and because they will work toward the sideline at the snap, the biggest hole in the Cover-2 coverage is in between them, behind the MLB.
[Quick side-note: The Tampa-2 variant drops the MLB into deeper coverage to address the hole in the straight Cover-2 and has the CBs/remaining LBs responsible for 1/4th of the field each.]
Whereas the Cover-1 attempts to be aggressive up front to prevent the big play, the Cover-2 typically uses just the four-man rush and attempts to take away the big play by going into a bend-don’t-break mode. There are holes in the coverage between the zones, so teams will tend to throw underneath the two safeties, which is just what the defense is encouraging.
In Cover-2 Man, the safeties still play the same way, but the coverage underneath is pure man. The safeties help with deep coverage into their zones, but the man coverage will stay with the receivers through those zones as well, effectively leading to double-coverage on deep routes.
Regardless of whether the team is in Cover-2 or Cover-2 Man, the one place they should never, ever get beat deep is on the sidelines. The CBs have the WRs through the intermediate zone and the safeties, who moved toward the sideline at the snap, pick them up as they get deeper. Assuming your safeties can do that (and that your CBs consider basic things like “turn your head” and “don’t get roasted off the line”), the Cover-2 allows you to force teams to throw short-to-intermediate passes toward the middle of the field (thereby giving you the added benefit of forcing the opposition to throw the ball past many more hands), with the safeties coming up to make quick tackles. Of course, that also requires that you have safeties that tackle well…
Why this doesn’t work for the Texans. Again, I think you see where this is headed. The corners that Smith insists on giving the most reps are incapable of defending balls thrown over the top of them. The safeties seem incapable of giving help in the intermediate zone or in picking up WRs as they come into the deep zone. Will Demps especially has the annoying habit of letting the WR coming into his zone get past him before he reacts.
It is telling that we are CONSISTENTLY beat along the sidelines at every depth. The basic tenets of this coverage require that you have safeties who can defend the go/corner routes, not let WRs get behind them, and, most importantly, don’t get so worried about the underneath stuff that you bite on double-move. Simply put, we don’t have that.
****
You see the most glaring common weakness through the whole discussion as it pertains to us? OUR SAFETIES ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO RUN ANY OF THE COVERAGES WE ARE ASKING THEM TO RUN. Oh, sure, our Faggins and Reeves are very bad and they deserve their fair share of the blame—blame I am more than happy to heap on Petey at every opportunity—but at least we have Dunta Robinson, Fred Bennett, and Antwaun Molden available. Cornerback could theoretically be fixed if the DC would use some common sense. But we are stuck with the safety corps that we currently feature.
So, how to fix it? By “hiding” the safeties in a Cover-3!
Cover-3 Theory. If you didn’t know it before, by now you’ve realized that the number in Cover-# refers to the numbers of players in the deep zone. It’s a handy shorthand, but it does tend to oversimplify things. Regardless, in the Cover-3, there are (shocking!) three guys in the deep zone, with each responsible for 1/3 of the field. But here’s the wrinkle: unlike the Cover-2, where the two deep players are safeties, the Cover-3 generally uses two corners and a safety in the deep zone.
in a standard 2-corner, 2-safety scheme, it works like this: On the snap, the FS moves toward the middle of the field. The two corners are playing up near the line and they break back, basically running with the WRs while working back to their deep thirds. The SS is freed to rotate into the flat, or blitz, or fill a LB zone if one of them blitzes, or any number of other things. Also, because he’s not responsible for a deep third, the SS does not have to be able to run with deep routes or backpedal all that well, so you make up for a lack of speed/cover skills at SS. The OLBs are responsible for the flats or hook zones, while the MLB is responsible for the intermediate middle (DeMeco would excel in this because of his sideline-to-sideline speed). In one fell swoop, you limited what you are asking each safety to do, you’ve created a situation where DeMeco is utilized to his full ability, you’ve maximized the value of the physical corners (Robinson, Bennett, possibly Molden) because you are allowing them to jam at the line and then run with the route so they can defend the short or intermediate stuff, AND you are putting your OLBs in a position to blitz or cover the hook zone rather than try to run man-to-man with a TE. And if you can teach him to turn his head, Reeves’ speed would be a huge asset in getting back to his deep third, so even he would be improved.
Sounds cool, no? But here’s where it gets even better. You can run all sorts of shapes and formations out of it. You can disguise it as man coverage by keeping the SS back in his normal spot with the CBs in press coverage. You can move the SS up into the box for run support or to blitz him. You can blitz one of the OLBs and abandon the hook zone, assuming you’ll get to him before the WR gets open in the hook/short zone, or have the SS fill that hook zone and hope the QB tries to throw behind the blitz. You can run a zone blitz in front of the Cover-3, something that would be near impossible in the Cover-2, with the DE dropping into the flat.
And there’s more—you can even change up your personnel within the scheme or the scheme within the personnel. Because the FS is playing deep center field and ball hawking, you could occasionally put Dunta in that role, with Molden and Bennett playing jam coverage, thereby getting your big physical corners on the field at the same time while also freeing up Dunta to try to knock people out. You could slide an athletic linebacker like Xavier Adibi into the SS role and have him up in the box doing the same thing your SS would be doing in the straight Cover-3. You can disguise the coverage and confuse the opponent by playing zone on one side while still letting Fred Bennett lock up in man coverage on the other side. Hell, you can run the Cover-3 with your nickel package, with one corner locking up in man, one dropping into a deep third, and both safeties staying back. (You’ll notice that ALL these iterations ask the safeties to do less than we are currently asking them to do, while attempting to create some confusion and pressure up front and maintain deep coverage across the entire deep zone.)
Now, of course, all defenses have holes and inherent weaknesses. Cover-3 is no different. It is particularly susceptible to short routes if the CBs are selling out to get back to their deep zones quickly. This can be overcome somewhat by cheating out just a little bit with the OLBs and getting them into the flats more quickly. Additionally, you can swap coverage zones every now and then—for example, have the SS retreat into the deep zone the CB rotate up into the hook/flat zone if you catch a QB trying to consistently throw underneath the retreating CB. Even with these drawbacks and flaws, I know I would feel a lot better asking Bennett to react to a quick hitch than asking Will Demps to make an open field tackle. (And I’m fairly confident that the 96-yarder to Calvin Johnson doesn’t happen if we are in Cover-3.)
***
Take just a second and think about this whole discussion. You have three basic coverage philosophies here. Your personnel is a bad fit for one, a horrible fit for one, and a pretty good fit for one. Why in the name of Durga would the bad one and the horrible one get used extensively while the pretty good fit gets left on the bench beside your best cover corner?
The answer, best I can tell, is because Richard Smith is trying to kill me.
Steph
Aug 29, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Little Dickie Justice, Richard Justice is a talentless hack.
Posted without comment, but I think the word needs to be passed. If you should feel so inclined, a letter to the editor might be helpful, but keep it clean and professional.
Houston Chronicle Columnist Richard Justice Unfairly Attacks Alex Gibbs…and Then Me?
Things That Are Not News: Richard Justice Is A Cockgobbling Douchenozzle
Aug 27, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Richard Justice is a talentless hack.
So, it seems Lil’ Dickie Justice (age 12) got his underoos in a bunch when a bunch of people took him to task for being as asshat toward Stephanie in the comments to his blog. When pressed by various people, including many of the folks who frequent Texans Talk, Justice finally showed just how professional and mature he is, as he unleashed this beauty of a comment. Let fisk this motherfucker.
I don’t know what Stephanie’s real name is, but she creeps me out.
Well, Dick: 1. You do know Stephanie’s real name because you’d have to be borderline retarded to not realize that she’s the same person who used to do the fanblog on the very same site you are writing for, especially since your dislike of the fanblog has been documented by more than one person.
2. Moreover, you know enough about her to know that “she has her own blog,” thus you are probably also cognizant that, on her own blog, she goes by the name Stephanie Stradley. Which, coincidentally, is the same name she used in her fanblog for the Chron.
3. Why does her real name matter here? If you knew her real name, would she not creep you out? What if her real name was D’Brickashaw? Would that make you more or less creeped out?
4. Do you really think someone would make up an alias of “Stephanie?” Seems rather normal, doesn’t it? When I am going incognito, I prefer Captain Hercules Strongmember III.
She writes a little too often, wants to discuss and debate.
Hey, cumstain, you write a BLOG with COMMENTS on the website of a major(ly shitty) newspaper. THE FUCKING GOAL SHOULD BE FOR PEOPLE TO WANT TO DISCUSS AND DEBATE, YOU INSOLENT RETARD. If you don’t want people to write and discuss what you have written, then close the comments. Then you will be free to fellate Vince to your heart’s content with nary a word from the peanut gallery.
She has her own blog, so why is she so interested in mine?
See above, shit-for-brains. (Hint: It has something to do with Houston having only one daily newspaper, you writing a blog for said newspaper, and you writing things designed to elicit a response.)
Ask yourself that question.
Asked and answered. NEXT!
Maybe I’ve watched Fatal Attraction too many times.
And maybe you’ve put gerbils in your ass while dry-humping an 8×10 glossy of Bevo and watching the Rose Bowl DVD.
If something happens to one of my rabbits, she’s going to be in big trouble.
OH, I get it. You think Stephanie has some sort of psychotic obsession with you due to a brief affair you had with her, that she will eventually turn from adoration to vengeance, and that she will kill your pet rabbit by putting it in a pressure cooker while you are out with your wife and young daughter.
No, wait. That can’t be right. Hold on…let me see if I understand you: You think Stephanie is obsessed with you because she actually discusses and debates the things you write on your blog for Houston’s only daily newspaper rather than leaving comments about how you are a hack or how you should stick to baseball or how your columns are clearly influenced by your desire to get your asshole distended by Vince Young? The rational comments are what make you think she’s nuts and obsessed?
Or were you just trying to by funny in a hip, pop-culture sort of way…by referencing a twenty-fucking-one-year-old movie?
–Richard
DGDB&D Guest Post feat. Vega
Aug 15, 2008 Babyeating-Sisterfuckers, Dancing With the 'Tards, Guest Posts, I really dig my readers, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Vince Young can't read this post
Back in this post, I mentioned that we are always willing and happy to run well-written posts from our readers. This is one of those posts. (Also, I expand that offer to include fans of other teams that would like to offer a well-reasoned reponse to things they’ve read here about their favorite teams.)
Here’s the next guest post:
A Reasoned Rebuttal To A Richard Justice Article That Doesn’t Deserve A Link
by: Vega
You sense you are in the presence of greatness the moment he enters a room. Adults and children are in awe. Teammates love him, opponents respect him. There will never be another one like him.
Joe Montana - worthless. Jerry Rice – NFL slut. Dan Marino – what did he ever fucking accomplish? Walter Payton – he couldn’t even avoid death.
Vince Young did things on a football field that made grown men cry.
Similarly, Richard Justice has done things in journalism that make me cry.
He brought happiness to millions, made their boring lives worth living.
Damn it. If only I lived in Texas and was a Longhorn fan, my life wouldn’t suck.
He wore orange, but Tech fans, Aggie fans, UH fans, all fans rooted for him as if he was their own. Such was his greatness.
Wait a second, you mean EVERYONE loved him?! Friend and foe alike?! Well then why do I hate him now that he’s a BE-SF? Also, why… hold on, is he dead? Is this a eugogoly?
He made an entire state—and probably an entire nation—feel good about itself. All Vince Young has been to Texans is everything.
That fucker just called me an “it”.
That’s why nothing that happens this year in sports will be as emotionally powerful as what The University of Texas has planned for August 30. That’s when Vince Young’s jersey No. 10 will be retired by the Longhorns.
Michael Phelps would agree. When Tiger won the US Open on a broken leg, his first thoughts were of Vince Young. Eli Manning wore #10 in the Superbowl in honor of Young.
I’m probably like a lot of you in that when I’m feeling down or have had a bad day at work I put in the DVD of that Rose Bowl. No matter how many times I watch it, I’m still inspired by it, moved by it.
And sometimes, when I’m alone, I’ll grab a bottle of baby oil and a wooden spoon and spank my own ass.
It makes me want to work harder, to accomplish more. It makes me want to make Vince proud.
Usually, I’ll do a double of tequila and rub my own boob and I know that somewhere, Vince Young is smiling.
Whenever I’m in Austin, I drop by to see The Trophy, to feel its power, to remember that incredible evening.
Reading comprehension question: What is Richard Justice referring to when he speaks of “The Trophy”, “its power”, and “that incredible evening”?
a. The BCS Trophy, what it represents, and the 2006 Rose Bowl
b. His Pulitzer Prize, his extensive influence, that night he learned to fly.
c. His Vince Young Real Doll, sweaty man love, and his evening routine
d. Other. Please elaborate.
I never expect to have another one like it as long as I’m on this earth.
I wonder what your wife thinks about this.
I’ll be there for the ceremony. If you can’t be there, I’ll be there for you. I’ll capture the moment for you. I will write something that tugs at your heart and reflects Vince’s greatness. That is my gift.
Gee, thanks Dick, but I’m allergic to literary semen. How about if I just hammer an ice pick through my testicles and we call it square?
Texas isn’t like other places. Texas only honors a few of its own. Texas isn’t like other schools. Greatness is routine at Texas.
I’d like to step aside for a moment and congratulate BFD and all the other Longhorns on this site for being great. Super job, guys!
To have your jersey retired by The University of Texas, you have to be special.
He definitely is “special”.
Vince will join Tommy Nobis (60), Bobby Layne (22), Earl Campbell (20) and Ricky Williams (34) as the only Longhorns to have their numbers retired.
So according to the previous statement, Ricky Williams is pretty great and special too, huh. Among his accomplishments he lists setting the NCAA career rushing record (later broken by Ron Dayne), quitting the NFL so he could smoke more weed, not being able to get through a CFL season, and that night he ate 15 bags of Doritos.
The University of Texas is a special place. Whether you graduated from Texas, as I did, or you have visited the campus, you understand its power, its beauty and its grace. It’s a place of ideas, a place of thought, a place where people learn to be the best they can be.
It’s one of a kind too. Harvard, MIT, Princeton – amateurs.
So Texas will honor one of its best. He’s a magical man in that he’s beloved, not just by the University of Texas, but by millions of others. He’s admired for his football accomplishments, but also for his charitable heart and his dignity.
Yup, dignity. Lots of dignity.
”I’m really looking forward to getting back to Austin again, seeing everyone, reaching out to the community with my foundation event and cheering on my team,” Vince said. ”I was speechless when they told me about the jersey retirement earlier this summer, and I still don’t think it’s sunk in. It’s such a great honor to be remembered in such a special way. Man, when I see that number and my name on the stadium. I don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s just going to be such an unbelievable feeling for me and my family.”
Quick, raise your hand if you think that Vince Young knows the name of his foundation.
No, Vince, the honor is all ours. You allowed us to watch you play.
It’s a good thing you did too. Every year before college football starts, I stress over which players are going to allow me to watch.
”When you think about Vince, all he’s done for The University, our football program and the community, it’s going to be a really special day for all of us and a great opportunity to say thank you,” Mack Brown said. ”Thank you for what he does as a football player, how he represents our football program, athletic department and university, for sending such a great message about education by coming back to finish up school, but most importantly, for always giving back. Vince is a terrific football player but an even more special young man.”
Is it me, or is there an excessive amount of “special”-ness going on?
We’re Texas.
I thought we were Marshall?
What starts here changes the world.
We’re still talking about football right? Football that happened two and a half years ago?
Has Vince Young found a cure for cancer that I’m not aware of? Did he bring peace to the Middle East and I just missed the news conference? He’s a fucking football player!!
I’ve been clear in my comments here that I have no affiliation to UT and am completely impartial to what the team does in sports. That said, I don’t speak about my own mother this way. I don’t talk like this to my fiancee. She’d probably cancel the wedding if I did. I would love to hear from the UT crowd. Do you all feel the same?
Jellyfish
Jun 2, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Little Dickie Justice, Pancakes McTard, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Righteous Indignation, Token
If you’ve been following the comments on Jerome Solomon’s “Will the Texans win eight games” blog post, you are (a) as bored as I am and (b) no doubt aware of the back-and-forth that has transpired between Solomon and Mark (1Tex) as well as between Solomon and Solis.
Long story short, Mark took Solomon and the Chron to task for being so needlessly negative and pointed to a pro-Texans article from the Dallas Morning News as proof of getting better Texans coverage elsewhere. Solis then added that the Chron’s negative approach and subpar coverage of the team was why so many people were anti-Chron at this point. Solomon fired back that the same article had been posted on the Chron, that the Texans coverage on the paper was not negative, and that Mark and Solis sounded like they were whining.
Mark and Solis each responded, basically pointing out that Solomon was missing the bigger point here, to which Solomon replied that there was no “point” and likened the idea that people agreed that the Chron sucked to the KKK. (No, seriously.)
In all, it was your typical “Chron writer gets defensive about how poorly the paper covers the team” discussion. It would event be post-worthy were it not for this line from Jerome:
Courage to run what you say? You are nuts if you think I don’t run comments from people who disagree with me.
That’s good to hear. I mean, one wouldn’t want to think that Jerome was selectively approving comments in order to avoid having his argument shot down. Nope, he is better than that; he runs comments from people who disagree with him.
Unless those comments come from me or BFD.
Right after Solis’ first comment, BFD wrote the following:
Cmon, there’s really no reason to try and use logic on this here site. Wasn’t it JS who called Texans fans morons, or something similar, last year? Pancakes was “liveblogging” the Saints game last year, but obviously wasn’t watching the game. And RJ still can’t let go of his unrequited man-crush of VY.
The coverage here is pathetic and condescending with a bunch of reporters who are more excited about the Cow-pokes than they are the team they are supposed to cover.
That was written at 11AM on Sunday. As of 1:40PM on Monday, it still hasn’t been posted. Shortly after BFD, I added a comment of my own:
I also agree with 1Tex. It’s no secret among Texans fans that the Chron’s coverage of the team is horrible. Heck, look at any Texans blog, Texans message board, or just talk to any fan who cares enough to follow the team on a daily basis.
Obviously, Jerome misses the larger underlying point that 1Tex is making–the Chron’s coverage of the Texans should BLOW AWAY Texans coverage on other news outlets, yet it never does. At best, we get the same “oh, the team isn’t that good” tripe that we get everywhere else in the ether of the internet.
On top of that, we get a DALLAS COWBOYS BLOG on the Texans main page. Between that, a guy who lives to make insipid videos, a writer that will never forgive the team for not drafting Radio Young, a piece of eye-candy that has never once written anything remotely insightful, and a guy who literally called the Texans fanbase “losers” last year, it is little wonder that Texans fans feel like the Chron’s coverage is subpar.
I think every Texans writer at this paper should thank the deity of his/her choice that there is not a another major daily paper in Houston.
That comment also to that internet comment graveyard in the sky. I would have chalked it up to our being a collective persona non grata at the Chron and left it at that, but Jerome had to go and make it sound like he wasn’t filtering. So I emailed him, asking where my comment was if he was so willing to run opposing viewpoints. He replied that the problem was my inclusion of the atexansblog.com URL in my header.
Fine, I sent a new comment, basically mirroring my last one with some added responses to what he’d written in the interim and I was sure to leave my URL out. I was even somewhat friendly in this version.
I also agree with 1Tex. It’s no secret among Texans fans that the Chron’s coverage of the team is horrible. Heck, look at any Texans blog, Texans message board, or just talk to any fan who cares enough to follow the team on a daily basis.
Jerome misses the larger underlying point that 1Tex is making–the Chron’s coverage of the Texans should BLOW AWAY Texans coverage on other news outlets, yet it never does. At best, we get the same “oh, the team isn’t that good” tripe that we get everywhere else in the ether of the internet without much in the way of additional, insider-type articles that a local paper should provide.
On top of that, we get a DALLAS COWBOYS BLOG on the Texans main page. Between that, a guy who lives to make insipid videos, a writer that will never forgive the team for not drafting Radio Young, a piece of eye-candy that has never once written anything remotely insightful, and a guy who literally called the Texans fanbase “losers” last year, it is little wonder that Texans fans feel like the Chron’s coverage is subpar.
*****
“And to say that the Chron’s stories on the Texans are shrouded in negativity is a bit disingenuous, considering the team has never had a winning season.”One has nothing to do with the other, Jerome. You don’t have to have a winning season for articles following your best season to date to remain positive about the upcoming year. The team was .500 last year and, for the first time ever, seems to have most of the pieces in place to challenge any other team on any given week. Given that, which makes more sense–to talk about how the team has a better chance than ever to win at least 9 games OR to keep pointing out how they haven’t won 9 games in any previous years?
“Journalists are not supposed to write like fans of the team and say all is well when things are falling apart.”
Nor are they supposed to keep talking about how Mario Williams is a bust and wrong pick when he is dominating opposing teams and making the people who drafted him look like geniuses. They are supposed to write objectively about what is actually happening. So, when things AREN’T falling apart, by your rationale, the writers should not suggest that they are. (Unless you really think things are falling apart right now, which is a ridiculous assertion.)
Look, I don’t disagree that the paper should not aspire to be Pollyanna Sunshine 100% of the time. And I don’t think that negativity is necessarily the biggest problem facing the Chron (though it is certainly an important issue). The problem, as I see it, is that (a) the coverage provided that is good is–more often than not–written by the AP or someone unaffiliated with the paper and (b) the stuff written by Chron staff reeks of negativity so often that the occasional piece that isn’t gets lost in the mix.
That was two-and-a-half hours ago. Still, nada. About thirty minutes ago, following the brilliant KKK mention, I added:
The KKK comment is ridiculous and does nothing to further the debate. If you can’t see why it doesn’t work in the context of this debate–I can already hear you typing “no it’s not, both are examples of people with similar opinions”–then this conversation is pointless.
As for arguing that Solis’ (and others’) OPINION is wrong, how can you take that stance and still argue that people shouldn’t call you an idiot because you don’t like MMA? Your OPINION is that MMA is not entertaining, right? You back it up with other opinions–that it is about violence, that it is boring–but in the end it is still nothing more than opinion. And opinions are a matter of taste, not a matter of fact that can be argued.
Oh, wait, I forgot that it was perfectly acceptable for Chron writers to be hypocritical. See, e.g., Justice’s positions on Mario.
Of course, since you still haven’t posted my last comment, despite my removal of the URL, I doubt this one goes up either. And, yes, that is a thinly-veiled challenge.
I won’t hold my breath that either of these gets posted.
In the end, I can’t even pretend like this is surprising. After all, both BFD and I have taken many, many shots at the Chron and its staff over the past 13 months, so I guess they are justified in shutting us out of their comments if they want to. Whatever. Just don’t sit there and pretend like you are running all of the comments, even the negative ones, when you most certainly aren’t. THAT “is a bit disingenuous,” Jerome. If the people in charge won’t let you run DGDB&D comments, then say so. Hell, I’d have more respect for you if that was the case. Otherwise, I am going to assume that you and your cohorts are spineless and incapable of anything resembling the rational debate you claim to be willing to engage in.
Little Dickie Justice, age 12, still doesn’t get it
Apr 10, 2008 2006 Draft, Anger, Broken Record, Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Little Dickie Justice, Reggie Bush, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Vinsanity, age 12
Promoted from our boards, the awesomest thing ever on the internetz. Evar.
According to kozanack, who gets today’s award for raising my blood pressure, Little Dickie Justice was on the radio yesterday and…well, I’ll let koz tell his own story:
I was driving along today, channel surfing on my car radio, and sort of half way paying attention to the blather. Suddenly I realized the host (Justice) was trashing the Texans because they had the opportunity to increase the level of interest in pro football with the casual fan here in Houston, but screwed the pooch. He followed that by saying that Drayton and Les Alexander had confided in him that the Texans would be on top of the sports world here in Houston in only they had taken Vince or even Reggie instead of Mario. Then he went on to say one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.
He said that even though last year Mario clearly outperformed both Reggie and Vince, Vince was the right pick at the time, and the Texans blew it. He went on to say that even if Mario turns out to the best decision in the long term, Vince was the right choice at the time, so the Texans blew it. Basically, even if Vince bombs, anyone other than Vince was the wrong choice, especially Mario.
I think the first thing we should all be is thankful that Justice does not have any actual influence on our football decision-makers.
Matt and I have lamented before on Little Dickie Justice’s obvious homo-erotic man-crush on VY, not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that. Just because I think Maria Sharpova is gorgeous does not de facto mean that she’s the best tennis player in the world. But that seems to be about 51% of Justice’s argument (Maria, call me!).
The other 49% seems to be, and this is more speculation than anything, that because Vince is a hometown hero, he would be better from a marketing standpoint. Now, of course, this completely discredits whatever Reggie Bush argument he might have, but I’m trying to pry open a walnut-sized mind here, so give me a break.
Back to Vince. Drafting Vince would’ve been, specifically, a marketing ploy. This means that this second half of Justice’s argument is that marketing is much more important than winning. Now, I could go back and do a regression analysis of the relation between winning and attendance, but as fans, we don’t need that analysis. We already know better: winning teams put fannies in seats. Period.
Could you imagine an offense with 2 INT to 1 TD Young? Heck, let’s say we drafted both Young and Bush and his awesome 3.7 YPC and complete inability to run between the tackles (a kinda necessity in a zone blocking scheme, donchaknow). What would you guess for a record? 3-13? 2-14? Again, be thankful Justice isn’t in charge of these decisions.
What bothers me most, I think, is that it exposes Houston’s traditional print media as a bunch of moronic crybabies who are still pouting three years later that they didn’t get their way. As I’ve said before: if I was wrong every day of my life and didn’t understand the basic concepts of my job, I would lose my job instantly.
Little Dickie: you were wrong then, you are wrong now. There’s no way you can rationalize this one to your advantage, and every time you open your mouth, you embarrass yourself. Mario > VY + Bush. The end.
And I just had to get the following on our front page, courtesy and permission of DiehardChris:
Well done, Chris. Well done.
Eeshirt-tay Ontest-cay
Mar 9, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Inanity, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., T-shirts
Considering I have been incredibly lazy around here lately (due in no small part to my sleep being in three-hour intervals), I am going to give myself a little credit for being only eight days late in announcing the winner of
The DGDB&D “Design A Richard Justice T-Shirt” Contest!!
The winning entry, submitted by The Count, will be made into a t-shirt shortly and I will post the link. I will also mail one of the shirts to Dick himself (and to The Count) and, with luck, some form of hilarity will ensue. (Note: The authors of this blog take no responsibility for any lack of ensuing hilarity.)
UPDATE:
Oh, yeah…about that t-shirt contest
Feb 5, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Douchebag Tom, Houston Chronicle, Inanity, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., T-shirts
Friday marked the closing of entries in
The DGDB&D “Design A Richard Justice T-Shirt” Contest!!
With no further ado, I present all of the submitted designs. Vote in the comments with the following rules: 1. No anonymous votes will be counted. 2. Only vote once. 3. Feel free to try to circumvent #2, but be clever about it. Voting will close March 1, with the winner announced March 5ish.
1. 
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3. 
4. 
5. 
6. 
7. 
8. 
9. 
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12. 
Two jokes, one design
Jan 30, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Inanity, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., T-shirts, You remind me of ____
With one day remaining before the deadline, Liston offers another t-shirt design for the
The DGDB&D “Design A Richard Justice T-Shirt” Contest!!
I will repost all of the designs on Friday. Remember, you have until Friday morning to submit designs. You know you aren’t doing anything productive right now (or else you wouldn’t be reading this); why not make a t-shirt design?
Moron^2
Jan 13, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Douchebag Tom, Fuck the Cowboys, Houston Chronicle, Inanity, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., T-shirts
SOLIS offers up four more t-shirt designs for the
The DGDB&D “Design A Richard Justice T-Shirt” Contest!!
Says the artist, “It’s based on the theory that Tom is acually Richard Justice.”
Vista View
Jan 4, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Inanity, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., T-shirts
The Count offers another entry in the Lil’ Dickie T-Shirt Extravaganza.
Off and running
Jan 2, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, I really dig my readers, Inanity, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., T-shirts
I seriously love you people. Two more entries in the t-shirt contest, this time from reader Brent.
I ain’t your pal, dickface.
Jan 2, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, I really dig my readers, Inanity, Richard Justice is a talentless hack.
We interrupt what will shortly become a near-obsessive focus on the 2008 draft to bring you the first entries in The DGDB&D “Design a Richard Justice T-shirt” Contest. The following were submitted by Liston. (Remember to get your own submissions in by February 1st.)
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines. Raphael is cool but rude–gimme a break!–and Michelangelo is a party dude!
Dec 30, 2007 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Inanity, McTard, Richard Justice is a talentless hack.
Created during a typically disjointed conversation with Liston (and cemented by the most recent article), we here at DGDB&D are pleased to announce:
-
The DGDB&D “Design A Richard Justice T-Shirt” Contest!!
Allow me to explain.
As we all know, Richard Justice is a knob-gobbler and a talentless hack who has absolutely no business as a sports writer for a major metropolitan newspaper. Hell, he has no business as a sports writer in a paper of any size if you buy into the idea that the media is supposed to report and appear to be unbiased. Whatever.
But, rather than continue to bitch about him, I want you, the reader, to design a t-shirt along the same lines as the photo essay. By which I mean come up with something visual that represents just how awful Richard Justice truly is. The winner not only gets their t-shirt for free, but will also have his or her t-shirt sent to Richard Justice himself.
Rules:
- 1. All submissions are due by February 1. They will be posted on this blog as they come in, however.
- 2. They must be some sort of visual humor. Writing “Richard Justice touches babies” won’t work; having a picture of him ass-grabbing a toddler would.
- 3. I need the submission in .jpg or .gif form if possible.
- 4. Winner will be picked by popular vote and will be named on March 1.
- 5. Be funny.
That’s it.
For inspiration and to study up on the suckiness that is Lil’ Dickie, see:
Photo Essay On Richard Justice, by Matt
Chronic 2007, or “Dedicated To All Of Those With Big Egos”
Or pretty much anything he’s written about the Texans
Odds and Ends
Dec 11, 2007 2006 Draft, Andre Johnson, Awesomeness, Curious Coaching, Houston Chronicle, Jacoby Jones is slighty less unheralded, Jerome Mathis got hurt reading this, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Super Mario, The Fred, The Schaub Experiment
Random tidbits of stuff that I would normally do a full post on if this last fortnight hadn’t been ridiculously busy.
- Apparently, someone has kidnapped Richard Justice and replaced him with Pollyanna Sunshine. I replied to the old “he can’t play” email with a message that said simply “care to retract this?” I expected another smart-ass answer, or no answer at all. Instead, I received his answer two minutes after I sent my message. “Yes, I do. That was wayyyyyy wrong.” Color me shocked.
- BRB was all over this when it broke, but it appears Jerome Mathis (a) owns a number of pit bulls and (b) somehow managed to let some of them escape. Dumb? Sure. But also awesomely hilarious. Thank you, Jerome; you may not give the team anything on the field, but you just gave me an early Christmas present.
- Not to be Debbie Downer (who is Pollyanna Sunshine’s goth cousin), but how painful is that loss to Atlanta now that you see the wheels completely off down there? Seriously, your coach just up and walked away from the team during the season so he could take the job with a middle-of-the-road SEC team that’s about to lose Darren McFadden and Felix Jones? That cannot be a good sign.
- I realize I haven’t really posted anything about the win over Tampa Bay. Like a number of you, I was forced to follow on gamecast because the weather prevented me from getting a good Sirius signal in the house. My thoughts on the game, based on what I got from the live blog and what transpired on my computer screen, are as follows:
- Mario Williams is a bad, bad man. I look for him to knock Jay Cutler somewhere into the middle of next week.
- Morlon Greenwood is underrated (and I have been saying so since the preseason, thank you very much).
- Andre Johnson against regular DBs is a lot like when I play against some of the third graders I coach. The fact
- that we had to play without him for much of the year still pisses me off at Kubiak.
- Why was totally-unproven Matt Schaub the most prized backup in football, but Sage gets almost no press at all? Shouldn’t we be able to get a couple second-rounders for him?
- Will Demps is playing like a ninja. A love ninja. Really, other than gets rolled by Jamal Lewis a couple weeks ago, he’s been playing lights out. Which is really weird to say regarding any of our safeties since…um…ever.
- Fred Bennett continues to impress. Jacoby Jones continues to disappoint. Petey Faggins continues to be not playing very much. These things are good, bad, and awesome, respectively.
- I am strangely thrilled about having a Thursday night game. Which is only odd because, prior to this week, I was annoyed by the Thursday games. It’s a really cool idea (an extra night of football) that’s really poorly executed (a channel that a whole lot of people can’t get) and that gets in the way of my prognosticatin’ (because I generally do those on Friday or even Saturday). This week, though, it’s nothing but good.
- UPDATE: It was pointed out by grungedave that I failed to mention that I am the greatest football prognosticator of all time. Pay no attention to the previous week when I was awful, because I rocked a solid 15-0 last week. That’s balls, baby. Big balls.
Awesomeness
Dec 11, 2007 Awesomeness, Bloggerating, Houston Chronicle, I really dig my readers, Inanity, Richard Justice is a talentless hack.
This is pretty much the coolest thing ever. It’s also proof that the internet is the high-water mark of human advancement. It’s all downhill from here, people.
Many, many, MANY thanks to the Count Ramblings blog for creating this.
Yet, my wife still won’t let me name the new baby “Mario.”
Dec 9, 2007 2006 Draft, 2007 Season, Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Self-Referential Stuff, Super Mario
It dawned on me today that, since October 30th, all Super Mario has done is notch 5.5 sacks and 24 tackles.
What’s the deal with October 30, you ask? Well, that was the day that the ultimate arbiter of NFL talent, Richard Justice, informed me that Mario “can’t play.”
It is fairly settled that Justice is a talentless butt pirate, but this kind of coincidence points out just how incredibly stupid he can be at times. Anyone with half a brain could see that Mario was playing very well through the first half of the season and that he was garnering double- and triple-attention all year long. It was just a matter of him figuring out what he needed to do to get to the next level. Well, he figured it out alright. And it couldn’t have come at a more hilarious (for our purposes) time.
UPDATE: Wow. Just fucking WOW. Richard Justice basically offered up a mea culpa and admitted that, yes, Mario was the right choice after all. Unbelievable.
In case you were wondering, though, the photo essay stays. Because he’s still a fuckwad.
“Down the road a-ways,” I’ve heard said, “a new day’s comin’ on.”
Dec 2, 2007 2006 Draft, 2007 Draft, 2007 Season, 2008 Draft, Andre Johnson, Batman, Curious Coaching, DeMeco Ryans, Pro Bowl 2008, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Ron Dayne likes pie, Secondary issues are primary, Super Mario, The Schaub Experiment
I’m not really sure where to start. I actually felt ill watching the second half unfold. For everything that went right–Mario Williams, DeMeco Ryans, Andre Johnson–it seemed like just as many if not more went wrong–season-crippling injuries, poor special teams, poor run defense, continual mental mistakes.
One could easily argue that this game was a microcosm of our entire season, so let’s approach the recap that way.
The continued development of Mario Williams. The continued, Fox-News-like insistence of Richard Justice aside, most people agree that Mario has progressed well in his first full healthy season. After notching three sacks in his first seven games, Super Mario scored three in the past four games prior to today. So, all he does today is come in, put up a new personal single game high two and a half sacks (one was a gimme), and break the franchise single-season sack record. He is currently two sacks away from the franchise career record of 15 (Kylie Wong).
The continued excellence of DeMeco Ryans. His 14 total tackles today–a season high–pushed him over 100 for the season and gave him three straight games (and five total games this season) with at least 10 total tackles. Week in, week out, the one consistent thing about this team is DeMeco. If he doesn’t make the Pro Bowl this season, it will be a complete traveshamockery.
The continued demonstration of how much Andre Johnson means to this offense. This doesn’t need much explanation. Basically, Andre gives us a WR who, when healthy, is almost always good for 8-10 catches, 110+ yards, and a TD or two. More importantly, though, is that he catches nearly every ball thrown at him, regardless of how good a pass it really was. He is so good that I was actually shocked when he didn’t haul in the pass from Sage Rosenfels down around the ten yard line, despite the fact that catching it would have required him to stop on a dime, spin back 180 degrees, and snag a ball that was thrown at his back shoulder.
The continued enigma that is Ron Dayne. Don’t look at me; I’m as confused as you. In the first eight games of the year, Dayne played in six. Of those, only once did he crack three yards/carry. His single game high during that stretch was 62 yards. Since then, however, he’s been nothing short of, um, well above average. He’s been over four yards/carry every game, and he’s put up 122, 89, 78, and 86 yards respectively. Just when it was concede by nearly everyone involved in football that we had no running game whatsoever, the Dayne Trayne got on track and proved nearly everyone wrong. Perhaps the strangest thing about this, though, is that I still have no desire to go into next season with Ron Dayne occupying a prominent role in this offense.
The continued inability to beat the Tennessee Titans. 10-2. That’s the all-time record between the Titans the Texans. We have been beaten by Steve McNair six times, Vince Young three times, and Kerry Collins once. We have not beaten them since 2004, when we inexplicably beat them twice. It does not seem to matter who is under center for them or for us. It doesn’t matter how well or poorly we play. It doesn’t even matter how late in the game we manage to hold a lead. It defies explanation, yet somehow it defines much of the past 5-plus seasons. And now, it’s cost me two bottles of Jagermeister. Good times.
The continued plague of injuries. OK, now it’s just getting ridiculous. We can add Fred Weary (broken leg) and Chris White (injured MCL) to this list of players lost for the year, raising that total to 15. And that doesn’t even count Ahman Green, who has yet to finish a single game; or Matt Schaub, who has been knocked from games more than once and who might now be lost for the year with a dislocated shoulder; or Andre Johnson, who missed eight of our 12 games with a completely avoidable injury; or any of the myriad other players who have been listed as “questionable” or worse this season.
The continued sieve that passes as run defense. The 153 yards allowed to the Titans today was even worse than the 119 yards/game average we allowed coming in. In fact, we went from 22nd in the league to 25th in rushing yards allowed/game based on today’s (lack of) performance. In fact, this probably deserves its own post at some point.
The continued struggles on special teams. Early in the year, there were issues with Kris Brown (see, e.g., the Atlanta game). Then, we had issues with kickoff returns while Jacoby Jones was out (see, e.g., the first Titans game, when Andre Davis decided that kicks 9 yards deep in the end zone were still worth bringing out). Then, it was Matt Turk channeling Chad Stanley (see, e.g., the San Diego game). Today, it was Jacoby deciding that fair catches were for girls…until he muffed one that effectively ended our chances at winning the game. Oh, and let’s not forget the stupid holding penalty that negated our own recovery of a Tennessee muff (which sounds dirty, but isn’t). He’s not Richard Smith-level bad, but special teams coach Joe Marciano isn’t exactly doing a bang-up job.
The continued mental mistakes of both players and coaches. Sage Rosenfels‘ curious decision to run back toward the middle of the field at the end of the game, Richard Smith’s wussified decision not to blitz near the end of the game despite being shown repeatedly that the blitz was working while the “rush three” defense was being eaten alive (on the big completion to Eric Moulds, for example), Jacoby Merkel’s aforementioned boner, Kubiak’s odd insistence about making Vonta Leach an integral part of the running and passing game, and so on and so forth. Is it possible to get through one game–just one–where we aren’t left scratching our heads at the decision-making?
Today’s loss was just another dose of variations on any number of themes. Unfortunately, it is also the end of any realistic chance of a playoff appearance. Now, the more cynical among us might say that the playoffs were never an attainable goal this season. While that is debatable, what is not arguable is that the games are always more meaningful when you can delude yourself into thinking January football is a possibility. Without that, all we have is another year of draft talk in December.
I don’t want to be all doom and gloom. Certainly, we have pieces in place that should lead to a successful 2008 and beyond. This team is sitting in a better position than any version of the Texans that we’ve seen. We know what works on this team and, just as importantly, we know what doesn’t. Still, right now (and until I am sufficiently un-angered), I can’t help but say it over and over in my head. “Same old, same old.”
e-turd
Nov 24, 2007 Dancing With the 'Tards, Fuck the Cowboys, Houston Chronicle, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Righteous Indignation, Suck it bitchez
By now, I am sure that you’ve heard about this.
It appears that the powers-that-be over at Chron.com have decided to launch a Cowboys blog. Seriously? Because, maybe I am just hearing what I want to hear, but it has certainly sounded to me that one of the chief complaints about the Chronicle–along with Richard Justice being a talentless shitstain–has been that the paper seems to devote too much ink/coverage/love/masturbatory fantasies to things other than the Texans.
Knowing that, the decision to launch a fanblog about the team that nearly every Texans fan loathes is questionable at best. It’s a big “fuck you” to the Texans fans at worst. Some of the commenters on that Chron story have made good comparisons–that it’s like having a “Bronx chapter of the Red Sox fan club”–but that misses the point slightly, as the Yankees would likely be well represented and well covered alongside the Red Sox talk. Here, this is nothing more than offering to be the pivot man for any Cowboys fans that come along, while simultaneously taking a gigantic dump on the Texans and their fans.
And, really, is that even surprising at this point? The writers over there have made it more than clear that they are willing to let their personal feelings about players color what the write, that they have no qualms about making stuff up about players or about the team in general, and that many of them would like nothing more than to be Vince Young’s fluffer in their next lives. So why, then, would we be even slightly shocked that they would take the next logical step and put fan coverage of the Cowboys on par with that of the Texans? The only unexpected part of this story is that they didn’t just have Thomas Hilton killed and replace the Texans fan blog completely.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but this is the final straw with me. As of now, unless one of the stories over there mentions me or this blog by name, I will not comment on or link to anything written by paid employees of the Houston Chronicle. I’m reasonably sure I will get by without them.
An Open Letter (from bigfatdrunk) to John McClain
Nov 21, 2007 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, McTard, Megan Manfull is retarded, Open Letters, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., Suck it bitchez
Ed. note: It’s no secret that I have an active dislike for the Houston Chronicle and, even more specifically, for the trite drivel spewed by most of their sportswriters. Lest ye think I am alone in my disdain, I present the following letter from BFD to John McClain, as first posted at BRB.
Dear Mr. McClain,
As I intimated recently, the Jurassic media, such as the Houston Comicle, jumped the shark many years ago. As if to prove my point with a flourish, you publish this absolute turd of an article.
Forgetting such basic math concepts such as prior performance is no guarantee of future performance or that as variables (aka players, coaches, your BAC) change, the outcome will change, I will again pound on a theme that has become blatantly obvious to any reader with an education level north of Richard Justice, or about the 4th grade.
You, Mr. McClain, hate the Texans. Whether it’s the unrequited love syndrome that so affects Justice due to his man-crush on Vince Young, or whether you seem to enjoy inflicting Solomon-esque pain, I am not quite sure. Perhaps, it’s a little of both? Or am I missing something?
Now, I’m sure your defense will be, “But I mentioned they are .500! Don’t you read? Or do you just read what you want to read?” To answer your questions, yes I read. And, yes, I read what I want to read. You, dear sir, do not fall into the “want to read” category. As for yet another back-handed compliment, we’ll just place that one in the Mario file.
If you are the General, you are the modern-day equivalent of Ambrose Burnside. And with a leader like you, who needs the bleach?
The overall lack of objectivity toward the Texans is incredibly reprehensible, but even when given the opportunity to play a bit of a hometown fan-boy, you showed your true colors. How could, and why should, anyone consider the Houston Chronicle sports section a reliable source of information when you and your cohorts have exhibited such unmitigated and non-negotiable hatred of the Houston Texans?
Your BFF,
XOXOXOXOX,
bigfatdrunk
PS: I’m sure you’ll take full credit for being incredibly right, all the time, once the bandwagon starts chugging.
