We got a thing goin’ on
Aug 29, 2007 Jacoby Jones is slighty less unheralded, National Media, Preseason 2007, Special Teams, Training camp 2007
Ask any Texans fan what he or she thinks of Jacoby Jones and the answer you get will likely include phrases such as “simply amazing,” “great draft pick,” and “want him to be my baby-daddy.” Having your way with the Dallas Cowboys will get you that kind of respect, and deservedly so.
Jones might not be the leagues best-kept secret for much longer, though. It looks like the national media is catching wind of the greatness that is JJ. NFL.com’s Adam Schefter writes
Last year Bears rookie Devin Hester rocked the football world, returning punts for touchdowns and the Bears to NFC prominence.
This year, Texans rookie Jacoby Jones could do the same.
Three weeks into the preseason, no rookie has shined anymore than Jones, who has been a threat as a punt returner and a wide receiver.
The 6-foot-2, 210-pound Jones has caught eight passes, including one that went for a 19-yard touchdown against the Dallas Cowboys.
As a punt returner, Jones has brought back two for touchdowns in each of the Texans past two preseason games –- one for 81 yards against Arizona, the other for 90 yards against Dallas — and there could have been a third if Jones weren’t narrowly tripped up in Houston’s preseason opener against Hester’s Bears.
The Texans recognize Jones’ talents already, and have for quite some time. While many teams forecasted Jones as a fifth- or sixth-round pick, the Texans picked him in the third round. They liked him then; they like him even more now.
Jones was something of an unknown coming from tiny Lane College. There were questions about Jones’ small hands and dropped passes. But Jones hasn’t dropped anything this summer. It’s starting to look as if other teams dropped the ball on not picking Jones sooner.
Seriously… how cool is that? I know that there’s a list as long as my arm of guys who flashed in training camp, but never did anything in the pros. Hell, we’ve had a few of them. But Jones seems legit. Even if he can’t return punts for TDs in 10 or 11 games this season, we’ll still be more than pleased with what he brings to the table. As long as he treats the Titans like he treated the girls from up north.
An Open Letter to Mr. Randy Galloway
Aug 27, 2007 Inanity, Open Letters, Poetry, Righteous Indignation, Special Teams
Dear Randy,
I just wanted to write and offer a sincere “fuck you” in regards to your column–In Lousy Loss, Cowboys had Trifecta: Stink, Stank, Stunk–from this past Sunday.
To be clear, it’s not the overall message of your post I take issue with. I agree wholeheartedly that the Cowboys played like a bunch of ninnies. (That was the message of your post, wasn’t it? I find it so difficult to decipher poorly-written sports columns.)
No, my “fuck you” is directed at this line:
The Cowboys had an embarrassing “all three phases” first-half collapse against the Houston Texans, a team that will be lucky to win five regular-season games.
Lucky to win five, eh? And you are basing that on what, pray tell? My guess it that you’ve spent far too much time writing love letters to Tony Romo this offseason to actually look at the Texans. Of course, coming from Fort Worth–the ugly sister with an inbred crush on her drug-addict brother, Dallas–I suppose it only makes sense that you would be busy worshiping at the Altar of Botched Snaps.
Fact is, you were fed a steaming turd sandwich by a team that played its starters less than you did, rendered your blitzing defense more or less null and void, and featured a running back that your own announcers were laughing about until he ran all over you. Do you really want to say that this team is unlikely to wi–
Wait a second… did you really paraphrase “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” in your title?!? Did your group home arrange this job for you as a way to get you out in mainstream society? Do you wear a helmet? Are you going to treat your readers to “Romo Hears a Who” next? Would my message be easier for you to comprehend in some sort of rhyme?
I do not like you, sportswriting jerk
I do not like you, I hate your work
Your city’s a joke
Your analysis is too
From the depths of my heart
Randy, fuck you
I hope this helps. Keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Matt
Kickin’ it in Houston
Aug 4, 2007 Chad Stanley, Matt Turk rules, Preview, Special Teams, Training camp 2007
For fans of most teams, a training camp punter battle would be slightly less interesting than Special Olympic tic-tac-toe. (And way less interesting than a cripple fight.)
Most teams, however, haven’t been privy to the Chad Stanley Experience.1
How bad is Chad Stanley? Well, a Google search for “Chad Stanley sucks” turns up the following quotes:
Their current punter Chad Stanley is awful. Gardocki awful. Worse really, if looked at more than just last year. (Author’s note: This is from a Steelers fan.)
Chad Stanley? Yikes. This guy was brutal last year. My guess is he isn’t the only punter on the roster come training camp. They are probably (no, hopefully) searching for his replacement already.
This sucks. I’m sorry, Chad Stanley is now a terrible NFL punter. Hopefully this is something we can address with a late-round pick.
Chad Stanley laid an egg.
Even accepting that disgruntled fans are not the most unbiased observers, these quotes coupled with Stanley ranking 29th in Gross Average Yards and 21st in Net suggest that Captain Shank might not be the best man for the job.
Enter Matt Turk. The same Matt Turk who ranked 18th in Gross and 9th in Net last year in St. Louis. Yeah, you could say I’m excited.
Dale Robertson sums up just what Matt Turk could bring to our table.
The Friday morning workout was for special teams only and the punt team became the primary focus of the session. Veteran punter Matt Turk, brought in to compete with original Texan Chad Stanley, dazzled the attending media with a series of crushing punts, a couple of which looked like they were going to bust through the Methodist bubble top.
Rookie Jacoby Jones tried to field one and wound up shaking his hand in pain.
“He’s a boomer,” special teams coach Joe Marciano said. But he didn’t want to start a controversy, quickly pointing out that Turk and Stanley are very different types of punters and should be judged differently. “Chad doesn’t have any 70-yarders in him,” Marciano conceded, “but he’s been very effective in the 40- to 50-yard range, with hang times of 4.5 to 4.8 (seconds). One of those guys will be punting here this year and other one will be punting for some other team. They’ll both be in the league, I guarantee you that.”
Turk missed the 2005 season with an injury but then became “a gym rat,” Marciano said, and now could pass for a linebacker, he’s so muscular. Asked if he’d ever seen a punter rip into the football like Turk does, Marciano replied, “Yeah, last year, when we played St. Louis (in the preseason).”
Turk was the Rams’ punter.
Compare and contrast that with this TexansTV video of Stanley and Turk going head-to-head. Maybe I am just being overly optimistic, but quotes like “we thought it was important to push Chad” and “Matt is a power guy…explodes into the ball” seem to bode well for a Stanley-less future.
Thanks for the memories, Chad. We’ll keep in touch. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, dude.
1For the uninitiated, watching Stanley has been roughly as painful as a root canal. Performed rectally.
