DGDB&D: a Texans blog.

Recon. Chris gets the skinny on the Steelers from AOL Fanhouse blogger JJ Cooper. Which brings us something that’s always bothered me. Namely, why are some initials ok to use as your everyday name while others aren’t? JJ, BJ, AJ, DJ…what is it about the second J that makes that acceptible?

O captain, my captain, our dreadful offseason is done. Your Houston Texans have elected this year’s team captains.  Mario, DeMeco, Andre, The Schaub, and Kris Brown.  No surprises there, I guess.

The leap.  Marroncito returns to BRB with a question I had not really considered:  which player(s), if he raised his game to very good/great levels, would take the Texans to the doorstep of being a Super Bowl contender?  The most common answer in the comments is Amobi, and I tend to agree, but I can definitely see the argument for Schaub.

Finally.

Picking up where we left off a while ago.  On the defensive side of things, we’ve already hit FS (C.C. Brown), SS (sadly, also C.CN. Brown), and MLB (DeMeco Ryans).  I think BFD gave up on the offense, though, when he realized he’d have to pick a LT.  Up next, Defensive End.

I decided to go with DE as a single position, but with the understanding that I will pick two players.  This is because (a) the position is one of the more fungible ones, relatively speaking, and (b) the role of the 3-4 DE and 4-3 DE differs a bit, so it’s just easier if I lump all the DEs together and choose based on performance in the system at the time.

The Candidates:
Gary Walker
Jerry DeLoach
Corey Sears
Robaire Smith
Anthony Weaver
Mario Williams

The first DE spot is a no-brainer.  Mario, welcome to the All-Time team.

The second spot, however, is a little tougher. Gary Walker transitioned from a DT in Jacksonville to become a Pro-Bowl DE in Houston in 2002 with 6.5 sacks and 52 tackles.  Unfortunately injuries to his shoulder and his groin limited Walker after 2002 and, though he started 30 more games over three seasons, he was never close to his 2002 level.

Jerry DeLoach started two full seasons (and parts of two others) at DE for your Texans.  And he sucked.  Badly.

Corey Sears was a starter for 12 games in one season (2003) and was non-descript.  Meaning, of course, that he inspired less anger than Jerry DeLoach did.

Anthony Weaver…guh.

Meaning, lame as it is, the only competition for Gary Walker on this squad is Robaire Smith.  Smith never put up good sack numbers, but watching him play, you could hardly blame him.  The team was using an almost-textbook 3-4, sending LBs (notably the woefully-out-of-place Jason Babin and Kailee Wong) on blitzes to get after the passer and smith was a 4-3 DT playing a 3-4 DE role.  He did defend 13 passes in his two seasons and he also posted 121 tackles over that same time.  Not bad.  Solid, even.

SO…do you go with the guy who had one very good year and was then wrecked by injury or the guy who had two solid years where he did exactly what he was expected to do?  Well, given the inability this team has in getting QB pressure over the years, coupled with my preference for big play DEs, I am going with Gary Walker.  Congrats, Gar.

…aaaaand, we’re back!

Back from where, you ask?  Well, for the first time since Sophia was born back in February, my wife and I were able to escape for a kidless vacation this past weekend.  And how better to spend a romantic weekend than in Houston, eating Mexican food, listening to live music, and watching your Houston JUGGERNAUT in action?

Speaking of live music, if you’ve never seen Billy Joe Shaver in concert, do yourself a favor and make that happen.  The man is a living legend (he wrote 90% of Waylon Jennings’ Honkytonk Heroes album as well as songs for the Allman Brothers, Jerry Jeff Walker, and Bobby Bare) and, even better, completely out of his mind.  He spent two songs explaining how to throw a punch, one song trying to kick a woman in the head, and at least two songs flapping his arms like he was going to fly.  But, regardless, the show was fantastic.  And I defy you to show me another 69-year-old performer who comes on at 11PM and plays until well after 1AM.

Other thoughts about the game and the weekend in general:

• First off, huge thanks to Tim and his better half for taking us to the game and just generally showing us a good time around Houston.  A+ effort as always.
• A separate thank you to Tim’s dad for giving us the tickets.
• He got close last year, but this is going to be the season that Mario Williams makes all the doubters feel silly.  You wouldn’t think he could look appreciably better than he did last year, but you would be wrong.  On one play, Mario shoved Ryan Clady (all 325 lbs of him) back about six feet and snared Selvin Young with one hand, bringing the RB down for a two-yard loss.  The funny thing was Clady was in proper to position to block Mario—he had his butt low and was squared up correctly—yet Mario just flung him out of the way as if he was nothing.
• DeMeco Ryans is very, very good.  This is not news.  What is news, however, is that he seems to have found another gear as well, as he was disrupting plays in the backfield with surprising regularity during the first two series.
• Ninfa’s is really, really good.  It’s so good, in fact, that every time I eat there, I refuse to eat Mexican food in Little Rock for months afterward.
• Is there some reason Jacques Reeves was giving a five- to seven-yard cushion to the slot WRs?  Because I can’t figure out what it would be.  I mean, his one asset is speed, right?  So shouldn’t he play a little closer, knowing that he can keep up stride-for-stride?  Someone needs to answer this.
• Will Demps looks very good in run support.  He is one of five Texans who can claim that praise following Sunday’s game.
• Petey Faggins made one tackle where, before I realized it was him, I said “wow…great hit!”  Then I felt dirty and started to question my own existence.  Thankfully, Faggins then completely lost outside contain on Anthony Aldridge’s run, turning a 4-yard loss into a 19-yard gain.  All was immediately right with the world.
• In other news, Petey tackles very well when he is hitting a stopped receiver from the side.
• Contrary to what some random ‘tards will tell you, there is no QB controversy, nor should there be one.  Matt Schaub looked fantastic on his first four throws and the timing route he fired to Andre Davis was a throw that (a) Zoolander never could have made and (b) our offense has rarely, if ever, featured before.  Schaub threw it to Davis’ back shoulder and the ball was halfway there before Davis ever made his turn.  It is obviously something they’ve been working on, though, as Andre knew without a doubt where the ball would be when he broke.  Impressive as hell.  That throw is also why I think Matt forced the fifth throw into coverage—he’s apparently been working with Davis on a lot of short routes and precision throws and he’s comfortable throwing to Andre regardless of the situation.  Was it a bad throw?  Of course.  It was into triple coverage and David Anderson was open to the left.  But it was an understandable early-season mistake.
• Speaking of QBs, Sage Rosenfels did look good, especially on the throw to Anderson.  But what apparently doesn’t come across on television (as I haven’t seen anyone talking about it) is that Sage has a serious case of happy feet back there.  Oh, sure, he’s nails and he will stay in and keep his eyes downfield, but his footwork is pretty bad.  He made that very nice throw to Jacoby Jones, but he was practically dancing in place before he launched it.  And I can’t recall him stepping up into the pocket much at all.
• Good news!  There was actually a pocket the QBs could have stepped into.  I am already prepared to admit that I was wrong on Duane Brown; that kid looked fantastic Saturday night.  His footwork was nearly flawless, his technique was solid, and he used his hands very well.  Ephraim Salaam just got Wally Pipped, I do believe.
• I am going to tell myself that the injury to Louis Green and the ensuing five-minute delay took the steam out of our drive and that is why they had to settle for a field goal.  I am telling myself this and you can’t convince me otherwise.
• Remember not that long ago when Chris pointed out that Ahman Green’s 2007 injury was hardly a fluke—it was a straight-on hit to the knee, which happens to all running backs multiple times per year?  Well, you know, AT LEAST IT WAS A HIT!!!!  Seriously, you are going to hurt yourself on the VERY FIRST PLAY OF THE YEAR without so much as the defense getting a hand on you?  Really?  Honestly?  I don’t think I am alone in saying that I am fine with the team taking the cap hit and giving Green his walking limping papers.
• Cadillac Bar’s brunch buffet is fan-friggin’-tastic.  It is doubly great when you have 5 or 6 mimosas.  What’s that, you say?  Mimosas are lame?  Good sir, the fact that I am allowed to drink alcohol with breakfast without drawing scorn from others is far from lame.  Plus, you know…vitamin C.  No scurvy for me!
• Was it just me, or did it seem like Morlon Greenwood was trying to make me look like a jerk?  I spend two friggin’ weeks defending the guy and arguing that he’s way better than we give him credit for being and…um…wow.  He was horrid Saturday night.  No one should get owned like that on a Jay Cutler run, yet Morlon did.  And he was abused in the short passing game as well.  NOT GOOD, MORLON.
• Thanks to Lee, stacy, and grungedave recommending breakfast spots.  We tried to go to The Breakfast Klub on Saturday, but the line was around the block.
• The more I think about it, the less problem I have with Jacoby’s second punt return.  Granted, he did everything wrong—he ran backward, he changed directions too many times, he waited too long to switch hands—but he also juked past at least five would-be tacklers and, at the moment he fumbled, was about six inches from beating the last guy and taking that punt to the house.  No, I don’t want to see him doing that again, but I love that he is still that confident in the return game.  That’s the swagger we saw last year until he was destroyed by Hunter Smith.  Just hold on to the ball, son!
• Steve Slaton has ridiculous speed, but could get knocked over by a stiff breeze.  There were three plays where if he had made a real move or ran with a little more power, he could have made something big happen.  On both of the runs, he got arm-tackled by the last possible defender and, on the pass play, he thought he could juke an NFL lineman with nothing more than a head bob.  This ain’t Rutgers, man.
• The interior line of the future, aka Amobi Okoye and Frank Okam, really impressed me.  Amobi blew up a running play early and seemed to be playing with a better motor than at this point last season.  Big Frank annihilated two blockers and blew up a running play of his own late in the game.  Frank is still raw, no doubt about that, but he did nothing to lower my expectations of him.
• Why is food so much cheaper in Houston than in Little Rock?  I don’t get it.
• Dear Travis Johnson, Please stop diving late into piles just to “prove” that you are playing with intensity.  It’s stupid and it is going to cost us yards at some point.  In fact, why don’t you do us all a favor and just leave?  Love, Matt.
• David Anderson: Helluva game from the worst dancer in the history of the world.  I agree with Tim’s assessment, however, that we might have the best receiving corps in the NFL top to bottom.  We definitely have one of the fastest.
• I have no opinion on Chris Taylor getting the bulk of the carries.  Whether it is to see just we he has to offer or simply to keep the other people healthy, I am fine with it.  I would like it, however, if he could actually get 4 or 5 yards/carry in these games.  Whatever.
• Zac Diles: A+.
• OH…I almost forgot to mention this, but Kevin Bentley looks…how can I say this…FAT.  Not at all what I expected from ol’ LVJ.  When he came out for special teams work, he was hopping up and down to loosen up, and you could see a gut jiggling.  NOT COOL, Kevin.  Do you want to lose the bet?  Is that it?!?!
• Did anyone see Antwaun Molden?  Because I didn’t notice him at all.  Also, could we verify that Tim Bulman and Rosie Colvin were actually at the game?
• And, finally, though I already mentioned it once, it bears repeating that Mario Williams is an absolute man.  Be afriad, AFC South.  Be very afraid.

This arrived in my inbox this afternoon:

Subject: Mario Williams maybe [sic] overhyped

Message: I understand that Mario Williams is having a good camp, but look at what he is going against.  With the zone blocking system, during practice, he is going one-on-one against quicker, but SMALLER offensive lineman [sic].  This allows Mario to use his strength - power rush against the smaller offensive lineman.  Against other teams, most of whom don’t have zone blocking system, and have bigger offensive lineman, Mario Williams won’t have a size advantage and won’t be able to use his strength - power rush ; he will have to use his weakness against them : the finess [sic] rush techniques.

Quick, spot the main flaw in this argument!  (Note: While glaring, “punctuation and grammatical errors” is not the correct answer.)

Hint: To the best of my knowledge, Mario did not play any regular season games against the Texans last year.

Look, kids! Haley’s comet! Chris Brown practiced yesterday, meaning that his ruptured labia must be healing nicely.  I’m putting the over/under on the number of consecutive practices he makes it to at 3.5.

I got yer “low profile” right here. Want to see the most superficial look at Houston’s training camp?  Look no further than this write-up from the Sporting News.  For every decent point Greenberg makes, he follows it up with something asinine.  Seriously, find me someone who says Dunta Robinson is the best defensive player on this team and I’ll show you someone who is a total dipshit.  Dunta’s good, and he might be the “heart” of the defense, but DeMeco and Mario are WAY better respective to their positions than DR is.  (Also, if this guy really believes Frank Okam “won’t see the field much” in 2008, he probably also believes that Vince Young is a great QB.)

New rule: If you write fantasy football articles for a living and as recently as yesterday you were claiming that Chris Brown was your “pick to be the opening day starter,” you should probably go into a new line of work.  Or, you know, do a little research before you write this crap.

Finally. Caption this pic of Baby Shan.

After two days with no internet and two days in Missouri, I am back.  I know you missed me.  YOU know you missed me.  Here be the links.  Unless otherwise noted, h/t to Eric on these.

Scary.  Mario Williams and his teammates all agree—you still have not seen the best possible Mario Williams.  That sentence should make any QB on the Texans’ 2008 schedule piss himself.

Batman Returns? Ahman Green swears that last year was a fluke, that he’s not injury prone, and that he’s going to be back with a vengeance this year.  You’ll forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.

Greetings and Salutations.  Chris Taylor?  Earl Cochran.  Earl?  Chris.

Super quick as I have another busy day at the bill-payin’ job and Arkansas still hasn’t entered the Industrial, much less Digital, Age.  Mostly, this’ll be a link hurl. (h/t to Eric for his always lovely and much appreciated assistance)

Steve Slaton: Some dude we know wrote a nice article on our newest running back.

USA Today loves them some Mario: Second best defensive end?  I can live with that.  I still think Jared Allen is a bit erratic, but he deserves the #1 seed until next year.  If only Mario wasn’t such a damn bust.  Oh, but I do love that Elvin Bethea got some votes on the all-time side.

Bob McNair #7: Michael Silver at Yahoo! ranks the owners, and ours comes in at #7.  A winning season or two should have him soaring up that list.

Finally: Am I missing something here?

Yeah, pretty excited about Colvin.  Scared about Frenchy.  Chris Taylor?  Free agent?  Chris Taylor???  I think this just shows that the comicle still has an irrational man-crush on Taylor.  Yeah, I like the dude, too, but goodness.

Leg hugs to all!

but I need some motherflippin’ football.  Let’s go to the tape!

Now, let’s get ready for 2008…

Running behind today as I attempt to make it possible for me to not show up to work tomorrow at all.

Houston plays Houston?  Huh? Aside from an odd typo (he means “Jacksonville”), this is a pretty good write-up from Scouts, Inc., breaking down the importance of a fast start to the Texans’ season.  Long story short, winning early = better than losing.  Or something like that.

Aw, poop. Osi Umenyiora found Pete Prisco’s article ranking Mario Williams as the 6th best performer from last season to be a tad bit “ridiculous.” Because, you know, being the second-best DE on a team with a disgustingly good line and getting nearly half your sacks against a single, grossly overmatched LT is WAY BETTER than being completely dominant while teamed up with a rookie, two turds, and a DC that is functionally retarded.  (For the record, Mario was a little high on the list, but the real “ridiculous” part was leaving DeMeco off altogether. Die, Prisco.)  Also, federal law prohibits me from mentioning Umenyiora without linking to this.(NSFW)

No Sunchips for you! According to Adam Schefter of NFLN, the Texans are not interested in Cedric Benson.  “That guy?  Fuck him,” said Kubiak.  (This may or may not be an accurate quote.)

I can’t decide which of the sacks is my favorite. The first was athletic as hell, but the one-handed third was pretty damned cool. Oh well, just sit back and enjoy.

Also, never forget, Will Demps couldn’t catch clap in a whorehouse. I mean that figuratively, of course. Literally…that’s a different tale.

Filed this under BRB > Chron.com. I continued to be blown away with the substance the new BRBers are bringing to the Texans blogosphere.  Case in point, marroncito recently did a kick-ass interview with Tim Bulman.  I have to be honest–I assumed during the DHC/BFD discussion that Bulman was not long for this team.  After reading this piece, however, I REALLY hope I was wrong.  (Side note:  Has anyone found ANY news anywhere regarding DGDB&D fave Earl Cochran?)

But…wait…where are Bush and Young?!?!? Courtesy of Eric — who must not love me, because he’s never made me cry at work — we get CBSSportsline’s Top 50 players based on last year’s performance.  My only quibble with the list is DeMeco not making it (he was an honorable mention), but given that he was sorta hobbled near the end of the year, I suppose I can see it.  Maybe.  Kinda.

I guess we’re past the point of sneaking up on people.  A Yardbarker article listing teams that could be on the verge of a Super Bowl run.  Yes, we are on the list.  (And there’s a picturing of Mario making Jay Cutler his bitch at the bottom, which is always fun.)  Also funny, though the Saints are listed, Reggie Bush is not.

Finally.  Welcome back, BFD.  Despite what you say, there are many who would claim that I am not even the best blogger on this blog.  Like Tim.  Tim would totally say that because he’s a smartass.

And I want a blumpkin from Natalie Portman while I sit on a toilet made of solid platinum.  Vince Young wants to throw the deep ball more often this year and his new offensive coordinator might let him do it.  One problem: “Last year Young’s completion percentage jumped nearly 10 points from his rookie season, but he was 8-of-47 (17 percent) on attempts when the ball traveled 21 yards or more in the air. That was down from his rookie season, when he completed 18.9 percent of similar throws. The NFL average last season on passes of 21 yards or more in the air: 28.4 percent.”

Kearse to MADD: Go get me a beer, toots! Sticking with the B-ESFs for a moment, it seems The Freak was arrested over the weekend for driving while intoxicated in Nashville.  I still fail to understand how guys can get in trouble for DWI in the city where they play.  Aren’t there roughly 100,000 people within walking distance who would give him a ride home for free just to say they’d done it? (H/T to Eric for this link and the previous one.)

Mario and DeMeco slighted by Madden.  Not a single Texan was the highest-rated player at his position in the forthcoming Madden release.  According to the Madden overlords, Jason Taylor and Aaron Kampman, both rated 98, are higher than Mario Williams.  Brian Urlacher, also 98, is rated above DeMeco Ryans.  Now, while the latter is arguable, the former really isn’t–I can’t imagine a single D-coordinator in football would take Taylor or Kampman over Williams (or Jared Allen). (H/T to grungedave)

Duane Brown: Matt and I have talked about linking and talking less to and about the Comicle. However, since Jerome Solomon wrote this one, I’ll make an exception.

“Never Satisfied”: No, this isn’t a story by my wife. It’s about Mario’s new attitude. Eric sent both of these in, and as he said, it’s funny that nobody can do a story about Mario without mentioning Eric Metcalf Jr. and VY. Still, it’s a national piece by an AP reporter, which must mean something positive, right? Right???

Some (slightly meaningful) OTA quotes this morning:

Rick Smith: (on what cutting Gray says about QB Shane Boyd) “You know what, it says that Shane is making progress. It’s saying that Alex Brink is making progress. We’ve got some young quarterbacks that we really like that are doing a decent job and we feel comfortable with those guys going into training camp.” Comment: Yawn. Boyd may make the active roster, but, after we cut Gray, I’m leaning toward that we have two quarterbacks active on game day, not three.

Rick Smith: (on what the team will do with T/G Charles Spencer) “Well, we don’t know. We’ve got a lot of conversations to have between now and training camp. His rehab process has gone slow, and we had hoped that it would have been a little bit better at this point and so from a lot of standpoints, that’s a little disappointing. But we’re going to continue to be patient with Charles and give him every opportunity that we can to make it back.” Comment: Hello, PUP.

Rick Smith: (on DT Travis Johnson) “Travis is going to be fine. He’s rehabbing and he’s responding well to the treatment and so we expect that he’s going to be ready to go.” Comment: Travis went to the Crystal Pistol and personally asked every fifth dancer to inspect his groin for damage.

Coach Kubiak: (on negotiations with LB Rosevelt Colvin) “We are still talking to him. I think we are still a part of his decision process. We will wait to see what happens.” Comment: This is essentially what Rick Smith said, too. That they are being coy is not surprising, and hopefully it’s a good sign.

Got a super busy real-job day today, so play nicely amongst yourselves. Leg hugs for everybody!

Edit:  Oops, used Stacy’s link on the Mario story, not Eric’s.  They both sent it.  Carry on.

Cars Go Vroom: Remember that Lamborghini video from last year that showed Mario Williams driving roughly 600 MPH?  Yeah, totally understandable…because Mario has an addiction.  To cars.  No, seriously.  ”At age 21, Williams actually entered the league with a list of expensive vehicles he planned to purchase after being drafted.”

Overstating The Obvious: From the AP’s Kristie Rieken: “With [Dunta] Robinson likely out until midseason with an injury, [Fred] Bennett knows it’s now up to him to lead the group until his mentor returns.”  Tomorrow: Water is wet, the sky is blue, and Cowboys fans are insufferable.

Our bad: As first reported at BRB, Wal-Mart pulled a total dick move and refused to give underprivileged kids ice and water when Andre Johnson “only” purchased 677 bikes (at full retail) instead of the 750 he ordered (and they failed to provide). Well, apparently Wal-Mart realized that this was potentially bad PR, so they donated 400 free bikes to the cause, as well as food, water, and ice.

Daily Colvin Story: Not only did Rosy visit the Texans (and Colts), he underwent physicals for both teams and, according to Rotoworld, passed both.  As an aside, Rotoworld also speculates that the Texans are primarily interested in him as a SLB, which I am totally in favor of.

Note: I am leaving for Gulf Shores around lunchtime, so this is it for me today most likely.

(The Boston Globe column where I got the Rosy Colvin story is written by Mike Reiss.  Say what you will about the Pats, but his blog is fantastic and is the measuring stick for all newspaper-owned team blogs in my mind.  Anyway, Reiss does a daily thing called “Quick Hits,” where he posts all the random little news blurbs and links to thing of interest to Pats fans.  I am going to start doing the same thing here, simply because I think it’s a great way to (a) put more content out there, (b) get a morning discussion started, and (c) put a little space between the fake conversations and dick jokes.  Now, of course, I am an idiot and am starting this the day before I leave to go to the beach for a week, so it might be a little hit or miss at first, but we’ll hit our stride.  And BFD is welcome to do it in my absence. –Matt)

Dog Days of Summer Come Early:  Ex-Texan Steve Foley was formerly charged with a felony stemming from the March 26 incident in which his pit bulls attacked a woman and killed her puppy.  Foley turned himself in yesterday, but according to the Fort Bend County Jail, he has since been released.

Texas Rose?: Following up on yesterday’s Colvin visit, the linebacker told KRIV (Houston) that he is completely healthy and that “[b]oth parties are interested. We need to work something out.”

Unblockable: Mario Williams is listed as one of ten veteran players who turned heads at OTAs and/or minicamps.  Money quote: “At times this spring, Williams has looked unblockable.”

Well, that was certainly interesting.  And surprisingly informative, really.  But, back to what really matters.  According to the Boston Globe,

Former Patriots outside linebacker Rosevelt Colvin, now a free agent, is scheduled to visit the Houston Texans today.

I know we have a solid starter at WLB and three guys vying for the title of starting SLB, but I like this move.  I like it a lot, actually.  Colvin is definitely on the downward slope of his career, but he would bring the kind of veteran leadership (and winning experience) that a young LB corps can always benefit from, as well as being a mentor for Zac Diles as Diles transitions to the outside.

The short article also mentions that Colvin previously met with the Colts.  If we can get him on the cheap, I think you’ve got to make this move.  Worst case scenario, you cut him loose if he can’t hack it.  Best case, though, he gives you a solid backup to Diles (sorry, Kevin) and makes it so Chaun Thompson is more expendable and more able to be used as a pass-rushing DE opposite Mario.  Win-win, baby!

Day 1 of minicamp is in the books. Which means that day one of the Alex Gibbs era, the return of Barbaro, the likely immolation of Jacques Reeves, and a whole host of other stuff. Mmm…tastes like chicken, err, football.

Anyway, most of the quotes coming out after today’s workouts were what you’d expect. The rookies were wide-eyed and thrilled to be there; the team looks good, but has to shake off some rust; everyone’s goal for minicamp is just to improve and get comfortable with the new pieces and plans; blah blah blah.

One thing jumped out, however–that BFD’s fear seems likely to come to fruition. At least if take Kubes at his word.

(on how T Duane Brown looked) “Well, I’ll have to go back and see but, you know, we’ve got to see how far we can bring this kid in the next month and so we put him right in there with the first group today. And I know it was very tough on Ephraim (Salaam), and y’all know I have a great deal of respect for Ephraim and I can understand why it was tough, but as I explained to him, I’ve got to see how far I can bring this young man. But I know Ephraim’s going to do his job and I’m expecting good things from him, but we felt like we had to put this kid to work right away.

(on if T Duane Brown is first on the depth chart) “Yes, he’ll be working with the first group, and that’s the only way we’re going to find out if this kid’s going to get to where we want him to go and how quick he can get there. You draft these kids in the first round to come in and play and that’s nothing against Ephraim (Salaam), as I said, and we’ve had this conversation. But I understand the difficulty in that, but we as coaches feel like we have to put this kid to work right away.”

Hmm…what to make of this? I’d say (a) Gibbs wants his guy to play and he wants it NOW, (b) Kubiak realizes that the better half of Black Salaami isn’t all that good, and (c) Duane Brown really is the archetype ZBS LT that we need. Plus, there is probably a little (d) “tell the fanbase the kid is a bona fide #1 just to keep the natives from becoming restless” in there as well. Lord knows no one wants restless Houstonians running around.

At this point, I am inclined to believe that Brown will be the opening day starter at LT. Now, I understand the fears of him being eaten alive by the various monster RDEs in the AFC South, but there are two things that make me think he’ll be okay if he is the starter from dia una (takes large swig of the Kool-Aid):

First, I am just telling myself (over and over and over) that, Gibbs’ pet or not, he will not be the starter until he can really be the starter. By which I mean, trial-by-fire only goes so far, especially when you are talking about the guy who is protecting the blindside of your franchise QB’s surgically repaired shoulder. So he is only going to get this LT gig if he can really do it. Will he struggle against KVB, et al? Possibly. But the question is not can he stop KVB on every single down; the question is can he stop KVB (or whomever) more consistently than Salaam can? If the answer is yes, then by all means, throw him in there and let him show me that I was wrong when I broke the TV remote after his selection.

Second, though, I am taking some comfort in this little snippet from BRB:

In his first game at right tackle he faced none other than Mario Williams. At his post-draft press conference, Duane was asked to comment about his encounter with Williams.

“I remember that night like it was yesterday. I was two weeks into the position; it was the opener and a night game at NC State. (Mario Williams) is a very intimidating figure. I held my own that night and it was the beginning of my transition. Being able to go against him in practice, he is one of the best defensive ends in the league. I think practicing against him will be great for me and will help me.”

He started at right tackle for two full seasons before moving over to left tackle in his senior year. In those three years, Brown racked up 42 consecutive starts.

In his senior season, Brown boasted an outstanding 89% blocking consistency average. By comparison, the overall first pick in the 2008 NFL draft, Jake Long, had an 88% blocking consistency rating in his final year at Michigan.

As we all remember, Mario was a bad motor scooter in college. If Brown really did hold his own against Super Mario in his first ever game as a tackle, then he has some serious natural-born talent hidden away in there. And, for all the effort he gave us last year, that is something that Ephraim Salaam just doesn’t really possess.

Of course, if I am wrong to optimistic now (and, conversely, right to have been pissed on Draft Day), I reserve the right to give him a horrible nickname and point out again and again that we already had a ZBS LT on the roster in Eric Winston. I’m a fickle mofo like that.

As if you hadn’t noticed, I have REALLY been slacking off over here of late. I don’t have an excuse for it other than actual work at work is cutting into my sweet, sweet blogging time. I am contemplating lighting the place on fire just so I can get a vacation.

In any event, I’ll try to be better about it leading up to the draft. For now, allow me to bust out the old bulleted list.

• ***I have been fairly open about my hope that the Texans take a defensive tackle (read: Kentwan Balmer) at 18, followed by a DE in the third. Not to rehash old arguments, but my reasoning basically goes that a space-eating NT would make life easier for Amobi and Mario, thus making life easier on the secondary, AND I think Earl Cochran might have enough talent to become a rotational DE. All that said, I just took a peak at Anthony Weaver’s stats for the last two years and I am starting to think that the “Draft a DE first” crowd is on to something. One fucking sack in two years? Seriously?!? I mean, I knew the dude had been more or less invisible, but jesus titty fucking christ, even I could get one sack in two years. Hell, with Mario opposite him, Weaver should be able to vulture one or two sacks per year just by way of falling on QBs who are scrambling away from our good DE. And he’s the highest-paid Texans? Fantastic. I am getting angry…better move on.
• ***As first mention by new-BRBer, SOLIS, the Texans re-signed C.C. Brown. I’m of two minds about this. First, C.C. has basically been asstastic for most of his Texans tenure, so one wonders just why the team would throw dollars at him. On the other hand, though, his biggest problem (and the primary cause of his asstasticness) is not a lack of talent but a complete lack of understanding how to position himself. This being the case, C.C. might fall under the same “Ray Rhodes project” label as Jacques Reeves. In any event, I guess I like the idea of giving him a year under a good teacher before kicking him to the proverbial curb.
• ***Ray Rhodes cannot fix Petey Faggins. Jesus himself could not fix Petey Faggins. If Jesus and Durga had a baby and that baby married the current Dali Lama, the spawn of that relationship could not fix Petey Faggins.
• ***Someone emailed me this article from 2001 about Megan Manfull. Pretty boring shit, really; it’s the kind of stuff you would imagine in a fluff piece about “oooh, look, girls can write about sports, too!” What did stand out, however, was one quote from Manfull herself.
  

  ‘My mother taught me so much, Megan said. ‘I got started in seventh grade on our junior high newspaper. I thought it was fun, and I’d come home at night and she’d give me her lessons from her high school classes. I learned to put questions together and do interviews. I was the only junior high reporter turning in stories with quotes and sources in them.’

  See, kids, this what we call irony. Manfull’s memory of starting in print media was that she was the only one citing sources and using actual quotes and now she is part of a paper where such tactics are again missing. This isn’t so much “funny ha ha” as “funny sad,” I guess.

• ***Finally, in generic NFL news, the league approved a number of rule changes for next year. A couple are common sense stuff–FGs are now reviewable, teams can defer after winning a coin toss–but three could have some actual impact. First, one defensive player is allowed to have a radio in his helmet (aka The Spygate Rule). SOLIS already covered this one. Second, force outs have been eliminated, meaning that player has to land in-bounds for a ball to be complete, regardless of whether he was pushed out by the DB or not. This could be huge–larger, more physical corners will become more valuable; smaller, lighter WRs will be at a disadvantage along the sideline; and jump balls along the sides or in the endzone will become even less likely to be completed. Finally, the five-yard facemask penalty has been removed, meaning that incidental contact is ok, but that any twisting or turning of the head will be 15 yards if flagged. Other than Corky Johnson, our team plays pretty clean and smart on defense, so I think I like this change and that it will–if anything–benefit the guys in Battle Red.

With Jason Taylor injured and skipping out on the Pro Bowl, it seemed as if the gross injustice of Mario Williams being left off the roster was about to rectified. Just like it once seemed that Heath Ledger had a long, distinguished career ahead of him.

Instead, the powers that be have decided that Aaron Schobel will replace Taylor, leaving Mario still on the outside looking in. I will give someone a bright, shiny quarter if he or she can explain to me how Schobel’s 6.5 sack, 95 tackle season makes him a more deserving Pro Bowler than Mario Williams. There’s an extra quarter in it if you can explain it without using “because Schobel went down on Roger Goodell and swallowed.”