Kickoff - “1-4 and looking for more!” Edition
Oct 13, 2008 2008 Season, Fuck the Cowboys, H/T Eric, Kickoff, Uncategorized
Photo courtesy: “Andy Martin www.texansbullpen.com”
Dolphins pull a Texans???: How about, the Texans pull a Colts? We won the game; the Fins did not lose it. Let’s get this straight now.
Childbirth?: I wouldn’t go that far, either, but quite….imaginative…imagery from Keith at ITB. Let me end by saying, “Ewwwwwwww.”
Yep: Typically awesome summary by Chris.
Still a Dick: Joey Porter style.
“Karma Bites Back”: Can’t put it any more clearly than Dave did when he sent the news along (beating Eric by a whopping 80 minutes!!!). Tony Romo broke his pinky, clearly while trying to finger TO during an actual play in OT (what can he say? He just couldn’t wait!). You’d have thought the whole hand would get broken during that move, but I’m clearly no expert. WillFist4Food, what’s your professional, all-knowing take?
Purty Pictures: As Eric linked to previously, some fun pics from the game via TexansBullpen.com, who also gave us permission to use the picture above. Thank you!
Yes: I still have wood. Thanks for asking.
485: Net total yards, setting a Texans franchise record, against a team that had been giving up only 289 per game as one of the best defenses in the league. One more time: We won this game. We earned the win.
Deep thoughts with bfd: The D
Aug 23, 2008 BFD's Real Doll, Posts that list too many players, Uncategorized
Kent Brockman: Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it’s time for our viewers to crack each other’s heads open and feast on the goo inside? Professor: Mmm, yes I would, Kent.
Yeah, that pretty much sums up our defense after last night. Pissed? Yes. Alarmist? Yes. Time to panic? Fuck yeah.
I’m gonna say it loud and not proud: Our defense sucks. Well, why listen to me when you can see what Mario has to say (h/t Eric)?
“We’ve still got a lot of work to do,” (Mario) Williams said. “Thankfully, we’ve still got another week. We’ve just got to work together a little better, not just with the run but against the pass and play off of each other better.
“Also, studying the opponent a lot more wouldn’t hurt either. So, we’ll see.”
Richard Smith, meet bus. Bus, crush Richard Smith.
Rosy Colvin looked like a boxer stuck in concrete last night. I swear he wasn’t even trying to run.
Anthony Maddox could be moved by my 2-yo daughter.
Morlon Greenwood just got juked.
Jacques Reeves makes Petey Faggins look like an All-Pro.
CC Brown and Will Demps are slow and couldn’t cover my fat ass. Good against the run, though.
Yes, I am starting to hit panic mode after just three pre-season games. Outside of our personnel issues, Mario does not feel Richard Smith is getting this team prepared. That just compounds our problems.
Our defense is literally centered around Mario, DeMeco, and Bennett. An argument can be made that every other player on our team is below average versus league starters at their position. I’m not sure I trust that to change under Smith.
Because, one can also make the argument that we have some serious untapped talent on our defense, as well. Amobi Okoye. Zac Diles. Xavier Adibi. Antwaun Molden. Even Travis Fucking Johnson. The cupboard is not bare by any means, but I see a defense that is literally going backwards before our eyes.
Let’s put this a different way: if the Cowfuckers would not have pulled Jessica Simpson’s wife, that game would’ve been ugly. He was tearing us apart at will. That’s embarrassing.
I know I’m being a panicky idiot, and that’s fine. And I also don’t care about the rushing game one shit as long as Teh Schaub is there as he’s absolutely ripping the joint up and I can *see* improvement. The defense, however, is playing ass-tastic. I’m not sure the problem is with our talent, either. I’m starting to think that ditching Smith is our first step.
I’d really like to hear what y’all think, especially as I enter panic mode. Am I wrong? Right? Oddly turned on by the night stand?
Goodbye, Mike Bell. Hello, Torrin Tucker
Aug 8, 2008 Uncategorized
It goes back to my original rant on Duane Brown coming into camp out of shape, but when you are a running back looking for a job and show up looking like me after a Double Dave’s bender? You deserve to get shit-canned.
I don’t know much and don’t have time to look (break between meetings) about Torrin Tucker, so if anybody has more insight than the article, then let us know. I have a feeling he’ll be a warm body for the pre-season and little more.
Kickoff (Two-A-Days Version)
Aug 5, 2008 2008 Season, 2008 Training Camp, Amobi Okoye is an adult, Big dudes doing the little things, Kickoff, Stats, Uncategorized
A few afternoon Texans notes:
Vote for the greatest All-Time Texan. Candidates are Mario Williams, Andre Johnson, DeMeco Ryans, Matt Schaub, and Domanick Williams nee Davis. The lack of Jamie Sharper or Dunta Robinson, both of whom are better choices than Schaub or Williams, bothers me.
Amobi Okoye fully expects to be dominant this year. “Hawaii is my goal and it should be everybody’s goal, and in doing that I have to get at least 15 [sacks],” Okoye said. “I know that’s a lot for a defensive tackle, but I think it can get done. I know it can get done.” Now, while I don’t think he’ll get that many sacks (Darnell Dockett had the most of any DT last year with 9 and Tommie Harris, whose playing style one could argue Okoye’s most closely resembles, had 8), I admire that kind of enthusiasm and confidence. And, who knows, maybe the kid knows something we don’t and he’ll post a Warren Sapp (16.5) or John Randle (15.5) season.
So…what you’re saying is that DeMeco is even better than we realized? Interesting article from the Cowtown Morning News regarding how tackles are tabulated in the NFL. Apparently, the Texans are one of a very, very small group of teams who accept the press box tackle numbers as “official.” Most other teams have their assistant coaches review the tapes on Monday and submit a new set of tackle numbers. The problem with this, as you probably guessed, is that logical results are a rarity. For instance, the Colts’ staff gave the team credit for 891 solo tackles…in 781 plays. From now on, I am making up my own official tackle numbers. DeMeco just got three in this post alone. (Side note: Unfortunately for fantasy football players, most online games use the pressbox numbers.)
Calvin Dawson
Aug 2, 2008 Uncategorized
Back in this post, I wrote:
I know nothing of [Calvin] Dawson.
Laziness on my part? Probably.1 But, thankfully, someone else did the legwork and sent me the following info:
How can you say you know nothing about Calvin Dawson? All you have to do is type his name in Google and you will see. First off, he is from Univ. Louisiana Monroe, not Lafayette. Secondly, he holds just about every rushing record at the school. Houston would be crazy to pass on this guy…anyone who can attend a small school like ULM and still average over 100 career yards per game against all SEC schools he played against is a machine. This guy is one of the hardest workers with a great ethic. Someone will pick him up and several teams will feel like fools for passing on him. Mark it down.
So, there ya go. If nothing else, it appears that Houston is bringing in talented bodies to throw at the position, rather than relying on the Adimchinobi Echemandu’s of the world. (Thanks to the anonymous reader who sent that information.)
1 Actually, yes.
Kickoff
Jul 28, 2008 2008 Training Camp, Batman, Kickoff, Super Mario, Uncategorized
After two days with no internet and two days in Missouri, I am back. I know you missed me. YOU know you missed me. Here be the links. Unless otherwise noted, h/t to Eric on these.
Scary. Mario Williams and his teammates all agree—you still have not seen the best possible Mario Williams. That sentence should make any QB on the Texans’ 2008 schedule piss himself.
Batman Returns? Ahman Green swears that last year was a fluke, that he’s not injury prone, and that he’s going to be back with a vengeance this year. You’ll forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.
Greetings and Salutations. Chris Taylor? Earl Cochran. Earl? Chris.
Quickly
Jun 24, 2008 Uncategorized
We interrupt your regularly-scheduled blog for an announcement: I am going to be trying out some different WordPress plugins this morning that will mainly affect commenting on posts. Please give me feedback, either in the comments to this post or via email, about how the new options are working with browsers other than Firefox 3.0.
Gracias,
M
Update: The grey was unintentional, but I think I might like it if I lightened it up a bit and/or went with white text instead of black. Thoughts?
Also, over in the sidebar, I am trying to get the Most Frequent Commenters to show up in some sort of uniform order that you can actually see, but it ain’t workin’ so well on Firefox. Suggestions?
Update 2: I think that’s about it for today. You should be able to click on “Quote” underneath someone’s comment and have it appear in your comment area, though I still can’t get it to attribute a name to the comment right now. Colors should be back to normal, but you should be able to see the Top 10 commenters in white text on the blue background in the sidebar.
Final Update: I added gravatars to the comments. If you don’t have one, click on the blue G logo and register for one. It’s quick and easy and adds some personality to the comments.
Stay Tuned
Jun 16, 2008 Bloggerating, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Self-Referential Stuff, Uncategorized
I realize that the last, oh, week (at least) has been little more than the kickoff posts and that such link dumps smack of laziness. Keeping in mind that BFD and I really are incredibly lazy, I promise that we have some more substantive stuff in the works. It’s just going to have to wait one more day, at least on my end, because I am playing catch-up today.
For now, I offer:
P.S. Totally unrelated, but the blockquote citation in the comments doesn’t make sense. All you have to do is the traditional <blockquote></blockquote>. I don’t know what the hell the “cite=”"” part is about.
Kickoff
Jun 9, 2008 2008 Season, Amobi Okoye is 20, Barbaro is dead, Kevin Bentley, Kickoff, Teams that aren't the Texans, Uncategorized
Can you hear me now? Good.: DeMonster, thanks in part to being a three-down linebacker, will be wearing the defensive headset for the Texans next year. The headset, which is like that used by the offense, is a new twist heading into 2008. For teams with more thoughtful players, such as DeMeco, Kevin Bentley, and Amobi Okoye, it’ll be a distinct advantage. The Texans could be a team with a lot to gain from this new do-hickey.
Bad News for Barbaro?: Kubes:
(on if T Charles Spencer will return before training camp) “Well, obviously, we’re down to a couple of days. We’ve had long discussions with him yesterday. The bottom line is that we’re not quite sure that he’s ready to get out here and be more active, so they’ll evaluate that through the weekend and make a decision.”
(on if would be a big deal if Spencer doesn’t make it out before training camp) “Well, it’s a big issue, you know, and the issue is strictly a numbers issue with the football team because taking 80 guys to camp and having 80 guys to go through an NFL camp is just a very small number. And it’s new water for all of us as coaches and general managers, so that’s why it makes this decision even tougher as we move forward.”
Let’s be honest: This is about as negative as you will see something during OTAs. As the Texans near their 80-man roster cutoff heading into camp, Barbaro is in trouble. Purely speculation on my part, but I’ve got a bad feeling after seeing these quotes.
This Year’s Jim Morris Award Goes to: Tim Bulman.
Look, this is great for him and all, but it also shows that we failed to address a major area of need in the draft. And, even though we had Colvin in for a visit, it looks like we will bring him in at LB and not DE if we sign him. Hopefully, we’ll be able to find something during camp cuts. I still don’t think we have an adequate answer opposite Mario (though, again, I have a Chaun-on!).
RIP: Jim McKay: The way he handled the 1972 Olympics should be required course materials for journalism classes.
RIP Dwight White: As badly as the Steelers used to kill us in the old days, there was at least a working respect for the team. The Steelers were not only talented, but they were a hard-working team. White was a cog of the Iron Curtain squads, a disrupter who complimented LC Greenwood on the other end.
The difference between the Steelers of yester-year and the Dallas Cow-fuckers of today? Class.
Ending on a Happy Note: More Kubes:
“Well, I want to knock on wood, but in all honesty, this camp, I think he’s the most improved player. He’s a pretty dang good player to begin with but what you saw take place here over the course of the last three weeks, you saw a guy go from still having some of his rookie habits, they went away in one week and we haven’t noticed them in the last two. That’s a good thing. It tells me he’s growing up. He’s becoming better. He’s becoming a pro. And if that happens, we’re going to be a better football team. I’ve been very impressed with the player he’s become through OTAs.” - on Okoye
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to dry off.
Edit: Thanks to Stacy and Foomey for meeting me for a beer Saturday night. It was great meeting y’all.
God blessed Texas with his own hands
May 31, 2008 Awesomeness, BFD's Real Doll, Boobies, Fisted by Jessica Alba, Uncategorized
In case you missed it on Deadspin, it seems that former Texans cheerleader Carrie Milbank has a new gig doing something with hockey. I dunno, I didn’t really read the story. But here are some pics of Carrie for your weekend enjoyment. (And here is her bio.)
I believe the words you are looking for are “Jesus titty fucking Christ on ice skates! Thank you, Matt!”
