I used to root for who???
May 28, 2008 Awfulness, BFD's Real Doll, Bloggerating, You remind me of ____, You'd like to think I was joking
So, I have been spending some time lately doing some spring cleaning. As a long-time pack rat, getting rid of my old sports magazines - which date back to 1977 - has been interesting.
Today, I ran across a cover with Tony Rice, RB, ND, on an old Sporting News.
And it got me thinking: who was my most embarassing man-crush? IOW, who was it that I cheered for relentlessly when they turned out to be a total scrub?
Now, as a grown man, I’m not prone to man-crush-itis, so childhood fave and accomplished wife beater Cesar Cedeno doesn’t count.
Sadly, some of you rooted for Zoolander Jackson like that. No, I never really did cuz I never thought he was worth a shit and was a horrible pick from the start.
Here’s mine: Michael “Puppy Master” Vick. Yes, it’s true. I thought he was all that and a bag of extra crunchy Cheetos where all the Cheetos look like Abraham Lincoln. I loves athletic QBs in the Randall Cunningham mode, and I thought for sure even *he* would be able to pick up enough of the offensive playbook to destroy opposing defenses. Alas, he sucked. Badly.
So, as we hear about Matt’s adventures with beer, who was your embarassing man-crush?
Duane Brown: BFD’s Second Take: Coyote Ugly?
Apr 27, 2008 2008 Draft, 2008 Season, Alex Gibbs, BFD's Real Doll, Duane Brown as Eliza Doolittle, You remind me of ____, You'd like to think I was joking
I’ve had a bit of a cold over the past couple of days, and it’s been a bear to sleep. Top it off with a huge line of storms that hit at about 5:30, and I’m running on little sleep.
So, in that time, I’ve been thinking about Duane Brown, football, and sweaty men in tight pants in general. After looking at the other comments, I think a lot of us having been thinking about large men with big, manly hands…and have come to fairly similar conclusions. Here’s my take:
I woke up next to Duane this morning, and I didn’t have a case of coyote ugly. I looked over at Duane and thought to myself, “You know, he ain’t bad. He’s not a cheerleader, he’s not the hottie drill team chick….he’s kinda like the homely looking Debate Club girl, not at all as in Not Another Teen Movie, though.”
Now, we had a good time, but I’m not quite ready to meet his parents yet. Frankly, he’s going to have to work on a few things to win me over completely, such as creating holes, getting to attack points, getting stronger, and washing windows - you know, the usual stuff.
Now, the last time Alex Gibbs set somebody up in the first round with a LT, it was George Foster. Foster was also a “terrific athlete” who was supposed to be all that and a bag of Cheetos. Sure, we can’t control the fact that he ate all that, the bag of Cheetos, and the bag, but it still turned out to be a bust of a pick. Alex seems to be a bit better at the whole “My Fair Lady” thing, taking lumps of clay and molding them into gold. Matt Lepsis, who was signed as an UDFA by the Broncos, is a perfect example.
We did get 3rd and 6th round picks to make up for trading back. And, heck, I would be elated to take Jamaal-American Charles with one of 3rd rounders to bring in for the occasional menage-a-trois to spice up the marriage a bit.
One additional comment: Somebody mentioned (too lazy to look, sorry!) that this was like 2006 all over again. I respectfully disagree. I think there was consensus that we wanted a LT, just not one so damn early, especially considering we passed on Rashard Mendenhall, a bunch of DEs, and other schwag on the way through.
Don’t worry, Duane: I’ll call you in the morning. I know some people - and they apparent already really like you, as well - that can fix you up to make me proud to be in a long-term relationship with you. It’s a little more maintenance than I had hoped, but I’ll give it a chance to work.
{hugs and kisses},
bfd
Does Sage Rosenfels = Fabian Washington?
Mar 18, 2008 2008 Draft, 2008 Season, Dancing With the 'Tards, DeAngelo Hall, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Non-Texan stuff, Predictions Guaranteed To Go Wrong, Rosie Rosenfels, The Schaub Experiment, You remind me of ____
Bear with me as this little ride might be a bit bumpy (translation: I’m a senile old coot, just happy to have my apple mush at the end of the day).
So, we know that our heroic Texans are willing to trade Rosie Rosenfels, and we know that we’re really, oh just super interested in re-signing Craig Nall to be Teh Schaub’s backup. We know that a certain team up north is willing to cough up a third round pick for Rosenfels. And we know (jeez, repetitive much?) there are reports the Texans are trying to trade back and flip 1st round picks with the Steelers and pick up a 3rd round pick for the effort (follow the link all the way down just above the comments).
What else do we know? Well, it looks like CB Fabian Washington is on the block. I think it’s fair to say that he has underperformed his expectations. While at Cornhusker U., I thought he would be a star at the next level. However, injuries and inconsistencies - and the occasional wife beating - have insured that his stay in Oakland Los Angeles Oakland Whatever will be short. Better yet, his contract is good for two more years, and it’s about as cheap as can be imagined for a player of his caliber.
With DeAngelo Hall on the cusp of entering Raider-land - a trade almost sure to not end well - the Raiders will have a complete log-jam at CB. But, because the Raiders will have to spend their 2nd and 6th round picks on that special head-case, they’ll be terribly short of picks come draft day. You don’t exactly have to be Travis Johnson to see where I am going with this.
Washington will be cheap to acquire due to the aforementioned injuries, inconsistencies, and his off-field transgressions. Plus, Washington isn’t the perfect player by any means: he’s weak in run support, for example. The Raiders aren’t exactly well-known for doing anything well these days, and with Washington only 25 this season, he has plenty of time to turn things around. Oh, and did I mention that he ran a 4.28 40?
This has “match made in heaven” written all over it. Trade the lowest 3rd round pick (probably the Steelers pick if that deal goes through) for Fabian Washington. Then, give me one part Fabian Washington and one part Ray Rhodes, and we might have a Chris McAllister caliber player at CB. Now, bugger off cuz Matlock is on, and I need to adjust the rabbit ears.
PS: Am I the only person who just really doesn’t like The Mountain Goats? I’m intrigued by “The Big Sleep,” so I got that one with my emusic subscription. Also got Levon Helm and the RCO All Stars, Flogging Molly, and Tinariwen tonight. IOW, my usual genre-cluster-fuck of monthly downloads. Weeeeee!!!!
Edit: Corey Smith re-upped with the Lions, so he’s out. I see this as: 1. another straw we go DE in the 1st round (though not a big, back-breaking straw), and 2. why we brought Chaun Thompson aboard to play the speed rusher role off the end. Yeah, he’s a LB, and he’ll compete for the SAM position with LVJ Bentley and Zach Diles, but Chaun does have the size (close enough) and speed to play that role if necessary. Total speculation, though.
Ladies and gentleman, meet my new Petey Faggins
Mar 1, 2008 2008 Draft, 2008 Season, Anger, Beer, Demarcus Faggins sucks, Dunta Robinson, Faggination, Fuck, Fuck the Cowboys, You remind me of ____, You'd like to think I was joking
According to Pancakes, the Texans have signed the execrable Jacques Reeves. My favorite line of the article:
At 5-11, 188 pounds, the 25-year-old Reeves is the veteran cornerback the Texans targeted.
W.T.F? Are you kidding me? Well, at least he adds this:
They’re still going to draft a cornerback, maybe two, and they might sign another veteran.
Ya think? And if Reeves really was that key veteran CB, why would we need to go out and sign another half dozen players?
I went to see what Tim had to say, and that guy could make lemonade out of a gallon of goat piss. Alas, I am not similarly gifted. I’m more the guy who sits on his porch and throws rakes at squirrels, yelling “Get off my lawn!” Kids, of course, get ice picks.
Because I get this perverse enjoyment from watching the Cowboys suck, I openly rooted for teams to throw against Reeves as he reminded me of DGDB&D Hall of Famer Petey Faggins. This was, and will be, a poor signing, and I feel like we have to take a CB with #18 in order to simply keep Reeves off the field. I just don’t think we have a choice now. But, luckily, our new Texan who’ll resemble a Molotov cocktail will cost only $4MM/year.
Where’s my rubbing alcohol? I could really use a drink.
Two jokes, one design
Jan 30, 2008 Dancing With the 'Tards, Houston Chronicle, Inanity, Richard Justice is a talentless hack., T-shirts, You remind me of ____
With one day remaining before the deadline, Liston offers another t-shirt design for the
The DGDB&D “Design A Richard Justice T-Shirt” Contest!!
I will repost all of the designs on Friday. Remember, you have until Friday morning to submit designs. You know you aren’t doing anything productive right now (or else you wouldn’t be reading this); why not make a t-shirt design?
Travis Johnson is having problems with his TPS reports
May 15, 2007 Amobi Okoye is 19, Andre Johnson, Batman, Gary Kubiak, Jacoby Jones is unheralded, Super Mario, Teams that aren't the Texans, The Schaub Experiment, Training camp 2007, You remind me of ____
Head coach Gary Kubiak was on Sports Radio 610 in Houston this morning, talking about all the upcoming OTAs and what he needs/wants/expects from the team this season. Nothing overly surprising or ground-breaking in that interview, I suppose, but there were a couple of points that could at least be characterized as “interesting.” For instance, Kubes basically called out Travis Johnson and Jerome Mathis by saying that both needed to become “full-time contributor[s]” to the team. Between this statement and Kubiak’s simultaneous praise for Anthony Maddox and Manchild, I am guessing that Travis has probably been relegated to second-team for both interior defensive line spots.
Other highlights from the chit-chat:
- Ahman Green is in great shape and has been working incredibly hard this offseason, as if he still has something to prove to the Green Bay front office that so unceremoniously let him go. Batman relishes the opportunity to play for Mike Sherman again and he is clearly the starter barring something catastrophic. This is great news for a team that desperately needs opposing teams to respect the running game.
- TE Owen Daniels role is going to be greatly expanded in an effort to work the deep-middle and better utilize Daniels’ abilities. (I am assuming it works like this: if Batman can indeed establish a ground game, Daniels should not be forced to block as much, which makes life easier for Andre Johnson and Matt Schaub.)
- Despite my hopes that JJ would win the battle for WR2, it looks like Kubiak is a big Walter fan. Walter “reminds [him] of Ed McCaffery.” I have no idea what that means.
- Finally, based on Gary’s comments, I look for veteran malcontent Andre Davis to have a big role, at least until he pisses someone off, in three WR sets. He showed some flashes of real talent in Cleveland, so maybe this will actually work.
