An Open Letter to Reggie Bush
Sep 14, 2008 2006 Draft, Reggie Bush, Reggie Bush shat himself, Tremendous Busts
Dear Fuckface,
When you are drafted #2 overall to play RUNNING BACK and are being held to 2.8/carry by a Redskins team that got throttled last week, you should probably not taunt as you RETURN A PUNT, even if it is for a TD. Because doing that makes you a complete fucking douchebag; after all, you wouldn’t be returning punts if you were a three-down back. You fucking retard.
FOAD,
Matt
All-Time Texans Team - Defense - DT
Aug 20, 2008 All-Time Texans, Amobi Okoye is an adult, Awfulness, Frank Okam is an evil genius, Inflamed body parts, Tremendous Busts
You saw the previous discussion of the paucity of talent at defensive end. You sobbed silently at your desk while discussing free safeties and strong safeties. You were sure the worst was behind us. But wait, there’s less!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to talk about Defensive Tackle.
Now, if you’ve been reading this blog for more than about a week, you know that I scream and rant and rave about the need to differentiate between the Nose Tackle and the Under Tackle as two wholly different positions in the 4-3. And I would love to do that here. Unfortunately, even though the team ran a 3-4 for YEARS, Frank Okam is the first true two-gap NT we’ve ever had and he’s yet to play a real game, so I can’t hardly just pick him and move on. Thus, unfortunately, the DTs are getting lumped together.
The candidates:
Seth Payne
Steve Martin
Travis Johnson
Anthony Maddox
Amobi Okoye
*looks at list, throws up*
While he could have been a solid under tackle, Seth Payne was in no way, shape or form a nose tackle, even in a 4-3. Yet he played the position for years in a 3-4. Which goes a LOOOOOONG way toward explaining Jamie Sharper’s ridiculous tackle numbers. Now, to be fair to Payne, he busted his ass for us and played surprisingly well ok. His nine sacks, two forced fumbles, and 196 tackles over five seasons are not HOF numbers, but they are certainly better than nothing.
Despite being almost heavy enough to look like a nose tackle on television, Steve Martin made Seth Payne look like Casey Hampton. (Side note: That 2003 line of Corey Sears, Steve Martin, and Jerry DeLoach might be the worst front three ever assembled.)
Travis Johnson. Bah. In three years (24 starts), Johnson has 1 sack, 1 INT, 78 tackles, and 6 passes defended. He has never once forced or recovered a fumble. I’m not even sure how that is possible as a nose tackle, but whatever. But, hey, at least we didn’t waste a high draft pick on him! Oh…damn.
Anthony Maddox—a man who was delivering furniture when the Texans called him for a tryout and who only started 3 games last year because he lost his starting gig—has 4 career sacks, a FF, a FR, a 47-yard TD on that recovery, and 53 tackles. Which makes him better than Steve Martin and Travis Johnson combined.
Amobi Okoye had 5.5 sacks, 32 tackles, and a forced fumble in his only season. This despite it being painfully clear that he hit a real wall around week 12, which is what happens when you are drafted at 19 freakin’ years old.
Result: I am going with Seth Payne and Amobi Okoye for the all-timers.
*Note: I intentionally left out the guys who are really DEs but would move inside on occasion like Weaver and Smith.
Kickoff
Aug 12, 2008 2008 Season, 2008 Training Camp, Andre Johnson, Colvin, His name is Earl, Kickoff, Pancakes McTard, Tremendous Busts
Homerism. Fun exchange over at Mile High Report. Apparently, for those of us who didn’t get the memo, this is the year that Brandon Marshall establishes himself as the best WR in all of football. This statement is, apparently, based on (a) Marshall lighting up our awful secondary (11 catches, no TD) and (b) something written at Sporting News.
Cliff Washburn was signed yesterday. Who? Exactly. Here’s the details. (h/t Eric)
Paycheck. It’s no secret around here that Earl Cochran is one of “my guys,” in that I think he has some upside and I prefer him to Anthony Weaver. Well, good news (even though it comes from Pancakes) is that Cochran is being given a real opportunity to take the starting gig away from Weaver. Which brings up an interesting side question—if Weaver was already limited to two downs because Colvin is going to be the third-down guy more often than not, would Weaver losing his starting job altogether make him the worst free agent signing in Texans’ history?
UPDATE: Hugging Harold Reynolds has an AFC South postcard preview. I winced, then I laughed at the other three.
Bad Would Be An Upgrade
Aug 4, 2008 2006 Draft, Hype, I was told there would be no math, Overrated, Reggie Bush, Stats, Tremendous Busts
Courtesy of Dave, we get the following tidbit from Fatty Starbucks about everyone’s favorite punt returner:
Saturday, July 26, New Orleans Saints camp
JACKSON, Miss. — “When you look at your first two years and you see the 3.8 yards per carry, do you want to puke?” I asked Reggie Bush, who was sitting on a golf cart on the running track surrounding the football field at Millsaps College.
Bush smiled. “Well, kind of. I want nine, 10 yards a carry. But I think the difference with me this year is I’m smarter. I realize four yards is a good run sometimes. I appreciate four yards; I’m not disappointed when I get stopped after four yards.”
I have heard this before. This is what the Saints were saying going into the 2007 season, and Bush wasn’t any more explosive in his second year. The difference this year, the Saints hope, is Bush was a workout fanatic around the New Orleans complex in the offseason, with lots of the strong-burst lifting (squats, mostly) that give a back the kind of explosion through holes we haven’t seen enough of in Bush. He’s most certainly on trial, and he feels it.
“What I did in college was not a fluke,” he said. “And the NFL will not be a fluke for me either.”
OK, first things first, the article already gives Bush too much credit: he has only averaged 3.7/carry over his career, not the 3.8 the author generously gives him. Second, being “not disappointed” after you get stopped for four yards isn’t really the best outlook a guy can have, especially when the rumor is that he is too soft to be a real running back. After all, Ron “Meringue” Dayne averaged 4.0/carry last year and I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was thrilled with the guy.
Now, yes, I realize that Reggie is actually saying something along the lines of “if I can always get four and then get more than that from time to time, I’ll be happy.” Fine. Whatever. But here’s the rub: there is NOTHING to suggest that Bush is even capable of getting to that level.
In fact, let’s take it one step further. Let’s get crazy. Let’s throw this statement out there and see if it floats:
Reggie Bush is an offensive liability
There. I said it. What? You want proof? Fine. First, some numbers, as compiled by the inimitable bfd:
Basically, every time Bush touches the ball, he is hurting his team. The only exception to this rule was as a receiver in 2006 where his 8.4 yards/catch was higher than other Saints backs. In other words, Bush is an offensive sinkhole.
In 2006, his 3.6 yards/rush was below that of the team without him. In addition, most of his 2006 numbers are skewed by a single game against the Giants that single-handedly raises his yards/rush by nearly .5 yards for the entire season.
In 2007, both his yards/rush and yards/catch were well below that of the rest of the Saints’ RBs. Only Mike Karney and Drew Brees, with their 34 combined rushes, managed worse rushing totals. On the receiving side, even Karney’s 6.0 yards/reception were better than Bush’s horrific 5.7 yards/catch. In fact, Bush’s yards/catch of 5.7 was third worst in the league, but he received the ball as many times as the two people below him, Willis McGahee and Ryan Grant, combined.
Bush’s 3.7 yards/rush in 2007 ranks him 38th out of 49 qualifiers, but considering that Aaron Stecker and Pierre Thomas both had more yards/rush more than Bush, Bush’s poor numbers are a likely function of his suckiness moreso than issues with the line. (On the other hand, Adrian Peterson and Ced Benson ranked 46 and 47, respectively, which means that there was probably something more than just the RB that was impacting the rushing equation in Chicago.)
Then, one must consider from where Bush is scoring. Of Bush’s 10 rushing touchdowns, six have been from one yard out, and only 10 and 15 yard rushes—the latter being his longest—are even in double-digit yards. Bush has four receiving touchdowns, only one of which is longer than five yards—his 61-yarder that got endless, unnecessary replays. As a running back, Bush is showing all the explosiveness of Tom Rathman. Which is to say, none.
If Bush isn’t the worst RB in the league, his only real competition is Cedric Benson, but that could also be a matter of offensive line play. When compared to his peers on the Saints, Bush is clearly the worst of the bunch and pretty easily an offensive black hole on the roster. He’s the football equivalent of Neifi Perez, a player who gets too many touches for the incredible lack of skills he brings to the field.
Here’s hoping they play him more.
Indeed, brother.
“But, hold on,” some of you must be screaming. “That’s not fair! The Saints offense as a whole was less good in 2007 than in 2006, so of course his yards/catch fell off!”
Really? In 2006, the Saints averaged 5.8 yards/play. In 2007, they averaged 5.5. They did go from first to fifth in total offense, but does that really explain a drop-off from above-average receiving threat to abysmal? I think not.
Besides, a swing of .3 yards/play is far from uncommon. The Colts had a .4 yard drop-off last year. The Chargers lost .7. And so on, and so forth. Small flutuations happen, even in the league’s best offenses. 30 yards per game (the Saints’ loss) is not a huge deal and it definitely does not explain how the World’s Greatest Weapon loses 2.7 yards/catch.
But wait, there’s more! Some more numbers, this time courtesy of me.
Saints’ overall yards/play in 2007: 5.5
Saints’ yards/play on plays where Reggie touched the ball: 4.8
Saints’ yards/play on plays were he did not touch the ball: 5.8Saints’ yards/carry overall: 3.7
Bush’s yards/carry overall: 3.7
Other Saints’ RBs yards/carry: 3.9Other Saints’ yards/catch: 10.6
Saints’ yards/catch overall: 6.8
Bush’s yards/catch overall: 5.7
Filed under “Hmm, Things That Make You Go.” OK, now I hear some of you saying that the loss of Deuce McAllister is why Bush’s yards/catch went down. It’s some argument like “well, without Deuce in there to keep people honest, teams could key on Bush.” Whatever you say, chief.
Oh, except for this: In 2007, when Deuce was out, Bush averaged 6.1 yards/catch. When Deuce was in (or “loose,” if you will), even for part of the game, Bush put up 5.0 yards/catch. Not the greatest sample sizes, I know, but it still makes that Deuce argument seem questionable.
As an aside, I should throw in that the whole “teams had to account for Deuce” argument strikes me as particularly silly. If McAllister, who averaged a whopping 4.3 yards/carry in 2006, had that much effect on the offense as a whole (and Bush in particular), don’t you think you’d see a marked drop-off in the Saints’ offensive production when Deuce didn’t play? Yet, as we already covered, any drop-off was nigh negligible and is just as easily explained by “Reggie Bush brings everyone’s averages down.”
Also, to those who would suggest that Marques Colston’s yards/catch also dropped by 2.5 yards, so there must have been something bigger at play, I have three counter-arguments. First, Colston was an unknown when he entered the league in 2006 and, as such, he did not face CB1s on a regular basis, at least at first. By the start of 2007, he was the biggest threat (by far) in the passing game and, as such, was always defended by the opponents’ best CBs. Second, Colston had 28 more catches in 2007, which would make it more difficult to keep up a ridiculous 14.8 yards/catch. (Hell, Randy Moss averaged 15.2 in his record-breaking season last year. 14.8 is great. Only four WRs last season had as many catches as Colston and had a higher yards/catch.) Third, while Bush’s performance was so bad that it pulled the team’s yards/play down to 5.5 (remember, it was 5.8 when he didn’t touch the ball), the team only averaged 4.8 yards/play when Colston didn’t touch the ball, so comparing his drop to Reggie’s drop is not exactly apples-to-apples.
So, that’s it, right?
Of course not. We would be remiss if we didn’t also throw the following numbers at you:
Reggie’s 8 total fumbles were tops among non-QBs and his 7 rushing fumbles were tops among everyone.
Reggie’s 10 dropped passes (in 12 games) tied him for third in the league (and tied him with people who played 16 games).
The claims about the Saints’ offensive lines woes are likely overblown, as they ranked between 7th and 11th overall in 2007, depending on who you ask.
Behind that line, Reggie Bush ranked 56th out of 56 according to Football Outsiders’ DPAR (Defense-Adjusted Points above Replacement). His DPAR of -8.9 means, in short, that he was worth 8.9 points less than the average NFL backup RB.
Reggie’s career-long run remains at 25 yards. 25. Cedric Benson has a career long of 43 and he’s trying to find a job right now. Benson also had at least one run over 30 yards every year in the league.
SO…what does all this mean? At this point, I am not willing to go all out an call him a bust. That said, however, I will point out that RB is generally agreed to be, by far, the easiest position to transition to from college. DEs and QBs can take three or four years to develop (though Mario is certainly ahead of the curve), while many RBs can and do play well from the jump. Reggie, on the other hand, has not even consistently put up numbers worthy of Blair Thomas.
His numbers do track fairly well with Eric Metcalf, however. So he’s got that going for him. Which is nice.
Top 5 Worst Offensive Texans
Jun 24, 2008 Inanity, Ranting, Sandy Vag, Top 5, Tremendous Busts
Picking up where we left off yesterday, with the same 10-start requirement in place.
5. Corey Bradford, WR. I don’t ask for a whole lot from my WRs, but I do expect things like, oh, at least 700 yards receiving or a fuckton of TDs. I got neither from Bradford, despite all the talk that he was going to give us a true WR1. Instead, we got 500 yards and 4.5 TDs per season for 4 years. Asshole.
4. Todd Wade, OT. Helluva price tag for a guy who couldn’t even play RIGHT tackle very well. It seems almost unfair to include offensive linemen in this list since we don’t know how much better they might have looked without Captain Fetal under Center, but who really cares about “fair” when you are bitching about your own team? Perception is everything, baby! And I perceive Wade to have been a severely overpaid turd who couldn’t block you in a game of Connect Four.
3. Jabari Holloway, TE. Ah, Jabari…the third piece of the TE shitheap (that also included Joppru and Miller). You couldn’t catch (they dropped you and kept Billy Miller the following season), you couldn’t block (Mark Breuner looked like a god-send after you were gone), yet you started 17 games in two seasons. Odd.
2. Seth Wand, OT. Wand paired with Wade to form the least formidable set of bookends I think I’ve ever seen. Hell, Wand is the posterchild for the whole “The Texans Need An Offensive Line” mantra that the press has fed us for six seasons. Or, at least, he would be the posterchild if he’d ever been good enough for non-Texans fans to remember who the hell he was. I hate you, Seth Wand. I hate you so very, very much.
1. David Carr, QB. As if there was any doubt who would be number one?
Also receiving votes: Jabar Gaffney, Milford Brown (and Tony Hollings would be on here for sure but for the 10-start thingie.)
***All stats again from Pro Football Reference.
Top 5 Worst Defensive Texans
Jun 23, 2008 Awards, Awfulness, Frank Okam is an evil genius, Top 5, Travis Johnson is a piece of shit, Tremendous Busts
Back to the lists, bitches. You call it filler, I call it…well…filler. But that’s beside the point. This post was originally going to be Top 5 Worst Texans, regardless of position. After a short conversation with Tim, however, I quickly realized that there are, sadly, too many deserving players to narrow the list to five. The defensive guys come first here because we are all about defense in these parts. We’ll cover the offense tomorrow.
Note: The only requirement to be on this list was a minimum of 10 games started in a Texans uni. Thus, Boselli, Joppru, etc., are not eligible.
5. Cory Sears, DE. The fact that Sears started 12 games at LDE for the team in 2003 (also known as 3 B.M. (Before Mario)) should tell you all you need to know about the early Texans’ defensive line. He racked up an “impressive” 1 sack and 26 solo tackles. He also had one sack the previous season (4 B.M.) as a non-starter. And they say we didn’t have a pass rush???
4. Travis Johnson, DT. One career sack. One career INT. 58 solo tackles in three years. Roughly 30 personal fouls for blatant stupidity. About the only thing he’s got going for him is that the coaching staff is convinced that he will still live up to his draft status. Well, until he is officially supplanted by evil genius Frank Okam.
3. Phillip Buchanon, CB. Showtime’s failures have been chronicled here over the last week in these Top 5 lists, so there’s not much to add. Well, other than the fact that he tackled worse than any player we’ve ever had.
2. Matt Stevens, FS. Tim once relayed to me that he tried to name BRB “Shaking Matt Stevens,” but it was vetoed as being too obscure. It wouldn’t have been the least bit obscure to Texans fans, however, who still remember Matt Stevens as the poster child for blown coverage, failed tackles, and general shittiness. He apparently was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident, but, contrary to popular belief, this occurred after he left the Texans organization. (I’m going to Hell.)
1. DeMarcus “Petey” Faggins, CB. Wow…where to start? It’s not like Faggins suckiness in 2007 was a sudden change of course — he’d sucked badly enough in previous seasons that I spent most of last preseason screaming (in written form) that he should not be starting. Then came the Atlanta game. Ugh. I know the whole story of “he’s a pretty decent nickel corner” and, while that might have been true at one point, moving him back to nickel last year didn’t really help his play. Still, I wonder how true the idea that he was a good third corner is. He was playing with some pretty subpar secondaries throughout his days as NCB, so it’s just as likely that the QBs were picking on other players a lot of the time. Either way, Petey sucked at some level then, sucks horrifically now, and wins the honor of the Suckiest Suck to ever Suck. I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening.
Also receiving votes: Jerry DeLoach, Lewis Sanders, Marlon McCree.
**All stats courtesy of Pro Football Reference.
Top 5 Worst Decisions By Texans Brass
Jun 20, 2008 2002 Draft, 2004 Draft, Anger, Awfulness, Bad Idea Jeans, Sandy Vag, Top 5, Travis Johnson is a piece of shit, Tremendous Busts
As we continue channeling my inner Rob Gordon, we turn to another not-so-pleasant list of memories: the top 5 all-time front office fuck-ups. I promise to move on to something positive at some point, but that ain’t today, bitches.
(H/T to Dave for the topic idea.)
5. Signing Todd Wade. In 2004, we gave this turd a 6-year, $30MM contract with $10MM signing bonus. Over the next two seasons, he received just over $12MM in salary and bonuses. In that same timeframe, he contributed roughly $48 worth of actual quality gameplay.
4. Refusing to employ a 3-4 NT in a 3-4 Defense. You know, I liked Seth Payne. You probably liked Seth Payne. Seth Payne was a seemingly nice dude and he worked his ass off. In a 4-3, defense, that kind of attitude and work ethic might have paid big dividends. In a 3-4, when you are only 303 lbs, that kind of effort is necessary to stay afloat. Sam Adams, Casey Hampton, Jamal Williams–these are 3-4 NTs. Seth Payne was not, yet we never ever got one, despite running that D for 4+ years. I hate you Dom Capers.
3. Trading back to take Travis Johnson over Derrick Johnson. Man…just…I mean…FUCK. Derrick Johnson was the dude I wanted most in that draft, he was sitting RIGHT THERE, and we decide to say, “nah, fuck it, let’s take this other Johnson.” Great. And then that Other Johnson turns out to be a retard dickhead who hasn’t lived up to his potential at all. AWESOME. HAPPY DAYS. I’M MOVING ON BEFORE SOMEONE DIES.
2. The David Carr Experience. I had about three different, Carr-specific decisions for this list, but I figured I’d just lump them together and give him the penultimate place on this list. Let’s see–passing over Julius Peppers–who was an obvious monster–to take a Fresno State pretty boy with a meddling daddy? Letting him “play” for five seasons, despite a mountain of evidence piling up that he was either too shell-shocked or too shitty to play the position? Watching him seem oblivious to his own shittiness and grin like a retard even after losses? Keeping him around for an additional $8MM roster bonus as some sort of reclamation project for Kubiak? Wow, Dave. Thanks for the memories. May you burn in hell.
1. Trading for Phillip Buchanon. On the surface, for a moment or three, this seemed like a decent move by the Texans. I mean, the pricetag was high (a 2d and a 3d), but Buchanon had shown the ability to be a top-flight corner, and now we had him. Of course, any love and admiration for P.Buch evaporated like a wet fart in August once he took the field and displayed a complete inability to tackle anyone. At all. Ever. I still have nightmares of his attempted “tackle” against Pittsburgh.
Also receiving votes: The continued employment of Petey Faggins, the cost of Jason Babin, throwing multiyear money at Ahman Green, and 94% of the other decisions made by Casserly/Capers
Top 5 Texans Draft Busts
Jun 19, 2008 Top 5, Tremendous Busts
So, I was sitting around, thinking about the Texans and trying to come up with something to post. Then it hit me–Lists! People love lists. Lists tell us things and give us order. That’s a potent one-two punch right there. So, the plan is to crank out a bunch of Texans-themed top five lists between now and training camp.
Building off of ol’ Anal-Eze himself, I figured the first list could be the top five biggest Draft Pick flops. By “draft,” I am including both the annual draft and our expansion draft. To be a flop, I figure a player has to have been taken in the first three rounds (and even the third round is stretching it). A fourth-round pick who doesn’t pan out is not a bust, he just sucks.
With no further ado, let’s light this candle.
5. Bennie Joppru. (2003 Draft, Round 2) I’ll admit it, I thought he was going to be awesome. Of course, that is likely because I am a horrible Michigan homer. He was so fun to watch in college, though, hauling in 53 catches his last season in Ann Arbor. Plus, he kicked the shit out of a Michigan wrestler outside a bar.
4. Ryan Young. (2002 Expansion Draft, Second Pick) Oh, sure, another O-lineman gets more credit for being a bust in this draft, but Young was just as bad. A 6-5, 320 lb OT who started all of 8 games as a Texan. Yep, that’s exactly how we wanted our second EVER pick to work out.
3. David Carr. (2002 Draft, Round 1) You thought I’d have him higher, didn’t you? Don’t get me wrong, Carr sucks, and I definitely consider him a bust, but 3 was as high as I could put him. You know a QB has been bad when you feel vindicated after watching him suck for another team as well.
2. Jason Babin. (2004 Draft, Round 1) On the plus side, he did have a fairly good rookie year, despite being asked to play a different position in the NFL than he did in college. On the minus, however, we gave up a WHOLE lot to get this guy and he gave us exactly one productive year plus some sacks as a situational guy for a couple years more.
1. Tony Boselli. (2002 Expansion Draft, First Pick) Fuck.
Also receiving votes: Dave Ragone, Travis Johnson, Jerome Mathis, Charles Hill
Kickoff
Jun 19, 2008 2008 Season, Colvin, Money Money Money, Secondary issues are primary, Teams that aren't the Texans, Tremendous Busts
Maximum Reward, Minimum Kwan. Via BRB, who still collectively possess the will to read John McClain, we get the terms of Rosevelt Colvin’s contract. On a scale of 1-10, this deal ranks a solid 9. Worst case scenario, Colvin makes the team, gets injured and placed on IR in week 1, and we cut him as a June 1 casualty next year–he only counts $250,000 against the cap in 2009 and 2010. Best case scenario, we have a bona fide third-down edge rusher and sometime LB who still isn’t costing us much of anything.
Hello, Vegas? Gimme $500 on black. D’oh…ok, I’ll send you a check. Thinking of betting on the Texans week 1 game against the Stillers? Here’s some interesting background regarding both teams against the spread and straight up last year. If you read this and win, I get 5%.
What say you? Not long ago, we signed the other Jimmy Williams and I lamented the fact that I’d hope it was the Jimmy Williams we’d all heard off. Well, Atlanta went at cut that J-Dub yesterday, raising an interesting question: Do you take a flier on a guy who hardly got to play because his secondary coach hated him, but who is really fast and was thought to be the best DB in the draft only a few years ago? Stated different, do you take a guy whose talent should make him light-years better than CC Brown and see what Ray Rhodes can do with him?
His mediocrity is faster than your mediocrity
Apr 14, 2008 2006 Draft, 2008 Season, Reggie Bush, Tremendous Busts
The headline says it all:
Bush wants greater success.
Yeah, it seems that the World’s Most Overrated Punt Returner™ is looking to improve. Or, perhaps more accurately, he is looking to make people re-buy into the hype that he doesn’t suck.
“Now I’ve got to come and have an equal or better year [than what Chris Paul is having for the Hornets],” Bush said. “I’ve got to get the crowd chanting MVP.”
Riiiight. That’s what it takes? A friend who plays a different sport having a good year has motivated you? Whatever it takes, I guess. Well, I assume that this means you’ll be there bright and early for every single practice to really work on the myriad weaknesses in your game?
Bush, who made only a cameo appearance at the Saints’ offseason program last year, said he plans on participating most of the time.
“These last two years I definitely learned a lot,” Bush said. “I feel like I’m maturing. That’s what it’s all about — maturing and learning and going through life’s experiences and football.
“It’s the right thing to do, to be here and working out with my teammates. I’m going to be here as much as possible, as much as I can. I won’t make every workout, but I’ll definitely be here for a majority of the workouts.”
This–along with being too much of a Mangina to run between the tackles–is why you are an overrated sack of suck. You start the article talking about how you want to have an MVP-caliber year and you really want to have a breakout season, but you immediately remind the reader that you only want these things so long as it doesn’t interfere with shooting Pepsi commercials and/or fucking Kim Kardashian. (Note: Ray Jay was there before you and he had no problem hitting the hole with authority. You might want to study that tape as well.)
It’s no secret that we here at DGDB&D think very, very little of Reggie Bush. In fact, the only thing we do think about him is “boy am I glad we didn’t draft THAT dude.” Still, every now and then, he finds a way to make me like him even less. This is one of those times.
Mr. and Mrs. Glass
Feb 20, 2008 Faggination, Fake Conversations with Real People, Jerome Mathis got hurt reading this, Johnny Fisterbottom, Pro Bowl 2008, Too far?, Tremendous Busts, Will Demps makes love to the...ladies?
February 15, 2008. Manvel, TX. 10:30PM.
Jerome Mathis: (in car, to himself) Damn. DAMN! I have completely fucked up. Fuck. She is going to be pissed, too. Why the fuck did I let the dogs get out? After the year I had…man…I’m fucked.
(pulls into driveway, goes into house) Erica! Erica?! You here?
Erica Smith: (from upstairs) Yeah, I’m upstairs. Hold on. I’ll be down in a minute.
Mathis: (to self) Fuuuuuck. OK, Jerome. Hold it together. You’re a Pro Bowler; you’ll get a job somewhere. And she loves you for you…y’all having a baby together and shit. OK, here she comes. Stay calm. Don’t get defensive… (to Smith) Hey, baby! How was your day?!
Smith: Motherfucker, how do you think my day was?! I am fucking pregnant. I threw up this morning, then I was tired, then my feet started hurting, then I threw up again, then I had to nap for a while. That’s how MY day was. But that’s not what concerns me right now. What concerns me is whether you talked to McNair about what we talked about last night.
Mathis: Yeah, I did.
Smith: And?!?
Mathis: He said the team wasn’t entirely sure if they were going to bring me back. He said the pit bull incidents really having him questioning whether I have the right kind of character to be a Houston Texan.
Smith: You ignorant motherfucker! I told your stupid ass to chain those dogs up! Did you listen?! Fuck, no, you didn’t listen. You just let those mutts go out and maul some people. Brilliant. Asshole. Did you at least mention that you were a Pro Bowler not that long ago?
Mathis: Yo, you need to ease up off me a little bit. I thought I told you I wasn’t going to put up with that kind of tone anymore.
Smith: Fuck you, jack. Who the fuck do you think you are? Motherfuckin’ Ron O’Neal or somethin’? Talkin’ ’bout I better not talk to you like that.
Mathis: Look, bitch, seriously…I’m not going to put up with much more of this lip.
Smith: Whatchu gonna do, then? You ain’t gonna hit a pregnant woman. Besides…remember what happened last time you tried to pick a fight with me. You want your ass kicked again?
Mathis: Bitch, I told you I had a sinus infection. And I was kinda drunk. You can’t take me in a fair fight and you know it! I’m in the NFL, goddamnit.
Smith: Yeah…that “F” stands for “Fragile As A Motherfucker.”
Mathis: I am leaving before you make me break my foot off in your ass. (turns to leave, pauses, turns back) Hey, where the hell is my phone charger? I need it–my Blackberry is dead.
Smith: Just like your career, apparently.
Mathis: Shut up. Just go get my charger. (shoves Smith)
Smith: Make me, bitch.
Mathis: That’s it. It’s on now! (grabs Smith by the throat) Yeah! You like that?! You like…wait…what the fuck…LET GO OF MY NUTS!!! OW OW OW OW OW!!! FUUUUUCK!!!! (begins weeping)
Smith: Yeah! You think you’re bad?! You ain’t bad! You ain’t shit!! Get the fuck out of my house, bitch! (throws him out the front door, locks it behind him, heads back upstairs)
Will Demps: (from closet) Everything cool.
Smith: Yeah, baby. It’s cool. Come give mama some of the black throbbing Jesus before I call the police on his unemployed ass. I love me some Pro Bowler sex.
An Open Letter to Bill Simmons, From My Giants-Fan Buddy, Rendhel
Feb 4, 2008 Anger, Cooper Manning gently weeps, Curious Coaching, Fuck the Cowboys, National Media, Open Letters, Super Bowl 2008, Teams that aren't the Texans, Tremendous Busts, Winner winner chicken dinner
How Dare You?
After a year of reading nothing but Patriots/Brady fellating from you, you have the audacity to write THAT as your post-Superbowl column? Where’s the mea culpa on Eli? Where’s the “sky is falling” commentary? Where’s the acknowledgment that the Giants literally beat the crap out of the Patriots?
Don’t write about how we got all the lucky bounces (false), how your offense just didn’t show up (only partially true), how the coaching staff didn’t call the game aggressively (untrue–how about going for it on 4th and 12? How about the fact that we shut you down on 3rd and short all game? How about the fact that you couldn’t block us?) Where’s the acknowledgment that we made Brady look not only human, but average? Where are the questions about why the perfect Tom Brady didn’t audible to max protect sets or 3 step drops once he realized they couldn’t contain our rush? Where’s the reminder to sports fans everywhere that October is NOT January (or February for that matter) and that there’s no substitute for playing tough hard nosed football in the playoffs? You used to know that. It’s how the Pats won their first three titles.
My Giants just punched Brady, Belichick and Rodney Harrison right in the face and reminded them that this is a man’s game. Take that fancy, all-throwing, non-physical ballet you called your offense and shove it up Beantown’s collective ass. The Patsies just joined the Karl Malone Lakers as the biggest poser teams to ever sell their souls for a championship and come up short. It’s the sports equivalent of cheating on your wife for the first time by renting a high-priced hooker only to find out that she’s got an 8-inch Johnson when you get her home. How’s it taste? The Giants are wicked awesome! Masshole.
Opening Salvo
Jan 2, 2008 2007 Season, 2008 Season, Barbaro is dead, Batman, Black Salaami, Boulware, DeMeco Ryans, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Dunta Robinson, Free Agency, I'm not a doctor, Mark Bruener, Matt Turk rules, Nnamdi Asomugha, Posts that list too many players, Roster, Secondary issues are primary, Sign Andre Davis now, Tremendous Busts
Certain discussions in football are incredibly dependent upon context. Take, for instance, “who is the greatest player of all time?” Without contextualizing the question, we can have different answers and all might be correct. If you are asking “who was the most dominant in his era,” the near-universal answer is Jim Brown. If you are factoring in which player had the biggest drop-off in talent between himself and the second-best player at his position, Lawrence Taylor is a popular answer. And if you are considering longevity coupled with a high level of performance, a case can be made for Larry Allen, Emmitt Smith, or even Brett Favre if a person is so inclined.
Discussing the draft is no different. Before we can have any sort of serious discussion regarding our needs (both perceived and real) and how the draft can meet them, we have to answer the following:
- What is the 2008 contribution from Dunta Robinson likely to be?
- What is the 2008 contribution from Charles Spencer likely to be?
- Is Travis Johnson going to be on the 2008 Texans?
- Which of our free agents are going to be re-signed?
- Which free agents from other teams are we looking at?
- Which role players/reserves from this year played well enough to challenge for an expanded role next year?
- Which starters played poorly enough to “earn” their outright releases?
Let’s try to tackle these. Everything from here is on is my best guess, so feel free to correct/mock/taunt me in the comments.
1. What is the 2008 contribution from Dunta Robinson likely to be?
The facts: According to this article (hat tip to reader Eric, who keeps me abreast of stuff almost daily), Dunta is taking rehab seriously and is progressing well.
“I know myself, and I know what I will do to get back on the field,” [Dunta said].
Unless you enjoy being wrong, don’t doubt him.
He might be moving slowly with a limp [as of now], but at some point next season, No. 23 will throw his body around Reliant Stadium, making hard-hit highlights.
***
The most likely scenario calls for Robinson, 25, to be placed on the physically unable to perform list entering camp. If he isn’t ready at the start of the season, he would not be eligible to be activated until after the sixth game.
Though he has been told he is ahead of schedule in the rehab, he smartly realizes to rush would be foolish.
Really bad grammar aside, no one is currently ruling out the possibility that he will be back on opening day. Now, given the severity of the injury–see video here–it might be a little much to expect a September return, but what if he is ready to go by October? With Dunta and Fred Bennett, it would make very little sense to draft a CB at 18. (This is doubly true when you consider that this draft isn’t exactly rife with big name cornerback talent–not only would be drafting redundantly, but you would be reaching to do it.)
One strange sub-question to this is what if Dunta does return as planned in 2008, but is not as fast as he was prior to the injury? Because I know we don’t want to hear it right now, but there is no guarantee that he can rehab his speed back to what it was (or even what it needs to be to be a top corner). If this happens, as a couple people said shortly after he was hurt, it might just make sense to pencil Dunta in as a free safety when he returns, allowing him to play the ball and still knock the piss out of people, but without expecting him to also turn and run with the Reggie Waynes of the world. In such a scenario, obviously that second corner position is an issue. I’m just not sure it is an issue to address via the draft.
Predicted answer to the question: I think Dunta returns in mid-October and, by November, is in “playing shape.” He might be slightly slowed, but any conversion of him to safety would be in 2009 at the earliest.
2. What is the 2008 contribution from Charles Spencer likely to be?
The Facts: If it seems like a really loooooong time since Spencer got hurt, you are not imagining things. He had surgery on the broken leg on September 18, 2006, meaning that 103 weeks will have passed between that date and opening day 2008. Now, of course, the good news is that there was some talk and hope going into 2007 Camp that Spencer would play at some point this past year. While that didn’t happen (obviously), the team website reports that Barbaro is expected to participate in the team’s offseason conditioning program.
To have been cleared for such workouts, Spencer’s rehab would have to be completed to his personal physician’s satisfaction and he would have to have been evaluated by the team doctor. So, apparently, 2 out of 2 medical professionals agree that Spencer is healthy enough for NFL workouts. That’s a start. Much like with Dunta, however, there is no way of knowing short of seeing Spencer play whether he was able to rehab to the level of an NFL left tackle.
Also similar to the Dunta situation, if Spencer does not have the quickness and explosiveness needed to take on professional defensive ends, the team is not without options. Fred Weary is a free agent and Chester Pitts was less than stellar for much of the year, so moving Spencer to a guard spot is certainly a possibility. Given his bulk and athleticism (6-5, 350 compared to 6-4, 307 for Weary and 6-2, 320 for Pitts), lining him up beside Eric Winston or a real–read: not Ephraim Salaam–left tackle would certainly be an asset to our running game (unless it is foolishly decided by the powers above that we are going to convert to a pure zone blocking scheme).
Predicted answer to the question: I think that Spencer will be at 100% of whatever his post-surgery ability is and that Kubiak will give him every chance to win back the LT spot. For better or worse, unless Spencer is visibly way too slow, has some sort of major surgery-related setback, or Jake Long/Sam Baker falls to us at 18, I’m guessing that Spencer is our guy going into next season.
3. Is Travis Johnson going to be on the 2008 Texans?
Facts: Travis is a loud-mouthed, under achieving jerk. While his taunting of Trent Green was hilarious (to me), his play has never been such that we can absorb his stupid penalties and brain farts.
Prediction: This organization values “character” and “appearances” more than just about any team ever, so I really can’t see how Travis is on this roster come September. He will be gone either through trade (if we can find a sucker) or outright release closer to June 1, either of which is fine because we need a real nose tackle anyway.
4. Which of our free agents are going to be re-signed?
Facts: The following are my predicted fates for the unrestricted free agents:
- Roc Alexander–gone w/ no offer
- Charlie Anderson–signed
Kevin Barry–gone w/ no offerOops.- Mark Bruener–gone? retired? neither?
- Danny Clark–signed
- Andre’ Davis–signed
- Ron Dayne–signed
- Will Demps–signed
- Glenn Earl–gone w/no offer
- Von Hutchins–gone b/c offer withdrawn after Wynn signs
- ND Kalu–signed
- Cedric Killings–gone (retired)
- Jason Simmons–gone w/ no offer
- Matt Turk–signed
- Fred Weary–gone b/c unable to perform in 2008
- Dexter Wynn–signed
And for the restricted free agents:
- CC Brown–signed
- Anthony Maddox–signed
- Jerome Mathis–gone b/c he’s a fragile wuss
- Scott Jackson–signed
Quick Review:
Unrestricted Free Agents have four or more seasons of service and have reached the end of their contract. They are free to sign with any club through the first day of the first scheduled NFL training camp. After that, their exclusive rights revert to their original club (if that club made a June 1 tender to these players) and that team has until the Tuesday after the 10th week of the season to sign the player. If the player does not sign, he must continue to sit out the rest of the season.
Restricted Free Agents have completed three accrued seasons of service and have reached the end of their contracts. They have received offers from their old clubs, but can negotiate with any team until April 21. If a new team’s offer is accepted, the old club has the right to match the offer and keep the player. If they do not match the offer, the old team might receive a compensatory draft pick (subject to how much the new team’s offer was).
Notes regarding predicted answer to the question: I have been going back and forth on whether they will sign Mark Bruener. He’s a great run blocker, but he’s old as hell, so it wouldn’t shock me to see them carry Joel Dreessen if they want a third TE or for them to keep Bruener because they release Putzier. I think the Von Hutchins/Dexter Wynn thing comes down to who signs first and, god, I hope it’s Wynn. I think Demps wins out over Glenn Earl and I think that is a good thing. Finally, I think they keep Turk for another year unless someone releases a top-tier punter for some odd reason.
5. Which free agents from other teams are we looking at?
Facts: We have a better free agent budget than in some recent offseasons, but we are still not free and clear of some of the dead money (Domanick Davis Williams, anyone?) Keeping in mind the overriding philosophy of not over-spending on big names and putting character at the forefront of any player evaluation, here are some names at key positions that I could see us considering (my favorite at each position is linked to player info):
RB–Musa Smith, Derrick Ward, LaBrandon Toefield, Michael Bennett, and Justin Fargas. Notable omissions–Michael Turner (price), Julius Jones (not good)
DE–Marques Douglas, Bobby McCary, Travis LaBoy. Notable omissions–Jared Allen (character, price), Justin Smith (price)
DT–Ethan Kelley, Isaac Sopoaga. (This position is likely better filled through the draft) Notable omissions–Albert Haynesworth (character, price), Pat Williams (I was an idiot and overlooked his extension signed in September, so he’s not a free agent like I had been saying)
S–Gibril Wilson, OJ Atogwe, Mike Doss. (This position is extremely thin in free agency this year) Notable omission–Ken Hamlin (slight character concerns, overpriced due to Pro Bowl)
CB–Keith Smith, Domonique Foxworth, Nnamdi Asomugha. (Yes, I realize Asomugha’s predicted price tag, but if the team thinks Dunta will not be back in 2008 or will not be back to his old self, I think Smithiak realizes the value of a shutdown corner. Plus, I am hoping that his low INT total this year will temper the cost.) Notable omission–Asante Samuel (will think he’s worth too much and won’t talk to smaller-market teams)
OT–Jordan Gross, Stacey Andrews, Adrian Jones. Notable omissions–Flozell Adams (age), Cory Lekkerkerker (not enough Ks for jersey if he’s signed)
6. Which role players/reserves from this year played well enough to challenge for an expanded role next year?
Facts: The injuries to 94.35% of our roster this season gave us an extended look at some guys who under normal circumstances would have gotten nothing but scout team and special teams reps. Honestly, this was the one silver lining to come out of the bubonic plague that struck our locker room.
Not counting free agent guys like Andre Davis and Charlie Anderson, the three guys who jump to mind are Earl Cochran, Kasey Studdard, and Zac Diles. Last one first, Kubiak said recently that Diles had shown an ability to possibly play the other LB positions, so I could see him getting a chance to earn the SLB position in camp next year. This is not ideal–I’d much rather have a pure SLB over there–but if we can’t resign Charlie Anderson and Danny Clark, it might not be the worst thing to happen. Cochran showed a real nose for the ball every time he got in there and he even earned a starting role for the last game of the season. Studdard is a coaching staff favorite and showed real potential on the interior.
Predicted answer to the question: If the team is able to get a big nose tackle either through the draft or through free agency, it would not shock me to see Cochran given a chance at the starting defensive end gig next summer. I like the guy, so this would not bother me. Diles’ opportunity to earn a starting role is going to be limited to a total departure of the other SLBs on the roster or the untimely death of DeMeco Ryans. Finally, Studdard should be in line to compete for an OG position, especially if Spencer is playing OT. There’s also a chance that Brandon Harrison or Brandon Frye could compete, but, again, that is going to depend more on who leaves this offseason than what either actually did during the 2007 campaign.
7. Which starters–other than Travis Johnson–played poorly enough to “earn” their outright releases?
Facts: Anthony Weaver is the highest-paid player on this team, yet he was not even among the five best DEFENSIVE players we had this year. That is unacceptable. Shawn Barber started off fine, but injury derailed him. Still, that might be enough to earn a ticket out. Ahman Green I cannot discuss without getting angry. DeMarcus Faggins should lead this list, but he seems to have some sort of soft spot in the hearts of the leadership. Jeb Putzier…I’m pretty sure he is still on the team, though you wouldn’t know it by watching the last 8 games. Jordan Black was atrocious from day 1. Mike Flanagan apparently subscribed to the Jordan Black newsletter. Finally, Michael Boulware was decent on special teams, but horrid in coverage. If you listen real closely, you can hearing him whiffing on another assignment as I write this.
Obviously, there are salary cap implications for cutting any of these guys. Based on the best numbers I could find, the cap hit for each guy would be as follows (and remember that you can split guys cut on June 1 over two seasons as well as 2 guys cut prior to June 1 but designated as such):
- Weaver: $8.1MM
- Barber: $1.4MM
- Green: $3.75MM
- Faggins: $425K
- Putzier: $950K
- Black: $900K
- Boulware: $0 (unless there are some hidden bonuses that I missed)
- Flanagan: $1MM
- (Johnson: $2.7MM)
Keeping Weaver is going to cost us $6.2MM against the cap, so it depends entirely on whether losing him is worth roughly $2MM plus whatever his replacement costs. Then again, if he is one of the June 1 guys, you are saving money ($4.05MM vs. 6.2MM) in the short term. Knowing this, I think he’s either gone or will be “asked” to restructure his deal. Same deal with Green, though I say it is less likely that he is given the chance to restructure because he is cheaper to cut than to keep ($3.75MM vs. 5.1MM). Deciding whether to keep the others listed here depends less on dollars and cents and more on long-term planning for the franchise.
Predicted answer to the question: Like I said, I think Weaver is either not a Texan or is not under the same contract come September, but I am betting it is the latter. I think Green is giving his walking papers, which he will carry with a limp. Faggins stays around be he’s cheap, they like him for some reason, and because God likes to torture me like that from time to time. Putzier…I’m going back and forth on. I think he’s gone if they keep Bruener and vice versa. Boulware and Flanagan are done. Barber stays because he’s versatile and is good leadership for some of the younger ‘backers.
*****
So, about 2700 words later, there you have it. One obsessive-compulsive fan’s look at the background questions that have to be answered before we can form a coherent draft strategy. I’m sure I missed something in there.
Look, defenseless babies!
Dec 29, 2007 2007 Season, Anger, Awfulness, Bad Juju, Colts Shmolts, Corky Johnson, Tremendous Busts
Resident rocket surgeon Travis Johnson was fined $5000 by the NFL Friday for his ridiculous late hits last Sunday. The “normal” fine for such two-foul situations is $7500, but the league ruled that the first late hit was an incorrect call. (Meaning they ignored that the entire play happened completely in Travis’ line of sight and there was no possible way he could have thought the play was still live.) They also chose to ignore the blatant helmet-to-helmet hit that Johnson delivered in between the two penalties and for which he was not flagged. Lame.
Johnson offered his own erudite opinion on the matter.
I didn’t go out there to purposely hurt anybody, I am just out there playing hard.
For the moment, I’ll take him at his word. After all, one would like to believe that no NFL player is intentionally delivering cheap shots. Johnson continued:
I was in the air when the whistle blew. You win some, and you lose some.
Wait…what? You lying sack of donkey turd! I just went back and watched the hit. Not only were you not “in the air” when it happened, you took at least one extra step toward the ball carrier after the play was obviously completed AND you lowered your head to the point that you’d have to have an IQ of about 8 to not realize you were hitting a man when he was on the ground! Besides, just like the Manning play, this one was right in front of you, yet you took two-and-a-half steps after the point where Fletcher was obviously going down. You sir, are as classless as Albert Haynesworth, but without any sort of performance that would make us swallow our pride and accept your stupidity as the price for having your stellar play.
Despite the fact that Kubes said he liked your effort and intensity, I still hold out hope that they will change the locks while you are out one day and not give you a new key. Don’t make me get my girl, Durga, on the line. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.
(h/t to Texans Tail Gate for the link)
Everyone out! C’mon. No, not you, Scottie. Not you, Number 2. Not you, Frau. Not you, Goldmember. Not you, guys back there. Not you, henchman holding a wrench. Not you, henchman arbitrarily turning knobs, making it seem like you’re doing something.
Dec 27, 2007 Adimchinobe Echemandu is fun to say, Corky Johnson, Free Agency, Hype, Nigerian Mafia, Nnamdi Asomugha, Tremendous Busts, Undrafted Free Agent watch list
Tim beat me to the punch on this, but Adimchinobi Echemandu was cut by the Texans yesterday, ending my dream that he would become the new Nigerian Nightmare.
While the official reason given was that the team needed to cut someone to make room for DelJuan Robinson (more on him in a minute), the fact remains that there had to be some underlying reason for why Joe E. was the person chosen. One can only assume that either Kubiak never got past Joe’s back-to-back performances against Oakland and New Orleans (2 carries for 6 yards, then 1 carry for 2 yards and a fumble lost) or the team is completely committed to using Darius Walker the rest of the way in order to evaluate him.
Either way, I can live with the decision. After all, this was a guy that we signed out of absolutely nowhere and those kinds of players rarely get mulligans. Besides, it’s not like he bounced back after that New Orleans game–in two more games he had 7 carries for 15 yards. Walker, on the other hand, is averaging 3.7 yards per carry and has 13 catches for 81 yards in his three games of action. Now, the pessimists–of whom I am a charter member–will point out that Walker showed last week that he lacks the speed to be a true number one back in the and that he would be best suited as a 3rd-down back, so an evaluation of his “long-term potential” is rather pointless. (The numbers certainly support this: he ran a 4.56 and a 4.57 at the NFL Combine; for the sake of comparison, Najeh Davenport ran a 4.44 at his Combine. Davenport also pooped in a hamper, which has nothing to do with Darius Walker but is still worth mentioning.) While this may be true, I think the general consensus was that Echemandu was not going to be the answer, regardless of how Walker did or did not pan out. Fair enough.
All of this overlooks the main reason I was high on Echemandu from the start. Namely, that a certain cousin of his is arguably the best or second-best cover corner in the NFL and can opt out of his contract at the end of the season. I was hoping that some family ties might have made it easier to entice him. With the emergence of Fred Bennett, however, and assuming that Dunta Robinson will be back and be 100% at some point next year, then giving Nate-Clements-money to Nnamdi Asomugha is probably not the highest best use of our free agent dollars (see, e.g., Pat Williams, Alan Faneca, Jared Allen, Demorrio Williams…)
Which sorta segues into DelJuan Robinson. The Second-team All-SEC tackle was undrafted out of Mississippi State, primarily due to a knee injury that limited his senior season to 8 games. In those 8 games, he had 12.5 tackles for a loss, which was fifth-best in the SEC. At MSU’s Pro Day, Robinson ran a 5.07 40, a 2.88 20, and put up 23 reps on the bench. He was part of the group of undrafted free agents that the Texans signed in May, was released by the team at the end of August, and was signed to the practice squad shortly thereafter. Because defensive line was the one place that didn’t turn into a M*A*S*H unit, Robinson had not gotten a shot at the active roster. Until now.
But let me ask you this: if you are the front office and you have four healthy defensive tackles, one of whom is retarded, but have injuries throughout your linebacking corps, secondary, and offensive line, why would you activate another defensive tackle? The only answer I can come up with is “because we are washing our hands of the retarded guy.” If that’s the case, it makes sense to see if Deljuan can play and let Travis languish until the time comes to set him free. (If they make Johnson a June 1 casualty next year–either by cutting him then or cutting him prior to that date but designating him as one of the two June 1s allowable under the CBA–there will be a cap hit of almost $2.5MM in 2008 and 2009 as opposed to a $5MM hit in 2008 if they cut him right now just to make a point). Besides, they might be able to convince Cincinnati that Travis would fit right in on their roster and get something in trade for him.
So while I might have had high hopes for him, if you are telling me we had to sacrifice Joe Echemandu to get rid of Travis Johnson…well, that’s a deal I’d make any day of the week.
An Open Letter to Travis Johnson
Dec 24, 2007 2007 Season, Anger, Colts Shmolts, God hates ugly, Self-Referential Stuff, Travis Johnson is a piece of shit, Tremendous Busts
Dear Shitbag,
This is the thanks I get for being your biggest apologist and defender in the whole fucking universe? Fuck you. Fuck you straight to hell.
Consider: Despite you doing next to nothing since being drafted, I immediately jumped on the bandwagon when you seemed to pick up your play in the preseason. When you taunted an unconscious man, not only did I write what I believe to be one of my two or three best posts in response, I went on Big Blue Shoe’s fucking podcast to defend your ignorant ass. When I went to the Titans game at Reliant, I cheered for you as you played perhaps your best game as a Texan. And whenever the talk turned to the 2008 team, rather than join the Trade Travis movement, I consistently penciled you in at Nose Tackle alongside Amobi Okoye, despite the fact that you are better suited to play the Under Tackle position.
No more. As of today, I am done.
Do you realize how fucking ridiculous you looked getting not one, but TWO completely avoidable late hit fouls? On the first one, you were still being blocked Manning went down right in front of you. You had a clear view of the play as Mario rode him to the ground. There was no way you could have thought that the play was still live or that Manning had fumbled. Yet, you pounced on him like were trying to be some kind of hard ass thug. Not long thereafter, you ran directly at a play where two Texans had tackled the ball carrier, took nearly three steps after the whistle had blown, then lowered your large, empty head and rammed it into the other player’s helmet. Fucking brilliant. Hell, in between those plays, you had another helmet-to-helmet hit that wasn’t called. It was almost as if you’d decided that this was the game where you were going to make a name for yourself as the biggest retard in the National Football League.
You, sir, are a classless, piece-of-shit, moron asshole who brings nothing positive to the table. I cannot wait until you are no longer a member of the Houston Texans organization. I wish you nothing but the worst from here on out. You fuck.
Sincerely,
Matt
P.S. I hope you contract gonorrhea from a transvesite hooker.
$3.22 per unimpressed Houstonian
Dec 5, 2007 2007 Season, Bad Idea Jeans, Batman, Huh?, Injury bug, Tremendous Busts
Inspired by Tim’s comment here, let’s break down exactly what Ahman Green has cost the Texans thus far. All numbers based on his $6.5MM guaranteed contract.
- $16,971.28 per total yard
- $25,000 per rushing yard
- $72,222.22 per week on injury report
- $92,857.14 per carry
- $2,166,666.67 per game with at least one 10+ yard rush
- $3,250,000 per touchdown
- $6,500,000 per victory over Dallas, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, and Tennessee
It’s nice work, if you can get it.
The Big Babinski
Aug 17, 2007 Jason Babin, Posts that list too many players, Preseason 2007, Super Mario, Teams that aren't the Texans, Training camp 2007, Tremendous Busts
During the three months I’ve been doing this bloggifying, I’ve made little secret of the fact that I am pro-Jason Babin. (Don’t believe me? See here. Don’t ever doubt me.)
So, with that in mind, I was happy to see how well J-Bab1 played last Saturday. He wasn’t just impressive–he turned in not-so-arguably the best defensive lineman performance of the night for either team. Kubiak certainly noticed in the post game press conference.
[W]hen you look at the second group, there were some guys that really stood out. Jason Babin being number one, played extremely well.
Yesterday, Kubiak was again asked about Babin’s progress throughout camp. The message was still positive.
I said this many of times. We’ve had a lot of conversations about Travis [Johnson] and Jerome [Mathis] at this camp, but Jason needs to get into that conversation because he’s really dedicated himself to our program, to Dan [Riley], to what Jethro [Franklin] and Frank [Bush] are trying to do and it shows. He stood out last week as much as any guy we had up front so I’m looking forward to Jason having a good year (emphasis added)
For Kubiak, that damn near qualifies as gushing.
Anyway, considering how unlikely it seemed even a month ago that the words “Jason” and “Babin” and “extremely well” would be uttered in some sort of succession, it’s probably not surprising that the Chronic would run with the story, taking the “change of coaching is responsible” angle.
Franklin has worked on improving Babin’s technique and his mental approach.
‘That’s the thing about it, this game is so mental,’ Franklin said. ‘Mentally, he was probably all over the place. Hopefully now, he’s a little more focused on himself and not other people around him. He’s more focused on his body in terms of body mechanics.
‘I give them things they can hang their hat on. That’s what I try to give them. Try to get them some tools. If you give them some tools, hopefully they can build you a strong bridge.’
All of this is well and good; to a certain extent, I’m sure that new, simplified coaching has helped Babin. However, just as important–and mentioned only ever so slightly–is that Jason has matured professionally to the point where the initial expectations for him are now becoming reasonable.
Very few defensive ends go from being a good college player to a good professional in one year.2 The ones that do are usually the freaks of nature like Dwight Freeney and Julius Peppers (13 and 12 sacks, respectively, as rookies). More common, even with guys like Jason Taylor (5 sacks as a rookie) who go on to become great pass rushers, is a learning curve of at least one year. Taylor, for instance, went from 5 to 9.5, but then dropped to 2.5 his third year. Leonard Little played in 6 games each of his first two season–due to that pesky prison term for vehicular manslaughter–and recorded no sacks in either. Michael Strahan recorded 1 in 9 games as a rookie, followed by 4.5 in 15 games in year 2. Aaron Kampman notched 2.5 total in his first 24 games. The list goes on and on. Point is, it was ridiculous to expect a kid from a small directional Michigan school to jump right to the NFL and become a dominant pass rusher.
Of course, the old regime decided to up the difficulty for Babin by moving him from DE–where he was just asked to go forward–to outside linebacker in the 3-4–where he was expected to work in space, move in all directions, and cover the occasional TE. Funny thing is, Babin performed reasonably well in this role, notching 4 sacks and 4 passes defensed while starting all 16 games as a rookie. By 2005, he’d lost his starting gig, but he put up another 4 sacks as the words “bust” started being bandied about. Last year, with a new (read: non-retarded) coach, Babin was moved back to DE and in spot starts had 5 sacks.
That’s 13 sacks in three seasons, only one year as a full-time starter, which is more than Strahan or Kampman (and more consistent than Taylor). Now, of course, I am not suggesting that Babin will ever become Jason Taylor (or Michael Strahan); rather, I am just pointing out that at one point, no one thought Jason Taylor would become Jason Taylor.
All of that said, I think it’s pretty clear that I am nothing but thrilled with the “sudden” emergence of Babin this summer. Two plays last Saturday hinted that he might be on the verge of becoming the other pass rushing DE–first, when he came off the weakside edge, flew down the line, and brought down Cedric Benson from behind, and, second, when he powered through the strongside double team and made the play. (Ironically, both of those plays were against the run, though the knock on Babin is that he is a liability in run defense.)
So, where does that leave us in terms of a starting D-line? Assuming Anthony Weaver is not ready to go week 1, which seems a safer assumption by the day, I think you still have to pencil ND Kalu in as the starter at LDE, at least for now. Kalu is no spring chicken, though, so I think a pretty heavy dose of Babin might be involved there as well. Also, much like last year, there is talk that Weaver will move to DT on obvious passing downs, clearing the way for Kalu or Babin at times even after Weavs returns.
It wouldn’t surprise me at all to see the line change depending on how “obvious” the passing down is and, more importantly, how long the yardage is (i.e. how long the play will take to develop). On 3rd and 10 or more, a pure speed line of Mario, Babin, Amobi, and Weaver (unless you wanted to try Kalu on the inside) could be amazingly effective. In shorter situations, either Babin or Kalu at one end, with a bigger middle (Maddox/TJ, perhaps?) probably makes more sense.3
Regardless of the rotation, having Jason Babin continue to play like he has so far this season would go a looooooong way toward developing that front-four pass rush that our defense (most notably our secondary) so desperately needs. Even better, it will start to make the first-round pick of Babin make sense. “It’s about time,” you say? I agree… that’s EXACTLY what it’s about.
1 No? How about The Babinator? I like that one.
2 Something to keep in mind regarding Mario, too, I suppose.
3 The one thing I don’t want to see, but that I have seen others advocating, is moving Mario inside on these passing downs, with Kalu and Babin on the edges. Ignoring how such a move would make the anti-Mario contingent even louder, it removes Mario’s primary asset (speed) and makes little to no sense in my mind. Plus, Baldinger would run his mouth again.
My long Nigerian nightmare is over
Jul 27, 2007 2007 Draft, Amobi Okoye is 20, Gary Kubiak, Training camp 2007, Tremendous Busts
In addition to being 20 years old, Amobi Okoye is now a Houston Texan. (Hat tip to Mark, who continues to make my job easy.) Late last night, Okoye signed a 6-year (voidable to five) deal with $12.785MM in guaranteed money (out of a total $17.6MM).
With that move, everyone who is supposed to be at camp will be at camp, where Kubiak can begin the process of crushing dreams and releasing underperforming players. (Travis Johnson, I am looking at you.)
David Carr to Texans: Suck it, bitchez
May 7, 2007 Athletes who don't stab people, David Carr has Post-Concussion Syndrome, DeMeco Ryans, Houston Chronicle, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Schaub Experiment, Tony Boselli is dead, Tremendous Busts
This just in: Über-competitor David Carr is thrilled– THRILLED! –to be playing the role of clipboard caddy. One of the perks of this job, it seems, is it affords David ample time to run off at the mouth.* Says Dave:
As far as the talent on this team, it’s something I haven’t been around. It’s fun for me, just coming out here and playing with a group, both offensively and defensively, that has (so) much skill. [...] If you’re not having fun, it’s going to be like what I had the last couple of years where you almost don’t even want to come to work.
Now, look, I always liked David Carr. I thought he got a bum rap, considering that the best offensive lineman he had prior to last season was the Corpse of Tony Boselli. I also thought he was a stand-up guy for showing up everyday and just playing, without screaming about the team or demanding to be traded. That said, when your career is such that the team (whether wisely or not) cuts you so they can pay through the nose for a heretofore-only-been-a-backup QB, maybe you shouldn’t go popping off about the lack of “talent” you just left behind. That’s the sort of thing that will make DeMeco angry, which could lead to Delhomme getting murdered** in week 2. This, in turn, would force you back into the starting role, thereby eliminating (a) Carolina’s playoff hopes and (b) the free time you are currently using to be a prick.
I’m just sayin’.
*Judging by the photo in that article, he also has lots of time to work on his Gordon Gecko hairdo. Greed is good.
**Fanhouse seems to think that this is the plan.
