Vonta Leach KTFO Award - Week 15
Dec 17, 2008 Fuck the Cowboys, Vonta Leach KTFO Award
Pop Quiz: Based on the following clip, Cory Proctor (#71) is:
a. The laziest lineman ever
b. Siding with TO in the Cowboys’ intercine lockerroom wars
c. A fan of the KTFO award
d. All of the above
Regardless of your answer, the result is the same–Justin Tuck and Mathias Kiwanuka share the Vonta Leach KTFO Award for this week.
Tony Romo…
YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!
Update: Displaced Texan is all over this. Here’s another angle. I like this one better, actually.
Vonta Leach KTFO Award - Week 14
Dec 8, 2008 Fuck the Cowboys, Vonta Leach KTFO Award
I have few rules in life. One of them, however, is that if you tackle someone by throwing his teammate into him, you will win this award. Bonus points if the people you are tackling are Dallas Cowgirls.
As Texans fans already know, James Harrison is a beast. Now he’s also the winner of the Vonta Leach KTFO Award.
Roy Williams AND Tashard Choice…
YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!!
Vonta Leach KTFO Award - Week 13
Dec 1, 2008 2008 Season, Awesomeness, Vonta Leach KTFO Award
[You might have already seen this at KSK, but, as Chris noted in the comments to this post, there is only one possible winner for this week's award.]
It seems that Ryan Clark is not a big fan of Wes Welker. Or maybe he’s just a huge fan of decapitation. Either way, that works for us here at DGDB&D.
Edit: Immediately after the hit, when they pan to Troy Polamalu, is it just me, or is Troy making the sign of the cross, as in “Jesus Christ, I hope Wes is still alive?”
Ryan Clark, you’ve won this week’s Vonta Leach KTFO Award.
Wes Welker…
YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!!
Vonta Leach KTFO Award - Week 12
Nov 25, 2008 Awesomeness, Super Mario, Vonta Leach KTFO Award
Jamal Lewis is a large fellow. Not just for a running back, either. I mean, dude is about 250 lbs and is almost six feet tall. If he walked into the room where you are sitting right now, you’d think something along the lines of “Jesus, that’s a big ol’ dude.” (Or, if you were in Tennessee, “Hey, why is there a black guy in the room?!? Stupid de-segregation.”)
Unfortunately for Jamal, there exists someone larger. A man by the name of Mario Williams. And when 6′7″/295lb Mario Williams met up with the suddenly-seems-smaller Jamal Lewis, this ensued:
Mario Williams, you are now the proud owner of the Vonta Leach KTFO Award. (Bonus points were awarded to Mario for the shocked look on Toasty Reeves’ face.)
Jamal Lewis…
YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!
UPDATE: Here’s the video. The hit is about 2/3 of the way through.
Vonta Leach KTFO Award - Week 11
Nov 23, 2008 Awards, Awesomeness, Vonta Leach KTFO Award
I know this is late going up, but I have an excuse. Specifically, I (and others) looked all week for a clip of this hit, but could find nothing. So the question became do we award the prize to someone else simply because a clip was available or do we say fuck it and award it to the rightful winner?
We are all about rightful in these parts.
So, here’s the situation. Fourth Quarter, Texans at Colts. The Texans have just scored a TD to make the game 27-30. On the ensuing kickoff, Chad Simpson bobbles the ball a bit, then takes off toward his right sideline. He arrives at the sideline right around the 20-yard line…where Vonta Leach proceeds to knock the ever-living fuck out of him. (This is where I would enter explosive sound effects and shit if I had such ability.)
The best part of the hit, however, was Leach’s reaction afterward. He didn’t get up and dance around. Rather, he glared at the Colts and seemed to subtley flex on Chad Simpson, who remained on the ground for a moment. That’s how you do it, kids. Act like you’ve been there before. Act like you deliver those hits so often that some idiot blogger has named a weekly award after you.
Chad Simpson…
YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!!
Vonta Leach KTFO Award - Week 10
Nov 10, 2008 Disturbing (yet accurate) Metaphors, This whole award was DT's idea, Vonta Leach KTFO Award
Even Texans fans have to look at what the Rams are going through right now and feel a little pity. I mean, we theoretically have Pro Bowl talent at a number of positions and can see where we need to improve. The Rams… well… is implosion an option?
Anyway, you KNOW the wheels are coming all the way off when a corner blitz is not only effective but also results in your QB getting flung to the ground like a used rubber in a $20 whorehouse (complete with football-shaped spilled ejaculate!)
That hit resulted in two things. First, Abram Elam takes home the prestigious DGDB&D Vonta Leach KTFO Award for Week 10, which I have no doubt is and will remain the highlight of his (or any) career.
Second, Marc “I spell it with a ‘c’ because I’m a douche” Bulger…
YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!!
Vonta Leach KTFO Award - Week 9
Nov 3, 2008 2008 Season, Vonta Leach KTFO Award
Brady James had a plan. He was going to fill the hole, knock Brandon Jacobs down, and then flex like the douchebag all Cowboys are. Problem was, Brandon Jacobs found James’ views uninteresting and did not subscribe to James’ newsletter.
Then he ran James the fuck over and won the Week 9 Vonta Leach KTFO award on his way to the endzone.
Brady James…
YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!!
AJ, K-Dub, and DDR
Oct 30, 2008 2008 Season, Andre Johnson, Dunta Robinson, Posts that list too many players, Preview, Self-Referential Stuff, Super Mario, Vonta Leach KTFO Award
[Author's note: I'm a little late getting this finished because I got sidetracked with you bastards complaining about formatting issues. Regardless, here it be.]
Because of this blog, I generally watch games with a thought of “ok, what’s the big picture lesson here” in the back of my mind. Approaching the game that way does two things for me: 1. It makes writing the post-game post easier and, 2. it keeps me (usually) from overreacting in the moment and, instead, forces me to evaluate the game as part of the larger season.
This past Sunday, however, the only large, overriding truth I could pull from the thing is that the Bengals really, really suck. And you know what? I don’t care.
I don’t care because that was a motherfucking beatdown in every facet of the game. In fact, the only thing I can find to criticize (other than the usual dumb shit pulled by R. Smith) is the same thing Tim found—that the starters should NOT have been out there in the fourth. And, hell, after seeing this team piss away two wins late, I can’t even really get too worked up about keeping them on the field and running up the score just to be safe. (Though, had Andre Johnson gotten hurt, my tune would be wholly different.)
Random observations from the game:
1. Matt Schaub looks REALLY fucking good right now. NINE incompletions in two weeks? Total?? Jesus. That rules. And when you start finding Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) open, you are definitely going through your reads. It took a while, but the Schaub we all hoped we were trading for seems to have arrived.
2. A huge part of why Schaub looks so good? Because Andre Johnson is a god. The man makes spectacular catches so often that we’ve come to expect it. He’s the AFC Offensive Player of the Month. He seems to always be open. He’s the perfect mix of Hines Ward and Randy Moss, but with none of the attitude of either. And, hell, he doesn’t even complain when Schaub hangs him out to dry—he just makes the catch, takes the hit, and trots back to the huddle. Class act all the way around.
3. Vonta Leach, Blocking Fullback >>>>> Vonta Leach, Pass Catching Fullback Inexplicably Split Out Wide. The latter was a liability; the former knocks motherfuckers’ dicks in the dirt.
4. I am still not sure what to make of Zac Diles. He’s playing his ass off and playing well right now, but there have also been times this season when he’s been exposed as being too small to really play SLB. For the time being, I guess I’ll just enjoy how aggressively he plays the position and hope that teams don’t start running right at him.
5. Kevin Walter and DDR continue to show that there is always a place in the NFL for guys who bust their asses on every single play. Walter’s second TD was one of the most heads-up reactions I’ve seen from an NFL player this year. How many guys would have stayed down? How many more would have assumed they were down after the touch and gotten tackled?
6. Didn’t you used to be Chad Johnson? Shut your pie hole, fuck-o.
7. A couple different people pointed this out to me, but doesn’t it seem like we use motion on every single play lately? Why is this? For one thing, we rarely cross a guy all the way to the other side of the field—it is usually just moving toward the line and then back out or Elvis splitting out from the TE position—so it’s not like we’re looking to exploit matchups. For another, we throw so much right now that most teams are playing some sort of zone against us and aren’t going to follow the motion man. I don’t get it. I guess I can’t argue with the current results in the passing game, though, so I’ll deal.
8. Much like the ROUSes, I was reasonably sure the Texans’ Red Zone Defense did not exist. Nice to see it espcape the fire swamp and make an appearance. [/The Princess Bride references]
9. Dunta Robinson is a bad ass. The INT was awesome (and set the franchise record), but his reaction after not intercepting the earlier pass was even better. A lot of guys would have jumped up and danced for knocking the ball away; Dunta was mad at himself for not making the pick. That’s the difference between being a character and having character.
10. Can we get Jacoby’s mom seats in the front row of the other endzone, too, since we go that way twice per game? She is some serious good luck for the man.
11. Dear Travis Johnson, That was your second career sack. You have seven whole tackles this year. You’ve been beyond worthless for 90% of the snaps throughout your time in Houston. There is no fucking reason you should be dancing about anything. Thankfully, given your track record, we don’t have to worry about you doing anything else this season that might inspire such celebration. Cordially, Matt
12. I miss the old, non-injured DeMeco Ryans. I know I’ve been spoiled over the last two years, but it sucks to see him not make plays he would have made last season. It’s cool to see him still playing his balls off, though.
13. Before Superman goes to bed, he puts on Mario Williams pajamas.
So, after stomping a mudhole in the Bengals, we are back on the verge of .500. Even better, we are right in the mix with a whole bunch of other teams at or around 3-4. With three division games remaining, as well as some winnable games outside the division (I’m looking at you, Chicago), we definitely control our own destiny.
We just have to beat Minnesota first.
Vonta Leach KTFO Award - Week 8
Oct 27, 2008 2008 Season, Vonta Leach KTFO Award
New feature here at DGDB&D on the suggestion of Displaced Texan. It’s the Vonta Leach KTFO Award. The first honoree? None other than Vonta Leach! (What are the odds?!)
I really, really wish there was some way I could embed this clip, but the NFL Nazis won’t allow it from their website. So, instead, here’s the link. Watch Vonta Leach as the run develops. Things you will notice:
1. Vonta sees approaching linebacker, Dhani Jones.
2. Vonta levels Dhani Jones.
3. Vonta then sits on Dhani Jones.
Dhani Jones…
YOU JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!
